HEART OF IRON
Jun 16, 2005, 03:01 AM
I knew going back was going to be tough. No doubt about that, going home after ten years to teach in the same school where it all began was going to open some pretty deep wounds. It had taken all of these years to heal and within the first five minutes of teaching my new grade five class the wounds were about to be ripped wide open again.
I had pretty much slipped into town without too many people taking notice. My parents were dead now so there would be no big reunions and having left almost no friends behind there really was no one to announce my arrival. Maybe everyone else had forced the memories out of their heads. I had always tried but never managed to be very successful.
I stood there at the front of my class giving taking attendance going through one by one as they raised their little hands in response to their names. Going down the list I recognized a lot of the names, their parents were the kids I had attended these same classes with. All the way through school until grade twelve when they would all graduate with the exception of three of us. Instead of diplomas we would be trying to pick up the pieces of our young shattered lives.
Shawn Abbot, Andrea Acton, Charlotte Beaton, ...Kyle Black ... and soit would start. Memories and visions I thought were finally buried came crashing back so fast I had to sit down... Kyle... I had no idea she would name him that, but of course it made perfect sense. To name a child after his father what could be more natural.
My vision swam for a minute and I heard my voice asking Young Kyle to please stand so I could see him. Dark curly hair and deep set blue eyes that looked mildly confused at being the only child in the class asked to stand during attendance. How well I knew this look. His father had learned to use that same expression into the most endearing fashion that almost no one could turn away from him. Without even realizing it he could charm anyone into anything. He could make you feel better about yourself just because he took the time to talk to you. One flash of that sweet lopsided smile and you felt special.
"The Charmer" that's what we called him in High School, but he didn't get it. The only person who didn't know Kyle was special was Kyle.
We weren't friends in elementary school. Kyle and I came from two different worlds. I was the poor kid from a shack in slumville and their house a big white building with pillars that stood at the top of the hill overlooking the best part of town. Kyle's father was a dentist, mine was an alcoholic who I don't ever remember having a job. My mother cleaned houses to pay the bills.
Needless to say school for us was again very different. Kids being cruel like we all know they can be, I was picked on from day one. I had a really high voice and one-day our teacher was handing out papers and made a mistake and pronouncing my name. He called me Arleen instead of Arlen and it stuck. Tie all this in with the fact that I was very mild mannered kid and I got everything from sissy to fruit from grade one through six.
Kyle on the other hand was the magnet that drew all the other kids in. He was the most popular and every ones favorite from the kids right on up to the teachers and parents. I envied him and he didn't know I existed.
Junior High brought some changes for all of us. I had gone away for the summer and thankfully I came back with a new much deeper voice. My body filled out from working on my uncle's farm for the summer so I wasn't the scrawny kid everyone had beat up over the past six years. My blond hair had gone lighter and framed, if my mother could be believed, her handsome little James Dean.
Kyle too had changed, as if just to prove the point that perfection can be improved upon. His curly ebony hair had straightened out and was now a wavy mane that brought out his glistening blue eyes even more. His face had matured into that of a young man with cleft chin and deep dimples that made his crooked smile even more enduring.
Finally I would find acceptance from my peers and although once in awhile I would still hear some one calling Arrrlleeeenn from some where behind me. No one dared say it to my face.
Kyle and I knew of each other now and although we still traveled in very different circles, my looks had made me more acceptable to the masses. Being a straight A student didn't hurt either. On this little front I had Kyle Black beat by a mile.
And so this is what would bring us together. In order to earn extra money to help out at home with the bills, I started tutoring other students for five bucks an hour. One of these turned out to be Cally Jessum, a sweet young girl with long chestnut hair and pearly green eyes that shone like a cat. She was also Kyle's girlfriend. The poor thing was bright but could not grasp the simplest math application, so when I tutored her to a B+ on her final in grade 11 she was wonderful at singing my praises to the entire school.
I soon had more students than I could handle and more money than I ever imagined. Suddenly I was borderline popular. Words like (-) were no longer used in reference to my name instead it was genius ....oh sorry did you had to read all this?JUst look at my sig..
I had pretty much slipped into town without too many people taking notice. My parents were dead now so there would be no big reunions and having left almost no friends behind there really was no one to announce my arrival. Maybe everyone else had forced the memories out of their heads. I had always tried but never managed to be very successful.
I stood there at the front of my class giving taking attendance going through one by one as they raised their little hands in response to their names. Going down the list I recognized a lot of the names, their parents were the kids I had attended these same classes with. All the way through school until grade twelve when they would all graduate with the exception of three of us. Instead of diplomas we would be trying to pick up the pieces of our young shattered lives.
Shawn Abbot, Andrea Acton, Charlotte Beaton, ...Kyle Black ... and soit would start. Memories and visions I thought were finally buried came crashing back so fast I had to sit down... Kyle... I had no idea she would name him that, but of course it made perfect sense. To name a child after his father what could be more natural.
My vision swam for a minute and I heard my voice asking Young Kyle to please stand so I could see him. Dark curly hair and deep set blue eyes that looked mildly confused at being the only child in the class asked to stand during attendance. How well I knew this look. His father had learned to use that same expression into the most endearing fashion that almost no one could turn away from him. Without even realizing it he could charm anyone into anything. He could make you feel better about yourself just because he took the time to talk to you. One flash of that sweet lopsided smile and you felt special.
"The Charmer" that's what we called him in High School, but he didn't get it. The only person who didn't know Kyle was special was Kyle.
We weren't friends in elementary school. Kyle and I came from two different worlds. I was the poor kid from a shack in slumville and their house a big white building with pillars that stood at the top of the hill overlooking the best part of town. Kyle's father was a dentist, mine was an alcoholic who I don't ever remember having a job. My mother cleaned houses to pay the bills.
Needless to say school for us was again very different. Kids being cruel like we all know they can be, I was picked on from day one. I had a really high voice and one-day our teacher was handing out papers and made a mistake and pronouncing my name. He called me Arleen instead of Arlen and it stuck. Tie all this in with the fact that I was very mild mannered kid and I got everything from sissy to fruit from grade one through six.
Kyle on the other hand was the magnet that drew all the other kids in. He was the most popular and every ones favorite from the kids right on up to the teachers and parents. I envied him and he didn't know I existed.
Junior High brought some changes for all of us. I had gone away for the summer and thankfully I came back with a new much deeper voice. My body filled out from working on my uncle's farm for the summer so I wasn't the scrawny kid everyone had beat up over the past six years. My blond hair had gone lighter and framed, if my mother could be believed, her handsome little James Dean.
Kyle too had changed, as if just to prove the point that perfection can be improved upon. His curly ebony hair had straightened out and was now a wavy mane that brought out his glistening blue eyes even more. His face had matured into that of a young man with cleft chin and deep dimples that made his crooked smile even more enduring.
Finally I would find acceptance from my peers and although once in awhile I would still hear some one calling Arrrlleeeenn from some where behind me. No one dared say it to my face.
Kyle and I knew of each other now and although we still traveled in very different circles, my looks had made me more acceptable to the masses. Being a straight A student didn't hurt either. On this little front I had Kyle Black beat by a mile.
And so this is what would bring us together. In order to earn extra money to help out at home with the bills, I started tutoring other students for five bucks an hour. One of these turned out to be Cally Jessum, a sweet young girl with long chestnut hair and pearly green eyes that shone like a cat. She was also Kyle's girlfriend. The poor thing was bright but could not grasp the simplest math application, so when I tutored her to a B+ on her final in grade 11 she was wonderful at singing my praises to the entire school.
I soon had more students than I could handle and more money than I ever imagined. Suddenly I was borderline popular. Words like (-) were no longer used in reference to my name instead it was genius ....oh sorry did you had to read all this?JUst look at my sig..