Tales of text and infinate randomness

[Puffie40]

Since ToU is idle, I thought I would create an adventure simular to the first topic.

Rules of ToU apply here. For convenience, Here is a copy (Slightly modified).

<b>Only the author narrates. It’s his story. You just give commands. No using bold, either. It makes it confusing.</b>
<i>GOOD:</i> Walk through the green door.
<i>BAD:</i> <b>Chris walks through the green door.</b>

<b>No deciding the consequences to actions. My story. Not yours.</b>
<i>GOOD:</i> Open the box.
<i>BAD:</i> Open the box and find a gun.

<b>No if/then statements or macros. They make you miss important stuff. Making creative macros to solve puzzles with mass trial and error is cheating.</b>
<i>GOOD:</i> Is the key in the door?
<i>BAD:</i> If there’s a key in the door, open it. Otherwise, find a key then open it.

You can, however, state multiple commands
I.E.: Take the sword and head west. Ask Rob to search the room.

<b>No changing the point of view. It changes on its own. </b>
<i>GOOD:</i> I am not changing the point of view!
<i>BAD:</i> Change POV to someone else!

<b>No doing stuff just to (-) me off. </b>
<i>GOOD:</i> Everyone do something or other logical.
<i>BAD:</i> Everyone line up from north to south.

Got it? Good! Let's start!



You are standing in the middle of a dark room. You are unsure of your location and who you are. feeling around the infinate blackness, knocking over stuff as you go, you find a knob on the wall and a string dangling from the ceiling near the knob.

[HorvatM]

Pull the string.

[Troglobite]

Sit in a corner and cry.

[Puffie40]

>Pull the string.

You pull the string. The room floods with light. you are in a medium-sized room filled with average home stuff. looking at the stuff you knocked over, you find that you smashed a vase filled with flowers. upon closer inspection, you find the vase was a priceless Ancient vase worth about 130,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars. the shock of this causes you to sit in a corner and cry.

There is a knob below a hammer here.
There is a Smashed Vase here
There is a pile of Flowers here
There is a Book here

there are exits to the NORTH and EAST

[Nonomu198]

(There is a pile of flowers*)

Read book! Books are good for you!

[Puffie40]

>Read book! Books are good for you!

The book is labeled "Browning's Power Transmission Solutions" and is a catalog 3255 pages thick. You start at page 1 and after learning of Browning's full selection of sprockets, pullys and belts, you fall asleep before getting to the the gearboxes. You wake up drooling on the book, making it complely soggy.

You have learned how to be mechanically boring, and that reading CAN be bad for you.

There is a Knob below a hammer here.
There is a Smashed Vase here
There is a pile of Flowers here
There is a soggy Book here

there are exits to the NORTH and EAST

Note the objects capible of being manipulated are capitalized

[Bobby aka Dizzy]

Fix smashed vase.

[Troglobite]

Use the hammer to pulverize the book.

[Puffie40]

>Fix smashed vase.

It would be best to find some glue first

>Use the hammer to pulverize the book.

You attempt to take the hammer off the wall, but it seems to be attached to a mechanism inside the wall, only allowing it to swing. It seems the knob triggers the mechanism, as turning the knob does nothing, but pushing it give you a major concussion.

doing some post-witless thinking, you put the book under the hammer and push the knob. the book is now wood pulp!

There is a Knob below a hammer here.
There is a Smashed Vase here
There is a pile of Flowers here
There is some Wood Pulp here

there are exits to the NORTH and EAST

[Nonomu198]

Head north, perheps there is some glue in there.

[Troglobite]

Use wood pulp as glue

[Puffie40]

>Use wood pulp as glue

Try as you might, you can't get the pieces to stick. Maybe the book was not made of that stamp paper with the glue on it D=

>Head north

You enter a room filled with boarded-up windows. The floor is covered with broken glass, and the furniture is battered, thrown around and ransacked. You eagerly start searching through the stuff hoping to find somthing, but only find some screws. A rabbit with a shotgun steps out of a corner looking at you quizzically. "So you are awake" he says "Took long enough, and what the hell are ya doin, searching everything like you are in a text adventure?"

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a selection of Screws here
There is a Spent shotgun shell here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH

[Ae]

Take the screws and the shotgun shell, and ask the rabbit where you are

[Nonomu198]

It's just a rabbit, right? Rabbits can't use shotguns. Rabbits are too small and lacktrigger fingers!

Take the rabbit's shotgun!

[Puffie40]

>Take the screws and the shotgun shell

You have taken the Screws and Spent shotgun shell

>Ask the rabbit where you are

"So, uh, where the heck am I?" you ask the rabbit. He scratches his chin. "Well, You are in a abandoned farmhouse about 25 miles from the nearest town. We found you to the North, near a fence, smoldering."

>Take the rabbit's shotgun!

You reach for the rabbit's shotgun, but he racks in a shell. "Hey! Get your own!"

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell

There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH

[Troglobite]

Drop to your hands and knees and bark like a dog.

[Bobby aka Dizzy]

Eat loose screws.

[Puffie40]

>Drop to your hands and knees and bark like a dog.

After thinking of this, you decide that acting like a dog in front of a rabbit with a loaded shotgun is not the best way to impress people, much less survive

>Eat loose screws.

You take the yummiest looking screw, (Mmmmmmm, zinc plating!) flick it into the air and gulp it down. The rabbit appears none too impressed with your antic - It's more of a blank stare as if he's pondering how on earth you have the intelligence to breathe.

The rabbit sighs. "How this doofus survived past the black forest; I do not know..."

Oh well, you at least have taken your annual supply of metals!

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell

There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH

[Troglobite]

Use the remaining screws to repair the broken chair.

[NovaStar]

Take a leg of the broken chair

[Puffie40]

>Politely ask the rabbit if he could lend you his shotgun

"Can I please borrow your shotgun?" you ask. The rabbit raises a eyebrow "Why the hell are you so interested in my shotgun? Ask me nicely and I might tag along, you dumb-" "Okay, okay, I get the point!" you say.

>Use the remaining screws to repair the broken chair

The chair looks like it went though a wood chipper. You look at your handful o' screws and decide that no amount of screws would repair the chair.

The rabbit notices you looking at the chair. "That was sweet. I was shooting at zombies, and the chair got in the way. The zombie chair did not know what hit it!"

>Take a leg of the broken chair

You take a 6-inch long section of the chair leg. That's the longest part of the leg left. It also smells funny.

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH

[Troglobite]

Sprint North as fast as physically possible.

[Puffie40]

>Sprint North as fast as physically possible
You break into a run and run headfirst into the closed (and locked) door. The rabbit starts laughing.

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

There are exits to the NORTH (Locked) and SOUTH

[Nonomu198]

Look for treasure under the debris.

[Puffie40]

>Ask the rabbit why is the door locked

"Err, why is the door locked?" you ask, Shaking the stars off "didn't the chair give it away? There is a hoard of ZOMBIE CHAIRS outside that door." From that explaination, you guess he won't open it for you... Yet.

>Look for treasure under the debris.

"WHERE'S THE SHINEY?!?" You yell as you dive into the pile of debris. Unfortuately, the SHINEY slept in, and you did not find it.

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

There are exits to the NORTH (Locked) and SOUTH

HINT Guys: Why don't you talk to the rabbit some more. He seems to know the area and the HISTORY.

[Nonomu198]

Ask the rabbit (incidentally!) what he knows of the vace ,without mentioning you know it's location.

[Troglobite]

Tell the rabbit that there's a stuck knob in the room you came from, and ask him if he'd mind helping you press it in.

[Ae]

Mention that you happen to have empty slots in your party

[Puffie40]

>Mention that you happen to have empty slots in your party

"Hey, you looking to form a team?" "Well, seeing you have the intelligence of a suicidal bilge rat, and defying any logic that anyone, including me, had, I think I will!"

Peter Rabbit has joined the party!

"Now then," Peter says "What shall we do?"


>Tell the rabbit that there's a stuck knob in the room you came from, and ask him if he'd mind helping you press it in.

"Well, there is a knob in the other room that is stuck. Do you want to help me push it in?" you ask.

"Only if YOU stand under the hammer"


>Ask the rabbit what he knows of the vase ,without mentioning you know it's location.

"Say, I saw a vase somewhere in the other room. I was wondering what you knew about it?"

Peter cocks his head "Is this anything to do with the sobbing I heard several minutes ago?"

"Uhhhhh, maybe?"

"Well, that vase was sent eons ago by aliens to the center of the earth. in the Pre-Cambrian era, the great Xai-Ten'gai, the great Chinese miner, sacrificed his life to bring it to the surface, where forces, good and evil, have fought for it over the past 15 centuries. It is said to grant wishes, but to this day, no one knows it's true power."

"You made that up."

"True, but you were the one to ask about a useless piece of glass."

There is a broken chair here
There is a pile of Debris here
There is a Rabbit with a Shotgun here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

There are exits to the NORTH (Locked) and SOUTH

[Ae]

wield the chair leg and venture south

[Puffie40]

>wield the chair leg

You pull out the chair leg. "BEHOLD! EXCALICHAIR!"

>venture south

you are in a medium-sized room filled with average home stuff.

There is a Knob below a hammer here.
There is a Smashed Vase here
There is a pile of Flowers here
There is some Wood Pulp here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

there are exits to the NORTH and EAST

[Troglobite]

Wield the pile of flowers and venture east.

[Puffie40]

>wield the flowers

You put the fly-attracting chair leg back into the invintory and pick up the flowers "BEHOLD! EXCALIBELLIS!"

"Are you aways this overenthusiastic?" Peter asks

>venture east

You enter what was a kitchen. The cooking stove has be pulled out, and a wood furnace put in it's place. various utencils are here, and a supply of cleaning products

A Badger and another rabbit are here. "Ah, he awake!" The Badger exclaims. Both both look at you, your teammate and your "Weapon", unsure if you are preparing to start a quest or ask them for a date.

There is some Glue here
There is a Bottle of windex here
There is a Mushroom here
There is a Knife here
There is a Soup spoon here
There is a Can here
There is a Badger here
There is a Rabbit here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

there are exits to the WEST and SOUTH

[Nonomu198]

Get some glue on the funny-smelling chair leg.

[Troglobite]

Ask the badger out on a date.

[Puffie40]

>Eat the mushroom

You take a bite from the mushroom, and the rabbit turns green, the badger has a extremly long neck and breathes fire, and Peter's shotgun starts to look attractive.

Shroom's effect: 3 posts

>Get some glue on the funny-smelling chair leg.

You grab the glue and bring it near the chair leg, but the leg starts to talk to you "I'll be sticky if you do that!

A little freaked out, you set the glue down.

>Ask the badger out on a date.

You approch the fire-breathing-graffe-badger and slur out "You look reallllll purdy, man. Want to do sssssomthing tonight?" His beauty when he speaks "No" knocks you over.

Your mouth hurts. I wonder why...

There is some Glue here
There is a shimmering Bottle of windex here
There is a Mushroom with shades here
There is a Knife with sexy lips here
There is a huge Soup spoon here
There is a smiling Can here
There is a fire-breathing-graffe-Badger here
There is a green Rabbit here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Attractive shotgun, shotgun shells, big eyes)

there are exits to the WEST and SOUTH

[Ae]

Take the spoon and the windex, then venture west. Let them all know they can follow you if they are interested in saving the world

[Troglobite]

What exactly is the main character anyway? A rabbit? A person? Or some other random creature?

[Puffie40]

>Look at yourself

You seem to remember that you were a lynx, but you see yourself as a grey housecat with gibbon arms.

>Let them all know they can follow you if they are interested in saving the world

"I'm going to SAVE THE WORLD! That world that is outside right now with two burly bad guys beating it's head with crowbars! I want you to JOIN ME!"

The two laugh at you. "That isn't very nice to do that with the hero!" you say, dodging the imaginary bursts of fire from the badger as the flames threaten to singe your hair. "At least let's save the cheese!"

The badger says "Offer again when you are not stoned!"

>Take the spoon and the windex

You have taken the giant spoon (Hey! It fills the room, yet is light as a feather!) And the Shimmering Windex.

>Throw the can at the fire-breathing badger, screaming "Be gone, demon!"

*Some events that are too graphic and "Trippy" to describe later...*

You are lying in a small room with a dirt floor. You head hurts, there are several boards on top of you and the sun is winking at you through the patchy roof. You get up and dust yourself off. You hear some voices. "Wow. I didn't know you can swing that hard!" "Yeah considering those floorboard are solid!" "Say, I didn't know this house had a basement in it?" " Think the old farmer's loot would be there, Peter?" "Maybe"

The shelves are talking gibberish at you. The jars of ancient preserves are making funny faces at you. This is the worst Trip ever!

There are some Mocking Jars here
There is a grinning box here
There are some vampiric floorboards here
There is a pile of angry magazines here

MUSHROOM'S EFFECT: 2 POSTS

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Attractive shotgun, shotgun shells, big eyes) (Not in this location)

There is a caved in stairway to the WEST, and a hole UP

[Ae]

Take the Mocking Jars, the Grinning Box, the Vampiric Floorboards, and the Angry Magazines, then venture UP

[Troglobite]

Throw everything in your inventory into the air like confetti, shouting, "Happy New Year!"

[Puffie40]

Just finished three exams in a row. I'm ready for a break!

>Take Everthing

What are you, a Klepomaniac?

>venture UP

You take a look at the colored and spinning hole in the cieling. I think you are going to need something to help you up there.

>Throw everything in your inventory into the air like confetti, shouting, "Happy New Year!"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" You scream as you throw your inventory into the air. The spent shotgun shell grows teeth and latches on your nose. The flowers land on the ground and start dancing. The bottle of Windex starts shimmering again before it konks you on the head. The screws turn into lawn darts and one goes through your ear. the funny-smelling chair leg starts singing "I'S THE BUY WHO BUILDS ZE BOAT!" as it lands on a gibbering shelf, and the spoon starts to fill the room as it goes up in the air. It hits you square in the head, knocking you down.

Through the haze of pain, you hear "Why the hell did you throw that toolbox, Rob?!" "He's throwing his crap around, and I just though knocking some sence into him would make him snap out of it!"

There is a hovering Toolbox here
There is a Gigantic spoon here
There is a Funny-smelling singing chair leg here
There is a selection of Screw-darts here
There are some dancing flowers here
There is a Spent Shotgun Shell with teeth here
There are some Mocking Jars here
There is a grinning box here
There are some vampiric floorboards here
There is a pile of angry magazines here
There is a shimmering bottle of Windex here

MUSHROOM'S EFFECT: 1 POSTS

INVENTORY

*NOTHING*

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Attractive shotgun, shotgun shells, big eyes) (Not in this location)

There is a caved in stairway to the WEST, and a hole UP

[Troglobite]

Stand up and give a lecture on the finer points of etiquette.

[Ae]

Sit around and wait until the mushrooms effect wears off so you can be more productive in saving the world

[Nonomu198]

Dance with the flowers. DANCE!

[Puffie40]

>Dance with the flowers.

With the funny-smelling chairleg singing, you and the flowers start dancing. the dancing is so good so energetic that you barely notice the effects fading...

You are now back in reality. You have a headache, a spent shotgun shell on your nose, and covered in flowers.

"Uh, Guys?" You call up through the hole

"Yes?" Peter says as he peeks into the hole, which is formed into your outline.

"If I don't breathe a word about the wierd stuff, Are you willing to do the same?"

"We've already shrugged it off, bud."

"Cool." You say, releived.

Now able to think, you look at the hole UP. You might be able to make somthing if the toolbox has anything in it...


There is a Toolbox here
There is a Kitchen spoon here
There is a Funny-smelling chair leg here
There is a selection of Screws here
There are some flowers here
There is a Spent Shotgun Shell here
There are some Jars here
There is a wooden crate here
There are some floorboards here
There is a pile of magazines here
There is a bottle of Windex here

INVENTORY

*NOTHING* (Pick up stuff previously in Inventory? Y/N)

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells) (Not in this location)

There is a caved in stairway to the WEST, and a hole UP

[Nonomu198]

Pick up stuff previously in Inventory? Y

[Troglobite]

Ask the others to join your party.

[Puffie40]

(Y/N Question is automatic)

>Ask the others to join your party.

"Uhhh, hey! Want to join my party?" You call up through the hole. The badger sticks his head through. "hey, someone definitely got some wires crossed with their procedures! Get up here to meet the crew!"

"So how do I get up?" you ask

"We can't really help you down there at the moment... Well, I "gave" you our toolbox. Getting out of the hole should be easy with that."

Judging from what the badger said, you should be able to combine some stuff to get up...

There is a Toolbox here
There are some Jars here
There is a wooden crate here
There are some floorboards here
There is a pile of magazines here

INVENTORY
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells) (Not in this location)

There is a caved in stairway to the WEST, and a hole UP

[Nonomu198]

Take the toolbox, look what's in it.

[Puffie40]

>Take the toolbox, look what's in it.

You open the toolbox and peek inside. Amidst the other tools, a Screwdriver that fits your Selection of Screws is the most useful at the moment.

There are some Jars here
There is a wooden crate here
There are some floorboards here
There is a pile of magazines here

INVENTORY
-Toolbox
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells) (Not in this location)

There is a caved in stairway to the WEST, and a hole UP

[Troglobite]

Use screws to attach the floorboards to the wooden crate to build something you can stand on to get out.

[Puffie40]

>Use screws to attach the floorboards to the wooden crate to build something you can stand on to get out.

Using the crate, you create a ladder that helps you UP

You are back in the kitchen. Peter help you up from the hole.

"Well, We are more or less part of the team" The badger says. "I'm Robbo, and this is Brant "Hotshoe". We are a group of wanderers from the eastlands going north."

"What is your destination?" you ask

"There is a rumor all sorts of moneymaking stuff has been found up north."

"Gold, silver, Unobtainium!" Hotshoe chimes in

"So why are you here?" You ask rob

"Well, after we found you, a group of zombie chairs started approaching. We blocked ourselves in here to wait until things cooled down. This is our base camp."


There is some Glue here
There is a Mushroom here
There is a Knife here
There is a Can here

INVENTORY
-Toolbox
-Screwdriver
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar)

there are exits to the WEST and SOUTH

[Troglobite]

Pull the ladder out of the pit (With help from the others if needed) and use the scredriver to disasemble it so you can use a board as a more effective weapon than the chair leg.

[Nonomu198]

Take that glue and get back to FIX THAT (-) VASE!

[Puffie40]

>Pull the ladder out of the pit

"Give me a hand pulling this ladder out" You ask your team. Rob, being the strongest of the three, helps lift the heavy crate with the makeshift ladder attached to it."

"It's kind of heavy to be empty" Rob comments.

>use the screwdriver to disassemble ladder crate

You dismantle the ladder and crate. Inside the crate is a old hunting rifle, some boxes of ammo, and a sash full of money.

"The Farmer's loot!" Hotshoe yells

Inventory regained:
-Selection of screws

>Take that glue and get back to FIX THAT (-) VASE!

You go WEST, grab the pieces of the vase, and bring it to the glue (Hey, It can work the other way! :p ) and glue the vase together. The vase has lost $129,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999.99 of it's value, but you have a intact vase again.

There is a Hunting Rifle here
There is a Vase here
There is some Ammo here
There is a Sash of money here
There are some floorboards here
There is a empty crate here
There is some Glue here
There is a Mushroom here
There is a Knife here
There is a Can here

INVENTORY
-Toolbox
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar)

there are exits to the WEST and SOUTH

[Ae]

Mix the Windex, glue, mushroom, and flowers together in the vase, then eat.

[Puffie40]

>Mix the Windex, glue, mushroom, and flowers together in the vase, then eat.

The spirit of logic and saving-you-from-a-stupid-death descends from the heavens and slaps you upside the head. There are smarter things to do.

[Ae]

>Mix the Windex, glue, and flowers together in the vase, then eat.

[Troglobite]

Take ammo, gun, knife, and money

[Puffie40]

>Mix the Windex, glue, and flowers together in the vase, then eat.

Sorry. Windex just is not that appetizing to you.

You do however pour some windex into the vase and put the flowers in. Adding glue to the windex does not do anything. The Flowers spring to life with the power of window cleaning!

>Take ammo, gun, knife, and money

Like a true street thug, you take the stuff that matters most to you.

There is a empty crate here
There is some Glue here
There is a Mushroom here
There is a Can here

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar)

there are exits to the WEST and SOUTH

[Troglobite]

Ask Rob out on a date again, now that the mushroom's effect ran out.

(This story could use some romantic interest. Plus, since you're a diffrent type of animal, it would add a nice touch or Romeo/Juliet forbidden love)

[Puffie40]

>Ask Rob out on a date again

Rob knocked you through a floor and conked you with a toolbox (Plus you think he punched you out) does that sound like true love to you?.

(Hey!, lotsa fun resides outside the room, you know...)

[Troglobite]

Exit south

[Puffie40]

>Exit south

You walk out of the south door, into the great outdoors. The air is wet from rain. A farm field covered in tall green grass goes into the distance in the south. Several sheds and a barn are in the east. and a road goes into the horizon in the west. A trail right beside the door goes around to the front of the house.

Rob comments "We could take care of the chair zombies with my grenade, or we can head south to the barter town."

"The ale in the bar there carries a kick!" Hotshoe says before Peter whaps his head muttering "Can it!"

"Also, There might be some goodies in the sheds. We did not look there" Rob says.

There is nothing collectible here (Gasp!)

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar)

there are exits to the NORTH(Into the house), NORTHWEST (Around the house), EAST, WEST and SOUTH

[Troglobite]

Head South to the town.

[Puffie40]

>Head South to the town

http://www.majhost.com/gallery/puffie40/Jazzavatar/totair.gif


The trip takes you past the field, through the woods and onto the road.

You are standing in a town that looks like it was taken straight from the Wild West. Old wooden buildings are on both sides of the street, and the whole town looks like it has not seen the wonders of electricity. Or paint. or a bath.

"This is Barterville, the last safe haven for n00bs before the wastelands up north" Rob comments.

To the NORTH is a General Store, to the SOUTH is the Saloon, to the NORTHEAST is a Doctor's office, to the NORTHWEST is a Pawn Shop, to the SOUTHWEST is a Stable, to the SOUTHEAST is a Garage/ Gas Station.

Hotshoe is trying to make a beeline for the Saloon, but Peter is holding him back by the ears.


http://www.majhost.com/gallery/puffie40/Jazzavatar/pnh.gif
(Just had to illustrate that one :p )

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar)

there are exits to the NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, WEST, NORTHEAST, NORTHWEST, SOUTHEAST, SOUTHWEST

[Troglobite]

Cool! Tales of Text has more than just text now.

Go north to General Store.

[Puffie40]

>Go north to General Store

The door squeeks as it opens and the floorboards creak as you walk in. The General Store is a dimly-lit room with kerosene lamps light in important areas. The air is thick with the smell of dust, wet wood and old, musty leather.

The storekeeper looks up from his book and smiles. His grin is not like a prospector's toothless grin, but it's close. "So!" He says with a happy sigh "You are looking for equipment! Well, for the best goods in the north, this is the best place for it!"

"What do you take for payment?" you ask. "Cash" He says, then spotting the bulging inventory "...But, I can do trades. Let's see what you got!"

---
WHAT HE HAS:
-Trail Rations
-Pickaxe
-Diary
-Leather Jacket
-Chainsaw
-Hotdog
-Map
-FooBar's Helmet
-FooBar's Teeth
-FooBar's Face
-Mysterious PDA


WHAT YOU HAVE THAT HE IS INTERESTED IN:
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
----

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Kitchen Spoon
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar)

the exit is to the SOUTH

[Nonomu198]

Trade spoon for PDA.

[Puffie40]

>Trade spoon for PDA

You trade the spoon for the PDA. When you look through the PDA, you find nothing but a note:

http://www.majhost.com/gallery/puffie40/Jazzavatar/TOTAIR/pda.jpg
Errrr, Oops. Wrong note...

http://www.majhost.com/gallery/puffie40/Jazzavatar/TOTAIR/pda2.jpg

"Where did you find this PDA?" you ask the Shopkeeper

"Some scrawny ferret who claimed to have found a lab to the northeast. He went due west after trading it for food. It's obsolete in technology terms so I was selling it cheap!"

---
WHAT HE HAS:
-Trail Rations
-Pickaxe
-Diary
-Leather Jacket
-Chainsaw
-Hotdog
-Map
-FooBar's Helmet
-FooBar's Teeth
-FooBar's Face
-Kitchen Spoon


WHAT YOU HAVE THAT HE IS INTERESTED IN:
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Bottle of Windex
-Mysterious PDA
----
"

[Troglobite]

Ask about any important news or upcoming events in the town.

[Puffie40]

>Ask about any important news or upcoming events in the town

"Anything happening around town?" you ask.

"Sorry, things are pretty slow. No one has been coming from the south due to a nest of chair zombies and mutant Squirrel gangs. No one's going up here because they don't like getting held at gunpoint and being robbed of their nuts"

"So to spe-" Hotshoe says before Rob punches him though the floor.

"Ah, Hello Rob." The shopkeeper says "Came back to test my floor patches? Anyway, a gang of bandits are having a turfwar to the northwest, and a Mysterious light is starting to glow from the Northeast. Oh, if you are new here, stay out of the east. Those areas around that military base are rather radioactive and you stand a good chance of getting a hole in your head"

Ohhhhhhkay. Sound advice....

---
WHAT HE HAS:
-Trail Rations
-Pickaxe
-Diary
-Leather Jacket
-Chainsaw
-Hotdog
-Map
-FooBar's Helmet
-FooBar's Teeth
-FooBar's Face
-Kitchen Spoon


WHAT YOU HAVE THAT HE IS INTERESTED IN:
-Floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Bottle of Windex
-Mysterious PDA
----

Exit to the SOUTH

[Troglobite]

Leave the store.

[Puffie40]

>Leave the store

To the NORTH is a General Store, to the SOUTH is the Saloon, to the NORTHEAST is a Doctor's office, to the NORTHWEST is a Pawn Shop, to the SOUTHWEST is a Stable, to the SOUTHEAST is a Garage/ Gas Station

Where would you like to go today?

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Mysterious PDA
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar, concussion)

[Nonomu198]

Isn't Hotshoe still in the floor? Head north-east to see the Doctor.

[Puffie40]

>Isn't Hotshoe still in the floor?

He crawled out and followed you out. He claims he had to go to the john.

>Head north-east to see the Doctor

You walk into the doctor's office, which is not much different from the general store. The doctor is in.

"I'm Dr. Ramen. how may I help you?"

"uhh, I think everyone in the party is fine, but hotshoe here is talking like he's a landed on his head."You say to the doc

"landed on his head? I knocked him though the floor!" Rob countered

"I was hoping to not mention that..." You comment

"Sounds like a concussion to me. For 15 dollars I can give him some asprin and send him on his way." the Doctor offered

"I was kind of hoping for some more extensive treatments. Like electroshock." Peter mutters.

"THE PIE IS ALIVE!" Hotshoe shouts

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Mysterious PDA
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar, concussion)

Exit is to the SOUTH-WEST

[Nonomu198]

As TF taught me, concussion wears off by itself after a while (Hotshoe has a crowbar, so that has to make sense).

I am not going to pay the Doctor 15 dollars just for a small concussion. Ask the Doctor if he has a kit-for-smashing-ingredients-together for sale.

[Troglobite]

Ask the doctor if he wants to hire a window-washer.

[Puffie40]

>I am not going to pay the Doctor 15 dollars just for a small concussion

"Errr, Sorry, I don't think I need the aspirin, Doc" you say

"Very well, his stupor should only last a couple of posts" the Doc replies

"I AM A LARGE FISH!" Hotshoe yells.


>Ask the Doctor if he has a kit-for-smashing-ingredients-together for sale

"Do you have a thing for smashing stuff together?"

"A what?"

"A thing!"

"Sorry, I'm not a psychologist. Barry the bartender claims he can fix your mind's view with a crowbar, but I don't think that will-"

"No,no. A THING!"

"What? No! I'm that type of man! Besides, I'm out of Viagra"

"Let me rephrase that: An OBJECT that can smash stuff"

"I think that Badger of yours does a nice job of smashing stuff"

"*sigh* alright then, combine" You say, your head starting to hurt

"Oh! well, I can do Chemical combinations, and the garage is capable of making and customizing inventory items, to certain physical and GM-imposed limits"


>Ask the doctor if he wants to hire a window-washer

"Do you want your windows cleaned?" you ask the Doctor

"Sorry, but I make my own window-juice" He replies

Exit is to the SOUTH-WEST

[Troglobite]

Leave the Doctor's office.

[Puffie40]

>Leave the Doctor's office

To the NORTH is a General Store, to the SOUTH is the Saloon, to the NORTHEAST is a Doctor's office, to the NORTHWEST is a Pawn Shop, to the SOUTHWEST is a Stable, to the SOUTHEAST is a Garage/ Gas Station

A Raccon and a coyote walk down the street and you catch some of thier conversation.

"...and this place is getting wierd. That ferret shows up at the camp, then the radio blows up. Flashing bright lights everywhere then everyone disappears."
"Why do you think you got left behind?"
"Could be anything. but i'm pretty sure that ferret had somthing to do with it did you see where..."

The two enter the saloon. Hotshoe starts making a beeline for the saloon and peter holds him back by the ears. seems his concussion wore off.

Where would you like to go today?

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Mysterious PDA
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar)

[Nonomu198]

*gulp* To the Sallon.

[Troglobite]

Discreetly chuck the spent shotgun shell at the passing racoon.

[Puffie40]

>*gulp* To the Saloon

You enter the saloon against yours (and Peter's) better judgment.

The saloon is a smoke-filled room that obviously looks like the popular area in town. It is well lit, a piano plays a uppity tune in the corner, and the three tables are loaded. A bartender is at the back of the room polishing his counter with a dirty rag. A staircase goes up and sign near the door indicated they sell rooms.

Hotshoe runs to the counter and starts inhaling ale. The bartender, because Hotshoe did not ask for the stuff, takes a baseball bat and delivers a solid blow to Hotshoes head, cooling down his excitement.

"We call him the designated idiot of our team." Peter says to you

>Discreetly chuck the spent shotgun shell at the raccoon.

with practiced skill, you throw the shell at the raccoon. The Raccoon looks around and before you can sneak away, he notices you. "Hey! Do you mind explaining why you are throwing useless objects around?"

"Oh. I, uh, umm, was looking for a garbage..."

"You were a little short buddy!" You sigh in relief as he picks the shell up and throws it in the garbage can near the counter. Somebody was looking out for you. Last thing you want is to start a bar brawl with you as the target.

Hotshoe hiccups. He must have had a little too much.

-There is a Raccoon here
-There is a Coyote here
-There is a Pack of Squirrels playing cards here
-There is a Garbage Can (with Spent Shotgun Shell) here
-There is a Bartender here
-There is a Cloaked figure here
-There is a Piano here

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Mysterious PDA
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar, concussion, drunk)

[Troglobite]

Ask the squirrels if you can join their game.

[Coppertop]

Oh, dear. Now see what you've done, Radium.
:P

[Puffie40]

>Ask the squirrels if you can join their game

"Say, can I join the game guys?" you ask

"Sureyoucanjoin. Thepotsucksthough." one of the squirrels replies.
"Ahyouarejusttickedthatyoudrewsuchacrappyhand"
"Ohsureitmusttakesomereallucktogetthreeacesinonehan d"
"AREYOUSAYINGIMCHEATING?"
"OhyesyoubloodyrightIam!"
"Youareoneparanoidfreakman!"
"Youknowiottakickyourbuttrightnowforthosewords!"

The two squirrels get up and start fighting. The other three look at you.

"DontworryaboutthemDarrylisjustasoreloser" The dealer tells you.

New items of notice:
-A pair of Squirrels fighting

[Troglobite]

Use the screwdriver to loosen the screws in Darryl's chair while he's distracted.

[Nonomu198]

Sit on another free chair.

[Puffie40]

>Use the screwdriver to loosen the screws in Darryl's chair while he's distracted

You use the screwdriver to loosen the screws in Darryl's chair. The other squirrels start snickering.

>Sit on another free chair

You sit down and the dealer starts the game. You draw an ace and a pair of jokers.

"What kind of game is this?" you ask, looking at the jokers

"CALVINPOKER!Therulesfollowpokersomewhatbutthecards havetheirownmadeupmeaning!"

One of the squirrels bets 300. the other two look concerned.

Peter wispers in your ear. "I counted your sash of cash. You have $1300 of FQBucks"

[Nonomu198]

SOUNDS LIKE A GAME OF CUPS!

Match.

[Puffie40]

>Match

"I match your bet" you declare as you slam 300 FQbucks on the table. The betting squirrel look at you defiantly. "Ibet500!"

The dealer promptly hands out another set of cards. You now have two jokers and two jacks. The third squirrel now bets 30.

Darryl finishes his fight and sits down, in which the chair falls apart. the squirrels roar with laughter.

[Troglobite]

Ask your party if anyone could play the piano in the Saloon, while you play cards.

[Puffie40]

>Ask your party if anyone could play the piano in the Saloon, while you play cards.

"Hey guys, whos good at playing the piano? you ask.
Peter lifts an eyebrow. "Wow, you sure are trying to look like the gambling barfly aren't you?"
"Well? It at least sets the mood." You say in a begging voice
"*Sigh* fine. I'll chew on the piano strings for a while." Peter grumbles as he heads over to the piano.

Hotshoe hiccups and burps at the same time the sound resonates through the bar.
Darryl starts a accusing match with the entire bar over who dismantled his chair. I think a barfight is about to happen...

You get back to your game. The betting squirrel slams his hands on the table

"NEWRULE!Thepersoncapibleofsingingyankeedoodleatthe highestpitchwinsthepot!"

Hoo boy. Maybe Rob can help you there. it seems like a easy way out... }>

[Troglobite]

Sing!

[Puffie40]

>Sing!

You take a deep breath
"YANKEE DOODLE! Take a look at my NOODLE!-"

"That'snotyankeedoodle!" The squirrel protests

"But it was in a high pitch!" you point out "After all, the barkeep is screaming that the drinking glasses are going on our bill"

The squirrel glances you a dirty look and slides the pot of 1130 FQBucks your way. Sweet.

The Raccoon and Coyote spring from their table and advance on Darryl to rearrange his face. The other squirrels, forgetting their game, jump up to back Darryl. Robert pulls out a rag and starts polishing a set of brass knuckles. Hotshoe sneaks behind the bar and downs a bottle of some unknown liquor. Peter sees what is happening and sets the piano to play by honkytonk before running to hide in a corner.

Eep. Stars are going to fly.

[Troglobite]

Run for your life.

[Puffie40]

>Run for your life.

You turn tail and run out of the saloon screaming, with Peter close behind you. Some people live for bar fights, and Rob seems to be one of them. General battle noises erupt out of the saloon to the upbeat tune of piano music. A loud crash of breaking glass and Hotshoe joins you outside.

To the NORTH is a General Store, to the SOUTH is the Saloon, to the NORTHEAST is a Doctor's office, to the NORTHWEST is a Pawn Shop, to the SOUTHWEST is a Stable, to the SOUTHEAST is a Garage/ Gas Station

Where would you like to go today?

INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money (2130 FQBucks)
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Spent Shotgun Shell
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Mysterious PDA
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet

PARTY (Inventory)

- Peter (Shotgun, shotgun Shells)
- Rob (Rations, Knife, grenade) (Not in this location)
- Hotshoe (Feet of fire, knife, crowbar)(Drunk)

[Troglobite]

To the stable.

[Puffie40]

>To the stable

The stable is a run down barn with a correl out both the front and back. The smell of rotting manure overwhelms your sense of smell.

You look around for an attendant, but see none. the only thing here seems to be a machine with "VEND-A-HORSE" painted on it. Looking at the coinslot on the machine, 500 FQ's will get you a horse with a 5-trip lifetime.

A barrel flys out of the saloon. It bounces down the street a short distance before exploding. Peter mutters somthing about the ale "having a minimum safe distance"
Almost as if to prove his point, Hotshoe burps, the gas immediately igniting. There goes his eyebrows.

There is a Pitchfork here
There is a Hammer here
There is a can of Nails here
There is a Saddle here
There is a pile of Hay Bales here

Exit is to the NORTH-EAST

[Troglobite]

Search the pile of hay bales.

[Jgke]

Take Hammer and can of nails.

[Puffie40]

>Search the pile of hay bales
You rip apart the pile of hay bales, sending hay bales flying. Hotshoe grabs each one excitedly. You did not find anything, but Hotshoe built a fort out of the hay bales. He dashes inside. Peter trys to go in, but is held-back by a stream of flames as Hotshoe belches again.

>Take Hammer and can of nails


INVENTORY
-floorboards
-Knife
-Sash of money (2130 FQBucks)
-Toolbox
-Ammo
-Hunting Rifle
-Screwdriver
-Selection of Screws
-Funny-smelling chair leg
-Bottle of Windex
-Mysterious PDA
-Flowers
-Window-cleaning bouquet
-Nails
-Hammer

There is a Pitchfork here
There is a Saddle here
There is a pile of Hay Bales here

Exit is to the NORTH-EAST, the fort is to the WEST

[fajina]

^^^eat said badger

[Sean]

Walk up to the General Store and clean his windows then demand payment while threatening him with the knife.