Foo Story 1

[Black Ninja]

Greetings, everyone. I was going to wait a while to post my story, but then I had the good idea to post it in chapters to build the suspense a bit. Just so no one asks about this, the people who asked to be in the story will be appearing later. Anyway, here it is in all its glory: Chapter 1.
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<i>The year is 32xx AD. There is war in the air – a conflict is building up but no one is willing to fire the first shot. There are two main factions in this war: the foos, led by Fooruman; and the unfoos, led by Unfooruman.</i>

<b>Chapter 1: The foo who lived</b>

“Master, master, come quickly,” cried Black Ninja. Fooruman quickly turned away from the window he was looking out and faced his assistant. “What is it?” he asked. “Sir, I don’t really feel like installing that phpBB mod you gave me. The instructions are unclear and the .txt file is over 11 pages of unformatted nonsense,” BN replied. Fooruman looked at him like he was stupid. “Get Sonyk to do it for you,” he said. Black Ninja didn’t hesitate to go get his personal servant, Sonyk, to do the work for him – and why would he? Sonyk had been a faithful servant for years, and had never questioned any order given him.
Two hours after giving Sonyk this massive amount of work, Black Ninja returned to check on his progress. “That mod better be installed flawlessly, minion,” BN said, a little too loudly. “The master is upset with the fact that you can’t seem to follow orders in a timely manner. What are you going to do about that?”
“Forgive me, sir. This mod IS made for a much older version of phpBB, and-“
“Excuse me? Are you questioning the master’s judgment? I should cut off your remaining thumb for such impudence!”
“Please, please! I forgot my place…sir.”
“Of course you did,” Black Ninja paused for a moment, then continued, “If it happens again, you’re going to be out of here faster than you can turn your head around. I’m going to bed – I expect that mod to be installed tomorrow morning when I wake up. If it isn’t, you’ll be going without dinner. Is that understood?”
“Of course.”
“Good. Get to work then,” Black Ninja replied. He then turned around sharply and headed through the small door in the back of the room. Sonyk watched him walk out the door, and quickly returned to the daunting task ahead of him.
Five long hours later, Sonyk clicked the fateful “install” button on the ever-popular EasyMod control panel. As the mod installation program began working for him, he got up shakily and looked at his surroundings. He was in a small room with no natural light – the windows were boarded up, and his only light came from the old 12” CRT monitor that was in the center of the room. The dim light of the dieing monitor cast an eerie glow on the room around him. In the corner, there was a small spring mattress – his bed. As he looked around the room, he was struck with the fact that it had been 7 years to the date that he’d been assisting Black Ninja. He was then struck with an even more shocking realization – during the time he’d been Black Ninja’s assistant, he’d never once heard the word “thank you”. He glanced back at the dusty old monitor to check on the progress of the mod installation – it looked like this one would take quite a while. He allowed himself to crawl onto his hard old mattress and fall asleep.
<center>**********</center>
“Wake up, you worthless slave,” Black Ninja screamed. “The master is not very happy with your little ‘joke,’ so I hope you have a good explanation for it,” he continued.
“Forgive me, sir, but I don’t really know what you mean…” Sonyk stumbled on his own words as he forced himself to wake up.
“Direct your attention to your workstation, fool,” Black Ninja said angrily.
Sonyk turned around and looked at the monitor. The Foo Products forum was onscreen, but something was horribly wrong. All the posts were gone, and the database looked like it must be corrupted. Sonyk tried to come up with a response, or perhaps a way to justify this terrible error, but when he opened his mouth to speak, words eluded him.
“I’ve already talked to the master about your punishment, and you’ll be happy to know that he’s decided to be extremely lenient. If I were in charge of your fate, you’d already be dead. However, the master believes that killing you would only make you a hero in the eyes of our enemy.” Black Ninja spoke with an unmistakable rage in his voice; Sonyk knew that his punishment would be severe. “Your punishment is simple, Sonyk. You’re fired. Get out my sight.”
Sonyk stood still, dumbfounded. He continued to search for the right words to say, but was unable to speak. He knew that he’d have no place in society after working for the foos for so long – the commoners would fear him, and the unfoos would hate him. He’d be an outcast. Sonyk’s thoughts were interrupted by Black Ninja.
“You have 5 minutes to gather your possessions. If I see you in this castle EVER again after that point, you’re as good as dead. Now get out.” Black Ninja grinned an evil grin and walked out of the room, leaving the door open behind him.
It was at that point that Sonyk had a shocking realization: the commoners were not pledged to either faction, and lacked a true leader. As Sonyk gathered his few belongings and prepared to leave what had been his home for many years, he was comforted by the thought that vengeance might be his.

[Sonyk]

I'm comforted by the thought that vengance might be mine.

Continue, this is already pretty interesting. Or maybe it isn't and I just like the thought that I have a chapter devoted to my character.

[Risp_old]

All the really important years in the future end in XX.

[Fawriel]

I pity da foo.

I mean, oo.

[n00b]

This is rather interesting, Hopefully the chapters won't get as severe delays as the Nightmare Before Christmas game, that was supposed to ship a year ago.

[Black Ninja]

This one's a bit shorter, and in my opinion it's slightly less interesting. However, it's fairly important since it sets things up for the real plot to take place. It also introduces Radium. Enjoy.
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<b>Chapter 2: The foo who wished he didn’t live</b>

Unfooruman looked carefully over the plans Spotty had given him. He wasn’t convinced that Fooruman would be so easily defeated. “Are you sure you’ve done all the research you need to, Spotty?” He asked cautiously.
“Of course. I’m telling you, Fooruman’s greatest weakness is the fact that he doesn’t give his servants enough credit. If we take them out one by one, Fooruman will be helpless.”
“I don’t know about that – Fooruman is plenty powerful on his own, and –“ Unfooruman was interrupted mid-sentence when Radium walked into the room.
Unfooruman wasn’t happy about the sudden intrusion. “Spotty, must I remind you that your new servant is supposed to remain in his quarters unless given specific instructions to do otherwise?”
“Forgive me, sir,” Radium said nervously, “But I have news from my infiltration of the foos’ castle.”
“Ah, excellent. I hope the news is good?”
“Yes, master. Black Ninja finally pushed Sonyk over the edge, just as you predicted. If you don’t mind me saying so, I think the time to strike is nigh.” Radium said somewhat cautiously. He’d only been with the unfoos for a few weeks, and didn’t want to do anything to upset his new masters. He wasn’t necessarily there because he hated the foos or anything; he was just there because he hated being a commoner. He’d always strived for success, and he felt that eventually the unfoos would be the winners of the war.
“Actually, Radium, I do mind. If I recall correctly, I’m the one in charge here. Don’t forget your place.” Unfooruman looked at Radium somewhat angrily, but deep down he was very excited about this news. He’d been waiting for seven years for Sonyk to be fired, and at last it had happened. He knew that in all reality, Radium was correct about the time to strike being very near, but he would never admit it.
“There’s one more piece of information, master. Fooruman has constructed yet another castle, and I believe he intends to –“
“Never mind that, Radium. You’ve done well. Now, leave Spotty and I to discuss our plans.”
“Of course, master.” Radium saluted his superiors and walked away somewhat happily. He knew the time was near.
<center>**********</center>
Sonyk had never been so tired in his entire life. After being banished from Castle Foo, he knew he needed to put as much distance between himself and the castle as possible, for the castle’s residents wouldn’t give a moment’s hesitation before killing him. Honestly, he had no idea where he was going. He planned to just keep walking until he stumbled on a place where he could spend the night.
After walking for what seemed like an eternity, he found a small village. The village technically belonged to Fooruman, but it was far enough away from Castle Foo that Sonyk knew he’d be safe there for at least one night. He found a reasonably priced hotel, paid for one night, and crawled slowly into his newly rented room. He didn’t bother to look around – all he cared about was sleep. He crawled into the soft bed and slept better than he’d slept for years.
He woke up just in time to get a bite to eat at the hotel before they stopped serving breakfast. How wonderful it was to be able to eat a real meal! Even though the only food still left on the buffet table was cold cereal (Corn Flakes, actually), it was the best meal he could remember eating in his life.
After eating as much cereal as he could possibly stomach, he went outside, feeling he was ready for anything. He knew where he needed to go, but unfortunately for him it’d be difficult to get there. There was only one town that was not under the rule of either the foos or the unfoos: Fooville. Rent was expensive there, and there was a constant problem with vandalism, but in an odd way it was the safest place for him. After walking for a few minutes, he reached a road sign with directions to Fooville. Sadly, he never got to read the sign. He faintly heard the words, “Hey, that’s Sonyk,” but before he could respond to them, something heavy hit him in the back of the head. He fell over, unconscious.

[Coppertop]

Wow, nice beginning. And second chapter as well.

[Black Ninja]

Glad you like it.

As far as releasing the chapters, I might release a few more close together. After that, I'll probably release one or two each weekend.
EDIT: OMG CHAPTER 3. Enjoy.
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<b>Chapter 3: The Replacement</b>

Sonyk coughed a few times before opening his eyes. His head felt as though a huge plasma TV had been dropped on it – he could barely think from the pain. He forced himself to open his eyes and take a look at his surroundings. The first thing he noticed is that he was strapped onto a wobbly old chair. His restraints were tight, but not tight enough to cause any pain. He then began to look cautiously around the room – he had no idea how long he’d be there, but he wanted to be sure he knew his surroundings well enough that he’d be prepared for anything. He was in the back of a dark room that was apparently used for storage; there were boxes all over the floor, some stacked on top of each other. In the southeast (or what he thought was southeast) corner of the room, there were some stairs heading upward and a hatch on the ceiling. Shortly after turning his attention away from the hatch, he heard a loud CLANG. He immediately redirected his attention to the hatch, and found that it was opening. He could barely see in his badly lit surroundings, but it looked like someone was coming in. Whoever it was, they were about six feet tall and seemed to have long hair. “Hello, Sonyk. We’ve been watching you,” the dark figure said.
<center>**********</center>
Black Ninja had never seen Fooruman so mad in his entire life. “Black Ninja, if you can’t even install a lousy phpBB mod, what good are you?” He screamed.
“Master, the mod installation is nearly complete. Um…I think the reason I’m having so much trouble is because of all the mistakes that worthless Sonyk made.”
“I’m tired of not getting things done right, BN. I’m just sick and tired of it. That’s why I have a little surprise for you. Come in now, Elliot.”
Black Ninja watched as the entrance to Fooruman’s room opened slowly. Through the new opening came a short rabbit with a big gun. He closed the door behind him, walked to Fooruman’s side, and just stood there. He didn’t salute or anything – it made BN furious. “Master, this cretin doesn’t even salute as he enters the room! How shall I punish him for this impudence?”
“You won’t be punishing him. You’ll be training him. He’s Sonyk’s replacement,” Fooruman said with somewhat of a smile on his face. “I expect you to treat him like a brother. If he says one negative thing about you to me, you’ll be sleeping on the castle stairs tonight. Is that understood?”
[indent]“Certainly…master.” Black Ninja couldn’t believe it. After Sonyk’s terrible betrayal, he didn’t think Fooruman would ever take in another outsider.
Black Ninja’s thoughts were interrupted by Elliot. “Hey, BN. I must say, it’s an honor to finally meet you. I’m a huge fan of the work you and Fooruman do!”
Fooruman laughed. “You don’t need to speak with that kind of respect to Black Ninja, Elliot. BN, if you would, please excuse us. We have business to discuss.”
Black Ninja didn’t respond. He merely shrugged his shoulders, left the room, and headed towards his quarters.
<center>**********</center>
“Sonyk, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe you’ve recently lost your home.”
“Why should I tell you anything?”
The stranger laughed. They then reached into one of the boxes and pulled out a shotgun. They turned the safety off and pointed it straight into Sonyk’s face. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” the stranger said, “but it might be beneficial to you if you do.”

[Radium]

Yay, I'm a character!

[Coppertop]

:)!

[Sonyk]

I like my face :(

[Fawriel]

Good, good... but if I'm allowed to criticize a bit.. <your descriptive style of writing is a little.. slow. Like in "He immediately redirected his attention to the hatch, and found that it was opening". After a dramatic (? ) CLANG, that sounds awfully slow, which isn't really ideal since you normally don't react slowly to CLANGs while being locked up in a dark chamber..> ( Secret message ;( )

[Xobim]

When the story is done, make a movie out of it! It sounds real cool! :)

[Black Ninja]

There probably won't ever be a movie made out of this - if there is, it'll be a LONG way off. A lot of the stuff in this story, especially in the later chapters, would be near impossible to make look good in flash.

[Sonyk]

No, no. It would be very possible to make in flash. But our animator (name withheld because I like living) is too lazy and possesses such poor directorial ability that the story would be completely maimed. And because he only works with sprites and refuses to draw anything.

[n0]

w00. Story. Am I in it?

[Black Ninja]

OMG PLACEHOLDER POST.

Chapter 4 will go here by the end of the day.

[Black Ninja]

I double-posted just now. Oh well.

Chapter 4 and on are delayed for an undisclosed amount of time due to life sucking. Get over it.


EDIT: Ok, life has stopped sucking (at least for now). All I'll say on the subject is "we're back together". Interpret that however you like.

[Black Ninja]

Ugh, triple-post. Oh well, you guys will just have to live with it. Anyway, CHAPTER 4! However, before that, I'd like to make a public warning that this is where the story starts to feel a bit darker. If you are offended in any way by death, violence, or anything similar to that, be prepared for the fact that this story isn't going to be as lighthearted as you probably expect coming from me. That said, here's CHAPTER 4.

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<b>Chapter 4: The Nightmare Begins</b>

Sonyk told the stranger everything that had happened to him in the past couple days. The mysterious figure seemed strangely interested in the information they were hearing, and seemed perfectly happy to put the shotgun back in the crate they’d retrieved it from.
“So,” the stranger said slowly, apparently choosing their words carefully, “you are currently lacking a place in society where you can fit in?”
“Yes,” Sonyk replied, “but why do you even care? Who are you?”
“You’ll find out in time. Right now, I’m curious about something – would you happen to be interested in getting your revenge on Fooruman?”
“Of course I’m interested. He ruined my life.”
“Yes, yes…of course. Hmm…” after a brief pause, the stranger continued, “You wanted to know my name. I can’t tell you that, because I really don’t have a name. However, people around here have taken to calling me Faw.”
“What do you mean, ‘people around here’?”
Faw walked somewhat cautiously over to Sonyk and untied his restraints. “When I say ‘people around here,’ I mean members of the resistance.”
“Of course, the resistance! Fooruman’s been searching for you guys for YEARS, but I guess I always thought he was just paranoid.”
“While he actually IS paranoid, we do exist. We even planted a spy in the unfoos’ fortress long ago, but sadly his feeble mind was easily won over by their tricks. However, all that is beside the point. We need a leader, Sonyk, and I think you would be the perfect candidate. You have strength, a solid knowledge of our enemies, and a desire for vengeance.”
Sonyk stared blankly at Faw for an extended period of time before responding. “You want ME to be your leader? I kind of assumed you were the leader of the resistance.”
Faw let a laugh escape his mouth, and then became serious again. “No, I’m the 2nd-in-command here. When Spotty left to infiltrate the unfoos’ fortress, he left me in charge. However, I’m not really what you’d call leadership material. I’m more of a ‘run-and-gun’ kind of guy. Will you do it?”
Sonyk hesitated only for a moment before responding, “With pleasure.”
<center>**********</center>
Fooruman watched as Black Ninja walked out the door. As BN closed the door behind him, Fooruman turned to face Elliot. Fooruman didn’t give a moments’ hesitation before speaking. “Elliot, I’m concerned with the fact that we have no idea what the resistance is up to. Now, as you know, I brought you in for the sole purpose of locating and eliminating the threat of the resistance. Have you learned anything?”
Elliot opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again, apparently thinking about his wording. He then allowed himself to say what was on his mind. “Master, I have some extremely bad news. We’ve found what appears to be a bomb attached to one of the castle walls. I examined it closely, and it appears that it will detonate immediately if touched. What would your excellence advise I do?”
Fooruman didn’t hesitate for even a second before responding. “Get BN to remove it. You and I can move our headquarters to Cave Foo, at least until Castle Foo 2 is completely built.”
“Of course, sir,” Elliot responded. He saluted, turned sharply, and walked out of the room. “Oh, Black Ninja,” he called, “Fooruman has a job for you.”
<center>**********</center>
Sonyk was ecstatic. “So,” he said, “the bomb is already placed on their castle?”
“Yes,” Faw happily replied, “and it’s ready to detonate whenever you like. It will completely OBLITERATE Castle Foo.”
Sonyk couldn’t remember ever being so happy in his entire life. He was overjoyed knowing that vengeance would be his after only just being admitted into the resistance. He pictured clearly in his mind the destruction of the castle – he took great delight in imagining his torturers suffering a horrible death. A crooked smile came across his face before he spoke. Finally, he said the fateful words, “Do it.”
<center>**********</center>
Elliot and Fooruman walked with Black Ninja to the location where the bomb had been placed. “Fooruman and I are going out to take care of a couple loose ends,” Elliot said without hesitation. “Please try to be done by the time we get back.”
Black Ninja examined the bomb for a moment. He’d dealt with these kinds of bombs before, and knew that they were sensitive to pressure. However, he knew an easy trick to take care of the bomb without ending his own life. “No problem,” he said, “I’ll get it done ASAP.”
Fooruman grinned an evil grin. “Excellent. We’ll be back in about an hour.” Fooruman and Elliot then left the castle.
Black Ninja looked down at the bomb and knew that if it were to go off the entire castle would be turned into a parking lot. He took a deep breath, opened his box of tools, and got to work.
<center>**********</center>
Black Ninja looked once again at the bomb in front of him. After about 2 hours of hard work, he was surprised Fooruman and Elliot hadn’t returned. He dismissed the thought, though – all he had to do was cut one more wire and the bomb would be disarmed. He reached into his toolbox for his heaviest wire cutters, grasped them firmly in his hands, and moved towards the bomb.
Castle Foo exploded in a mushroom cloud and was gone in an instant. Nothing remained of Black Ninja but a puddle of warm blood, covered in a fine layer of ash. Black Ninja never cut the final wire – instead, the bomb cut through his body in a cloud of shrapnel and fire. As the wave of destruction flew through his broken body, his vision clouded and he felt no more.

[Me]

Hmmm, sort of evil to just leave you there, aren't I? I guess I'm more loyal to Fooruman than to you. Awesome story so far.

[Super_Jarno]

And i still think Foo Movies are better..

[Coppertop]

You killed yourself? That's a first! Anyway, good chapter, definitely worth the triple post.

[Fawriel]

Whoa.
I mean, yay!
I have the feeling that my role is actually evil or something like it, but yay!

[Coppertop]

You're probably the only good guy, lol. I guess it depends on who you are rooting for when you read this.

[Radium]

You killed yourself? That's a first!It usually is.

[Sonyk]

...Whoo, I get to be ultimate evil and stuff.

[Coppertop]

It usually is.

Lol. Very true.

[Black Ninja]

You're probably the only good guy, lol. I guess it depends on who you are rooting for when you read this.
Definitely. My hope is that people will find one person or group of people they can relate to in some way and that will become their favorite character. Are the foos evil and the unfoos good, or is it the opposite of that? It's all based on opinion, really.

[Fawriel]

Viva la resistance!

[Black Ninja]

Heh, glad people are getting so into it. ;p

Maybe someday I'll post the suspense story I had to write for English class. It kind of owns.

[Coppertop]

Awesome. Do it.

[Black Ninja]

PLACEHOLDER POST'D

By the end of the day, this will be replaced by chapter 5. It's currently being proofread by my team of slaves.

[Black Ninja]

Yeah, I double posted. Oh well. CHAPTER 5.
It's kind of short, but it accomplishes what I wanted. Once again, I'd like to warn that this isn't exactly a lighthearted story, and may even offend some people. That said, enjoy chapter 5.

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<b>Chapter 5: The Shot Heard 'Round The Internet</b>

Fooruman was happy with Cave Foo. He was quite confident that the exploding stairways would prevent any intruders from entering, and the seeker missile cannons were also a nice plus. It was impenetrable. However, as happy as he was with the castle, something bothered him. “Elliot,” he said into his 2-way intercom, “please meet me in the conference room.”
A reply was immediately heard out of the speaker. “Of course, Master,” said Elliot, “I’ll be there ASAP.”
Fooruman allowed himself a quick smile and then teleported to the conference room. It was a very simple room – it was at the very back of the cave, behind a wall of rock. The wall of rock would appear solid to anyone who touched it, and the only way to get through it was to speak a password at a certain point in the wall. Yet another security measure Fooruman had taken in building his new fortress.
Fooruman sat down on a huge chair at the end of a long table. Shortly after he sat down, he saw the rock wall open up, revealing Elliot. Fooruman looked on impatiently as Elliot walked into the room and sat down.
“Master, is there some kind of problem?”
“Yes, Elliot. As a matter of fact, there is. We’ve been preparing for years to fire the first shot in this war, and we just got owned by an unknown force. I take issue with the fact that we don’t even KNOW who carried out this first act of war. Now, Black Ninja was an acceptable loss, but Castle Foo wasn’t. This brings me to my point. Elliot, I want you to become my instrument of destruction against the resistance. Find them and eradicate them – show no mercy. If it’s a man, kill it. If it’s a woman or child, kill it. Poison their water supply, burn their crops – do it however you like. Just make sure it’s a slow, painful death.”
Elliot had never seen Fooruman this upset, and he knew there’d be no questioning his new orders. “Of course I’ll do it, master,” Elliot said confidently. He wasn’t really that confident in his success; he knew there would be almost no way he’d be able to defeat the likes of – no, he quickly dismissed the thought. “I’ll set out first thing tomorrow, master.”
“Excellent,” Fooruman said, “You’re dismissed.”
Elliot turned around and began to walk out the door. As he headed through the opening, he realized he hadn’t saluted – a terrible mistake. He couldn’t allow himself to make another slip-up like that. He looked behind him to make sure the wall of rock was sealed once more, and, satisfied, headed towards his quarters. It was time for him to do his daily maintenance on the Foo Products website, and he really wanted to just get it over with.
Once he got to his quarters, he sat down and focused on nothing but the job ahead of him. He typed in the URL like he always did – www.fooproducts.com. The page loaded instantly; the new fortress was equipped with an OC-1 line for blazing fast internet access. Elliot stared at the monitor and his jaw dropped. He let out a small gasp. Instead of the normal index.shtml that served as the Foo Products homepage, he saw 3 words in bold print: “Hacked By Chinese.” Elliot just stared at the screen and thought for quite a long time. Finally, he blinked once or twice and allowed himself to speak. “Oh, crap,” he said.

[Fawriel]

OUTRAGE!

[n00b]

Le Gaspe!
I totally did not see that plot twist coming.

[Black Ninja]

Glad if I actually managed to surprise people.

[Black Ninja]

Here it is - chapter 6. This is where the story finally takes the dark and depressing turn I wanted. Due to recent events (the war and whatnot), this chapter and the ones to come <b>MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE.</b> This isn't intended to be offensive, and I'm certainly not trying to make light of these terrible events. I'm just trying to write what I know. Death, loss, suffering, and pain. So here it is: chapter 6.

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<b>Chapter 6: The Intolerable Hax</b>

Unfooruman gazed in awe at the powerful weapon in front of him. He was amazed that Radium had actually been able to get him the nuclear missile he wanted. He couldn’t wait to finally execute his plan – it would show the world that the unfoos were just as powerful as anyone else in this war.
Unfooruman’s thoughts were interrupted by Radium. “I take it you’re pleased with the weapon I brought you,” he said happily.
Unfooruman allowed himself to smile. “Yes, Radium. Is the ‘drop-off vehicle’ ready for its maiden voyage?”
“Yes, master. Our targets won’t know what hit them.”
“Haha, excellent. We’ll make the drop as soon as we can get this bad boy loaded onto the plane. Dismissed, soldier.”
<center>**********</center>
Ragnarok had lived in Fooville for years, and he had been very happy there. There were very few war-related incidents there, and in general it was a peaceful, happy place to live. He’d always kind of worried that the war would eventually come to Fooville, but at the same time he was comforted by the fact that no dictator could be so heartless as to attack a town full of civilians.
As Ragnarok got in his car and started his usual drive to work at Foo$oft, he realized that in essence, his life (along with the lives of everyone in Fooville) was perfect.
<center>**********</center>
Spotty looked at the town below him. He’d never flown a plane before, but the neural implant Unfooruman had given him helped quite a bit. He had his hand ready on the missile release trigger, and had only to wait until he was above the center of the city. Unfooruman’s plan was working perfectly.
<center>**********</center>
Ragnarok walked through the doors of Foo$oft, went straight towards his cubicle, and sat down on his chair. He looked for a moment at the picture of his fiancé on his desktop, and missed her wholeheartedly. He couldn’t wait for the dinner they had planned later that night.
Removing all thoughts of love from his mind, he turned on his PC and got ready for the job at hand. However, before he could even make a single mouse click, he heard someone from a nearby cubicle screaming.
Trafton was running around through the cubicles like a madman. In itself, this was nothing too unusual. However, this time Trafton was yelling something quite disturbing. “There’s an unfoo aircraft headed towards the center of the city – it appears to be equipped with a nuclear missile!”
Ragnarok couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He didn’t know if it was true or not, but he was going to call his wife-to-be regardless of whether or not it was true. He picked up his cell phone and dialed the number as fast as he could. She didn’t answer – instead, he just got the answering machine. He quickly said what he knew mattered most: “I love you. I don’t know if you can even hear this or not, but I truly, honestly, love you, from the bottom of my hea-“
<center>**********</center>
Fooville exploded violently. Every single citizen of the one-peaceful town was instantly killed by the wave of destruction that followed. Spotty looked down happily at the destruction he’d caused. He picked up his walkie-talkie and told Unfooruman that the deed was done. He took one last look at the city and noticed that the Foo$oft headquarters seemed to have received the worst of the damage. He laughed maniacally, turned the plane around, and headed back towards base.

[Spotty]

I'm just such a bad person... Anyway you've managed to kill off a fair number of characters, don't forget to keep some alive for the sake of the story ;).

[Black Ninja]

Heh, I won't. ;p

Glad you finally read it, foo.

[Xobim]

Evil, dark, maniacal story. Really cool! 8D

[Coppertop]

I'm not sure who I'm cheering for yet, so I don't know whether this development is good or bad. Regardless. ... poor Ragnarok!

[Black Ninja]

...yeah, Rag got pwned.

[Black Ninja]

Seems like I'm destined to double-post for each chapter. Oh well. CHAPTER 7, darker and more depressing than ever. Enjoy.

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<B>Chapter 7: (-) Happens</B>

Sonyk felt the ground shake underneath him. He instantly hopped out of bed and looked out the only window in his new quarters. What he saw truly and completely astonished him.
Before Sonyk could even think, his door flew open. Through the new opening came a quite exasperated Faw. Faw stumbled over his own words for a while before calming down enough to say “Sonyk, Fooville’s been nuked.”
Sonyk just blinked. “I kind of assumed that when I looked out my window towards Fooville and found nothing but a cloud of fire and fallout.”
Faw frowned. “It’s not funny, Sonyk,” he said, “Over half the members of the resistance were there on spec. ops.”
Sonyk’s heart sank. He tried to speak, but was unable to think of anything to say.
Faw looked like he was starting to cry, but he quickly blinked it away and became serious again. “Sonyk, come with me. I think it’s time I showed you how we plan to end this war once and for all.”
<center>**********</center>
Elliot ran to the conference room of Cave Foo as quickly as he could. He spat out the password, waited impatiently for the door to open, ran through it, and sat down. He saw at the other end of the conference table a very happy Fooruman. “Master,” Elliot said, “Fooville has been nuked.”
Fooruman grinned. “Of this I am well aware, Elliot. But no matter – stuff happens. We have bigger concerns. It has come to my attention that there is a spy within these sacred walls. A spy in a perfect position to betray me and everything I stand for. Elliot, let us figure out who this spy is.”
Elliot was terrified. He pressed a button on his belt that would send an alert to the rebel base. He didn’t know how Fooruman had found out his secret, but he knew he’d be dead soon regardless.
Fooruman started walking slowly towards Elliot, talking on the way. “Elliot, mutiny is something I take very seriously. I’m sure you know what I mean.” Fooruman was now no more than 3 feet away from Elliot.
Elliot sucked up his courage and spoke. There was one thing he wanted to know before he died. “How did you know?”
Fooruman laughed a maniacal laugh. “Because you just told me, idiot.” Fooruman drew out a gun and fired two silver-tipped bullets into Elliot’s skull. Elliot took a step back and fell onto the hard ground, dead. Fooruman walked forward and fired a few more bullets into Elliot. “Pathetic human,” he said. “Hmm. If Fooville really has been nuked, then my ultimate victory is closer than ever. Perhaps I’ll go see the destruction of Fooville for myself.” Fooruman looked down at the carnage below him and laughed. He picked up Elliot’s belt and looked at the radio transmitter. He lifted it close to his mouth and spoke. “I know you’re listening. Your spy has several bullets lodged in his brain. You may have learned about my plans, but because of your stupid mistake I now know exactly where to find you.” He then threw the belt on the ground, shattering the radio attached to it. “I think it’s time to execute my plan,” he said.

[Coppertop]

I don't think I've seen anyone go through as many characters in seven chapters. :p

Excellent plot twist, I honestly never thought Elliot was a rebel. Unfoo, perhaps, but not rebel.

[Black Ninja]

Ever think it was odd that he "discovered" that rebel bomb when no one else did? ;p

[Coppertop]

I don't have that suspicious of a mind, lol.

[Black Ninja]

Heh, I *wish* I didn't have that suspicious of a mind. Anyway, I'll probably post chapter 8 soon.

[Coppertop]

Looking forward to it.

[Black Ninja]

Ok, here's chapter 8. It's slightly censored, as are all the chapters (I'm going to release the uncut story on Foo Products when it's done). Why is it censored? Because not only is it very depressing, it's kind of violent. A lot. This story really is not for the faint of heart. If it were a movie, it'd be rated R. You've all been warned. Anyway, enjoy it - chapter 8.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

<b>Chapter 8: The Final Sunset</b>

Fooruman appeared just outside of where the Foo$oft headquarters used to stand. He carefully examined the destruction around him. He was somewhat sad about the destruction of Fooville, but only because he was not the one who caused it. For years now, the people of Fooville hadn’t respected him – he had so wanted to be the one to bring them all to their end. He cleared his mind of these thoughts though – he had more important things to do. He started walking towards where the Foo Hotel used to stand. The hotel was completely obliterated now, but underneath the rubble he had a hidden underground bunker.
After a bit of walking, he got there. As he started moving rubble away, he heard a voice behind him – it sounded like it must be female. He turned around to face whoever was talking to him, and found a bloody woman lying on the ground, about 4 feet away from him.
“Please, tell Rag that,” she coughed up some blood, “tell him that I love him.”
Fooruman reached into the hidden pocket on the inside of his robes, drew out a pistol, cocked it, and shot her in the face. “Can’t have anyone finding out what I’m up to. Now, back to business.” He put the pistol back inside his robes and turned back towards the rubble in front of him.
<center>**********</center>
After about forty minutes of throwing rubble aside, Fooruman found what he was looking for. He noticed that the handle on the wooden hatch had been blown off and he’d be unable to open it that way, but that didn’t hinder him. He drew out his pistol and fired a shot right into the center of the wooden hatch. He put his hand in the new hole, lifted up, and saw the stairs leading to his underground bunker. He walked down and found everything exactly as he’d left it – all the supplies he’d need for his plan were there.
“Excellent,” he said, “now I’ve got all the supplies I need to cast my spell and turn the tides of this was in my favor.” He grabbed a few supplies, walked up the stairs, closed the hatch, and looked up at the sky. He then looked down at the supplies in his arms and laughed. He started mixing potions together. His time of victory was nigh. However, before he could add the final ingredient, he heard an all-too-familiar voice.
“Stop right there, Fooruman,” Unfooruman yelled.
Fooruman was furious. He drew out his pistol and turned to face his enemy. He quickly fired off two shots at Unfooruman. The first shot missed, but the second scraped the side of Unfooruman’s face. Fooruman laughed.
“You’re too late, Unfooruman. What I’m about to do can never be undone. All I need to do is drop this last ingredient in my concoction and the deed will be done.”
Unfooruman screamed in pain as Fooruman turned around and threw a vial of potion into his diabolical mixture. Fooruman backed away from his mixing pot and watched. The pot exploded in a cloud of green fire. Fooruman laughed harder and harder as the fire grew. Finally, a huge beam of green light shot out of the pot and went straight up. It hit the sky’s atmosphere and exploded, turning all the clouds pitch black and blocking off the sun entirely.
“My work here is done,” Fooruman said, “I leave you now to your fate, my worthy adversary.” Fooruman laughed as he teleported back to Cave Foo.
Unfooruman finally managed to get over the pain enough to look up at the sky. He knew he would probably never see sunlight again.

[Spotty]

I liked the first few chapters, now it just seems out of place. Iit's ok to have a little humour in the story :P. Some of the characters are starting to seem out of character. A little less death blood and guts would help out this story. Good job none the less.

[Black Ninja]

Very true Spoy. Let's hope I get in less of a dark mood so I can actually write something a bit happy-feeling.

[Radium]

Time for me to transform into RADDYCRITIC!

Spoy is right about characters seeming out of character. Moreso, as the story progressed they all seemed to develop similar personalities. The leaders' goal is simply to kill everyone else and the servants' goal is to help their leader kill everyone else. It's difficult to distinguish who's on who's side. None of the characters have their own motives and methods, and you are introducing characters and subsequently killing them so fast that their loss has no effect. It's like how Star Trek always had characters you've never seen before who would die before the end of the episode.

[Black Ninja]

About not knowing who's on who's side: intended.

The rest: you're right. ;p

[Black Ninja]

Here I go double-posting again for the new chapter. Oh well. Chapter 9. It's a somewhat important chapter - you might want to read it over more than once, as it contains a lot of subtle hints about something very big coming up. Anyway, here's chapter 9. You'll be happy to know it's probably only rated PG-13. Or maybe TV-14.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

<b>Chapter 9: Acts of Desperation</b>
Sonyk looked out his window in terror. He didn’t know what the meaning of the giant green flame he saw was, but he knew it couldn’t be good. Just as he began to turn around to go get Faw, he saw a huge beam of light erupt out of the smoke and hit the atmosphere with a bang. The clouds all changed to a charred black color, blocking out the noon sun. Sonyk wasn’t afraid of the dark or anything, but he was truly afraid of this new darkness. He knew that unless whoever caused this was stopped, he’d probably never see the light of day again.
Sonyk’s thoughts were interrupted when his window exploded. Several shards of glass scraped him, but nothing serious. He looked on the ground in front of him and saw a hologram projector. He knelt down and powered it on before taking a step back to watch. What he saw truly astonished him.
A holographic image of Unfooruman appeared in front of him. Sonyk instinctively took a step back, even though he knew it was just a hologram and couldn’t hurt him.
“Hello,” the holographic Unfooruman said, “I hate to have to contact you, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Yes, I know what you’re thinking – we know and have known for quite some time where you guys are hiding out, and we couldn’t care less. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. My worst fears have been realized – Fooruman has destroyed the atmosphere. Not only has this blocked off all natural light, but if something isn’t done soon, the atmosphere will depressurize and none of us will even have a chance at survival. You’re probably wondering why your enemy is contacting you – that’s reasonable. I’d like to formally request that we form an alliance, at least temporarily. Fooruman must be stopped; earth must be saved. I will be expecting an answer soon,” the holographic Unfooruman paused, “One of your resistance members will know how to contact me. Program terminate.”
The holographic projector shut down and the image of Unfooruman disappeared. Sonyk stood still for a while, in shock. He then looked down at his arms and noticed he was bleeding. “Oh, crap,” he said. He walked shakily over to his bed, fell down, and passed out.
When he woke up, Faw was standing next to him. “Sonyk, I’m glad you’re all right. I hate to say it, but you and I are the only resistance members still alive. I sent a huge squad to try and take Fooruman down, and they were eliminated with extreme prejudice. I’m sorry to say I think we might need to take Unfooruman up on his offer.”
Sonyk blinked. “How did you know about that?” Sonyk thought he saw Faw’s eyes widen for a moment.
“I saw the hologram projector on the floor and was curious. Now, Sonyk, listen very carefully. I need you to promise me that we’re in this together. No matter what you hear or see, I need to know you’ve got my back. Defeating Fooruman would be the final step we’d need to take to ensure peace. Isn’t that worth fighting for? Isn’t that worth dieing for?”
Sonyk instantly stood up and faced Faw. “Let’s do it,” he said without hesitation.

[Fawriel]

Subtle hint...?

Sonyk is The One! D=

[Sonyk]

...wow, now this story is just getting creepy. Particularly the destruction of air, and the slowly deteriorating planet.

[Coppertop]

Faw is Unfooruman's contact? I assume, anyway, from the hints.

[Fawriel]

Noooo.
I'm Morpheus! \o/

[n00b]

So is Unfooruman Trinity?

[Xobim]

Where's Zion then?

[NovaStar]

Where;s me then? XD

[Black Ninja]

Ok, everyone, here it is: the cliffhanger ending of Foo Story 1. Foo Story 2 is, obviously, in the near future. Also, you'll soon be able to download different versions of the story on Foo Products: the uncensored (very depressing and gory) version that I didn't cut at all, this version, and the version with the alternate ending. Now, at long last, here it is: the final chapter of Foo Story 1.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

<b>Chapter 10: The Cliffhanger Ending</b>
“Ok,” Unfooruman said, “are you all very clear on what the plan is? We’re only going to have one shot at this. The damage Fooruman did to the sky is unfixable – it will be like that forever. However, if we can stop Fooruman, the inhabitants of earth can live in peace during their final years.”
“I’m ready,” said Faw. He looked around the conference room of the unfoo headquarters. He couldn’t believe he was standing there – and yet he knew he’d probably never see it again.
“Let’s do this,” Sonyk paused, “Let’s end Fooruman’s rein of terror. Let’s make him pay for what he’s done to this planet.”
Spotty laughed. “Calm down, foo. We don’t even have our weapons yet.”
“Oh, right,” Faw said, “I brought a crate of our most powerful powder-based projectile weapons. Follow me, please.”
<center>**********</center>
Fooruman laughed menacingly as he looked up at the sky. He was standing on top of the highest spire of his new castle, and he was very proud of the havoc he’d wreaked. “I guess I’ve finally won,” he thought. “I’m surprised it was so easy.”
Fooruman looked down. In the darkness, he could scarcely see four shadows moving ever-closer to his castle. He wasn’t surprised at all – he figured there’d be some resistance. He began to summon the strength needed to cast a spell and instantly kill them all. However, he didn’t get a chance to finish – a rocket-propelled grenade shot straight towards him and decimated the spire he was standing on. He fell down inside the castle and coughed up some blood as he landed. “Oh,” he said, “so they want to play dirty?”
The door exploded in front of him and through it came a very angry Unfooruman. “Fooruman,” Unfooruman screamed, “it’s go time!”
Fooruman laughed. “You think you can defeat me here and now? I derive my power from the darkness! This is MY WORLD.” Fooruman raised his arms into the air. A huge wave of lightning erupted from his fingers, exploding on the ceiling. Fooruman then flung his arms in the direction of Unfooruman with all his might. A massive bolt of lightning struck Unfooruman in the face. Nothing remained of Unfooruman but a chunk of brains on the floor, smothered in a puddle of blood.
Spotty, Sonyk, and Faw all ran through the door at the same time, firing everything they had at Fooruman. As much as they fired, the shots simply hit him and bounced off, landing on the cold, hard ground.
Fooruman laughed. “I am not going to fight you. I wouldn’t want to deprive you all of your slow, painful deaths once the earth’s atmosphere disintegrates. I leave you now to your fates.” Fooruman then exploded and was gone.
Faw threw his weapon on the ground and dropped to his knees. “Guys,” he said, “I think our troubles are just beginning.”

<B><center>TO BE CONTINUED</center></B>

[Coppertop]

Dun dun dun DUNNNN!

Killing Unfooruman was oddly easy, I think.

[Black Ninja]

Hey, you'd die too if you got blasted in the face by a bolt of supercharged lightning.

EDIT: A chapter of Foo Story 2 will probably be posted by the end of the week. I've already finished it, but I want to release it at some steady interval.

[Coppertop]

Good point.

[Radium]

Wow. You know, killing off every main character isn't a great way to set up a sequel =/

[Black Ninja]

Heh, the idea of these stories is to set up for a quite different feel to the Foo universe - sort of like an alternate ending, except with the entire story. My new foo level series is going to take place shortly after Foo Story 2.

[cooba]

Actually, this could use a prequel if anything. I found it quite strange on how the foo/unfoo war became so tense, and why has BN changed into a so bitter and evil character.

[Black Ninja]

There will probably be a prequel, actually. I'm also planning to release 2 "Foo Products timelines," one explaining the events from the perspective of this story, and one explaining the events how the movies/races show them.

[Coppertop]

So two alternate storylines?