The Adventures of Yoboman

[EvilMike]

This is a stupid story I wrote up about the dumbest newbie in the world. It's completely fictional, and borrows aspects from many stupid people I have seen in the past, but exaggerates them somewhat. This is merely part 1 of the story. I tried to write it in a way so instead of dialog being presented in quotation marks, it was in the form of a chatlog. I also tried to write it so it was from the point of view of the characters, not the players. I *think* I messed up on that part, but who knows? The quality of this writing isn't very high, and I didn't even get anyone to edit it. I just wanted to make fun of people who don't know how to duel/use JDC properly. Anyway, let's begin.


<H3>PART 1: YOBOMAN'S FIRST DUEL</H3>
Hi. My name is EvilMike. You people probably recognize me as an administrator of JDC. I have dealt with many people in JDC before, and have even more stories about them. This is probably because less than half of them are true. Aside from that little lying problem of mine, I have a story about one such player to tell you. He comes from the slum of the video game world, the Counter-Strike community. I'm not talking about some professional guy in a big name clan; this person is just some regular speed-hacking scumbag that you can find camping in any corner you look in.

One day, this “YOBOMAN” as he called himself, found JJ2 on a warez site. He downloaded it, and started playing on 1.24. A few days later, he signed up to JDC, and met me in a 1.23 server. This is where our story starts…

8:24 PM, IN SERVER “SPOTTYS WEEKEND SERV”

YOBOMAN joined the game
SpottyDM: Hu
SpottyDM: Hi*

Yoboman looked around the server he just joined. He saw a purple sky, a sort of metallic ground and several other people playing. Most of the people, including himself, had red or blue names, and that confused him. Then he noticed something that really got his attention, and offended him.

YOBOMAN: OMG U SUCK
FireSword DM captured the flag
SpottyDM: ?
YOBOMAN: Y DO I HAVE 3 HARTS U CHEATER
SpottyDM: Cuz its CTF
EvilMike DM roasted BlurredD
YOBOMAN: O
YOBOMAN: WHEN U ROAST SOMEONE IT IS LIKE A FRAG RITE
SpottyDM: Ya.. i think ;P

The game continued, and Yoboman was killed a few times, but eventually managed to kill me while I was chatting. He was quite proud of this achievement, so he challenged me to a duel. Seeing as I love hunting people that don’t stand a chance against me, I accepted his offer. We agreed that he would be the host, and the level would be battle 1.

8:41 PM, IN SERVER “YOBOMAN HERE”

EvilMike DM joined the game
EvilMike DM: Get ammo?
YOBOMAN: YES

We began the ammo collecting procedure that was so common in JDC duels before they start. Yoboman, having collected the seeker and bouncer powerups already, was tired of waiting. Knowing this would be the perfect chance to get a free point, he started searching for me. That is when he found it, on top of a tower, on the highest point a person can get to in the level: the bubble shield. He took it, turned around, and found his target…

EvilMike DM: Um, what are you doing?
YOBOMAN roasted EvilMike DM
EvilMike DM: Don’t do that.
YOBOMAN: ICAN DO WHAT I WANT ITS MY SERVER
EvilMike DM: In a typical duel, neither competitor is permitted to use shields.
EvilMike DM: It is a common rule. Also, it is generally looked down upon to
EvilMike DM: roast people when they are collecting ammo.
YOBOMAN: Y
EvilMike DM: It’s the way things are.
YOBOMAN: O
YOBOMAN: Y
EvilMike DM: Can we just finish this?
YOBOMAN: K
YOBOMAN: LET SGO

(5 minutes later)
Yoboman ran. He had nothing else to do. He had been roasted just a few moments before, and had absolutely no ammunition left to fight back. He tried strafing to the side at an attempt to dodge some seekers fired at him. Then he realized the game was 2-D and that strafing is only possible in a 3-D game. Yoboman then tried to hide behind a wall. His hunter clamed a second kill from by shooting bouncers through the wall that Yoboman was hiding behind.

YOBOMAN: WALLHJACKER
YOBOMAN: WALLHACKER
YOBOMAN: OMG
EvilMike DM: What the heck are you talking about?
YOBOMAN: U WALLHACKE
YOBOMAN: D
EvilMike DM: …actually I just shot you normally.
YOBOMAN: HA HA HA VERY FUNNY VERY FUNY
YOBOMAN: U GOTTA GET UP PRETTY EARLY 2 FOOL ME
EvilMike DM: Uh, how about this: you can “wallhack” me any time you want
EvilMike DM: Ok?
YOBOMAN: BRB
(10 second pause)
YOBOMAN: OMG!!!1!!
YOBOMAN: U HAKCED ME
YOBOMAN: WALL HACK WONT WORK AND ITS UR FALT
EvilMike DM: Are you running a program?
YOBOMAN: DUH
EvilMike DM: You idiot.
YOBOMAN: GRRR SHUT UP
EvilMike DM: Do you use that thing when you play Counter-Strike?
YOBOMAN: YES

I didn’t need to bother him any more, as he was clearly a very, very stupid person. We agreed to continue the duel. 7 roasts by me (and 0 by him) later, my most idiotic opponent got stuck in a ceiling.

YOBOMAN: STUCK
YOBOMAN: LEMME REJOIN THE GAME K?
EvilMike DM: Wait
(server closes)

FINAL SCORE OF DUEL: EvilMike DM 7, Yoboman 1


<i>End of part 1.</i>

[EvilMike]

By the way, this is my first war tavern post and I am not even sure if it fully qualifies as one ;P

[Violet CLM]

But he knows how to talk! Something just isn't right here.


Uhh, yes, very funny. Remind me to look out for POPLE WHO TELK AL UPPERCAHZ!!!

[Ninja]

heh, verra funny Mike.

:D

[Rage]

Can't wait for part 2...

[FireSworD]

Wow this is great!

*Can't wait for a part 2*

[EvilMike]

Part 2 comes in 1 to 2 weeks maximum ;P. I am slow and/or lazy.

[VelKa]

LOLOLOL. THIS IS SO DARNED FUNNY. Good work, Mike. ;-P

[KRSplat]

Hehehe.

[Violet CLM]

WILL YOBOMAN START YOBOCLAN?

[defalcon]

Nice story. ;) Was it true? ;P

[EvilMike]

Originally posted by EvilMike
...This is a stupid story I wrote up about the dumbest newbie in the world. It's completely fictional, ...

Yes, totally true.:rolleyes:

[defalcon]

Ah shaddup. ;) j/k

[Ducky]

*sniffle*

Ah...*wipes away tears* A story that relates to reality is always so touching.
YaY Mike.

[ElectroPiZZa]

Fun story.

I should probably disguise myself as YOBOMAN on JJ2 servers these days so I can get you in trouble for personally attacking a real JJ2 player.

[KRSplat]

That would be such a Pizza-ish thing to do.

[CelL]

http://upload.turbosport.co.uk/gallery5/200251518563300319.gif
;-P

[Shiverz]

This should have been put in the comedy section :p

[Shiverz]

YOBOMAN And his saying " OMG YOU CHEAT "
http://upload.turbosport.co.uk/gallery5/200251519242186596.jpg




:lol:

[mirrow]

Just a big fat [_ [] [_

[EvilMike]

<strike>Yes, he is being sighted everywhere. Part 2 of this story is going to be finished this weekend. I'm a little slow, as I have a bucket of homework to do on top of a bunch of JDC event stuff ;P</strike>

::[EDIT]::
I had some extra time and finished writing part 2. It's a bit shorter than I wanted it to be, but whatever. See next post.

[EvilMike]

This one was written in 2 nights, with me putting very little time and effort into it. As you can see, it is mostly dialog, and you kind of have to read between the lines to interpet what is going on. It's probably a bit easier to read if you are a jj2 player with a lot of experience in 2vs2 ctf. The teams for the ctf game were Me and YOBOMAN on red, bobby and spotty on blue.

<h3>PART 2: YOBOMAN TRIES TO PLAY CTF</h3>

A day after the sudden end of yesterday’s duel, I submitted it to the JDC site. Of course, I had to get Yoboman to verify it. I found him a day after the duel, as he joined my server.

7:12 PM, IN SERVER “EVILMIKES EVIL SERVER”

EvilMike DM roasted SpottyDM
SpottyDM: Foo
Blue team scored a point
DizZy DM captured the flag
SpottyDM captured the flag
DizZy DM roasted SpottyDM
SpottyDM: foo
YOBOMAN joined the game
Blue team scored a point
YOBOMAN: EVIL MIKE!!!!!!!!
EvilMike DM: Oh, it’s you.
YOBOMAN: U LEFT MY DUEL I HATE U AND U WALLHAC
YOBOMAN: K

I finally found him. I attempted to explain to him how to verify a duel, and after about 10 minutes explaining how to, he finally understood a little. He asked me why he should verify several times, but finally agreed to do it.

YOBOMAN: K I ADDED THEH DUEL
EvilMike DM: You were supposed to verify it.
YOBOMAN: YA I DID THAT
YOBOMAN captured the flag
EvilMike DM: Uh, actually no.
EvilMike DM: It appears as if you added another duel.
YOBOMAN: LIER
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
EvilMike DM: Verify my duel.
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN captured the flag
DizZy DM roasted YOBOMAN
YOBOMAN: Y
EvilMike DM: Do it and you can duel me again.
YOBOMAN: FINE BT THIS TIME LET ME IWN
EvilMike DM: Whatever

So then I finally got the points for the duel. He didn’t get points, as it was his first duel in JDC. The inevitable attempted explanation of how the JDC system works was attempted by me, and climaxed with me screaming “YOU STUPID MORON READ THE INFO.PHP, IDIOT” several times. After things calmed down, DizZy, Spotty and me decided to organize a 2vs2 CTF game. Yoboman insisted that he would be a part of it, so we reluctantly agreed. I did say he could duel me again, although I didn’t really mean it…

7:40 PM, IN SERVER “SPOTTYS DUELORAMA”
EvilMike DM joined the game
DizZy DM joined the game
EvilMike DM: Hi
SpottyDM: Hu
SpottyDM: Hi*
YOBOMAN joined the game
DizZy DM: Hey
EvilMike DM: Oh yay, I got him on my team.
[EvilMike DM]: Play well or else.
YOBOMAN: K
[EvilMike DM]: I suggest you use teamchat.
YOBOMAN: K
SpottyDM: ?
SpottyDM: GEt ammo
[EvilMike DM]: I get flag first, ok
YOBOMAN: K
SpottyDM: Stop sayin k foo
[YOBOMAN]: K
DizZy DM: Ready
EvilMike DM: Yes.
SpottyDM: wait a sec
SpottyDM: ok rdy.

The countdown begun and we started playing. Spotty and DizZy decided to both go for my flag, leaving their base open. Spotty took a hit, but it got away with the flag. DizZy killed Yoboman, and a few seconds later I got their flag. The game was going ok for me being on the team of a newbie, at least up to the point where I died and lost the flag.

DizZy DM roasted EvilMike DM
Blue team scored a point
[EvilMike DM]: Let me get the flag
SpottyDM captured the flag
YOBOMAN: K
YOBOMAN captured the flag
YOBOMAN: WHAT DO I DO I GOT THE FLAG BUT HOW DO
YOBOMAN: I SCORE A POINT
EvilMike DM roasted SpottyDM
[EvilMike DM]: COME TO BASE YOU IDIOT
EvilMike DM roasted DizZy DM
[EvilMike DM]: WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU HURRY
YOBOMAN: IT WONT LET ME SCORE
[EvilMike DM]: COME TO -OUR- BASE YOU FREAKING MORON
YOBOMAN: O
SpottyDM captured the flag
[EvilMike DM]: And use teamchat
[EvilMike DM]: aasdfgagfsdfhsgh
DizZy DM roasted YOBOMAN
Blue team scored a point
EvilMike DM captured the flag
SpottyDM roasted EvilMike DM
DizZy DM captured the flag
Blue team scored a point
YOBOMAN left the game
EvilMike DM: pause
SpottyDM: sadfasdgdfhfg
DizZy DM: Go to bases.
YOBOMAN joined the game

Yoboman got the idea that leaving red team and joining blue would help him win the game. So he did that.

DizZy DM: Go to red
EvilMike DM: Don’t change teams
YOBOMAN: Y
EvilMike DM: Its the ruels
YOBOMAN: BUT I WAN’T2 WIN
YOBOMAN captured the flag
Blue team scored a point
SpottyDM: fooish foo
EvilMike DM: (I hate having idiots on my team)
YOBOMAN: IM NOT ON UR TEAM U MOREON
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN: I WIN
YOBOMAN was kicked off
DizZy DM: heh
EvilMike DM: What a dork.
EvilMike DM: Want to make this not count?
SpottyDM: No ;P
EvilMike DM: Too bad. This game doesn’t count.

FINAL SCORE OF DUEL: Draw


End of part 2

[Rage]

LOL!


Idea for part 3: YOBOMAN tries to join DM

[Violet CLM]

Mike is starting to lose his temper with Yoboman. Head for the hills.

[KRSplat]

Hehehe.

Actually, YOBOMAN DM sounds pretty good.

[defalcon]

LOL!!! Heheheheh! THis is funny

[Violet CLM]

Originally posted by EvilMike
That is when he found it, on top of a tower, on the highest point a person can get to in the level: the bubble shield. He took it, turned around, and found his target…

EvilMike DM: Um, what are you doing?
YOBOMAN roasted EvilMike DM


Either Mike types very slowly, or something very strange is going on....

[EvilMike]

"EvilMike DM: Um, what are you doing?"
I see him shooting me with a bubble shield.

"YOBOMAN roasted EvilMike DM"
He kills me with it.


There can be a lot of time in between those 2 messages. I would say maybe 10 seconds. Could you consider the possibility of him chasing me with it?

[DarkShadow]

I love it

Verry Cool, I cant wait till part 3:D

[Shiverz]

Part 3 Part 3 Part 3 Part 3

[4I Falcon]

How about a YOBOMAN treasure hunt? He'll be screaming "I'M LOSING ALL MY GEMS, YOU'RE STEALING MY GEMS YOU IDIOT" or something stupid along those lines. :p

hilarity abounds... :D

Derby: (Inconvenient) content replacement.

4I Falcon: (Convenient) content re-replacement. Please don't edit my posts like that... if you see anything not worthy of being posted, simply just remove it...

thx.

[Violet CLM]

YOBOMAN: IM ON THE EXIT WHY DON'T I WIN?
EvilMike DM: Because you don't have enough gems.
YOBOMAN: O
YOBOMAN: THATS STUPIT

[||Slim]

funny.. this has been the only war tavern-like story ive ever actually read. :p

[Bobby aka Dizzy]

I'm quite impressed with the good impressions of myself. ;P

[4I Falcon]

even better, he's shooting everyone and chasing them around the arena, and they don't die, and he gets all angrified... for example:

YOBOMAN: WHY WONT YOU DI
YOBOMAN: E
EvilMike DM: This is a treasure hunt game.
Jack Flash (let's just pretend for a sec that I'm on the server :D): you can't kill pplz in treasure hunt games
YOBOMAN: SHUT UP JACK FLAHS
EvilMike DM: He's right. You can only steal gems if you shoot people.
YOBOMAN: BUT YOUR NOT DIEING
EvilMike DM: That's what I just said.
EvilMike DM: You can't kill people in treasure hunt games.
(20 second pause)
YOBOMAN: THATS STUPID
Jack Flash: like certain people on this server
Jack Flash: lol
YOBOMAN: I SAID SHUT UP JACK FLASH
Jack Flash: SPOONY!
(10 second pause)
YOBOMAN: YOU STUPID RETAR
EvilMike DM: Uh, Jack, what's spoony mean?
YOBOMAN: D
Jack Flash: it's an inside joke. never mind.
YOBOMAN: YOU SUCK
(5 second pause)
Jack Flash: Mike, I'll leave the honours to you. Now, if you please...
EvilMike DM: Gladly.
YOBOMAN: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
YOBOMAN was kicked off the server
Jack Flash: much better. now where are j00?!

Mike decides to hide in a small room, hoarding his gems. Jack is searching everywhere else, and is slowly getting annoyed, to Mike's amusement.

Jack Flash: come out, come out, wherever j00 are!!

Mike decides to make a break for it just after Jack runs right across the top of the small room he is hiding in. Jack spins 180º and dashes after Mike. With all the running around, no one notices that YOBOMAN has reentered the server...

YOBOMAN: IM BACK
Jack Flash: oh god no...
EvilMike DM: hoo boy.
YOBOMAN: SHUT UP I KNOW HOW TO PLAY NOW
Jack Flash: m1k3, 73t'5 m4k3 4 7rUc3 f0r 4 wh1l3. 4t l34st un71l w3 c4n g3t r1d 0f c4pt41n b00z3h34d.
EvilMike DM: 0K.
YOBOMAN: WHAT THE
YOBOMAN: WHAT IS THAT
Jack Flash: omg, you don't understand l337 speak?
YOBOMAN: WHAT'S L337 MEAN
EvilMike DM: It's a code. L337 stands for Elite.
EvilMike DM: And since you're not in on the code, you're obviously not elite.
YOBOMAN: HEY SHUT UP EVILMIKE
Jack Flash: lol

Mike shows Jack a secret room, found by blasting at ordinary-looking wall blocks. The blocks slowly regenerate themselves, so by the time YOBOMAN passes by, he hasn't a clue where they went.

YOBOMAN: WHERE DID YOU GOI
YOBOMAN: GO
Jack Flash: j00 can't find me! lol
EvilMike DM: I think YOBOMAN is completely lost by now.
YOBOMAN: WHAT'S J00 MEAN
Jack Flash: *smek*
EvilMike DM: OBVIOUSLY not elite.
YOBOMAN: SHUT UP ALL OF OU

Mike and Jack take a secondary passage out of the secret room after tiring of taunting the hapless YOBOMAN. They begin to collect gems, and additional weaponry. At one point, YOBOMAN thinks he sees a renegade h fly by, and gives chase, but to no avail.

After a while, while Mike and Jack are waiting in the secret room for another opportunity to collect more gems, YOBOMAN runs by, and sees their names at the bottom of his screen. He immediately goes into a flaming rage.

YOBOMAN: FOUND YOU
YOBOMAN: HOW DID YOU GET DOWN THERE
YOBOMAN: CHEATERS
Jack Flash: we're speeeecial.
EvilMike DM: We're not cheaters. We're just elite.
YOBOMAN: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
Jack Flash: yarr, i've had enought of this.

Jack blasts his way out of the secret room. Just as YOBOMAN lands a buttstomp to attempt to get to the secret room, Jack trains his gun on the Spaz-impersonator (!) and fires. Gems fly all over the place, and Jack runs hastily away, picking them up as he goes.

YOBOMAN: WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY GEMS, YOU STEALING MY GEMS
Jack Flash: yuppers!
YOBOMAN: CHEATER

Mike follows suit, blasting YOBOMAN, grabbing the flying gems, and making a quick getaway. YOBOMAN is now thoroughly ticked off.

YOBOMAN: YOU SUCK
EvilMike DM: WE suck? May I remind you that WE are not the ones losing many gems?
Jack Flash: lol
YOBOMAN: GIVE ME BACK MY GEMS
Jack Flash: What would happen if I said no thanks?
YOBOMAN: I'LL KILL YO
YOBOMAN: U
Jack Flash: Ooo, I'm scared.
EvilMike DM: Oh no, YOBOMAN's going to come get us!

Jack and Mike make a quick getaway as YOBOMAN struggles to keep up. At one point, he attempts to shoot the two, but Mike times a buttstomp to invincify himself against the blasts. What's more, the buttstomp scores a direct hit on YOBOMAN's head, causing him to drop even more gems.

YOBOMAN: I HATE YOU
EvilMike DM: You're very generous with your gems.
Jack Flash: Poor you. *rolls eyes*
YOBOMAN: YOU BOTH SUCK AND YOU CHEAT AND EVILMIKE YOU WALLHAKC
EvilMike DM: Blah, blah, blah...
Jack Flash: lol
YOBOMAN: I'M LEAVINGH
Jack Flash: yay!
YOBOMAN has left the game
Jack Flash: well, that was entertaining.
EvilMike DM: Indeed.
Jack Flash: anyway, I g2g, I hear a sandwich calling me.
EvilMike DM: I never knew sandwiches could talk, let alone know your name.
Jack Flash: Funny.
EvilMike DM: OK, bye then.
Jack Flash: l8rz
Jack Flash has left the game
EvilMike wins

there. now I've saved Mike the trouble of writing part 3 of the adventures of yobo-dork.

btw, spoony is a word i invented when i was extremely bored. i think it was in my history class. no further explanation needed.

GO TO THE BASEMENT (http://pub63.ezboard.com/bthebasement49988)! GO THERE NOW, YOU DANCING FOOLS! *is hit by various objects*

Derby: Filter bypass removal. Read the JCF terms of agreement before posting again. You get a warning for this.

[Rage]

OMG OMG OMG OMG

YOU TEAM UP IN TRESUR HUNT? CHATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Y080/\/\4|\| 15 1337!

Btw did you get permission to write a chapter?

~RagE aka Mr. T

[4I Falcon]

We only teamed up because a) Mike had had previous experience with yobo-sneef, and was quite sick of him, and b) I have a very short fuse, and got fed up with yobo-doorknob VERY quickly.

As for your other question...

...um, oops?

[EvilMike]

He did not get permission to write the next chapter, so I officially deem his post "fake". Call it fanfiction if you want.

[DarkShadow]

I don't think that the story made was even good enough to match the other stories.
You (or I) can tell that it isn't close to as funny as the "mike style"
And two oldies (assuming jf is an oldie) against one newbie. Thats totally insane, it should be totally oposite.
And also, why would you hide from a newbie? They are so easy to beat and you wouldn't even need to hide.

(I remember when I had split screen (on the demo of jj2) and I had my friends over and we were playing with three people on one monitor, I would have all the gems and my friends would glote over having 5 gems when I had 200. --But they would soon have none ;) All vs Me :P)


But anyway good luck on (YOUR OWN) Story.

<center>
*cant wait for P3 YOBO_CLAN
Your doing great mike.
<size=5>DS</font>
</center>

[KRSplat]

I suggest you remove the misspelled filtered word from your post, 4I Falcon.

(hm, that didn't sound like me talking)

;p

[4I Falcon]

Consider it just a very large suggestion then... :)

didn't mean to offend or plagiarize, or nothing...

just giving my view and opinion on the topic. :D

*is hit by a rampant furnace*

[EvilMike]

I'm writing the official part 3 right now. Expect it sometime between now and Sunday.

[DarkShadow]

*waits for P3*

.. . ... .. I claim 2nd page. ... .. .... .. . .

[Rage]

Can't wait.

[EvilMike]

I'm being lazy. Part 3 will be done sometime between now and when the sun explodes.

[Shadow XZ]

Funny story. I rarely check the War Tavern expecting for half of these stories to be serious tales of battles and such between people/clans... Now I shall read... Wait... Yaboman? GWHAHAHAHAHA! And the phrase "Spoony"... Wait, you mean that wasn't part of the story? Darn.... *ignore my ranting, I do have a point* and then the... well anyway, nice job on the story. Reminds me of myself long ago... X-D Maybe you should have, "Part 4: Yaboman finishes his first "battle" level!" I could see it now...

Evilmike: What's this?
YABOMAN: OMG YOU'RE STUCK IN A WALL.
Evilmike: It seems this level is nothing but a big wall.
YABOMAN: OMG YOU CHEATED. I CAN'T SHOOT YOU!

And so forth... The possibilities are endles...
"Yaboman joins the JCF... *nightmare of the JJ2 Community*"
Or... "Yaboman discovers J2O" Wouldn't that be wonderful? Huh? Huh? Alright... I'll shut up now... I'm wired on caffine at 12:41 AM, waiting for Ragnarok Online to download... So pretty much, this is the only line that says something somewhat sane, and that is saying that you should ignore the previous statements, for they may scare, even harm the reader.

[EvilMike]

Well, I didn't have much time writing this, so it is exceedingly short. Next part will be longer.

<H3>PART 3: YOBOMAN MAKES A LEVEL</H3>
He was hosting server. I didn’t know what to do. Was I to join it, and risk damaging myself by playing in the level he was hosting? Or was I to ignore the server? I joined it.

4:35 PM, IN SERVER “YOBOMAN HERE”

EvilMike DM joined the game
YOBOMAN: WELL, I SEA WEE MEAT AGIAN
EvilMike DM: You had 4 spelling errors in a row. That’s a lot.
EvilMike DM: And this level, I don’t know what to say about it.
YOBOMAN: YA I THOGHT SO
YOBOMAN: PPL SEEM TO LIKE IT
EvilMike DM: You know what?
YOBOMAN: NO
EvilMike DM: It sucks.
EvilMike DM was kicked off
EvilMike DM joined the game
EvilMike DM: As I was saying, the level sucks.
YOBOMAN: GRRRRRRR
EvilMike DM roasted YOBOMAN
EvilMike DM was kicked off

The level was a monstrosity. It had no layer 8 and uses a single tile of the Colonus tileset. I could barely tell it even was that tileset because there was literally one tile used. I decided that there were only two things I could do. I could be Mr. Nice and offer him some helpful, constructive advice to aid him with his level making skill, or I could be myself and just lower his morale to a point where he would never use JCS again. I opted for #2 because it seemed like fun.

4:37 PM, IN SERVER “YOBOMAN HERE”

EvilMike DM joined the game
DizZy DM: Ho
DizZy DM: Hk*
DizZy DM: Hi(
DizZy DM: Hi*
EvilMike DM: Hi. I got it right on my first try. Go me.
YOBOMAN roasted DizZy DM
YOBOMAN: LOL I ROASTED U
YOBOMAN: ROFTALMO
EvilMike DM: Hey yob, I have a question.
YOBOMAN: YES
EvilMike DM: Does it hurt?
YOBOMAN: ??????///
EvilMike DM: Does it hurt to be you?
EvilMike DM: This level… it’s a cry for help.
YOBOMAN: I NO U R BUT WHAT AM I
EvilMike DM: No really. Even the worst hotel levels I have seen are a little better
EvilMike DM: than this.
YOBOMAN: GRRRRR
DizZy DM was BANNED
YOBOMAN: OOPS RONG 1
EvilMike DM: Nice aiming
EvilMike DM was BANNED

Shortly after we were banned, Yoboman got stuck in a wall. No one was there to free him. The server went down. The only person willing to host the level was Spotty, who thought it was good.



<i>End of Part 3</i>

[Spotty]

Everyones so mean to me ;P.
I'm in all 3 of them so far and I'd say my interpretation is very real ;P.
G'job mike.

[>>Møønßlãzé<<]

Yep, I like banning people who says my entry to the hotelcontests sucks....erm..;)

[Shadow XZ]

YEAHHH!!! WOOO!! GO me and my suggestions!!!! :P Part 3 is good even though its short. Hmmm.... I'll be thinking of more fun possibilities...

[4I Falcon]

why is it that shadow is gleefully... um, whatever... and i'm berated for my... er, thingy? I SMELL A SLIGHT HINT OF BIAS HERE! *is hit by a brick*

as for anything else... have you ever considered that I'm just a total flaming idiot? Which, by the way, I completely endorse as my encompassing description.

btw, DarkShadow... i've been here for all of three months. I'm still a n00b.

Fuff.

[Shadow XZ]

Ok. I've got some more ideas... Oh and Falcon, I dunno why I was so glad. I just think i was lucky... :D anywho...
Yaboman clones...
Just think of the chaos... he'd join servers with 3 more of himself...
Then going around claiming not to be the same people... X-D
Anyway, so I'm wondering, Yaboman is basicly every n00b you've ever been in contact with, eh Mike? *realizes he does not know whether EvilMike wishes to be called Mike. Runs away scared*
But going from that point, aren't all people n00bs at one time? so is yaboman the true inner self of all of us? *brain hurts and falls over*

[EvilMike]

Did you know that I'm not even taking your suggestions?

[>>Møønßlãzé<<]

Oh god, you'r EVIL MIKE!

[Stijn]

Mike is evil. Learn to live with it.

Anyway, the story rulez. Not only because YOBOMAN sounds very stupid :)

[>>Møønßlãzé<<]

DON'T SAY MY NAME SUCK...erm.....nevermind ;)

[Alister]

Hey, do all the other anglophone countries have the same meaning for "Yob" as the UK?

[4I Falcon]

Considering I'm from Canada, and never even heard of the word yob...

...no.

btw, what does IAOTPKOTC mean?

[Alister]

I knew <I>someone</I> would ask. Now I just have to find out if I'm allowed to tell...

[Shadow XZ]

:O How rude... :P I had a feeling you weren't but still... ya never know. ANyway, when do you think the next part is coming? I'll just sit here now and be silent and wait. *silence*

[Super Saiyan]

Is there a Part 4 Coming??? Cmon!!!:lol:

[n0]

I CLAME <strike>PART</strike> PAGE FOUR!!!!!

Man, i wish i had a CTF buddie as good as yoboman!
We would rule!




































Um, make part four?

[EvilMike]

Part four is nearly comming close to almost being practically started. In other words, I'll write it later.

[n0]

MORE!

I MUST HAVE MORE!

[Flint LP]

ROTFL!:D
Part 4 please!

Personnaly I liked Falcon41s interpretation.
*is lynched by an angry mob*:O

[Me]

Post! Post! Post! POST!!!!!!! Maybe......... YOBOMAN joins the JCF?

[EvilMike]

You have to solve the puzzle I posted in the misc forum. I'll write part 4 if people don't give away the answer.

Oh wait. Someone already did.

[Another Jazz 2 fan]

NOOO!!! (Psst... admins... think you can delete the post that gives away the answer?) ;)

[EvilMike]

I'll write part 4 later ;P

[Kaz]

Man... this is great... If I wasn't on XP I would use a hack against this guy and lmbo.

Derby: Acronym edit.

[Me]

YOBOMAN joins a clan! YOBOMAN meets someone besides EvilMike DM, Spotty, DizZy DM, and <edit>BlurerdD!</edit>

[acid]

Sneef. Yoboman needs to have more adventures.

Maybe... Yoboman learns how to turn off caps lock! :O

[4I Falcon]

Originally posted by Flint LP
Personnaly I liked Falcon41s interpretation.

Who be's this Falcon41?

It's 4I Falcon! 4I! As in four-eye! Call me 41 again and I'll throw you out a window via my awe-inspiring cheese catapult!

just kiddi-- *is hit by Derby's brick of editingness*

Derby: Content replacement. Believe me, you will cherish this awesome word once you figure out what it means.

4I Falcon: I already know what defenestrate means. But you've just given me the greatest idea... :evil:

[EvilMike]

He'll return some day.

[DarkShadow]

Mike, he will return from under the bed when you stop jabbing spotty relentlessly with a pen.

[MaGoo]

This is one of the few War Tavern threads I've gotten around to reading, and it's very funny. GOOD JOB MIEK.

[EvilMike]

<h3>PART 4: YOBOMAN IS BACK</h3>

6:30 PM, IN SERVER, “JDC BR PREGAME.”

THECAPTANRAZOR joined the game
THECAPTANRAZOR: HI
EvilMike DM: Hi.
MaGoo DM: Hi
Violet CLM joined the game
THECAPTANRAZOR: HI I AM CAPTAN RAZOR
EvilMike DM: You misspelled “Captain”.
Violet CLM: Hi. What event is this?
EvilMike DM: The event will be Bank Robbery.
THECAPTANRAZOR left the game
EvilMike DM: I wonder if he is Mazin.
MaGoo DM: Could be.
THECAPTAINRAZO joined the game
Violet CLM: Wb
THECAPTAINRAZO: U HACKED MY NAME
THECAPTAINRAZO: OMG EVIL MIKE U HACKE DME
THECAPTAINRAZO: JUST LIKE U DID IN ARE DUEL
EvilMike DM: Shut up, Yoboman.

A few months after the sudden disappearance of Yoboman, he returned. The sudden return was unexpected, as most people figured he left, hopefully for good. I happened to be the first one to notice that he was back, as unlucky as I was that day in my server, and I was also sad to find out he was still a JDC member.

THECAPTAINRAZO: OK, U FOUND OUT
EvilMike DM: Wow, he used a comma.
Violet CLM: Wow.
MaGoo DM: Cool.
THECAPTAINRAZO left the game
EvilMike DM: Let’s all hope he does not come back.
SpottyDM joined the game
YOBOMAN joined the game
YOBOMAN: SPOTTY DUEL ME
SpottyDM: Aahhh foo
SpottyDM left the game
EvilMike DM: Stupid yoboman scaring away the players
YOBOMAN left the game
MaGoo DM: Heh
SPOTY DM joined the game
EvilMike DM: Please don’t bother me. Join with your normal JDC name.
SPOTY DM roasted Violet CLM
EvilMike DM: First warning.
SPOTY DM: I AM SPOTTY
EvilMike DM: If you insist.

14 minutes later…

SPOTY DM: I AM SPOTTY
EvilMike DM: Yes, you told me that.
DizZy DM: Heh.
Trafton CC: Is he real?
EvilMike DM: No.
SPOTY DM: YES I AM FOOL
MaGoo DM: You mean foo
SPOTY DM: GRR IM TAKING U OUT OF MY HOTLE
SpottyDM joined the game
SpottyDM: k im bak : P
SpottyDM: asdgdfhkhj;l
SpottyDM: fooooo
SPOTY DM: DUEL ME SPOTTY
EvilMike DM: Yoboman, please join with your normal JDC name.
SPOTY DM: I AM SPOTTY
EvilMike DM: -1
SPOTY DM roasted UrJazz
DizZy DM: Please rejoin and use the name Yoboman.
SPOTY DM: NO MAKE HIM DO IT HE IS A CLONE
EvilMike DM: -2
SPOTY DM left the game
SpottyDM: lol ;P
MaGoo DM: Heh
joined the game
left the game
joined the game
left the game
joined the game
left the game
joined the game
left the game
joined the game
left the game
joined the game
left the game
joined the game
was BANNED
EvilMike DM: Stupid jazztool.

Yoboman did not return. I was glad. The JDC event was able to continue as planned, and we had a good game of Bank Robbery. Blue won 53-42. That was actually a really good job for red, considering they don’t win often. We were into our second game, when Yoboman joined. The banlist must have been cleared when the pregame closed.

7:41, IN SERVER, “JDC BR EVENT.”

YOBOMAN joined the game
Red team scored a point
Red team scored a point
Red team scored a point
DizZy DM: Woo
Red team scored a point
Red team scored a point
Red team scored a point
SpottyDM: foo
Red team scored a point
SpottyDM: foo
SpottyDM: foo
SpottyDM: foo
SpottyDM: foo
SpottyDM: foo
[EvilMike DM]: We have over 83 points spoy. We will win.
YOBOMAN: CHEATERS!
[EvilMime DM]: Wait, he is on blue. Never mind.
YOBOMAN: YES I AM ON BLU EIDIOT
Violet CLM roasted EvilMike DM
YOBOMAN: OMG RED CHEATED
YOBOMAN: WHERE IS THE FLAG
Red team scored a point
SpottyDM roasted Trafton CC
EvilMike DM: This is BR.
YOBOMAN: ?
EvilMike DM: Anyone here want to explain?
Spotty DM roasted YOBOMAN
(10 seconds pass)
YOBOMAN: YES
Red team scored a point
EvilMike DM: I guess not
SpottyDM: ;P
YOBOMAN: HOW DO I GET COINS
YOBOMAN: WHAT IS THIS BAR
YOBOMAN: WHERE IS MY BASE
YOBOMAN: STOP SHOOTING ME I AM CHATTTING
DizZy DM roasted YOBOMAN
YOBOMAN: [censored]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
EvilMike DM: -1
YOBOMAN: FU IM LEAVING
YOBOMAN left the game

The rest of the event was rather uneventful. I won.

Final score of event:
EvilMike – 30
Spotty – 30
UrJazz – 23
Violet – 12
DizZy – 12
Trafton – 12
Black Ninja – 6
Yoboman – negative 3


End of part 4

[Trafton AT]

Wow. I'm actually in it, with one line. :p

This actually happened, just that it wasn't "YOBOMAN." I remember it from a JDC event that was very real.

You can find out who this person was if you search through the old records of JDC. :p

Keep the stories coming! These are great. :)

[EvilMike]

It's not a true story. It's loosely based off of one.

[Trafton AT]

Originally posted by EvilMike
It's not a true story. It's loosely based off of one.

I recall the episode 4 actually happing, more or less, though it was a bit compressed there. Am I just remembering things?

Well, anyway, very nice job. YOBOMAN is hilarious, and I hope to see the future versions. Will there be an epsiode 5?

[Spotty]

Yay more yoboman ;P, original story , very creative good job : P.

[MoonBlazE]

LoL.
I claim page 3.

[Violet CLM]

Ah, Yoboman. This time a little harder to understand then usual, as it requires knowledge of online play. But fun.

Edit: I claim the 1,000th view. (Didn't want to post a new post)

[4I Falcon]

Yesh, well, who doesn't play JJ2 online? :D
Well, except for my little brother... *kicks brother around the room* :rolleyes:

I don't think any of the famous pplz have been in my server except Fl@$h, Unhit, and MaGoo... :(

Oh well. Maybe one day I'll get meself 1.23, and find out what I've been missing.

[acid]

Wait... Is not playing online a crime or something?

*edges away from all the online players*

[4I Falcon]

You don't play JJ2 online?!

HEATHEN! BURN HIM!

j/k :D

[Flint LP]

AN UNBELIEVER!

Falcon I feel your pain. I mainly only play TSF online but if I'm lucky I can play 1.23. Strange prob('specially since it doesn't happen to AJ2F oand he uses the comp., just a different log-in.)

Now then...
*picks up a stake*

[acid]

*hides from the big, scary people who play online*

I would if I could! The patch I got for playing online doesn't work, and I'm still not sure how to use that games in progress thingamajiggy on J2O!

[4I Falcon]

Tell that to Technical Help, you heretic to JJ2.

Now then... *picks up a baseball bat in one hand, a crowbar in his other hand, and a sabre in his other hand*

*sees an admin, possibly Ducky out of the corner of his eye*

Weren't doin' nothin', officer! *runs away*

Ducky: ...

[Flint LP]

Originally posted by acid
*hides from the big, scary people who play online*

I would if I could! The patch I got for playing online doesn't work, and I'm still not sure how to use that games in progress thingamajiggy on J2O!

Though this ain't technical help, if your problem is with the list servers there is still a way to play. On the top ofb j2o one of the buttons says: Games in Progress (u already found it yay). Click here (sometimes it takes a while to load) and then pick a server and click on join. Then some box will come up, and hit the button that says open. Then you should be able to play! JUst not private games, even if u know the pass (no jdc for me 'cept on my bro's log in.

[Ducky]

Don't worry, I'm not an admin.

*thwacks Falcon with crowbar*

I'm only a moderator. *beams*
Hah. Off subject!

*goes off to be crankily moddy*

...continue, btw..

[n0]

Hey, Make YOBOMAN join a server with MCE's in them.
Or an Assult server
Or a Cracco varition gametype.

[4I Falcon]

heehee... i could see now what a supern00b would do in one of those situations...

btw, Ducky... ow.

btw again... refresh my memory, what's an MCE?

[acid]

Multiple combo event...?

They're the stuff that let you do weird thingies in your level.

[Tik]

MCE are something that either Dethman and/or Jeh came up with by accident. MCEs are the product or a combination of events in JCS that produce strange events and sort of dig around randomly in the Jazz2 Anims file. When you place certain events at certain locations and set properties for one of those events, you produce an MCE. I've forgotten the necessary elements for MCEs right now, but originally Dethman had a way of doing MCEs that involved using about 8 tiles, all filled with events. After testing, though, the necessary components for MCEs only use maybe 4 or 5 tiles with a couple events. Also, you can do MCEs using one events involving the contents of crates and whatnot, these are called SCEs.

That, in a scrambled and fastly-done summery, are MCEs. Now..more YOBOMAN PLZ THX =)))

[Violet CLM]

Actually, only three events are needed. Go look at Overlord's site.

[Tik]

Your mom.

[Rage]

This entire page is off-topic. So is this post.

[EvilMike]

STOP BEING IDIOTS OR I WONT POST NEXT YOBOMAN I HATE ALL OF YOU

YOU ARE FIRED GOOD DAY


AH AH AH AH AH

[Trafton]

Originally posted by EvilMike
STOP BEING IDIOTS OR I WONT POST NEXT YOBOMAN I HATE ALL OF YOU

YOU ARE FIRED GOOD DAY


AH AH AH AH AH
No, you fired.

(More YOBOMAN or <strike>Jeh</strike> Spotty gets it. And I mean it this time. Sort of.)

[n0]

I CLAIM POST 100!!!!!!!!!!11 MAKE MORE YOBOPERSON MIEK OR I WILL U SUX!!!!11
THNX PLZ!!!!1

[Violet CLM]

Just to clear things up, Trafton got post 100, N0BOD0Y got reply 100.

CLONE WARS, EPISODE TWO;
ATTACK OF THE YOBOMEN!!1!!!!1 111!11 ! !!11111 1! 11 1!!!!

[4I Falcon]

Ack! More than one of them?!

*hides behind a convenient pile of boxes*