Jazz Vs...

[Iam Canadian]

This is a little game type thing...I'm actually not sure what this is classified as. But anyhow, this is like an ongoing poll. I will pit any Jazz character versus any character from...well...pretty much anything. You people vote on who you would think would win in one on one combat. After, I pick the character with the most votes and type a "transcript" of the battle. Then, I pit two other characters together, rinse, lather repeat. If you have any questions, ask...anyway, the first match up:

JAZZ JACKRABBIT

VS

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

Cast your votes people!

[DoubleGJ]

THIS HAS TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY FANGAME.

I dunno who will win.

[Iam Canadian]

I may as well cast my vote. I vote for Jazz.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

Jazz. None of the STH characters have long range attacks, and Jazz is just as fast as any of them.

[Iam Canadian]

Here's the standings:
Jazz: 3 (URJazz, Canadian, Batty Buddy)
Sonic: 0

[Atmcdragon]

Poking fun at my stupid past eh? :D

JAZZ ALL THE WAY!

[Iam Canadian]

Okay...4 votes for Jazz. This is seeming one sided, so I may wrap up the poll and do a transcript early, and make a more even matchup. It all depends if Sonic starts getting some votes.

[Tubz]

Jazz, guns over spikes.

Wow, all Jazz has to do is use his pepper spray to win.

[Iam Canadian]

ANOTHER vote for Jazz. That's it, I'm finishing this one, posting a little "story" about the battle, and going onto the next poll. Expect it sometime tomorrow. In the meantime, here's the next matchup.

JAZZ JACKRABBIT

VS

DUKE NUKEM

Cast yer votes!

[Trafton]

Jazz wins because Duke Nukem is scared by his insane community following and runs away screaming. The end.

[ElectroPiZZa]

Jazz wins because he's never out of gum.

[DoubleGJ]

Duke wins. He says "Time for rabbit pie!" and shots from Shrinker... if you played DN3D, you know the rest.

[Iam Canadian]

The standings:

Jazz: 3 votes

Duke: 1 vote

I'll have the Jazz vs Sonic transcript up either later today or tomorrow folks! Meanwhile, keep voting!

[Tubz]

Ok i'm choosing my answers according to their actual weapons. Now all Duke has to do is use his Freeze weapon from DN3D to win. It lasts a heck of a lot longer than Jazz's Frostbiter. And then Duke can use his rocket launcher to KO Jazz in 1 hit.

I vote for Duke.

[Iam Canadian]

For me, it's tough to say. Anyone who's played Duke 3D knows the insane power of the RPG and Devestator, and the fact RPG rockets seek targets, although not nearly as well as Jazz's seekers. Jazz is a heckuva lot faster than Duke and has his seekers and RF's. But those only do a max of 2 damage powered up, while Duke's weapons can do one hit KO's. I'm sadly gonna have to go with Duke on this one, based on sheer firepower.

[ShadowGPW]

http://images.mountainwalrus.com/_random/wootsmiley-Gerard.gif

[Tubz]

Duke has 100% health, and Jazz has 5 hearts=100%, and all weapons do diff damage. And some weapons will ko Duke in 1 hit. And no weapons that Jazz has will ko himself in 1 hit, plus he can't shoot himself.

[Fawriel]

Jazz wins cos Duke is high on petroleum.

[Iam Canadian]

Here's the transcript of the Jazz versus Sonic battle. Yes, it sucks. The next will be better, I promise. :p

Two of the fastest warriors in the universe face off. Jazz from planet Carrotus and Sonic from planet Mobius. They face off in a grand arena type place.
"You realize you're just me with a gun, right?" Sonic snaps, with an arrogant smirk.
"Is that so? Wanna see what this gun can do, CHUMP?" replies Jazz with a glare.
Sonic attacks first. He dashes forward at Jazz at lightning speed, and delivers a crushing punch. Jazz is sent flying backwards and crashes into a wall. Sonic grins.
"This match is over," he says.
But Jazz pulls himself to his feet, and shoots a look of hatred at Sonic.
"Oh, you did not just do that," hisses Jazz.
Sonic takes off at supersonic speed. Jazz just fires three seeker missiles at Sonic. They begin homing in on the blue hedgehog.
"What the heck?!" cries Sonic as he sees the missiles closing in. There is an explosion. Power Rings go flying everywhere, and Sonic lays unconcious on the ground, defeated. "Don't mess with the jackrabbit. Idiot." sneers Jazz.

THE WINNER:
JAZZ

Keep voting, people.

[Blade Nightflame]

Sonic
He can beat the dust out of Jazz
with his Super,Hyper and Ultimate form Jazz will only be a living dumb head a Sonic will be the legend!
I vote Sonic 100 times

[Iam Canadian]

Erm...Master Cheater, we're on Jazz vs Duke Nukem now. :p

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

You know, the fact that your doing a transcript kind of makes it like MY Breakfast Bash topic... You know, the one where Tony the Tiger kicked the Rice Crispies elves butts...

Anyway, Duke if it's on his turf, Jazz if it's on Jazz's turf. (Jazz's turf has a bunch of rabbit-friendly stuff that Duke would not be able to fathom.)

[EvilMike]

Jazz wins, because jazz normally has 5 hearts, while sonic just takes 2 hits assuming he doesn't grab the rings he loses. So Jazz can just shoot a powered up seeker and that's that.

[Iam Canadian]

I SAID we're on Jazz versus DUKE NUKEM now! Cast votes for THAT fight! :p

[Iam Canadian]

I saw that flash file. And I actually planned for the next one to be a tag team battle: Jazz and Spaz versus Mega Man and Proto Man. Thanks for spoiling it. J/K

[CelL]

JAZZ VS BOBBY AKA DIZZY

[Iam Canadian]

I'm wrapping up the Jazz versus Duke thing. Expect the transcript whenever I get off my lazy butt and do it. :p

Now, the next fight...which is different than I originally intended, but what the hey.

ZOONIK

VS

SONIC

Cast your votes!

[Fawriel]

ZOONIK!
ZOONIK!
ZOONIK!

*warp*
WHAM!
Sonic:What the-
*warp*
WHAM!
Sonic:You know you're a pesky lil'-*warp*
BLAM!
*Zoonik stands on Sonic's body and smokes a lil cigar*

[Iam Canadian]

I'll take that as a vote for Zoonik. ;) I vote for Zoonik too, because of that little transcript. If Zoonik wins, I might just steal your transcript. ;)

[Fawriel]

That crappy thing I typed while I was falling asleep on my keyboard?o.0;;

[Iam Canadian]

Since I'm a generous (and ridiculously bored) guy, I'm giving you two, yes TWO battle to vote on. I realize I'll regret this when I have to write two transcripts, but what the hey, here's your second battle to vote on.

THAT BIG JAZZ ROBOT THING AT THE END OF JAZZ 1

VS

METAL SONIC

Vote your cas...er cast your votes.

[Tubz]

Battle 2
Well I don't know what a zoonik is, so I have to go with Sonic.

Alright I did some reseach and I found out Zool+Sonic = Zoonic. In that case, because of how strange it looks, i'm still going to go with Sonic.

The original is always better than the spinoff anyway.

Battle 3
That big robot thing at the end of Jazz 1. The grey jazz, hardest boss ever in the history of JJ games. And he goes hard, and knows good ninja. He wins.

[Iam Canadian]

Although I might not be the best person to explain who Zoonik is (that belongs to a certain person who says "Que Passa!" in their posts. You know who you are. ;) ) Zoonik is the boss of Muckamok in JJ1. He was a green and purple guy who warped around (like Bilsy) and shot from a pellet gun.

[4I Falcon]

Zoonik annoyed the frell out of me. I couldn't duck fast enough in one of those little holes. (omg teh telprot!!!!!1111)

ok, so, which battle are we on now?

here's a good next one

Jazz and Spaz

VS.

Mega Man X and Zer0

[DoubleGJ]

Spaz burps and Jackrabbits win. Or at least one of them.

[Tubz]

Originally posted by 4I Falcon
...ok, so, which battle are we on now?

here's a good next one

Jazz and Spaz

VS.

Mega Man X and Zer0

Real simple battle, 4I Falcon. It goes like this. Megaman X and Zero have a lot of health, even without the 8 health capsules. And the only way they would die in 1 hit is by falling off a cliff, or touching spikes. And since no weapon Jazz & Spaz have that are like spikes. Megaman powers up to maximum buster and kills jazz. Zer0 just slashes Spaz's body and he wins. Winners = Mega Man X and Zer0.

[CelL]

I found Zoonic farely easy to beat in JJ1 because of his low health. Just took out my blaster and mowed him down with rapid fire.

[4I Falcon]

Originally posted by JJ Tublear
Real simple battle, 4I Falcon. It goes like this. Megaman X and Zero have a lot of health, even without the 8 health capsules. And the only way they would die in 1 hit is by falling off a cliff, or touching spikes. And since no weapon Jazz & Spaz have that are like spikes. Megaman powers up to maximum buster and kills jazz. Zer0 just slashes Spaz's body and he wins. Winners = Mega Man X and Zer0.

Everyone seems to be forgetting proportionality here! If Jazz's Seekers did as much damage to a Reploid, or a hedgehog, or a petroleum-high soldier of fortune, as they did to another rabbit, they would take off 20-40% health in one hit.

Also, while in Sonic and MM/X you remain invincible for a few seconds after you get hit, in an FPS like Duke Nukem 3D, you keep being hit by a rapid fire weapon, with every bullet it fires. Therefore, if Jazz fired off a short stream of anything at Duke (3 if powered-up, 5 if not), our Devastator-toting hero(?) would get roasted pretty quick.

In Sonic, our blue-spined protagonist has to pick up rings to stay alive, correct? And with every hit he takes he loses all of the rings he has. If he has 150 rings, and he gets hit, he drops all of them. He'll only be able to pick up about 25 before they disappear. From this 25, he may be able to pick up 10 if he gets hit again. Simply avoid Sonic's spinning attacks, and keep up a hail of gunfire at him, and he'll eventually miss his last ring and fall to a well-placed shot. Not saying this won't take a heckuva long time.

As for Megaman X and Zero, to give them their informal names, that would probably be the most even matchup between the Jackrabbits and anyone else. Zero's sabre is a one-hit KO on generally any of Sigma's minions, excepting, of course, the Masters. However, it takes X and Zero a long time to charge up enough to use a sabre, and if they attempt to fire when they are hit, they have to charge up again. My recommendation: Keep firing, and don't stay in one spot for more than a tenth of a second. Besides, X and Zero move really slow if they're not dashing. Jazz's walk is about twice as fast as X's, and his run is about one-and-a-half to two times as fast as X's dash. Not only that, but Jazz can sustain his run for a lot longer than X can his dash. Jazz is also much more maneuverable than X, being able to uppercut five times his height, jump incredible distances, etc. X, on the other hand, only really has his dashing maneuvers: the standard ground dash; the air-dash; and the vertical air-dash. Of course, X has an advantage where he can slide down walls and such, so that puts him at a relative equal with the Jackrabbits in the maneuverability department. As was mentioned earlier, a battle between the Jackrabbits and the Hunters would be almost perfectly even to both sides.

If it were Sonic vs. the Hunters, Sonic would win in a flash. Since X and Zero die instantly from being hit with spikes, all Sonic would have to do is hit them both once. I mean, Sonic is made of spikes! He's a walking Reploid death trap!

[DoubleGJ]

I managed to see him for two seconds, then he died. Used toaster on full rapid fire.

[Tmansdc]

well, back to sonic vs. jazz, it'd be a tie, what if Sonic went hyper-sonic? Huh? he'd kick butt, but I will always like Sonic more, simply because it was the first game i ever played and the first one i ever beat, if i would have played jazz first it might have been different.

[4I Falcon]

Very simply because if Jazz hit Sonic once before he went hyper, he'd have to collect another fifty (I believe) rings to even contemplate trying again. In this time Jazz would beable to hold him at bay long enough for the rings to disappear.

Voila. Toasted hedgehog.

Oh yeah, and btw, I believe it's "Super Sonic," not "Hyper Sonic," that Sonic transforms into. If I remember correctly, Hyper Sonic doesn't really even exist in all but one level, and even then, it's a glitch.

[Tmansdc]

Originally posted by 4I Falcon
Very simply because if Jazz hit Sonic once before he went hyper, he'd have to collect another fifty (I believe) rings to even contemplate trying again. In this time Jazz would beable to hold him at bay long enough for the rings to disappear.

Voila. Toasted hedgehog.

Oh yeah, and btw, I believe it's "Super Sonic," not "Hyper Sonic," that Sonic transforms into. If I remember correctly, Hyper Sonic doesn't really even exist in all but one level, and even then, it's a glitch.

You have to remember that Sonic flashes for about five seconds after he's hit, so he gets some invincibility. Also, there is a hyper-sonic, look on Sonic 3 with Sonic and Knuckles and get the seven chaos emeralds, then get the seven super emeralds, and lookee, HYPER-sonic!

(I think Jazz could beat every mascot in a fight except for MegaMan and related characters and Sonic the Hedgehog and related characters. Mario Sucks. Stupid Italian Plumber.)

[4I Falcon]

Originally posted by Tmansdc
You have to remember that Sonic flashes for about five seconds after he's hit, so he gets some invincibility. Also, there is a hyper-sonic, look on Sonic 3 with Sonic and Knuckles and get the seven chaos emeralds, then get the seven super emeralds, and lookee, HYPER-sonic!
Well, pardon myself, I haven't gotten that far yet. Schriese, I haven't even gotten all of the Chaos Emeralds yet.

Edit: My bad. It's Ultra Sonic that's a glitch somewhere.

I think Jazz could beat every mascot in a fight except for MegaMan and related characters...
Protoman! Proto Man! BLUES!
...and Sonic the Hedgehog and related characters.
Tails! ROXXOR!

Mario Sucks. Stupid Italian Plumber.
Oh hell yeah.

[Tubz]

A. 4I Falcon, since when does Zero charge. He actually has 2 weapons, 1 a z-buster that's unchargable and 2nd a z-saber. Now the zaber can merely be executed by pressing 1 button, and then you keep pressing that button to make a repetitive saber. So there is no more charging for Zero unlike what it was in X3.

B. Can we get back on topic, to Jazz vs. Zoonik! Not vs. Sonic!

[DoubleGJ]

Lori VS Knuckles. X-cellent martial arts fight.

[DrJones]

Now that would be an interesting match to see.

[Newspaz]

Originally posted by DrJones
Now that would be an interesting match to see.

I just knew DrJones would pop in sometime to make a comment like that ;)..

[the WINNER]

JAZZ
VS
PIKACHU!!!!!!!

Yay, pokemon! :p

[Tubz]

Hey, the Winner, only if Pikachu had Thunderbolt by either learning it in Pokemon Yellow or using the TM Thunderbolt to learn it. Also he might need Thunder. And then he'll whoop Jazz. Thundershock is too weak, and Jazz will receive minor damage & shocking.

Thunder Wave will be useful if Pikachu can target Jazz, cause Jazz is too fast. Swift is useless, as in too weak. Quick Attack & Agility are Ruxor, and will drastically help Pikachu. A couple of Agility powerups, then maybe a Quick Attack followed by a Thunder Bolt/Thunder and the match is in the bag for Pikachu.

Winner = Pikachu.

[Michael]

Bah I don't like the story d: first one maybe but (therefore) IMO sucked... kind of like a catfight. one pushes the other and the other calls her a **** or something and its just stupid /:
Hope they'll be longer next time (: