n00b
Feb 1, 2008, 03:30 PM
I've decided as an extremely dumb way to pass they time to completely improv a Jazz Jackrabbit fanfic. I honestly have no idea how this will turn out but I hope it will be laughably bad.
Chipper Twittleshell was a young hopeful full of hope and fullness. He was a pleasant sort of fellow who hoped his new job would lead to a prosperous career. Chipper had just been accepted as new part-time secretary for the Prantek Enterprises main office building place. Or something. Chipper wasn't really sure what it was. He entered the office and set about his task which as secretary meant walking around doing nothing. The boss had said this would be entirely different from other secretary jobs. As Mr. Twittershell went about his work he noticed practically every other employee was doing the same thing. He wondered how Prantek got anything done. Chipper began noticing rumblings in the ground as he walked but paid it no mind. He did however ask a coworker about the rumblings, and found the rude silence to be most off putting. Had Chipper been more aware of his coworkers he would have known that Francis J. Hopplestump was a mute.
Usually more friendly, Mr. Hopplestump, or "Hoppy" as he was referred to by his coworkers wasn't an actual mute but someone who was mute by choice. He did speak on choice occasions although these were little more than extremely short quotations. Never the less, Francis was quite the personality-filled chap as his body language was easy to read. Well, it would have been had it not been for a rather disturbing occurrence that had happened earlier that day. Francis had met a new employee, Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit. This bizarre new coworker behaved more like an animatronic mechanization than a regular person. Further troubling the silent employee resources lead was the fact that after Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit's appearance, strange tremors began happening around the workplace. This bugged Francis, however perhaps not as much as it bugged his reptilian superior Al Vend Lehs.
Now, Al was a foreign benefactor, or at least thats the way he presented himself. The truth was far more sinister than that, and although he had changed his identity entirely when moving to the new planet he was still nervous that some one had found out his identity. His deeply troubled past ensued him a spot as a lead character in a japanese rpg, but he decided to become a CEO of an incredibly useless company instead. Prantek Enterprises was created by an eccentric business man soley so he could have the largest office complex on the planet. The company advertised itself a lot and was a household name. What the company actually did was unknown by the populace and largely unquestioned. Al knew what the company did. It did nothing. At the time of agreeing with a collegue he was sure that the decision that was made was the right one. However upon being introduced to Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit, he wasn't so sure. The blue furred inventor of the abomination assured Al that the android would do his job properly. The tremors Al felt proved otherwise. When the building's imminent destruction finally happened, Al sat at his desk quietly and died while being completely uninterested by that fact.
Twittershell found it odd that no one else seemed to notice the falling ceilings and cracks in the floor at first. He quickly heeded it no mind and started making way towards an exit. Chip wasn't totally sure where an exit was, but he hoped he would find one if he retraced his steps a decision he would later find impossible. To make matters worse a being known as Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit wanted Chipper dead. Why, Chipper didn't know, all he knew was that instead of escaping he was now stuck in a fist fight with his coworker. After a few blows to the neck, Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit froze in his spot. Not taking time to consider why, Chipper ran towards an opening in the floor and jumped into it. By his reasoning, he was on ground level and quickly rolled towards another opening in a wall before this presumption was changed. Chip had luckily made it safely out and went home where he found that he had left an uneaten pack of fruit by the foot at the table. Score.
Shortly after 2:00 Chipper Twittleshell was found dead in the ruins of what was once Prantek Enterprises. The rabbit's body was found with countless others when a rogue turtle android, Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit, destroyed the entire Prantek Enterpises office complex instead of merely fixing the broken coffee machines as was intended. The sole survivor of the incident was Francis, who later went to planet Diamondus to live in hiding. While there he met a young lizard named Pragnus Lopear. Pragnus was a rather eccentric chap who was a method actor. He constantly lived life as if he was a tall block slowly descending leading to the eventual end of an empire. Francis found this rather silly, however their first meeting went rather untroubling. Pragnus said "Hello"
End
Chipper Twittleshell was a young hopeful full of hope and fullness. He was a pleasant sort of fellow who hoped his new job would lead to a prosperous career. Chipper had just been accepted as new part-time secretary for the Prantek Enterprises main office building place. Or something. Chipper wasn't really sure what it was. He entered the office and set about his task which as secretary meant walking around doing nothing. The boss had said this would be entirely different from other secretary jobs. As Mr. Twittershell went about his work he noticed practically every other employee was doing the same thing. He wondered how Prantek got anything done. Chipper began noticing rumblings in the ground as he walked but paid it no mind. He did however ask a coworker about the rumblings, and found the rude silence to be most off putting. Had Chipper been more aware of his coworkers he would have known that Francis J. Hopplestump was a mute.
Usually more friendly, Mr. Hopplestump, or "Hoppy" as he was referred to by his coworkers wasn't an actual mute but someone who was mute by choice. He did speak on choice occasions although these were little more than extremely short quotations. Never the less, Francis was quite the personality-filled chap as his body language was easy to read. Well, it would have been had it not been for a rather disturbing occurrence that had happened earlier that day. Francis had met a new employee, Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit. This bizarre new coworker behaved more like an animatronic mechanization than a regular person. Further troubling the silent employee resources lead was the fact that after Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit's appearance, strange tremors began happening around the workplace. This bugged Francis, however perhaps not as much as it bugged his reptilian superior Al Vend Lehs.
Now, Al was a foreign benefactor, or at least thats the way he presented himself. The truth was far more sinister than that, and although he had changed his identity entirely when moving to the new planet he was still nervous that some one had found out his identity. His deeply troubled past ensued him a spot as a lead character in a japanese rpg, but he decided to become a CEO of an incredibly useless company instead. Prantek Enterprises was created by an eccentric business man soley so he could have the largest office complex on the planet. The company advertised itself a lot and was a household name. What the company actually did was unknown by the populace and largely unquestioned. Al knew what the company did. It did nothing. At the time of agreeing with a collegue he was sure that the decision that was made was the right one. However upon being introduced to Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit, he wasn't so sure. The blue furred inventor of the abomination assured Al that the android would do his job properly. The tremors Al felt proved otherwise. When the building's imminent destruction finally happened, Al sat at his desk quietly and died while being completely uninterested by that fact.
Twittershell found it odd that no one else seemed to notice the falling ceilings and cracks in the floor at first. He quickly heeded it no mind and started making way towards an exit. Chip wasn't totally sure where an exit was, but he hoped he would find one if he retraced his steps a decision he would later find impossible. To make matters worse a being known as Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit wanted Chipper dead. Why, Chipper didn't know, all he knew was that instead of escaping he was now stuck in a fist fight with his coworker. After a few blows to the neck, Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit froze in his spot. Not taking time to consider why, Chipper ran towards an opening in the floor and jumped into it. By his reasoning, he was on ground level and quickly rolled towards another opening in a wall before this presumption was changed. Chip had luckily made it safely out and went home where he found that he had left an uneaten pack of fruit by the foot at the table. Score.
Shortly after 2:00 Chipper Twittleshell was found dead in the ruins of what was once Prantek Enterprises. The rabbit's body was found with countless others when a rogue turtle android, Snippledejipplewazz Spronkatonkrankrabbit, destroyed the entire Prantek Enterpises office complex instead of merely fixing the broken coffee machines as was intended. The sole survivor of the incident was Francis, who later went to planet Diamondus to live in hiding. While there he met a young lizard named Pragnus Lopear. Pragnus was a rather eccentric chap who was a method actor. He constantly lived life as if he was a tall block slowly descending leading to the eventual end of an empire. Francis found this rather silly, however their first meeting went rather untroubling. Pragnus said "Hello"
End