Batty Buddy proudly presents: The continuation of the Spaz Stories

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



I thought I'd just throw caution to the wind a little and continue with the Spaz stories that I had so much fun writing. First, a slight background for those that missed it the first time:

These stories were a responce to a post suggesting bringing back non-wartaverner stories- that is, stories NOT staring US, but rather Jazz and Co. Since I had gotten mad at a bunch of posts insulting Spaz, as well as Jazz, I decided once and for all to show the JMMB Spaz as I saw him: Not just a comic relief sidekick who's constantly overshadowed by his siblings, but as a dedicated- yet modest- future superhero, who just happens to be a little out of it most of the time. It was then that I came up with;

Spaz Saves The World All By Himself With Nothing But Speed, Wits, And A Large Slice Of Cheesecake, and the not yet compleated sequal; The Bozonian Stone.

And now, the summery of both stories:

Spaz is left at home while his sibs and sis-in-law go out on a picnic. After eating all the food in the castle, wrapping a catscradle of wire around his ears, and parking his butt in front of the T.V., he receves through the wires, a distress call. Spaz grabs a piece of cheesecake from the freezer and heads off to the rescue, ultimatly coming in contact with a large battleship which liquidates his airboard and almost kills him. He enters the ship and rescues three droids calling themselves S.O.C.K.E.T. 2M, 2R, and 2U(Who look like a football, basketball, and boomerang respectfully), and they tell him of the Donkongeys plans to destroy the planet of Bozok with a Logic Intencifier Armageddon Ray. After blasting their way through a leagion of guards using S.O.C.K.E.T. 2M's Rubber Poltry gun, Spaz finds that the guy in charge of the whole plan is none other then Jazz's old nemesis: Zoonik(JJ1 the lost eposodes) along with the evil buisnessmonkey: Kong Glomorate(Unrightfully borrowed from Howard the Duck issue #7.) Spaz defeats them both using his speed, wits, and the- now melted- slice of cheesecake, and blows up the L.I.A.R., causing it's effects to backfire on the Donkongey race. The four hero's land on the planet to receive Spaz's reward: A rock. Spaz travels back home to Carrotus just in time to get chewed out by Eva for eating all the food.



A few weeks later, Jazz, Spaz, and Lori find themselves in another one of Devan's illaborate death traps, when Spaz's rock from Bozok starts to glow. Suddenly, the red rabbit teliports outside his bonds, survives several direct hits from Devan's gun without flinching, and knocks the evil turtle out cold. As soon as he realises what he did, he falls into a coma. Back at the castle, the other rabbits start wondering about the stone. Lori touches it, and temporarily turns into an aardvark version of herself.(If you can't imagine it, don't try. I may be the only one who can.) They take it to a father and daughter scientist team and Jazz touches it to show what happens. He goes under a trance, does a little dance and sings a cat food commercial jingle. They leave a piece with the scientists and head home to find that Spaz has maxed out his brothers credit card on B movies from the video store. Jazz blows his top and sends Spaz to return them all, then gets a call from the scientists- Aparently, Lori and Jazz experience really freaky side effects because their personalities aren't quite zainy enought. Spaz gains superpowers when his mind focuses on a certain task, and he goes into a coma when he gets destracted from that task. Meanwhile, Devan has found out about the rocks power(But not, unfortunatly, any of it's drawbacks.) and thinks that it's just what he needs to destroy Jazz once and for all, and take over Carrotus. He sends his henchlizard to capture the Bozonian stone... and Spaz. After a few backfiring rabbit traps, the lizard finally succeeds, and Jazz, Lori, and Eva find that they must now rescue him before Devan figures how to work the thing.

To be resumed... Soon in a war tavern near you...



_________________

"I seem to be the vary personafication of the rage to live- hit me, dunk me, insult me, I'll still hang in there.



-I wonder why."

-Howard the Duck



(RIP William Hanna)

[Coppertop]

Go for it, B.B! I liked the Spaz story http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Violet CLM]

To be resumed..., I like that.

[Rumbo Rabbit]

Argh I cant be in it then http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif



Loving it already



Rumbo

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



And now...

Chapter 7:

Turtle Rock(Yeah, I know... I named this chapter after a level of "The Legend Of Zelda". So sue me.)



Spaz woke with a major headache. The last thing he remembered was noticing a bunch of carrots tied to a stick that was holding up a large cardboard box, and going for them. He had just been going to the video store with his small home cinema collection and his... HIS ROCK!

Where did his rock get to. Come to think of it- where did HE get to. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was back in Devan's lab. Straining to get up, he found he was tied up in a bunch of rope, as well as a large gag.

"Oh... Hello there, Mister Bunny. Glad to see your awake. I made some Cocoa... Oh, wait a second- Boss told me not to take out the gag... Sorry." Spaz looked up and saw Devans henchlizard holding a large mug of Cocoa. AND a small baggy containing... HIS ROCK! He tried to say something, but could only make a muffled screaming noise. "Oh, don't worry. I just wanted to thank you for letting me borrow your rock. You see- Devan couldn't help noticing that rock glowing and giving you superpowers. He was hoping you would lend it to him for a couple of weeks while he sees if he can use it to take over your planet." He put the cocoa down. "And as a token of his gratitude, you get this wonderful commemorative T-Shirt." He revealed a shirt with a picure of a smiling Devan holding a scale model of Carrotus. Underneath were the words 'I reluctantly helped Devan Shell take over my home planet... and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.' The lizard nonchilauntly tossed it into Spaz's lap. "100% cotton-like fibers- dry clean only. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta give this rock to my boss. This world isn't gonna take over itself, you know. Toodles!"



"You took a lot longer then you usually do." said Devan angrily. "You really don't need to be that polite to the enemy ALL the time." "But boss- remember what Ms. Manners always says: 'Being bent on world domination is no excuse for rudeness to your archnemeseseses'..." "Yeah, well I don't really recall that... but whatever. Nice job at getting the rock. If it works, you might just have a bonus comming your way." "OH BOY! Thanks Boss." Devan grabbed the rock... Like with Jazz, and Lori, it glowed brightly, but this time it was a lighter shade of green then it had been when Jazz touched it.

"Do you feel any more powerful, Boss?"

"Not particularly..."

"But Boss... It's glowing- just like it did before when the rabbit got superpowers!"

"That seems to be the ONLY thing its doing!" said Devan, looking himself over. "I'm not flying, turning invisible, growing to gigantic size or anything even remotely resembling a superpower. What am I doing wrong here?" Both of them thought for a minute, then they started to hear a bunch of soft dropping sounds outside the lab. "Sounds like it's raining, Boss. Could that be a superpower?" "Hmm... Maybe I got control over the weather- like that one white-haired lady in the comics... Nah, must be some kinda coincedence..." he turned, and started for the section of the lab where Spaz was being held prisoner. "It may not be as easy as just holding the thing. Looks like a little interigation is in order here." "Inter... igation?" "We're gonna have to beat up the rabbit to get him to tell us what to do."



Meanwhile, just outside Devan's lair.

"Ouch!" Lori felt something small and hard hit her on the forehead. Instinctively, she looked up and saw a large off-color cloud floating overhead. "Great! What a time for it to be...OW!... hailing." One of the small hard particles hit Eva. "OW! That's weird...OUCH! Never seen a cloud that color before..." Something was strange about the rain too, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Jazz held out his paw, which quickly filled up with small, mulicolored pellets. "Hey guys!" he said to his companions. "This isn't hail... It's Jellybeans." "Huh." "Take a look!" Jazz held out his paw, revealing a bunch of the small candies.

"That tears it!" Lori said, trudging through the, rapidly deepening, pile of jellybeans to the lab. "That ugly turtle's got his hands on that rock... AND Spaz. Knowing Devan, it's only a while before he figures out how to use it."

Eva turned to Jazz. "Knowing Devan, we could all just wait out here while he screws things up all by himself..." She put a couple of the jellybeans in her mouth. "...Or buries his lab in sweets." "Yeah... But it's not quite as fun that way." Jazz deadpaned, as he followed his sister, with Eva close behind.



Will the rescue team get to Spaz in time? Will Devan find out how to work the stone? Who will the stone's next victim be? Are any of those jellybeans raining down outside the nasty kind that tastes like rancid toothpaste? What would happen if somebody like Bill Gates were to touch the rock?

To be continued... in chapter 8:

My bunny lies over the commotion

[Violet CLM]

I love the T-shirt, and the rest. But the T-shirt stands out.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



Here's how YOU can get one of these wonderful T-shirts of your own:



Send important Carrotus government secrets, plus 2 dollars S&H to;



Devan Shell

Devan Shell's Secret Labratory

P.O. Box 666 1212

Carrotus



Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery of the shirt, plus 1-3 years for the conquring of your home planet.

[Violet CLM]

That would be a different T-shirt, as it says "Reluctantly"

[Coppertop]

Yeah. . . you could always say he blackmailed you, though.



RuxOr or whatever I'm supposed to say, BB!

[Ducky]

Very cool. You are truly an intellectual soul(or something..I was told I was when stating I liked UHF. The same sort of humor I rekconed.)...carry on. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

Batty Buddy seems quite the public figure at the moment. Especially on ebay. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[KRSplat]

May I please ask that people stop talking about that old topic that was against Spaz and Jazz? It bring up that bad day part of the good days



But kewl story!!!

[Coppertop]

Wot he said.

[Coppertop]

Wot he said.

[JJ BBoy KS]

*Sues Batty*



Hey, he told me to! See?:





On whenever, Batty Buddy wrote:

Que Passa!!!!



And now...

Chapter 7:

Turtle Rock(Yeah, I know... I named this chapter after a level of "The Legend Of Zelda". So sue me.)







Anywayz, great chapter BB! Continue!

[JJ BBoy KS]

On , Ducky wrote:

Very cool. You are truly an intellectual soul(or something..I was told I was when stating I liked UHF. The same sort of humor I rekconed.)...carry on. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

`Ducky





I LOVE UHF!!!

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



EBAY?!? What about Ebay? I didn'tknow I was being sold on Ebay!

I'm sorry I brought up that incedent. I just wanted newcomers to know the story, and I promise I'll never bring it up again.

Also: I'm glad you guys like it... I thank my English teacher. /\http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif/\



Chapter 8:

My bunny lies over the commotion



"Yoohoo, Mr. Raaabiiit; We need to ask you a few..." The lizard went to the room Spaz SHOULD have been. "Huh? Where'd he go?" Spaz, however, was no where to be seen. "What do you mean 'Where'd he go'?" said Devan, still holding the glowing stone. "I thought I told ya to tie him up as best as you know how!" "But I did! And he couldn't have untied it all in that short a time- He must have broken free." "Can't be- that rope was specially designed to be extreamly tough... I created it myself." Devan said proudly. "Besides, if he DID brake himself free, we'd see the remains of the rope. No, he's still tied up, he's just found someway to move without his arms and legs- Still, that means he couldn't have gotten far. I think we'd best signal an alert- we can't let that rabbit escape."

When the two villians ran outside the room to search for the rabbit, nither of them noticed a small tied-up figure jump silently down from one of the corners of the ceiling. The figure then clumbsily stood on its head, and- using its ears as legs, cautiously walked out the, now open, door.



Having had a resonable head start, Lori was already past all the badly programed Laboratory security long before her brother and sister-in-law. The sooner she found Spaz and that stupid rock, the sooner she could leave. Something about that rock made her feel uneasy, and it wasn't just Jazz and her experiances with it, unpleasent as they were.

"ATTENTION ALL GUARDS; BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A LARGE RED DOPEY-LOOKING RABBIT. HE IS CONSIDERED TIED-UP AND EXTREAMLY HELPLESS. SHOOT TO STUN. EVEN A BUNCH OF TWO-BIT TRIGGER-PUMPING MORONS WITH LITTLE PIGGY EYES LIKE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS GUY."

"Huh... Oh great- now there's a full scale alert on this place... Gotta get to Spaz before anyone else..." Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Excuse me, ma'am..." she turned and met face to face with a doofyguard. "But you wouldn't have happened to see a large red dopey-looking rabbit who was tied up, would you?" Lori was caught off-guard for a second, but answered. "Naw, I'm looking for him too." "Ok, well, good luck... See you later." the guard turned and started walking away... then paused for about 3 seconds. "HEY! WAIT A SECOND... YOU'RE THAT YELLO..." his brilliant observation was cut short when Lori opened fire.

"Hmm... Maybe I was giving these guys far too much credit." she said, putting her gun back in its holster. Just then, Jazz and Eva caught up with her.

"What kept you so long, you missed out." "Sorry, we had a little trouble with 'Cuddles'. Eva had to destract him with some of her jellybeans." Lori told the others about what she heard.

"Ok, I guess we'll have to spit up; I'll go this way, you two... OOF!!"

Jazz's plan came to a conveniant end when all of a sudden Spaz- who was still tied up and walking on his ears, came around a corner and ran into him. Actually, the only noticable damage the colliding brothers seemed to have caused eachother was the majority of Spaz's right foot being crammed into Jazz's mouth. Spaz mumbled something, but with his gag, his voice was muffled beyond recognition. Strangely enough, so was Jazz's voice.

It only took Eva to remove the gag, but it took the combined strenth of both girls to remove the foot.

"Man... Am I glad to see YOU guys."

"Well, well. If this isn't touching."

All four of them knew who said it, even before they looked. Hovering a few feet above them was a small security veiwer- a machine of Devan's own design- or so he claimed. Jazz and Spaz had always thought it looked like something from an eposode of the Jetsons. It was basically a floating two-way video screen that the evil turtle used to patrol his lab without putting risk to himself. "Oh, sorry- did I interrupt you?" asked Devan through the veiwer. Jazz drew his gun and shot down the veiwer, even though the element of surprise was lost, they could still try to make a break for it before...

Suddenly, every light in the lab was flashing red. "WARNING! WARNING! SUPERHERO HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

The tell-tale sounds of every member of Devans army were filling the halls. "Great!" Jazz groaned "Everytime I come here something new is added."



Meanwhile, up in Devan's self-designated laboratory lookout post, on a platform near the roof of his lab.

"Hmmm..." Devan thought out loud. "You know, maybe this rock is working after all... Uncanny good luck could be considered a superpower if you thought about it hard enough. Ha haaa!" Devan for the first time in a while, put the rock down. It glowed green briefly before returing to it's origional dull color. "Hmm... Rain seems to have stopped."

Just then, the lizard came in. "Hey, Boss; That bunny guy never finnished his cocoa. It's kinda cold now but it's in perfect shape! Ya want some?" "Huh? Oh thanks, just put it on the table and go away, I need to come up with a sutable execution for you-know-who."

Nither Devan, nor his henchlizard noticed that the table- the same table the bozonian stone had been put was seriously uneven. When the lizard put the cocoa on one side, it lowerd the side and the rock and cocoa started sliding down the table; towards the railing, overwhich was a rather large drop.

Both reptiles turned to the sound of the rolling stone...NO NOT THAT ROLLING STONE!

"QUICK!!! CATCH IT!" "DON'T WORRY, BOSS! I GOT IT!" without giving a thought to his own servival, the lizard lunged over the railing for the rock.

The rock landed into the lizards outstreached hand...

And started to glow a bright yellow...

Right before he dropped over the edge.



To be continued... in chapter 9:

One Heck-of-a Fight and One Heck-of-a Fright

Or

The Jackrabbits VS. Das Uber Lizard



Also, so you know: 'Cuddles' is Devans pet giant ameoba whom I wrote about in my first ever War Tavern story: The story of Devan Shell.

[Coppertop]

I'm the first to like it and say so!



Wait a minute.



I'm the first to LOVE it and say so!



That's better.

[Violet CLM]

I'm sure Lizards are bright yellow already, but that was very good. "Considered tied up and should be considered helpless" http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[JJ BBoy KS]

AHHH!!! THE CHAPTER ENDED!!! QUICK, WRITE ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!

[Ducky]

I'm going to implode! Hurry, Batty, more!

Fabulous, anyway.

`Ducky

[Grath AR]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! THE CHAPTER ENDED! QUICK! KEEP GOING BEFORE Ducky IMPLODES!

[Tha Psycho]

Story is good man, go on before someone gets in coma out of pain





-----------------



check all stories, cuz hard work needs motivation. To reply is to give hope.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



"Please! Sarah! Don't blow up!"

-Ed

Ed, Edd, and Eddy.



(Don't worry, I'm on a roll here- I'll continue before anyone explodes, implodes, falls into a coma, or has their first born eaten by a giant superbeatle from a parallel universe. Heck, I already got half of it done- the Devan half, not the Jazz and friends half.) /\http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif/\



_________________

"I seem to be the vary personafication of the rage to live- hit me, dunk me, insult me, I'll still hang in there.



-I wonder why."

-Howard the Duck



(RIP William Hanna)

[Violet CLM]

*Explodes into a giant superbeatle eating first born in comas of impldoded parallel universes*

[Grath AR]

*Grath implodes* too late *Ducky implodes* oops!

[JJ BBoy KS]

Well, Grath, how does it feel to implode?





(Hurry, Batty. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif)

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



Jeeze, Looks like everyone imploaded. Too bad- guess no one is left to read;



Chapter 8

One Heck-of-a Fight, and One Heck-of-a Fright

or

The Jackrabbits VS. Das Uber Lizard

(Rocky and Bullwinkle, eat your hearts out.)



"Aw, man..." Devan ran over to the edge and watched as the yellow dot that was his loyal sidekick got smaller and smaller and disappeared. "Well, you know what they say: 'no use crying over killed cohorts'." Devan walked back to his desk, picked up the phone, and hit the number on the speed dial right between 'Fire' and 'Mom'. "It's just a shame the rock went too..."

"Rrrringg... Rrringg... Hello, 'Evil Villains' Nameless Sidekicks R Us'- 'If you need a lackey, give us a cracky'. Steve here, you want to take advantage of our two-for-one toady special? Twice the toadies means twice the terror- not to mention twice the time it takes a superhero to total them while you take off..." "Look, can the sales pitch, Steve. I'm looking for a replacement for a sidekick who just bit the big one. I'm looking for something along the lines of the stupid loyal right-hand-person category, preferably reptilian... And I have a 'Frequent Fiend's club card' so if there's any discounts..."

"Hey, Boss. I got the rock."

"...Not now, I'm busy- HUH?!?" Devan turned to the sound of the voice, but no one was there.'Hmm, could have sworn I heard his voice.' thought Devan to himself. Steve brought him back to business. "Well, if your really keen on reptiloids, I got a couple of really cute baby Salamanders looking for a home." "I really don't think so- too high mantenece. Besides, I don't have anything like a fire pit..."

"Look, Boss. I also got the cocoa. Didn't even spill- How bout that."

"What the..." Devan turned around and briefly caught a glance at his old familiar sidekick- before he fell again. "Hold on, Steve. I think I'm going to have to call you back. I'll keep that two-for-one sale in mind, though..." The utterly confused turtle put the phone back on the hook and carefully walked to the edge. There was a very faint, almost undetectable >Boioioioing< noise and he saw a small yellow dot growing larger and larger.

"Hey Boss; whatcha looking at?"

Devan's lower jaw nearly dropped. "But... you... how... what..." The lizard fell again. Smaller, smaller >Boioioioing< Larger, larger.

'Oh my GOD!!! HE'S BOUNCING!'

Meanwhile, down on Terra Ferma, when we last left our anthropomorphic rabbit friends, they were up to their poopy pants in trouble;

"Haw haw!!! Ya dumb bunnies ain't gotta chance." Said one of the thousands of guards.

"Hey, Jazz.- What was that thing you always used to say?" "Um... 'When in doubt; Shoot'?" "Yeah- That was the one."

Jazz and Lori pulled out their usual guns. Eva pulled out a VERY cool-looking red one that Jazz had given her a while ago as a birthday gift (He's quite the romantic, aint he?- Never forgets a birthday, and while it may not be the kind of gift that keeps on giving, it IS the gift that keeps on letting 'em have it.)

Spaz, however, who had a slightly harder time finding his, pulled out, not one- but two guns; one was his usual green one, but the other was bulky, and odd looking, and had a dial on the side with the names of birds on it- The Rubber Poltry Gun.

With a battlecry of "SUCK SWANS, YOU COLD-BLOODED NO-GOOD-NIC NEVER-DO-WELLS" (Which, by the way, caused his companions to look at him like he suddenly sprouted a third ear.) Spaz pulled the triggers of BOTH guns, fireing a large volly of the rubber afformentioned waterfowls, as well as the usual red hot electric death into the front ranks of the army. The others were rather stunned for a second, before joining in the battle, but by that time, Spaz had already taken off running- clearing a trail with flying rubber poultry, and roasting everyone on either sides of the trail, and all the time laughing the laugh of the truly carefree- if not entirely insane- but then, it's kind of hard to tell with a rabbit who has one eye that's permanently larger then the other.

(5 minutes later, in the elevator leading up to Devan's lab observation deck.)

"That was a pretty cool action sequence, Spaz" "Yeah! How'd you learn to knock someone out with birds?" "Where'd you get that gun? Can I borrow it sometime?" "I'll tell you all later." said Spaz. "Right now all I wanna do is get my rock back and go home." "I still don't see why we can't just go home right now- WITHOUT the rock." grumbled Lori.

Then finally, there was a loud >Ding< sound, and the doors opened.

And there was Devan. "Well, well. Fancy meeting YOU here." he said with mock terror.

All four of them shot directly at Devan at the same time- however, all four shots went directly through him without any damage at all. "Geeze, I should THINK you would know better then to do something like THAT by now. I'm currently just a hologram- I just wanted to give you a little goodbye, while I sort out the plans for my reign of Carrotus." the hologram Devan reached into his shell and pulled out a huge, rather messy-looking parchment of paper. It looked like a lot of stuff had been written, crossed-out, and erased on it, and it had more then a few doodles of a stick-figure rabbit wearing a bandana being kicked in the neather reigons by a stick-figure turtle wearing a king's robe, a crown, and a large pair of glasses.

"Let's see here: First; there will be a large statue of yours truly in every city that every citizen must praise three times daily or risk punishment by public flogging. Second; everyone must pay a 5 dollar tax on all really tasty candies, or risk punishment by public flogging. Third; all toilets will be green and have stupid red bandanas on top of the tank. Fourth; 6 PM curfew for all mammals- Any mammals caught outside after 6 PM must be on official buisiness or risk punishment by public flog-"

"-Come on, Dev." Jazz said, partially trying to reason with his foe, but mostly wanting to shut him up. "We found out, and by now you must know it as well- that rock can't give you superpowers just like that: You have to have the right kind of zany personality- And YOU'RE (Pardon me for laughing) just far too logical to use it." Spaz heard this, and realised for the first time what Devan wanted his rock for. Spaz didn't really consider it's ability to bistow superpowers- it was just one of the only momento's from his victory on Bozok.

"Hmm... Good point!" said Devan, sarcastically. "Still, your wrong in saying I can't use it at all- just not directly..." "Not directly? How many other ways exactly are there to use it?"

Suddenly, a booming voice sounded.

"HELLO THERE, BUNNIES!". All four of them turned around-

-and instantly met with the killer giant eyeballs that ate Cleveland.

- Course, the real bad part was that they were surrounded by a yellow reptilian face...

To be continued... in chapter 9:

The Colossal Man-iac

[Violet CLM]

YOU PROMISED US A FIGHT! I UN-IMPLODED FOR THIS?!?!?



Errr, I mean good chapter. Pay no attention to the first line.

[JJ BBoy KS]

Hey yeah, the chapter name was wrong. But the chapter was excellent as usual,

<TABLE BORDER="0">

<TR>

<TD BGCOLOR="LIGHTBLUE">



(Hello, 'Evil Villains' Nameless Sidekicks R Us'- 'If you need a lackey, give us a cracky'. Steve here, you want to take advantage of our two-for-one toady special? Twice the toadies means twice the terror- not to mention twice the time it takes a superhero to total them while you take off...)





</TD>

</TR>

</TABLE>

http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif So cool. CONTINUE!!! http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif



_________________

=EVERYBODY GOTO:

http://pub43.ezboard.com/fjazz2roolzandsodoesl337talkfrm1

=

/*Hey everybody! Read, "A Future Of Destruction" at the War Tavern!!! (Cool Story)*



"For nothing is impossible with God."

Luke 1:37_NIV

~JJ BBoy KS~



<STRIKE>

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



Well, to tell you the truth, I had intended for a fight- I mean, I like coming up with fight ideas. Unfortunatly, I learned too late when I tried writing this something about me I never knew before:



While I can visualise and draw a rather decent fight scene(Mostly onesided fights where the little guy knocks the stuffing outta the big guy.), I can't seem to put it into words. Unfortunatly, when I found this out, I had already named the chapter.



Sorry about the slight lack of action, but I hope the story is still good even without it.



_________________

"I seem to be the vary personafication of the rage to live- hit me, dunk me, insult me, I'll still hang in there.



-I wonder why."

-Howard the Duck



(RIP William Hanna)

[SlaYer]

Dont worry, it is http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[JJ BBoy KS]

It is!

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

"Great ta have ya back, philsy" /\:D/\
"Thanks- Its great to be back, Howard!"/\:(/\
-Howard the Duck movie.

Not sure if I still got it, as it's been so long, but I really want to finish this story, as well as my origin, so here we go again...

Chapter 9
The collosal man-iac

Lori felt her ears droop down the back of her head. "Whoa... Blind-date flash back!"
Eva turned slowly in Jazz's direction. "Let me guess;" she said, holding her gun like it was a dead fish. "These things will probably be pretty darn useless against him now, right?"
Jazz timidly pointed his gun and let a pretty powerful shot ring out. "HAHAHA!!! TICKLES!"
"Yeah... it would kind of seem that way... I think maybe we should... um... RETREEEEAAAAAT!!"
All four of them spun 180* and headed for the elevator... Unfortunatly, upon reaching it- they found a notice: In case of giant killer lizard DO NOT USE THE ELEVATOR. Use the stairs. "Great, life or death situation, and we gotta follow safty regulations..." "HEY, BUNNIES!!! LETS RASSAL!!! YA WANNA RASSAL?!!?" One of the lizards giant mitts grabbed hold of Eva, and Jazz.
"HEY! YOU GUYS ARE IN LOVE, RIGHT?" Jazz and Eva nervously nodded. "I GOT AN IDEA FOR A GAME!!!" Balancing the rock on his head, he put Jazz in his other hand, and started smacking the two lovebirds faces together. "KISSY KISSY KISSY!!!"
Now, if you will remember that rabbits have those really large incisers, you might realise just how painfull it can be to be forced to kiss someone...

Meanwhile, down a little closer to Terra Furma...

"'Attention people of Carrotus... It's been a long time since I first saw your pathetic little planet, and desided once and for all to...' no - wait... '... and desided that it needed a serious image change to commemorate the most glorious of all specieses...' Yeah! Thats good! Devan, you sly old genius you- you've out-done yourself!"

... Um... On second though- maybe that's one cutscene we shouldn't switch to... Um... Lets just keep an eye on our heros.

"WELL! THAT WAS FUN!" Jazz and Eva's ears were bend at odd angles and the formers bandana looked like it was about to fall off. "Thank goodness he's gets board easily." "LETS SEE, WHAT ELSE CAN I DO WITH YOU GUYS?!?" Looking down, he noticed Spaz and Lori, looking for a stairway. Lori sensed that she was being watched and looked up. "Oh...man..."
"I KNOW A GAME WE CAN ALL PLAY!!!" yelled the lizard, snatching Lori and Spaz in his hand. He then proceeded to juggle them while singing an off-key circus jingle.

Lets see if Devan's doing anything worthwhile now...

"'And finally, I'd like to thank all my friends at Mrs. Diablo's school for future evil dictators...'"

Oh, great! You'd think the guy would be monitering our heros to make sure he can send reinforcements at the drop of a hat should they escape... But nooooo- he has to be a typical evil villian and count his chickens before they hatch- Ok, just for that...

"LORI! I got an idea!!! When he tosses you next time, snatch the rock off his head."
"NOWAY! I wouldn't touch that dispicable hunk of ore if it was solid platinum! YOU do it."
"I can't quite reach it! Must have been those pizzas I had last night! You don't have to hold it you know, just smack it off."
“Oh all right… Jeeze- I gotta do EVERYTHING!”
At the peak of being tossed, Lori started her ear spin. The lizard was too busy juggling to notice her do this.
Then she landed on the lizard’s nose. “HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE!…” “Uh oh…” Fast as she could, she ran for the stone.
“OH NO, YA DON’T!” Lori looked behind her and saw a giant hand coming down to swat her like a mosquito. She wasn’t going to make it. She cringed and braced for a world of hurt…

Suddenly- the lizard’s eyes went blank… “Huh?” Lori looked down and saw that he had the same look on his face Spaz had after he noticed the rock was glowing… She didn’t need to grab the rock- just distract the guy who had it. She breathed a sigh of relief…

Even more suddenly then that, the rock stopped glowing, the lizard instantly shrank back to his normal size, and all four of them found themselves in a 50 foot freefall…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…Oooof”

Jazz shook himself back first. “Everyone all right?”
“What happened?”
“Where did the stone go?”
“Who cares… The important thing is that we’re all ok and in one piece.”
“Wait a second…>Sniff< What smells like cheese.”
“OK… this day has just gone from weird to just plain sick.” The last line brought everyone’s attention to Eva.
Jazz gasped… Lori groaned… Spaz muttered the word “Cool!”
Eva was now an off white color and appeared to have several random holes in her body. She also smelled kinda weird. The rock in her hand was glowing blue.
“Eva… Am I going crazy, or are you made outta CHEESE?”

Ok… Lets try this once again-I just hope for the sake of the plot that Devan has found out about this and is planning a retaliation…

“’And let me close in saying that…’” a Swartzengaurd entered the room. “Devan SIR!”
“NOT NOW! I’m busy…” “But sir- the RABBITS!”
“I’ll have the janitor clean them up- that’s what I blackmail him for.” “But they’ve KO’ed the lizard, sir. And the blue one’s got the rock…”

“WHAT? QUICK! LAUNCH AN ALL SCALE ALERT!!!”

‘Bout time- JEEZE what a chowderhead.

To be concluded… in Chapter 10:
Body by Wisconsin

"Whoa- Blind Date Flashback!"
-Susan Lir
Sue and Louie

[Violet CLM]

Oh. Yes.

[4I Falcon]

woowoo! Eva's made of cheese! *falls sideways*

btw, the holes in Swiss cheese aren't called holes. If you did call them that in Switzerland, you'd be laughed out of any cheese shop in the country. The holes are actually called "eyes."

I read that somewhere. ^_^

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

Good point... But if I said Eva had random EYES around her body- you wouldn't be imagining her as a living Eva statue made out of cheese...

"EYE just can't help myself."
-Babs Bunny
Tinytoons

Nevertheless, CheezeEva(MAN... I'm cracking up just saying it.) will play an important role in the next eposode, along with Spaz, so Eva and Spaz fans, who think they don't get enough cool scenes rejoice... YAY!!!

Anyway, I'll probably continue this after Thursday when I get my birthday out of the way. I gotta retrain my "Dig Dug finger" so I can whoop my mom...

Well, that and my younger cousin has been begging me for some comics, and since she and I share a zodiac sign, I feel compelled to get it to her before Gemini is gone.

[4I Falcon]

Imploderific!

*Ran dies*







...if you didn't get it, never mind.

[Wazz Wackrabbit]

Wow, that's implodic!

>SWOOOSHBOOOOM<
*implodes*

O.h, n.o.o.o.o.o.o!.!

Gimme the next chapter or I'll NOT disimplode!
Wait... but.. !? Who imploded me?
*looks around ans smells something*
Maaaan... >THWOOOSH< *warps away*

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

Sit baaaaack as now the show starts
Part twooooo of only two parts
But if this show does well you see,
I'm sure you'll know predictably
It won't be long until part three.
-Return of the killer tomatoes the sequel theme

Sorry about the time this took. After my birthday, I was in a mad whirl of trying to find the revamping of Aero the Acrobat for GBA. Needless to say, I finally found it, and it rocks- so a good amount of my time after was spent drill-attacking evil clowns, grabbing golden snitches, diving into tanks, and kicking Edger Ectors fat spoiled hinny. Good thing the story was almost finished or I would have never finished it.
Really BIG finalie, Really BIG chapter.

Brought to you in handy Imploade-O-Vision, That means this chapter comes in TWO PARTS!!!!
Accept no substitutes...

Listen to these reveiws:

"It's Imploaderific!!!"
-The Exploadable Rabbit Convention

"It's Imploadericious!!!"
-The amagamated union of demonic whatchamacallits

"Chought!!"
-Hudenboti(Pronounced Hood-and-bow-tie) the Cyturbaass

Chapter 10
Body by Wisconsin

"So... Eva... Are you all right?- Being a lifesize Cheese girl after all." asked Spaz, poking his finger into one of the eyes in Evas hair(Which no longer contained indevidual strands, but appeared to be a big wobbly mass on her head.).
"You mean other then the fact that I just swore off fondue for life?" Eva responded sniffing her arm suspiciously. "Hmmm..." said Spaz. "Seems like someone needs to stand alone for a while." "Naw, I'm ok, I guess. Just covered in holes."
Meanwhile, a few thousands of thousands of miles away, on the backwater planet Earth, a bunch of Swiss people burst into spontainious laughter for no apparent reason and shouted "Silly rabbit, they're called eyes." in swiss in unison. Most ordinary people looked at them kind of funny.
Back on Carrotus, Lori had her arm around a bawling Jazz, who was muttering something about how even Jerry Springer would not host a show titled 'Rabbits and the dairy products that love them'. "Don't worry, bro- I'm sure its only temperary." she said, patting him on the back in the most comorting way she knew how.
"You know." said Eva. "I do of see some kind of pattern- Jazz got affected mentally, and you and me got affected physically..." "What happened to sis?" Spaz asked. "She get turned into tofu or something?" Eva wispered into his ear. After a moment of shock, and a mental picture of his sister with thicker ears and a pig snout, the red rabbit rolled over on his back laughing. Lori glared darkly at him for a second, but desided just to ignore the noise.
"Well, It did effect me physically... But I think it also got me mentally as well."
"How so?"
"Er..." Lori looked kind of embarassed. "For my brief moment as an Aardvark, I guess I started thinking like one: I... Had a really BIG ravonnous craving for... chocolate covered... FIRE ANTS!" She gagged for a sec. "After I turned back to normal... the whole image of me shoving spicy insects down my throat seemed kinda disgusting." Spaz paused for a second to catch his breath, then started laughing even harder.
The sounds of Devans all scale alert warning brought everyone, even Jazz, back to there senses. "Oh yeah- we forgot about the whole escaping and stuff." Jazz said sheepishly. "Well, it doesn't look like that should be too hard." said Spaz heading for the door.
"Wait a second... NO!! SPAZ!!! DON'T!!!" Everyone else yelled...
Spaz opened the door... and saw a huge wobbly wall of jellybeans. Slamming the door before the whole thing toppled over on him he gasped and muttered "DID I MISS SOMETHING IMPORTANT?!?!"
"Long story- lets just say this little rock of yours has been causing all sorts of chaos."
Jazz started looking around. "We're obviously not getting out through the door." He muttered. "Start looking for an alturnate exit before Devans goons get here!"
Suddenly... "Speak of the Devil." Eva said, pointing at the droves of baddies marching towards them.
The four of them reached for their guns, but before they could draw them, one of the faster swartzenguards grabbed Eva.
"EAT LEAD- RABBIT!" Said the evil turtle, and before either Eva or Jazz could react, he pointed his gun right at Eva's stomach, and pulled the trigger.
"OW! Now that hurt!" The P.O.ed royal rabbit said. Pulling back her fist, she grabbed the turtle, and one-punched him out of his shell, and into next week(You seem surprised that Eva has that kind of power... Need I remind you of her Mother?). "Man- the nerve of that guy... Hey- what are you all staring at?"
Everyone was looking at Eva. She appeard to be alright... Except for...
"OH JEEZE!!!"
...one small detail...
Eva calmed down a little from the shock. "You know- I don't know which is eerier: The fact that I'm still alive, or the fact that I've got a gapping hole melted in my midsection, and I'm still alive..." "Wow."Jazz muttered. "You could shove a basketball in that thing."
"Hmmm..." Eva said. "You know- this gives me an idea..." Grabbing her arm and streaching it, she looped it into a lariot and, swinging it like a cowgirl, threw it over the advancing army and hogtyed them with a flick of the wrist.
"WOW!! Just like Mr. Fantastic... Only female... and edible... so, more like Mrs... Edibly... Fantastic..." Spaz said.
Everyone looked at him strangly... Even Devans henchmen.
"Um... Nevermind." Spaz said smiling.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

And now, for the SECOND half... In

Imploade-O-vision

"OW!! Could someone-YOUCH!- Give me a hand here?" The henchmen had recovered from Spaz's lame comment and were trying to break free by taking bites out of Eva's extended arm, and some more henchmen had arrived and were doing the same. Jazz, Spaz, and Lori quickly fired and irraticated the turtles, but still more were comming. The four of them were hopelessly outnumber... Oh- and Eva's arm was still streached out and lying in a pile on the floor.
"Anybody have any ideas on how to handle THIS?" She asked, trying in vane to mold her arm back to normal size. In her attempt, she absentmindedly handed the rock to Spaz.
As soon as the rock left her hand and entered Spaz's the glowing stopped and Eva turned into a normal rabbit again- thankfully without the hole in her stomach and the bitemarks on her arm.
"OH... Thank goodness." she said breathing a sign of relief at the sight of her normal sized arm and opaque stomach. Then she turned to the buisness at hand- they wern't out of the woods yet...
"You dumb bunnies ain't going nowheres." said one of the doofyguards. Jazz turned and saw Lori looking skyward."Hey... Theres a window up there." "Huh? I thought Devan's lab didn't HAVE any windows..." Jazz said looking up. Sure enough- there was a lone window around the top of Devans lab. It looked kind of out of place, and there seemed to be a small dragon flying around the frame of it. The dragon spat out a burst of flame and disapeared right before Jazz's eyes, making him wonder if anyone else saw it, or if he had immagined it. "Ah, well- never look a gift plothole in the mouth... But how are we gonna reach it, anyway?"
"That's no problem, bro..." Spaz said, grabbing a hold on a large panel of a machine, he placed it onto his head, and motioned everyone to stand on it. "All aboard Spaz's one-stop express."
Jazz Lori and Eva climbed up on Spaz's metal panel... NOT the one in his head- the one ON his head. "But... What about you?" Jazz said leaning over the side. "Don't worry about ME, bro- I'll catch up..."
Then, concentraiting hard, Spaz exploaded.
The force of the blown up bunny not only ionised the masses of Devans henchmen that were brave and stupid enough to get too close, but caused the metal panel to skyrocket into the air. "You know, Jazz-" Eva said. "Sometimes I wonder where your brother learned how to blow himself up like that." "I don't even know myself." Jazz responded. "I think it was from one too many eposodes of the Addams Family." "What I'm wondering is how he's gonna catch up..." Lori started to say, while peering over at the rapidly shrinking ground.
"What'd ya say sis." Lori jumped at the sound of Spaz's voice, and almost fell off the panel. Turning around, she saw a grinning red face inches away from hers.
Spaz backed off a few inches and looked at the rock, which quickly went from a glowing red back to it's dull color. "MAN!" he said. "This thing is the coolest... Wonder if I can have it laminated or bronzed or something?"
"Windows comeing up... Lets go!" Jazz said pointing.
Lori and Spaz scrunched themselves down, and sidekicked through the window with Jazz and Eva following. Once outside, Lori and Jazz grabbed Spaz and Eva respectfully, and helicoptered down safely to the ground. Looking back at Devans Lab, they saw that it was half-buried in a gigantic mound of jellybeans. "WOW!" Spaz said looking at the pile of sweets. "It's all so very beautiful... Hey, Bro- I think I know what I want for Christmas this year: Maybe we can have the castle burried under a large mound of-" "-Ain't gonna happen!" Eva and Jazz said in unison.
"Well, we got Spaz and his rock back, and Devans obviously immobalised for at least a month. Lets blow this taco stand!" Lori said, puting her gun in it's holster and starting to walk off. Jazz grabbed her by the arm. "Hold on, Sis- We just gotta wait for one more thing." ">Sigh< Do we have to? -We ALWAYS do this!" "Of course- you gotta learn that this is one of the best perks of being a superhero." He then put a hand to his ear.

"Tough luck, boss." "You'll get 'em next time." "NO! They are NOT gonna get away this time. It's been about a decade that I've put up with that lousy lagomorph foiling me, humiliating me, and dragging my reputation through the mud. They WILL all learn respect for the more superior species." Devan said angrilly, pulling his gun from his turtle shell. "I'm personally going to see to it that every last one of them regrets the day they tangled with the advanced genius and good looks of Devan She..." Then he opened the door...
And got buried under a rather thick avalanche of Jelly beans.
"But... How... Where..." Devan poked his head over the surface of the sugary ocean. "Hey boss- We got munchies for weeks." Looking behind him, Devan saw the remander of his henchmen, including his now recovered right-hand lizard swimming in a river of multicolored candies.
Devan got confused... Then his confusion turned into anger... Then the heat generated by his anger caused the candies around him to melt and solidify into a sugary bodycast- making him angrier still.
"CURSE YOU, YOU STINKIN' RABBITS!" Devans words rang out a significant distace away-
And they reached the rather large ears of a certain green bunny. "Ok... NOW we can go." Jazz said smuggly. Taking Evas hand in his, he and his family headed out for home.

"Hey Bro..."
"No we're NOT stopping by the video store this time!"
"But "Enter the Dragon" is on sale this week only- Its a CLASSIC. And I really don't think Dev's going to try to take over the world again for at least another month... PLEEEEAAAASE!!"
"Ok... Maybe."
"Coolness!"

The End... Unless I come up with another story idea to make this a triligy, that is; Will there be further adventures of Aardvark Lori, Cheese Eva, and Song-and-dance Jazz(I don't think we'll see anymore of giant lizard or jellybean Devan.)? Will I ever develope the gusto to actually draw them and post them in the Art forum? Will Spaz meet up with his old pals the S.O.C.K.E.T.s? Will Zoonik ever return to avenge his former boss Konglomerate? Will Devan come up with an even more diabolical plan? And just how did Spaz eat the dopefish- I don't even know, and I'm one of his biggest fans!

By the way, the small dragon is a personal in-joke. It's called a Tymdrakkin and it's fire can actually burn temporary plotholes into the fabric of space and time. As a result, Tymedrakkins are everywhere, and yet, nowhere. Whenever I draw or write myself into a corner, I put one of those dragons in the scene and blame the plothole on THEM. Don't worry, you probably won't see any more.

"I have no flippin' idea..."
-Spaz Jackrabbit
Jazz Jackrabbit 2 comic.

Thank you for using handy dandy Imploade-O-vision.

And now... SLEEEEEEEP! YEEEEESS! SLEEP GOOOOOD!

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

By the way, just in case anyones interested- here's the cartoonish superpowers I've given Jazz, Spaz, Lori, and Eva for this and other stories. All powers were found in the Steve Jackson RPG, Toon: the cartoon Role Playing Game. (If it helps anyone come up with more story ideas, you're welcome.../\;)/\)

Toon powers for the Jackrabbit characters:
Please note: Not all of these have been used, but they are nevertheless there.

Incredable Speed-All Rabbits:
I think this is pretty self-explanitory. All of the Jackrabbits can take off at the drop of a hat, and stop on a dime.

Sidekickness- Spaz and Eva:
Spaz and Eva are not really hero's and are happy with that... for the moment. Until they get their OWN videogames, they will do all sorts of sidekickky things for Jazz, including listening to his leadership, dropping whatever their doing should he be in trouble, and allowing him to take all the credit and media attention afterwords(Lori doesn't have this 'power' because, being just as much of a hotshot as the green rabbit, she does on occation question Jazz's authority- but she probably will help Jazz if need be...).

Toon Fu- Lori and Spaz:
Spaz and his sister are both martial arts buffs- their side kick attacks are living proof of that. These are VERY powerful attacks.

Incredable Beauty- Lori and Eva:
I haven't used this power... yet, but I probably will.
These two are, lets face it, increadably beautiful. This means they can sweet talk any male into doing something- just by pouring on the cute. The only person who probably won't be effected is Devan- who's smart enough to know he's not gonna net any babes in his lifetime.

Trick Shooting- Jazz and Spaz:
The two brothers are both very good with a weapon. Trick shooting allow them to do things like fire their gun while blindfolded, and shoot a nickle at 40 miles away.

Glide- Jazz and Lori:
Helicopter ears anyone? This power slows Jazz and Lori's desent, of course.

Increadable stregth- Eva and Jazz:
Ok, so I gave the Eva and Jazz in my stories more power in their upper arms then a 5 killoton bomb... Hope your not mad at me for that- I just wanted to give Eva some kind of family resembolence to her mother. /\:D/\ Having the calm, collected personallity she does, however, she is not quick to use this power... Unless she gets really really REALLY mad. Jazz's version of increadable stregth is his uppercut.

Exploade- Spaz:
Spaz is the only rabbit in the whole of known existance that can pull this trick off successfully. He can explode anytime he feels like it. It may hurt him, true, but it hurts anyone nearby a whole lot more. BLOWING THINGS UP IS FUN!!!

Increadable Luck- Jazz:
Sure all rabbits must have increadable luck, but look at their feet, and you'll find that Jazz's appear to be the biggest- in a hight/weight ratio(at least to ME!). This means that radom lucky things happen to Jazz and anyone nearby him through the course of an adventure.

Huge amounts of money- Eva:
Being royalty has it's advantages... Like having an unlimited amount of money whenever you need it.

Flash of brilliance- Lori:
Ok... I'm not exactly sure WHY I gave Lori this power, but I don't regret doing it. This power makes her one smart cookie at the most important times, and allows her to figure out what needs to be done a little faster then everyone else.

Punslinger- Spaz:
Ok, since I like him best, I gave Spaz one extra power- this allows him to crack really lame jokes at a moments notice and actually cause anyone who hears them to be unable to do anything else but stare at him oddly for a few seconds. Hey, if that isn't a cool power, I don't know what is.

[4I Falcon]

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS TOPIC WAS LOST IN THE ABYSS OF LAST MONTH! GWEEEEEEARRRGGGBLFFFFFP!

no, seriously. this is hilarious.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

I can't beleave somebody actually revived it.
Anyway, glad you like it! /\:lol:/\

[4I Falcon]

Before someone else beats me to it, I claim this page for Jack Flash, Capt. Firefox, and the rest of the Elite Task Force!

w00t! I've always wanted to say that. :D