Tales of the Tavern

[Violet CLM]

Ok! Three months ago, December 5th, the last post in "Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back? - by various people" was made. This topic was the first War Stories topic made on the JCF (ok, actually, it was moved over from the JMMB), and lasted much longer (I'm pretty sure) then any of the many that inhabited the JMMB (once one seemed dead, a new one would be started.. I desperately want a JMMB War Tavern archive page..)
Anyway, "Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back? - by various people" lasted for a long time, with lots of plots and characters who didn't even exist (which was rare in the old topics, I seem to recall), but it started dieing some months ago, and then stopped altogether. Most of the old writers were gone, and the plots were too complex at that time to draw in any new writers, it seemed. (For those who do not know, the War Stories topics were big round robin stories with many many plots, usually - but not always - focused on the War Tavern itself, an unmappable building with infinite beer reserves and innumerable dark corners)
But now it's dead. And this is a new topic.


The War Tavern was still. So still, in fact, that it was uninhabited, save for Ducky and Night Fire, behind the bar, swapping memories in low undertones. The last customer had been two days ago, an old rabbit who was trying to find the way to some place neither of them had ever heard of. Neither of them had seen anyone they knew here for quite some time. It was as if the War Tavern, once active and lively (and frequently destroyed) was now and truly dead.
And it might have stayed that way, too, if not for the "Society For Bringing Fame and Recognition to Hitherto Ignored Historical Sites" had not come across the War Tavern, and decided to start (without the knowledge of either of the bartenders) a publicity campaign.

Unknown Rabbit was in a small gardening shed somewhere nearby the mansion of a figure whose name is ignored by history, where he had been allowed to spend the night, reading the newspaper. Tidings of the latest Diamondus-Jungrock war, photos of the first one legged iguanas to set one foot on the third moon from the left of the Planet of the Pig, and some article about how today's youth completely ignored historical sites, such as..
Unknown Rabbit, about to throw the newspaper to the floor and try to get some sleep, stopped and read on. The War Tavern.. memories.... such memories...... existance......... Gen..
Forgetting the comforts of the gardening shed, Unknown strode outside towards where he remembered the War Tavern to be, intent on finding the happiness it had brought him. When he wasn't dead.
Elsewhere on Carrotus and nearby worlds, other individuals were embarking from their homes with similar intentions.....




There! There are no posting restrictions other then that you should follow the plot (please?)...

[acid]

Among those flocking back to the tavern was Acid. He was also bringing his brother, Electrik, and his two cousins, Foo and Phish.

"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! FOO ISH COMINGISH!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! When are we leavingish?"
"Foo, if you keep your mouth open that long a wet rag will find it's way in there. We're leaving soon, with Phish's racer. BE PATIENT!" Acid said, but his point was obviously unclear to Foo, as he burst out into another bout of YAYAYAYs.
"Phish, when ARE we leaving?" asked Electrik.
"Just a moment, I've just got to calibrate the fusion engine and route the exaust, plus from the rock collision the thrust isn't going out right. Just a few minutes, I'd OOPS!"
There was a groan from Acid and Electrik, and a NERRRRRRRRRR! from Foo.
"Uh oh, is the fusion engine supposed to be glowing bright blue? Why did the exaust pipe just fly out?" Phish asked anyone who had the knowledge, specifically, nobody.
"I'll go out, and find some help," suggested Acid. He walked out the door.

I would ask that somebody continues from here. Whoever wants to can be asked for help by Acid! :D

[4I Falcon]

Jack Flash sat comfortably in a chair in a dark corner of the Tavern, accompanied by his good friend Capt. Firefox. They were on permissible leave from R.O.A.R.'s operations, and had immediately decided to spend their short period of restitution at the Tavern, for two reasons: to listen to some good war stories, and to get drunk out of their skulls. Unfortunately, neither of them took very well to the taste of alcohol, and since it's very difficult to get inebriated on shots of carrot fizz, they chose to abandon their second goal. They chuckled at Foo's antics as he... well, made a foo of himself. Ducky and Night Fire, per usual, remained behind the bar, serving up drinks, apparently somewhat surprised at the sudden influx of customers to the Tavern.

Jack rolled his eyes. Nothing very interesting had happened in the Tavern for too long, and his and Firefox's visit proved to be no exception. However, the monotony of the Tavern's limited activity was cut short as Phish's racer's engine exploded, sending the racer end-over-ending through the air. Firefox, startled by the sudden noise, whipped his head around, just in time to watch the racer smash back down onto the ground. He sighed, shaking his head, and grinning.

Jack didn't even have to turn around. "Let me guess. Acid?"
"Yep."
"Thought so."

Edit: I hate school keyboards.

[Tik]

Spaztic sat down upon his couch, he was exhausted. It had been a long day, for hours he had toiled in the Longspy Woods in search of some food - any food. After losing his job as local slacker to some guy named "Quist", he was out of pity donations. Forced to find food in the wild until he got up the energy to go into town and find a job, and with absolutely no hunting skills whatsoever, he was in a tough spot.

In a pointless attempt to ease his dilemma, he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. He flipped through some channels, but nothing seemed to grab his attention. Until he stumbled upon a commercial that, for some reason, caught him with a strange enthrallment.

"The War Tavern", said the announcer as the television displayed a rather homely, yet strangely familiar, building. "It is a historical heritage to Carrotus, a building holding tales and memories of love, war, sadness, and most importantly, beer." Spaztic scratched his furry chin. The War Tavern? He had heard the locals talking about it before...he remembered in the past he had always wondered what lied beyond its doors. He sat in thought as the TV announcer droned on and the commerical came to an end.

Suddenly, and much out of his nature, he jumped up. And thought, "Why not? What have I got to lose...besides, perhaps I can find a job, or at least meet some friends..." He gathered anything he thought useful, and the last of his money, and nearly ran out the door. The Tavern was less than half a mile away, he wondered why he had never visited it. Oh wait, that's right, he was the local slacker. A few people standing outside on the street nearly fell over at the site of Spaztic outside. His fur was completely black, as he almost never went outside. The sun's light was terrible on his eyes, but he figured that is something he should force himself to grow accustomed to.

As he walked he heard a terrific *boom*...what could that be? It seemed to come in the direction of the Tavern...perhaps more was going on than he expected...

[Coppertop]

lol, another one? Good job. Last one was a hit.

*BOOM*
"Oops."
Copper watched as Phish, now very much scorched and battered, walked back in. Another rabbit who she'd never seen before walked in after him, looking curious. It wasn't a surprise that she didn't recognize him; she wasn't here that often.
Acid came back in, just in time to catch the drink, that Foo had accidentally thrown, with his face. Foo was still spinning in circles, and Copper ducked as another cup went flying. She decided to move. Sitting here might be dangerous.
The new rabbit avoided Foo like the plague. She didn't blame him. Who could?
Phish was still looking a bit dazed, but was recovering rapidly. Copper snickered as he tried to keep Foo under control.

My little contribution.

[acid]

"FOO!!!!!" Acid sreamed at the top of his lungs. Foo spun around to face Acid, knocking twenty glasses off the counter in the process. Cheers rang out from the rest of the tavern, and somebody in the crowd held up a piece of paper with the number 10 on it. Foo grinned and bowed, while balancing another glass on his head.
"Yesh, Ashid?"
"You've got to stop doing this! At this rate, the War Tavern will be destroyed again within 3 hours!"
"NO!"
"We want Foo! We want Foo! We want Foo! We want Foo!" chanted the 'Taverners.
"Here, try another 'through the hoop!" said Firefox, handing his now empty shot glass to Foo.
Foo obliged and did a jump shot, and the glass landed neatly in a barrel of Muckamok ale.
Acid decided he would have no luck calming down Foo with all the other Taverners winding him up. He heard another shatter as Foo started bowling with the beer mugs.
Phish, meanwhile, was trying to find something to do. Alcohol did not appeal to him, and he was bored with Foo's antics. He walked over to Acid, and tried to get something out of him.
"Huh? Oh, what was happening before the War Tavern died? Well, as far as I can remember, they were going to hold a tournament. I had in fact entered it-"
"THAT'S IT!"
*crash!*
Everybody turned towards Phish at his outburst, just in time to miss Foo make a strike with the beer mugs.
"I know! In honor of reopening the War Tavern, we could hold another tournament!'
everybody looked at him for a second, then cheers rang out from the crowd.
"Yes! Let's hold a tournament! Same rules as last time-"
"No. Not the same rules. I think we should be original, and the superweapons were a bad idea."
everybody started discussing what the new tournament should be like...

[4I Falcon]

Jack was first to come up with a suggestion. "High-speed stuff! Things need to move quickly! Speed makes things more entertaining!"
Some of the crowd turned to look at him. Jack faltered slightly under their stare, as he had a mild fear of crowds. Luckily, Firefox took over for him. "Exactly! Rabbits are built for speed, aren't we? So, let's put our natural abilities to good use, eh?"
Jack brightened up again, in the light of Firefox's courage to speak. "Does anyone know Captain Falcon?"
There was a mass nodding of heads. Everyone had heard of Captain Falcon; he was all but infamous for his daredevil F-Zero racing at near supersonic velocities. Almost 90% of the Carrotan populace worshipped the Captain.
Jack rolled his eyes. "Personally?"
The positive reaction immediately stopped. Some of the rabbits scratched their heads, turned to others, or just stared at the floor.
Then a lone voice came from the back of the throng.
"I do."

[n0]

Just then, a Orange animal of some sort fell in through the roof, landing squarely on top of Foo. It jumped up, looked around and asked, "How did I... Where did you... What the...?" Copper leaned back and thought to herself "Looks like someone found a portal." Ducky called from over the bar "Welcome to the war tavern, Mr....?" "N0, Call me N0." "Well, N0, have a free drink on the house, and feel free to tell us how ya got here. It's easyer for us to get you home that way." N0 sat down with a rootbeer float and started telling his story. "It all started when I was born, but that is too big of a story. On Mechiaus, the planet I am from, there has been a war going on between the Mechs and the Orgas for hundreds of years. I live on the inner edge of the Orga Jungle, so when Ry came flying in to alert Jag that the Mechs were invading, I quickly finished my lunch and flew deep into the Jungle to meet them head on. The Mechs had gotten further than I had expected, and one of them shot me down. They must have wanted captives, because it wasn't deadly. By the time the stun had worn off, there where three mechs closing in around me. My wings had not yet become mobil, so my only option was to fight. I laid still on the ground, as if I was still stunned. One of the Mechs was close enough to kick now, so I did. I don't think he was expecting my nucular powered kick, and I doubt he will ever wake up. It took a second for the other two Mechs to compute exactly what happend to their comrade, and a second is long enough for me. Both of them got to taste just how sharp a light-blade can be. I was pumped, but I decided to try to cool down and strech out my wings before I tried to destroy a couple more mechas. So, as I was walking around the clearing, trying to strech out my wings, I triped and fell through a puddle. I didn't fall INTO the puddle, I fell through it, and landed on top of your friend here. Can anyone get me home? Because it doesn't look like the roof will be letting me back through."

*Edit*

Ack, Four Eye Falcon (not fourty-one) posted before I did. Imagine that my post goes between Acid and his.

`N0

[acid]

The crowd parted. Phish was standing there. "Hey, what did you expect? I gotta know the gaming universe's best racer if I participated if the yearly tournament. We were quite good friends, in fact. So, what kind of race are we going to have? I can do water ski, zero-g, car, spaceship, boat, hovercraft, you name it! However, you can NOT hold a footrace."

Jack sighed. "Allow me to repeat Firefox: let's put our NATURAL abilities to good use."

Phish fell over. Foo dumped a glass of carrot fizz on his head.

"However, that might be a good idea, everyone could have a certain amount of time to construct/acquire a vehicle, then hold a race. But we still have the question: what kind of race?" suggested Firefox.

Phish sat up. "How about a triathalon? They drive a car over an expanse of flat ground, transform it into a boat to travel across some sort of lake, then transform it into some sort of aircraft to fly the last expanse." he grinned evilly. "Weapons could, of course, be attatched to the vehicle."

[Tik]

When Spaztic arrived at the Tavern, a group of hyperactive rabbits were doing some strange nonsense. A particular rabbit, who was named "Foo", it seemed, was acting especially odd. Spaztic did his best to avoid the young chap as he wandered in.

The Tavern seemed like the perfect meeting place. The misty atmosphere and ancient wood structures gave him the feeling this place was full of years of lore, stories, and excitement. Spaztic went to the counter, grabbed a free ale (free ale? this place sounded like heaven), and found a dark corner to sit and observe the others. He wasn't there particularly to socialize...he figured if anyone was so inclined to talk to him, they would talk. For now he would enjoy listening to what usually went on.

It seemed someone wanted to start a competition. Or something. Spaztic didn't feel exactly too thrilled. A race? He knew already that joining would be a vain pursuit...he was, after all, the ex-local slacker. He listened closer...they seemed to be looking for someone. 4I Falcon? Foo? Phish? Who were these people? He had always heard about the more "legendary" War Taverners. He wondered where they were...

[defalcon]

Originally posted by Spaztic
He had always heard about the more "legendary" War Taverners. He wondered where they were...
They're all grown up and have jobs. ;) But on a more serious matter, if the tavern isn't blown up at least once somewhere along the course of this thread it isn't a tavern story. ;)

[Violet CLM]

The legendary War Taverners may be gone, but we can certainly post about them as if they're here..


BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was, of course, in the Tavern. He had doubtlessly missed a great number of business deals before arriving when the Tavern was revived last time, and he had no wish to repeat the mistake. Of course, his dramatic official entrance would have to be much more self serving then setting up shop in the basement, and being knived in the back by Devan Shell.
This tournament seemed like a good way to do this. He could establish himself as the leading person when it came to event arranging and selling cheap trinkets with claims about their worth, and make some money on sign up fees and merchandising at the same time.
And so it was that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ erected a quick stall next to the bar, with a sign reading "Sign up for the big Trialathon - only one thousand Carrotian Credits! Great prizes available for all who end up deserving them."

This, of course, cemented the idea of having the race be a Trialathon rather handily. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had taken out a patent on selling relatively worthless items and organizing events some time ago, so GenEX would stop infringing on his business. It doubled as preventing anyone else from trying to hold other tournaments without giving him a very large percentage of the profits, of course.

[Ducky]

"Just ...keep the more physical events outside, okay guys?"

Ducky waved at a newcomer and went over to turn the jukebox back to Green Day's Minority for the third time.

[4I Falcon]

Originally posted by Spaztic
He listened closer...they seemed to be looking for someone. 4I Falcon? Foo? Phish? Who were these people?

Last I checked, 4I Falcon doesn't exist in the JJ2 universe.

Jack Flash does.

[Tik]

Last I checked, I was new around here ;p

Sorry, Captain Falcon or Jack Flash or whoever you are =P

[Blackraptor]

Then, Blackraptor was walking down the street, passing the war tavern as if it wasnt there. Until he heard all the cheering.
"Hmmmm....what can possibly be going on in there," he thought,"Maybe I should check it out!"
So as Blackraptor entered the building, he heard the crowd cheering Triathalon.
It has been a while since Blackraptor got his lazy butt of the computer chair, and he needed some exercise. He thought about signing up. "What have I got to loose, raptors are very quick!"
Blackraptor's mind was made up, he was definately entering.

[4I Falcon]

Originally posted by Spaztic
Last I checked, I was new around here ;p

Sorry, Captain Falcon or Jack Flash or whoever you are =P

Well, at least you didn't call me 41 Falcon.

*brandishes sledgehammer*

[Coppertop]

lol, won't make THAT mistake again.:p

Copper ignored them. The only vehicle she was interested in was her ship Assassin, renamed the Phantom Eclipse. She DEFINITELY was not going to make a fool out of herself, unlike Acid's cousin Foo there. Of course, Foo couldn't help it. She could.
That new rabbit looked a bit lost. She decided to take her mind off of this race thing by introducing him to the Taverners. Maybe he would get caught up in it, too. Then she would leave, her job done.
She got up and walked over.
"Hi. Welcome to the Tavern ... I guess you're new here, huh?"

[acid]

What new rabbit? Last I checked, Spaztic was a squirrel and Blackraptor was a raptor, and N0' was not a rabbit.

[Coppertop]

Whoops, sorry. Typo.:roll:

[Elias FF]

Just as Copper finished her question, a loud yell could be heard outside of the tavern. This was quickly followed by a deafening boom as a lone rabbit crashed through the wooden roof of the tavern and went head-first right through the jukebox. Sparks of electricity flew through the air as the rabbit finally plunged onto the floor opposite of where he first entered, nearly knocking himself out in the process.

"Oh, geez! Defalcon, did you have to open your big mouth about the tavern blowing up?!" Ducky exclaimed. "Because of you, it now has TWO gaping holes in the roof! On top of that, the jukebox is... or should I say was... a collector's item!"

"Sorry...."

Just then, the unexpected visitor emitted a low groan of pain. "Ugh. D... Did anyone... get the l-license p-pl-plate number... of that... Schwartzenguard t-that ran... over m-m-me?"

With that, the stranger promptly collapsed.

"Whoever he is, he's delirious. That must have really hurt," Acid stated.

"Well, duh! Of course it had to hurt!" Ducky retorted. "That isn't exactly what I call a gentle landing!"

"Maybe we should help him get up and into a chair," Copper suggested. "At least he'll be off the ground that way."

"Good idea," 4I Falcon replied.

As Copper and 4I proceeded to pick the visitor up, Ducky cleared a spot at a nearby table. As the trio proceeded to set him down, the necklace that he had been wearing broke, causing something to fall to the ground with a thud. Ducky reached down to pick it up, only to find the object to be quite familiar.

It was a medallion... a sapphire-blue medallion, with a relief of a Jaguar etched into it. Ducky reached down and picked it up, still not believing what it was.

"Ducky? Is something wrong?" Copper questioned.

Ducky continued looking at the object. "This medallion..." she began, "only one person I know of has a medallion like this."

"Who?"

"Elias, is that really you?!"

When Ducky didn't receive an answer, she gently began to shake him, trying to coax him out of his unconsciousness. "C'mon, Elias! I know you can hear me!"

There was still no response. Ducky, now getting upset, began yelling. "Elias! If this is supposed to be a joke, it's not funny! Now, wake up already!"

"Yo, Ducky! Go easy on him! He just crashed through a roof and a jukebox! How is anyone supposed to wake up so fast after fainting from that?" 4I questioned.

"Puh. He's always making dramatic entrances like this! This time, however, he's gone too far! Excuse me a minute...."

Ducky went back to the storage room behind the Tavern, only to come back moments later with an Admin Rod. "Let's see you stay unconscious from THIS! "

With that, the aforementioned administrator gave a solid smack to Elias's head with her Rod. Needless to say, it did the trick.

"EEEEEEE-YOWCH!!!" Elias shouted, nearly hitting the ceiling of the Tavern... again... before falling back into his chair.

"Well, well, well! It's about time you woke up!"

"Nice to see you too, Ducky. Although next time, warn me before you use that, all right?!"

"Whatever you say, Elias," Ducky replied.

"...And I'll be happy to take my medallion back, thank you!"

"It's not my color, anyway!" the admin stated, handing the medallion back. "Now, do you want something to drink?"

"Just some Carrot Juice. Maybe it can get rid of this massive headache you gave me!" Elias stated, rubbing his head.

"One Carrot Juice, coming right up!"

"She hasn't changed a bit. "

-------

Elias FF-- A daredevil he is not! :rolleyes:

[4I Falcon]

See my second most recent post in this thread.

Since you're apparently famous, I won't whack you with the Sledgehammer of Discrete Geometry. This time.

[acid]

"Ooyay! Audienshe!"
Foo took Elias's entrance as a signal to continue his performance. He started juggling beer mugs.

Elias looked over at Foo. "Who the heck is that guy?!?"
Ducky sighed. "Foo."
"What's wrong?"
"No, Foo is his name!"
"Oh. I can see why. Heh."



BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, meanwhile, started writing a 2-hour long list of vehicles and weapons that were banned. He knew the importance of pointlessly going into very precise detail. (i.e. things like saying that missile launchers and rocket launchers and bazookas and swarmers are all banned, instead of just saying missile weapons were banned)

The 'Taverners decided they would help with making the tournament too, this time.
"Nah, not something from far away that you didn't have before this time, the Tavern died before anyone got anything!"
"We should have that! The Tavern's not going to die this soon!"
"That idea was stupid anyways."
"Say that you can't build it!"
"WHAT? NO!!!"
"Yes! If we don't, Acid automatically gets a huge advantage!"
"No, I've got a better idea. Acid isn't in the tournament, but he builds the vehicles!"
"HECK NO!!!"



Copper sighed. This was one of the reasons she didn't want to be in the triathalon. However, there didn't seem like there was much to do otherwise...

[Ducky]

"I'll give a free Braggarian Goo to anyone who doesn't join the triathalon. Celebratory of Elias's return, of course."

Ducky bounced with glee, glad she wasn't the only oldie anymore.

[4I Falcon]

Blaze, who had been inside for the last twenty minutes, and had not yet been noticed, sidled up to Ducky, on the opposite side of the bar. "Just so ya know, I'm not entering, so at least you'll have some company back here when all these idiots go racing around the planet, or whatever they're doing. I'm not much for speed; it's not very professional for a spy to go racing around somewhere. One just ends up looking strange."
Ducky looked at the obsidian rabbit inquisitively. "Oh? If you don't run, then how did you get those legs of yours?"
"Thank you for noticing, but they're not from running. I work out when I have nothing else to do."
Ducky nodded, knowingly. "Ah. So, can I get you a Braggarian Goo, or what?"
"No thanks, ma'am. The stuff sticks in my throat; I'm not partial to anything more viscous than water. I'll just have one of those ales that you have."
Blaze had hardly finished his sentence as a mug slid down the bar at him. Ducky smiled. "Enjoy."

Jack, befuddled by the sudden commotion, elbowed Firefox in the ribs. "NATURAL abilites? I was hoping for some high-speed vehicles, you moron! Bikes and ships and stuff! Not another footrace! I'm sick of them!"
"Huh? You were the one who said it in the first place!" Firefox shot back, indignantly. "And you're just sick of footraces because I beat you in every one!"
"Oh really?" Jack retorted, cocking an eyebrow. "If I recall correctly, you were begging me for a 2 out of 3 last time we competed! And I beat you again!"
"What are you talking about? I'm faster than you, and I always have been!"
"Yeah, right! That's completely not true, and you know it!"
"Is that so?"
"Very so!"
"Well then, let's see you try to beat me right here, right now!"
Jack was taken aback slightly. "Now? Like, right this second?"
"No, now as in this time two years from today. Of course, now as in now!"
Jack put on his poker face again. "Okay then, mister too-big-for-his-pants, we'll see who's faster! We'll start from this floorboard, right here! Out the door, and straight forward, full speed! First one to Carrotus Castle wins!"
Firefox was about to agree on these terms, but then realized something. Pointing away to his right, he said, "You idiot! Carrotus City is that way!"
Jack shrugged. "Okay, fine. First one to... uh..."
"Ouistreham..." Firefox suggested.
"Yeah, sure... Ouistreham... wins. All or nothing."
"Sounds good."
They both crouched down at the floorboard in question, ready to take off. Intending to catch his opponent by surprise, Jack waited for a few seconds, then suddenly exclaimed, "READYSETGO!"
However, Firefox's reaction time was not as slow as he had expected, as they both took off from the mark at the exact same time. Firefox had what could only be described as a triumphant grin on his face as he ran pace for pace with Jack.
Unfortunately for both of them, BeAuMaN was pointing at something on the opposite wall, and had his arm outstretched. Both Jack and Firefox ran headlong into his arm, being inadvertently clotheslined in the process. Both rabbit racers flipped backwards, with a loud "YAWOOP!" heard from Jack, and slammed the backs of their heads into the hard polished floorboards.
They were both out cold. Ducky and Night Fire both leaned over the bar to see what had just happened, and a crowd began to form around the two unconscious rabbits. Scratching his head and clearing his throat, looking down on the pair of hapless hares, Acid stated simply, "Well... that was... uh, interesting..."
Blaze couldn't help chuckling at the mindless antics of his two partners as he took another swig of his ale.

[acid]

Foo looked at Jack and Firefox for a second, then walked up to Ducky. "One Muckamok ale, pleash!" Ducky handed him his drink, and Foo handed Ducky 2000 carrotian credits.
"...Would you like change?" Ducky asked, surprised.
"FOO! A muckamok ale is 20 carrotian credits! NOT 2000!"
"Okie!" Foo pulled out 20 carrotian credits and handed them to Ducky.
"NOT 2020! JUST 20! Take the 2000 back!"
"Okie!" Foo smiled sheepishly and grabbed the credits, and handed them to Acid. Then he picked up the ale and dumped it over Jack and Firefox. This woke them up, and very quick at that.
"Hey, guysh! It'sh already been deshided! No footrace! Vehiclesh that go vwoom vwoom! AND WEAPONSH!!!" With that said, Foo took off around the room at top speed.
Acid leaned over to Electrik. "Bet you 1000 credits neither of them could beat Foo."
"Hey, I don't need to bet; I know!" Electrik replied with a grin.

[Coppertop]

"Why didn't they duck?"
"I have no idea."

[Elias FF]

Elias looked over at the group, wonder just what he had interrupted this time. "OK, what's going on here?"

"They want to hold some sort of competition. A triathalon, if I remember correctly," Ducky replied. "I honestly don't see the point of it, though."

"You aren't the only one. Besides, from what I'm picking up, this isn't even close to a triathalon! Whoever heard of motorized vehicles in such an event? Or missile weapons, for that matter?"

"I know I haven't, but you know how crazy rabbits can get, right?"

"Yeah."

"By the way," Ducky began, "just what caused you to come in through the roof of the tavern?"

"A slight error on my part. In case you forgot, I happened to learn how to shoot fireballs from my palms while in my jaguar form about a year and a half ago."

"That I remember."

"Well, I was training to make it more powerful, as usual, when I got attacked. When I sent my fireball at my foe, not only did the creep absorb it, but he sent it back at me at twice the original power!"

"I'm afraid I don't quite follow you."

"What I'm saying is that there are beings that can absorb elemental attacks and hurl them right back at the original user! It was my bad luck that I happened to run into one that could absorb fire. Needless to say, when I tried to shield myself from it with one of my own fireballs, the resulting collision caused a massive explosion... which is why I'm here now. You might want to warn anyone who's got an elemental weapon or power to be careful. You never know when they might attack!"

Ducky just stared at Elias for a few moments. "If that's the case, how come we didn't hear it?"

"Well, gee... probably because it happened thirty miles away from here!" Elias replied, drinking the rest of his juice.

"Thirty miles, eh? I find that hard to believe. Unless, of course, that power of yours is around ten times stonger than it originally was."

"Don't make me test it on you...."

"Whatever you say, Elias."

The duo turned back toward the crowd, who was now busy with...

-------

Elias FF-- Master of suspense! (Yeah, right!) :lol:

[Tik]

Spaztic looked around from his dark corner in the Tavern, sipping his ale in amusement. He took out a wooden pipe and before lighting up wondered to himself if it was okay in the Tavern to smoke. And just that moment there was a tremendous crash...someone fe;ll through the roof. Again. But no one seemed all too shocked. Spaztic laughed as he figured lighting up wouldn't be too much of a big deal if people were crashing through the roof and things were blowing up all the time.

This place never ceased to be full of suprises. Spaztic noticed a female rabbit walking in his direction just as the rabbit crashed through the roof, but that crash diverted the rabbit's attention to the (most probably) injured rabbit. A couple other rabbits joined her in taking care of the crasher.

Soon thereafter the talks about a triatholon began to grow. Spaztic had absolutely no interest in participation, and contented himself once again to sit in his little lair watching. Then he noticed another female rabbit saying she would give a free drink to anyone not participation. Spaztic hopped up, figuring he might as well try to meet someone at his first visit. He took in a lot of smoke, and walked over to the pub. When he arrived, the girl, who he later learned was named Ducky, was chatting with the rabbit who all too recently fell through the roof. His name was Elias. He was going on about some sort of special energy powers. Spaztic shrugged and sat at his seat sipping his drink as all hell seemed to break loose in the background from the 'triatholon'

The bartender came by him "New here, eh?"

Spaztic nodded and tried to smile. "Yeah, looking for a little excitement, I guess."

"Well you've come to the right place. Say, we don't get many squirrels around here. Especially of your color. What's your story?"

Spaztic laughed. "My story? I am lazy, I almost never went outside, and now I realize I need a little something more than just free sympathy and a TV. So I'm here looking for some excitement...maybe some friends, or a job."

The bartender sighed. "Sometimes a common tale. I'll tell you what though, there's a room back there. It's a bit new, you see, it's called the Interactive Room officially, but us staff call it The Pod. It's a little room with some equipment that let you experience an adventure...an adventure that you must create yourself. I'll let you try it out, but you'll need someone else to go with you. Makes it more fun. Maybe you'll meet a friend."

Spaztic rubbed his chin and took a hit from his pipe. Who would go with him into this adventure? He knew no one, he thought. And with nothing to lose, he figured the best way to get people's attention was to do something random. So he jumped onto the table and threw a bunch of beer mugs against a wall causing them to explode into shards and making a wonderful clatter. Suddenly (most) eyes were on him...with a sudden lost for words from doing something completely out of his nature, Spaztic said simply, "Any takers?" And to his suprise, someone piped in...

[acid]

"Foo wantsh to go wif Shpazzytic!!!"
Spaztic blinked. "Which one of you is Foo?"
"MEH!!! FOO ISH MEH!!!"
Spaztic blinked again, then told Foo to come with him to the pod. They started to walk down the stairs, then foo had a question.
"How long will tis take?"
Ducky answered for him.
"It depends, really, you can take anywhere from 1 minute to 2 years!"
"FOO WANNA DO TRIATHALON!!!"
"Well, since you make your own adventure, you can try to make one that won't take too long..."

Acid watched as the strange squirrel who apparently was known as Spaztic, and his cousin, Foo descended the staircase to 'the pod'. He wondered what would be down there, and worried a litte for Foo. Telling himself nothing could go wrong, he shook off his worries and continued with the friendly banter in the Tavern.

Just outside, a dark figure was watching. He didn't know what was going on. That rundown old place was like a light bulb now. He wondered why. He was hearing something about a triathalon from inside. Bah! What good was this crummy old shack anyways. He decided he would return tomarrow, to see what all this commotion was all about. With a sweep of his cloak, he was gone.

[Coppertop]

Evil.

Copper went back to ignoring the hyperactive Taverners. It wasn't that hard, all told. She diverted her attention to outside.
There was a flash of movement that she barely saw. Then all was still. She shrugged.
Must have been a trick of the light ...
Then the power went out.

Short parts can be good. Right?

[4I Falcon]

"Hey! What in the name of...? Watch where you put that elbow! Ow! Hey, what...?! GET OFF MY FEET!" A clamour of voices rang out through the Tavern as the various occupants banged into each other, and everything else. About the only two protected were Ducky and Night Fire, still behind the bar.
Then, in the middle of the room, one rabbit came into view. It was only him, though, as if a spotlight was shining on him. Electrik's fur had turned a bright, almost fluorescent blue, and he was actually producing light as he charged his fur. This effect only lasted for a few seconds, though, as he apparently burnt himself out; but this was all that was needed for the two barkeeps to assess the problem.
Soon enough, the power returned. Ducky was standing at the fuse box, holding the burnt-out piece of equipment: Acid had hold of Jack's ears, not knowing what they were; Firefox and Elias were both on the floor, after painfully knocking heads with some force; Blaze had narrowly avoided being trampled as he pressed himself against the bar; and both Phish's and Coppertop's normally well-groomed fur was standing straight out after getting a bit too close to Electrik's light display.
Ducky glanced out the window. She was sure something had moved outside, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was...
There it was! It had just glided swiftly past the other window. She wasn't sure what, or who, it was, and she was about to go out and identify it herself before Night Fire vaulted over the bar, brushed past the now disentangled Acid and Jack, and opened the door. All of the occupants looked outside, expectant to see who this dark figure was.
For as far as the eye could see, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Green grass, the occasional carrot sticking out of the ground, and blue, partly cloudy skies above. Nothing atypical about anything.
Night Fire slowly closed the door. Inwardly, he had been hoping for something surprising and shocking, to have something completely unexpected happen as he opened the door.
A few seconds later, he got his wish.

[acid]

however, he did not like the way his wish was granted. As he was turning around to go back to the bar, the door flew open and smashed him against the wall. Everybody looked out the door. Nothing was there.

[Violet CLM]

Meanwhile..
Spaztic looked at Foo uncertainly. "Ok.. you sit over there."
"OKAYA!" cried Foo, and bounded into the seat Spaztic had not indicated.
"No, not that on-!" Spaztic cried, but it was too late. The 'pod' was taking Foo's brain waves and creating a world of adventure out of them.. one that was decidedly insane and unsafe. Spaztic hurriedly sat down into the other chair, so there would be someone to keep an eye on Foo.
There was a "woooosh", a "splriin", a "gwavorp", a "spli-shuuu", and the 'pod' vanished.

[Tik]

Just as the Pod vanished Spaztic found himself standing in the middle of what looked to be a vast rain forest. Looking around he realized Foo was running around trying to climb trees and yelling wildly.

"Wow, this is extremely realistic", Spaztic commented to himself as the sun began to make his skin sweat and his fur clumped. Squirrels weren't designed for rain forests, after all.

"And what exactly are you trying to accomplish?" Spaztic asked Foo, still trying to climb the trees.

"FOO WANT FOOD!" he screamed wildly. Spaztic nodded, realizing this was certainly going to be an interesting adventure.

"Do you always speak in third person?" asked Spaztic sarcastically as he jumped onto the tree and climbed up easily, knocking down some food for the crazy rabbit. Immediantly Foo jumped down, slamming into the ground, rolling around, and then leaping back up and grabbed the food and began eating wildly.

Just then Spaztic looked out into the distance and noticed something that shocked him. He nearly fell off of the branch he was on...it may have been a rain forest, but it seemed it was definetly not foreign to technology. He stood up on the branch and prepared himself for the danger coming ahead...

[Coppertop]

Copper scowled at Electrik. Things like that irritated her, and having her fur stand on end was one of them. Uncomfortableness, to say the least.
Night Fire was peeling himself off the wall and he shut the door again, making a dash for the counter. The door thumped open again. Copper scowled at the door, too. It was letting in a draft.
"Is that thing spring-loaded or something?"
Unfortunately, that was not the problem. It was much, much worse than that ...

I won't bother with your thing, Spaztic. No idea what you want to happen:)

[Tik]

Originally posted by Coppertop
I won't bother with your thing, Spaztic. No idea what you want to happen:) Nah, I don't really mind what happens next. If you wanna take a stab at it go ahead :)

[acid]

meanwhile in the pod...

"Foo, why the heck did you make this adventure?"
"Foo Wantsh short adventure!"
Foo jumped up and down in anticipation of the large mech.
"It doesn't have to be THIS short!"
"FOO WANTSH SHORT ADVENTURE!!!"
"Okay, but next time I get to make it."
The approaching mech knocked over a tree. A lot of trees fell in its path, a little like dominoes. Smaller trees were just getting smashed.
"FOO LIKEY ADVENTURE!"
The mech fired a flamethrower. The top of the rainforest caught on fire.
"What kind of items did you give us?"
"Oh, tat. Here!"
Foo pulled a gun that was bigger than he was. It had a smiley face on the side. He gave an identical one to spaztic, except it had a peace symbol on its side.
Foo pulled the trigger and a large smiley face beam shot out of the cannon, striking the mech in the middle. It teetered for a second, during which Spaztic shot it with his gun. The mech exploded, and the War Tavern basement came back into view. Foo jumped up out of his seat, offering it to Spaztic.

[4I Falcon]

Spaztic took a seat, and put it in his pocket for later... *is shot*

[Alister]

Toxic Bunny settled into his cosiest beanbag and opened his newspaper. It had been a busy day. Running a one-man TV station wasn't easy. His eyes drifted lazily over the news of the Diamondus-Jungrock war. Another thing too far away for him to report on. His news programme needed something, but it seemed that nothing interesting ever happened in Tholian, his home town. He got up to make himself a cup of hot chocolate. On the way, he switched on the television. The Tholian Regional Television symbol appeared. Though he was proud if his handiwork, He changed the channel to CBC News.
"..and most importantly, beer."
Typical. They'd been showing that story for ages. He opened the fridge and took out the milk, only to discover that there was none left.
"Drat!" he exclaimed.
"Welcome back. In our top story tonight..."
Toxic hurried back to the TV. he mustn't miss the top story...
Wait... Welcome back? So that thing about the War Tavern was a commercial? The war tavern was only a few kilometres away. It would make an excellent report.
A few minutes later, the house was silent, except for the humming of the broadcasting equipment. Toxic was on his bike, pedalling like mad for the War Tavern.

[Tik]

Spaztic sat down in the seat, happy to finally have a little control from Foo's insane but quickly finished adventure. He relaxed in the seat, thinking about a place he might like to go. Suddenly everything began fading...

...Spaztic opened his eyes and found himself standing in a circular clearing in some trees. At his left Foo was jumping up and down widly waiting for the adventure to begin. "So this is all I get, eh?" said Spaztic. "What next?" Foo stood, looking at him impatiently. So, how did the adventure begin? What exactly did all of this entail?

"C'MON!" yelled Foo, "FOO WANTS ACTION!" the rabbit began jumping around punching the air widly. Spaztic was confused if he should wait for something to happen or if he should think it. Then he realized there wasn't much time to think at all. All of the sudden Foo stopped jumping around and his face shot straight upward, his eyes bulging and his jaw hanging.

Spaztic directed his attention towards the sky and nearly fell backwards. There was some beast, flying in the air. It looked like it could be a huge eagle, or a dragon, or maybe not even an animal. Perhaps some sort of ship? Whatever it was, it began lowering itself into the clearing. Foo turned around began running away wildly. Before Spaztic could yell for Foo to come back, the entity had landed and he could finally see what the object was. It was not an animal, indeed, but it was a large ship shaped like an eagle. A door in the side opened and out came a rabbit dressed in robes.

"Hail, friends" the rabbit said. "We knew you would be here. Please, step inside and we will take you to your mission." Spaztic shrugged...sounded good enough. Where they were going, the purpose, everything, was all still a mystery. And Spaztic knew he could stop the Pod at any time. Right?

*Page Claim for Friday*

[Coppertop]

Wrong! Mwahahahaha! }>

[Grath AR]

Suddenly, yet another hole was blown in the roof, and a human swings into the tavern. He promptly detached his cord... and landed in a huge vat of Tubelectric static shock vodka, the only drink that makes your hair stand on end while making you drunk.

[4I Falcon]

Firefox scratched his head, grinning. "If only I had noticed THAT earlier. That looks like some fun stuff, eh Jack?"
"Yes. Funny. Ha." Jack was not pleased that Foo had dumped a whole bunch of Muckamok ale on him, and was wringing his long ears out in a vain attempt to rid his fur of the strong smell of the drink.
Firefox gave Jack a friendly punch to the shoulder. "C'mon, man, it's only ale. Not like you don't like the stuff."
However, Jack was not one to be mollified that easily. "Bug off, Firefox; I happen to have this tendency to want to look presentable." He shoved the Captain away, sending him backpedalling a few steps.
Firefox was clearly not impressed. "Oh really? Is that how we're going to play this out? Well, fine then!" He pushed Jack just hard enough to make him topple over onto his side.
Jack quickly got up, trying to save face, and charged at Firefox, teeth bared and fists cocked.

And so began...

THE BRAWL!

[acid]

Everybody in the tavern soon started picking sides and cheering the two on, as they bit, clawed, punched, kicked, rolled, mangled, mutilated and bashed each other across the floor. Electrik had sided with FireFox, while Acid thought Jack Flash definiteley had the better chance. The two, in their argument about who would win THE BRAWL started their own brawl themselves! Other pairs in the tavern were doing the same, and it wasn't long until the tavern was a huge mass of fighting animals.



Hehehe... I like elevating things! }>

[4I Falcon]

Between punches, Jack managed to gasp out, "Ducky's going to see this, and she's going to whack us all with a flaming trout, you realize that?"
"Very true," Firefox replied, as he sent another balled fist flying at Jack's forehead.

[Alister]

In the distance, Toxic could see the windows of the Tavern glowing in the twilight. Despite the ensuing darkness, he was making good time. He was just noting that his feet were getting tired, when pedalling became far easier. He stopped and looked down. Drat. His chain had broken. Well, it wasn't too far, he could always walk. He chained his bicycle to the railings outside a nearby hardware store, and set off.
As he neared the tavern, he could hear shouting and the sounds of breaking glass, furniture, and watermelons. He reached into his backpack and took out a shiny new video camera. Well, it was shiny, at least. He hadn't been able to afford a new one as nobody ever watched his channel.
Eventually he arrived at the tavern, just in time to see Acid flying through the window. Toxic started picking bits of glass out of his fur.
"S'rry" mumbled Acid, and hastily clambered back inside. Preferring to enter by the main entrance, Toxic decided to head for the front of the Tavern. He hit the "Record" button on his camera, and set off with it raised to his eye. As he rounded the corner, an horrific sight filled the viewfinder.

[Ducky]

Ducky emerged from the wine cellars with a keg of malt beer for the Dwarf fanciers.

"Ow! What are you doing? Get out of my geraniums!" She stared wearily at the Brawling taverners, but outside a scream pierced the air. For a moment the fighting paused.
Toxic galloped in, his camera dangling from his paw.
"They've put up an office and apartment complex next door!"

A tankard of ale tipped over and streamed off the edge of the table into Jack*who is jack?*'s ear. The fighting continued.
"Come have a drink, Toxic. Carrot juice?"
"I think I need something stronger." He staggered onto a bar stool, eyes wide, as a rabbit flew past him, smashing into the wall. A few mugs fell off the shelf.
"Can you try and keep it down to a dull roar? And stay away from the cherry table!" Ducky irritabley banged a drink down.

[acid]

Ironically, it was that moment one of the taverner's punches missed and snapped the cherry table in two. Ducky sighed, and then offered Toxic a drink. Toxic gulped half the glass down, then started to tell Ducky what he had seen.

"An office and apartment complex! They're setting it up right next door!"
"Whoa, slow down Toxic! Who's setting up this complex?"
"I'm not sure, but I don't like the looks of it. It looks like it's going to get bigger, and it's boxed in on all sides. I would guess any day they would be trying to bulldoze this tavern to get the land!"
Phish detatched himself from the mass of fighters, as he hadn't wanted to be in THE BRAWL in the first place.
"What are you saying about a complex?"
"Right next door! An apartment and office complex!"
"HEY!!! THAT'S RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF WHERE THE RACE TRACK WAS GOING TO BE!!!"
"It gets worse! From the looks of it, they're probably going to want to get rid of the Tavern to make room for more apartments!"
"This is bad. We have to-OOF!!!"
at that point, a wayward taverner flew out of the crowd and bowled over Phish, slamming both of them into the wall, then rolling back into the fight, taking Phish with them.
"HEY! Be a little more careful!" shouted Ducky over the noise.



BTW, Ducky, Jack is short for Jack Flash, 4I Falcon's character.

[Violet CLM]

"..wait." said Ducky, a red light coming into her eyes. "My Cherry Table. The Cherry Table everyone was murdered at, and people played games at, and got almost buried, and taken off to another planet and back, but was never destroyed.. and you BROKE IT!"
Ducky's unexpected roar brought the fight to an unexpected halt. Taverners stopped short in mid punch, swing, or swallow to look fearfully at her very wrathful and impressive wrath, which was quite impressive and wrathful by now. Smoke was coming out of her ears, which were standing straight up, and the previously unassuming glass in her paw looked like a likely murder weapon. Yep, Ducky sure was attached to that Cherry Table.

[4I Falcon]

Firefox gulped visibly. "And to think, I had been hoping it was just a flaming trout we would be whacked with..."

[Coppertop]

Fistfights ... yuck.
Sorry, 4I, no trout here ...

[4I Falcon]

That's what I was afraid of... :(

[Elias FF]

OoC: It never fails... I always end up in a brawl every time I come here.
---------------------

Elias, who had been dragged into the fight due to a misplaced punch by Copper, looked up to notice Ducky's furious expression. Needless to say, he did NOT like what he saw. Smoke continued to blow from her ears, which now stood up so straight that they looked like they were ready to rip off of her head. It was clear that she was in a rage over the cherry table; she looked as if she was ready to kill all those involved.

"Hoo, boy. This doesn't look good," Elias thought to himself.

"All right... who broke my cherry table?! You've got three seconds to confess before I wreak havoc on all of you!"

"I know it wasn't me. I didn't even know you had a cherry table," Elias replied.

"IT WAS THE SAME TABLE YOU WERE JUST SITTING AT A FEW MOMENTS AGO, YOU NITWIT!!!"

Everybody's ears were now ringing due to the noise level of Ducky's roaring. By the time it subsided to a tolerable level, Ducky was making her way to the front of the bar, Admin Rod in one hand... and a flaming trout in another!"

"Speak now, and I may show mercy. Otherwise..."

Ducky spun both objects around for a few moments before assuming a ninja-like pose.

"You ALL get bashed by both!"
---------------------

Elias FF-- A rabbit who needs to come here more often....

[4I Falcon]

Each and every one of the occupants of the Tavern gasped, gulped, or came dangerously close to passing out. Everyone who had previously been Whack!ed with the Admin Rod knew the enormous amount of pain that the Rod bestowed upon its target; the same went for everyone who had not been Whack!ed before. The rabbits looked to each other, then back to Ducky nervously.
In an atypical bout of bravery, Acid spoke up. "Um... Ducky..." he began, in a tiny voice.
Ducky whirled on him. "What?!!"
"Um... what would happen if... perchance... one of us did... happen to 'fess up?"
Ducky looked ready to fire off another rage-bound sentence, but then realized that she didn't have one ready. She rested her chin on her left hand, which was the one holding the Admin Rod. The trout was still afire, and she definitely was not partial to setting her face on fire. "Come to think of it, I don't know what would happen. But I can assure you that it would be really, really bad."
There was another mass gulp, and an ominous silence followed.

[acid]

a cow passing outside decided to share his thoughts:

"Moooooo."

A venturous taverner piped up.

"The cow did it!"

Nobody listened to him, except for Ducky, who brandished her admin rod dangerously.

[4I Falcon]

Jack looked out the window, forgetting himself. "We have cows outside?"
Ducky silenced him again with a dangerous glare, and an imitant swipe of the Admin Rod.

[Coppertop]

Copper raised her hands defensively. "Don't look at me. I wasn't even NEAR your table. Heck, I was on the other side of the room."
The other taverners moved uneasily ...

[acid]

Ducky glanced back at the cherry table. The few unfortunate enough to be standing there tried to edge away. Except for one.
"PHISH, ARE YOU ADMITTING THAT YOU BROKE MY CHERRY TABLE?!?!?"
Phish jumped. "No, I'm not! I'm just trying to fix our problems!"
Ducky raised an eyebrow.
Phish continued. "In fact, I just finished. If everybody just lets the glue set, the cherry table will look as if it had never been broken. DID EVERYBODY HEAR ME? NOBODY IS TO TOUCH THE CHERRY TABLE!"
Ducky looked at Phish's work. It looked great. It looked just like Phish had said, as if it had never been broken. The only difference was there were a few clamps that would obviously be removed when the glue set.

Just then, an unlucky taverner tripped over another's foot and landed on the table, completely undoing Phish's hard work.

[4I Falcon]

Ducky immediately began laying about with the Admin Rod, thwacking uncontrollably and sending unlucky 'Taverners flying across the Tavern. Ironically, the one who had actually broken the table a second time, which happened to be `N0 (fitting, considering Phish said that nobody is to touch the table), had made it off the warpath and escaped the Tavern before Ducky clobbered him.
Night Fire made an unwise attempt to try to get up behind Ducky and hold her still, so that she could not wreak any more havoc on the hapless occupants of the Tavern, but she spun around too quickly and laid him a crushing blow across his face with the edge of the Rod. He spun out, pivoting on one foot, then collapsed over the bar, unconscious.
Over the mad roar of the combination of Ducky's berserk state and the numerous variations of "Get out of my way!" the 'Taverners were screaming at each other, Jack's voice could barely be heard. "DUCKY! STOP!"
Ducky, unfortunately, did not hear Jack's cry, and was almost to Firefox when Jack flew out of nowhere, tackling the Admin Rod-wielding berserker in mid-flight. He held her pinned down, one hand on her left wrist, immobilizing her means of attack. She struggled momentarily, then stopped.
"Ducky, listen to me." Jack was breathing heavily, as he had narrowly dodged a few of the swipes from the Rod himself.
Ducky remained still, but even though she was not attacking the red glow remained in her eyes. "What...?!"
"You're not going to whack me when I say this."
Ducky glared at Jack, but he could tell that she was slowly cooling down. Very slowly, however. "Whatever. What is it?"
"The cherry table is gone."

[Coppertop]

"AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Done.

[Ducky]

(I've finally snapped? I'm not saying a <i>word</i>.)

[Tik]

Ack, I have no time to do more of my story. Someone else do something.

[4I Falcon]

*waits for something interesting to happen*

*waits for Animals to be updated*

*trundles off to go do some more work on E:JF*

[Elias FF]

With the way Ducky was screaming, one would think that it was the end of the world.

"Yeesh, she was really attached to that table, wasn't she?" Elias questioned.

"You have no idea," Flash replied. "That was given to her when she moved away from her parents. She's always cherished it, especially after they passed away. To her, that table is more than just a table... it's a reminder of her family."

*Insert sad violin music here*

Elias gulped at that comment. He knew what it was like to have a keepsake of lost loved ones; his medallion was a prime example of this. "At least her parents weren't killed like mine were..." he thought to himself. "That accursed Devan Shell took away nearly everything I had... my friends, my family, my life... it's because of him that I have to live my life like this!"

"Yo, Elias, are you all right? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were on the verge of shedding tears."

Elias nearly glared at Flash, as if to say "Don't even go there."

"I'm fine, and I do know to a point what Ducky's going through. I, too, know the meaning of pain. I know of what it can do to a person."

A few brief moments passed before he continued. "I also know that if that violin doesn't stop playing REALLY soon, I'm gonna BREAK THE DANG THING!!!"

*End sad violin music*

"Well, that was convenient! Now, how about somebody fixing this table before Ducky completely loses her mind and becomes like Spaz?"

"Why don't you do it, seeing as how you suggested the idea?"

"I'm a mercenary, Flash... not a carpenter! I don't know the first thing about fixing tables!"

"Whatever...."

At that moment...

---------------------
Elias FF-- Bob Vila he is not! :lol:

[4I Falcon]

Flash being me, or Flash being Fl@$h?

Jes' checkin.

[Ducky]

Ducky stopped screeching abruptly.
"Elias?"
She suddenly realised who was talking to Flash and flung herself off the counter onto him.
"I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!"








Geez, man, where have you been? You seriously haven't been here all along, have you>

[Elias FF]

OoC: You have two forms, Flash?! Yeesh, I really DO need to come here more often! This would be Flash being Flash, I guess....
---------------------

Elias was caught completely off-guard as Ducky flung her arms around his neck. The momentum given off by her nearly caused both rabbits to tumble onto the floor, only to be stopped at the last possible second by Elias's quick reflexes.

"Nice to see you too, Ducky. But geez... warn me the next time you decide to do something like that, all right? You nearly knocked the wind out of me."

"Sorry about that; it's just that... where on Carrotus have you been all this time? The tavern just doesn't seem the same without you."

"To tell you the truth, I wish I could be here more often. Alas, the life of a mercenary is often a lonely one. Add to the fact that some of my latest missions have ranged from 'Top Secret' to 'Vacuum-Sealed for Eternal Storage,' and you get a mercenary that doesn't talk all that much," Elias explained.

"So I've noticed," Flash stated somewhat sarcastically. "You've done practically nothing but talk ever since you crashed in here."

"Hah... hah.... Very... funny... wise... guy!" Elias replied, overemphasizing every syllable.

"It wasn't meant to be funny. It's a fact."

"Whatever. So, Ducky... what have you been up to while I was gone?"

"Well..."

---------------------
Elias FF-- A rabbit who REALLY needs to visit more often!

[4I Falcon]

It is NOT Flash, Elias. It's Jack Flash. Jack.

But, anyway, it's good to see you around again. I think.

I haven't been here long enough to know what the (-) is going on.

[Coppertop]

Sure.

[Elias FF]

OoC: I KNOW it's Jack, Jack! But Jack doesn't have the flair that Flash does. Why do you think I've been referring to you as Flash?

Sheesh... some people can be so sensitive. Just be glad I'm one of those people that didn't ever call you 41 Falcon by accident.

---------------------
Elias FF-- A rabbit with fiery flair!

[4I Falcon]

Thank you for that last point, Elias. *brandishes sledgehammer*

And, IMHO, Flash seems a bit too contrived to be used as a common name. Jack just seems to have that discrete intermediation between anonymity and debonnaire-ism. However, now that that is all cleared up, I'm going to go eat some stuff.

*narshnarsh* ^_^

[Ducky]

"Shut up and stop arguing. We need to celebrate!"

Her cherry table for the moment forgotten, Ducky dragged Elias to the bar and began drawing a round of drinks for the 'Taverners.

[acid]

In the midst of the celebrations, Acid noticed one unhappy face. He walked over to Jack Flash.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nobody seems to listen to my stories anymore."
"I do."
"I know. But as it seems, you and Scatman are it. It just seems like a waste of time to tell them if only two people listen."



Hey! Seriously, 4I Falcon is going to discontinue his stories if he doesn't get at least 5 people to reply to his Boing, boing, boing, boing thread!

[Alister]

Toxic was bored. The taverners had lost interest in the construction work outside. He drummed his fingers on the table. This only resulted in him being supplied with strawberry-flavoured carrot juice, not that he minded. He took a sip. Now he minded.

Well, if nobody else was going to find out what was going on out there, he was. He picked up his video camera. Looking into the viewfinder, he noticed that the picture was distorted. Almost as if there was some sort of magnetic interference coming from the cellar. He found the door leading to the stairs, and slowly made his way down. Before he realised he was actually going up. Hiccuping, he headed downwards, and eventually found himself in the cellar.
There sat Spaztic and Foo. Spaztic's expression indicated that he was concentrating. Foo's expression suggested that he was unaware that his foot was in a bucket of grease.
"What are you two doing?" asked Toxic. Fully submerged in the virtual word, they couldn't hear him.

Half an hour later, Ducky descended to the cellar to find Toxic staring through the viewfinder of his camera. It was hooked up to the pod. He looked up.
"Hey, come and look at this," said Toxic.

[4I Falcon]

Ducky peered through the viewfinder. "What is it?"
"Isn't that weird, or awesome or something?"
"Uh, no?"
Ducky moved her head away from the camera so Toxic could take another look inside. "Oh. Um, one sec..." He twisted the focus back and forth for a few seconds, then said triumphantly, "There. Now look."
Ducky squinted through the viewfinder again. "I don't see anything interesting, Toxic. If this is supposed to be a joke, you're really not funny."
Toxic pulled the camera to his own eye again, and growled, "Blasted camera! Shut up and hold a focus for a few seconds!" He pushed a button on the side of the camera, turned the focus again, then, with an exasperated sigh, he said, "Fixed. Now take a look."
Ducky looked through the viewfinder one last time; however, it was that one last time that brought whatever it was that Toxic had wanted to show her to her eye. And Toxic had a good reason to show it to her; it was nothing short of astounding.
"Whoa."

[Coppertop]

I have no idea what you guys saw.:p

[4I Falcon]

Neither do I. Such is the reason for writing a good-sized section without actually advancing the plot. :D

[4I Falcon]

Something needs to happen.

NOW.

[Coppertop]

Yes.

Ducky muttered something that sounded like a garbled "I like fish on toast" and made her escape. Toxic continued to peer through the viewfinder thingy, utterly fascinated.
Copper wandered in. "Whatcha doing?" she inquired.
"Ssh," Toxic said absently. She shrugged.
"Fine. Be that way."

In the Tavern, Foo was busy splattering grease all over the floor, bar and patrons. Ducky was screeching at him, Acid, Electrik and Phish looked utterly mortified, and the rest of those within were busy laughing themselves to death.
Copper shook her head. "Yeesh. It's a madhouse in here!"
At that moment ...

[Elias FF]

"What? What is it?" Elias asked, wondering what Ducky and some of the others were viewing.

"Get a load of this!" Ducky exclaimed, pointing into the viewfinder of the camcorder.

Elias looked and was immediatly shocked by what was going on. "Is this what you were trying to warn us about, Toxic?!"

"Um, yeah. I tried telling you all about it earlier, but I was ignored like I didn't even exist!"

"Sorry about that. Brawls in the tavern have a habit of taking over everything else."

"So I've noticed."

"So what's the deal?" Jack queried.

(OoC: Happy, 4I? I used Jack instead of Flash.)

"In case you forgot, it turns out that there is going to be an office complex built right next to this tavern. The worst part about it is, they aren't happy with the amount of space they have to work with, and are therefore trying to get the tavern shut down so they can buy the property and demolish it," Toxic explained.

"Oh, man... I wish you were joking, but with evidence like this, it's hard NOT to believe you!" Ducky stated.

"Yeah, this truly is a bummer," Elias replied.

Just then, something caught Elias's attention. "Hey! How do I rewind this thing?!"

"Just press this button right here," Toxic replied, pointing to a blue button marked REWIND. "Then press the green PLAY button next to it to play back what you rewound. To pause it, just press the yellow button."

"Thanks."

Elias rewound the tape to a certain part, just before the camera's view rotated to the left. He played it for a brief moment, then paused it as it zoomed in on something. "There! Can you see it?!" he queried, removing his eye from the viewfinder.

"See what? The image is all blurry," Ducky replied.

"Hang on. I can fix that easily," Toxic stated.

A few button presses later, the image had sharpened enough to see it clearly. What they saw did not please them: It was a logo of a turtle shell, emblazoned with the letters DSC.

"Why, that dirty, no-good SOB!" Ducky exclaimed. "I recognize that logo anywhere! That's Devan Shell's so-called 'construction company!' How DARE he try to knock over our tavern?!!"

"You should have learned by now that Devan will stop at nothing to erradicate all of us from the face of the universe, don't you?" Elias questioned. "The real question is... how did he manage to find people of his own kind smart enough to operate heavy machinary?"

"Who knows and who cares?!" Ducky shouted. "Someone has to teach that turtle a lesson he'll never forget! Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, messes with my tavern and gets away with it!"

"Count me in, too!" Elias stated. "He's not going to get away with trying to destroy our hangout!"

"Believe me, Elias... all of us will make sure of that," stated Ducky, "because this time... it's personal!"

---------------------

Elias FF-- Rabbit on a mission!

[4I Falcon]

Originally posted by Elias FF
(OoC: Happy, 4I? I used Jack instead of Flash.)

Thankee thankee.

PAGE CLAIM

[Coppertop]

.. IN THE NAME OF DIRTY SOCKS

Devan? Aii!

[acid]

Acid looked very cross. "Devan? That stinking son of a-" the sound of a crash outside interruped Acid, and taking everyone's attention. There was another crash sound. There was a mad dash for the door, to see what the noise was. When they got outside, it was an impressive sight.

The building next to the War Tavern was HUGE, even before all the foundations were in place. Turtles were walking around with construction materials, looking at floor plans, and building. The group of animals didn't see what the noise was, until they heard it for the third time. One part of the building was virtually falling in on itself, with a very scared-looking turtle inside it. The crash was head every time the metal frame bent and smashed another wall. The other turtles starting looking up at that area, groaned, and began walking towards it. This left the rest of the buiding vacant. Foo's face spread into a grin, and he bounded off towards the vacant area. Acid, Phish and Electrik ran after him, trying to get him to stop. Foo scrambled up a few floors, then screeched and jumped, slamming down on the floor beneath him with full force. The floor groaned with the effort of staying upright after a rabbit had slammed himself down on it, and started curving. Foo screeched again, and ran in a random direction, bashing into a pole and bending it. Things went on in the same way, every time the rabbit tried to run, he caused another buiding part to start falling apart, and with each new collision, the rabbit grew more panicked.

[Violet CLM]

Meanwhile...

Devan preformed the turtle equivalent of snapping his fingers. "Eureka! That's it!" he cried, then ran off to find his yellow #1 Henchlizard, who turned out to be asleep.
"#1 Henchlizard!" cried Devan, pulling all the covers off of the bed. "Wake up! Assemble the construction team! I have a failproof scheme to defeat Jazz once and for all!"
The #1 Henchlizard didn't say all of other Devan's schemes had been "failproof", too. He didn't say they had failed. He didn't praise his boss's intellect. But he did rub the sleep out of his eyes and mutter "oog gla durb?" in a a confused manner.
Devan was inperturbed. He grabbed the cup of coffee #1 Henchlizard kept by his bedside and poored it over the unfortunate animal's head, which did suceed in causing the normal level of consciousness.
"Quickly! Assemble the construction team!" Devan repeated.
The #1 Henchlizard (now referred to as #1 for abbreviation's sake) groaned. "Boss, they've got a job. They're building some sort of complex where you work things. Or something."
"What?!" Devan cried, angrilly. "Who DARES hire my construction team when I need them to help me take over the world?!"
"Well, he called himself..." said #1, pausing for dramatic effect, "Scorpi-CEO."(1)


(1): Scorpi-CEO: n
1. A bizarre mutated being caused by the CEO of some company being infected by Ben-Class Scorpions, until they merge into a single living being which walks like a man, looks like a man crossed with a scorpion, and doesn't smell too good, either.
2. A common hallucination.

[Coppertop]

THE SCORPION KING!!!!! AHHH!
A common hallucination. Yeah.

[acid]

whoops, I forgot Foo was still in that thingy downstairs. Just pretend he ended the game.

[4I Falcon]

Okay then.

Jack suddenly appeared next to Acid, and Firefox beside Jack. The two of them looked skywards toward the peak of the structure, and then Jack asked, "What's this all about then?"
Acid cocked an eyebrow at the white rabbit. "You mean you haven't heard already? Devan and his cronies are building some kind of office building or some stupid thing like that, and they want to buy the WT's property so they can knock it down!"
Firefox appeared stunned, but not for long. "You've gotta be kidding me."
"Yeah. I'm kidding, and that building there doesn't really exist."
Jack chuckled. "It won't for long... C'mon, Firefox, we've got us some wreckin' to do!"
With that, the two took off towards the base of the structure, guns out and ready.
However, just before they reached the building's unfinished bottom floors, two heavily-built figures, with long, arcing tails curving up and over their heads, appeared in front of them, stopping them in their tracks. "We can't let you go any farther. Scorpi-CEO's orders."
Jack was about to scream something in protest, but Firefox spoke first. "Scorpi-CEO? That poison-tailed pig?"
"I will dismiss your derisive language regarding our Scorpi-CEO; however, the order still stands. You are to go no further."
"Oh yeah?" blazed Jack. "Just try and stop me!"
"No!" Firefox tried to keep Jack from firing on the Scorp-Goonie, making an unwise attempt to push Jack's gun away. "Jack, don't--!"
However, strong as Firefox was, Jack was not about to be stopped. He raised his gun, and pointed it directly at one of the Scorp-Goonies' heads. From that range, coupled with Jack's amazing marksmanship, it was nearly impossible to miss...
But Jack didn't even get an opportunity to fire. Faster than any eye could see, the other Scorp-Goonie's tail flicked over his shoulder and caught Jack on his neck, just between his shoulder and his jaw, with the pointed, venomed tip. Jack stumbled backwards, tripped, and fell heavily to the ground.
"No!" Firefox rushed to Jack's side, and lifted the white rabbit's head off the ground. "Jack!"
It was easy for him to see that the poisoned hole that the Scorp-Goonie's tail had left on Jack's neck was indeed poisonous, and the area around it began to swell. When Jack opened his eyes to Firefox, they were hazy and clouded. "Fire..."
"Jack... I'll get... you... no... just..."
Firefox was rapidly running out of time, and he knew it. The pin-sized hole that the poison barb had left had begun to bleed, and Firefox knew immediately that the blood issuing from the wound was not in good health, from its overly bright-red tinge. Jack's eyes were becoming more misty by the second, and his eyelids began to droop. Firefox, finally having run out of ideas, hauled Jack up bodily and carried him back to the Tavern; if he was lucky, he might be able to get some medical help for his friend there.
He wasn't lucky.

On entry to the Tavern, which he had initiated by kicking the semi-open door in lightly, Firefox saw several armed turtles evacuating the patrons of the Tavern who had not yet left. One of them turned around to see what was the source of the noise, and saw the Captain standing in the doorway, with Jack slumped over his shoulder like a carpet.
The turtle was obviously not impressed. "Hey! I thought I said 'everybody out, this place is being bought out by DSC!' Are you friggin' deaf?"
Firefox, startled slightly by the appearance of this gruff turtle inside the rabbit-based War Tavern, stuttered as he tried to form a sentence. "But... my... he... the..."
"Bluh, bluh, bluh, shut up! Shut up and get out, now! Y'hear me?"
Firefox immediately stopped. No one, especially not a turtle, ordered Captain Jaycen Firefox around like a common peasant.
No one.
Setting Jack's limp form down in a small booth near the entrance of the bar, Firefox glared at the turtle, who just as strongly glared back. "Whaddaya think you're doing? Get out, now!"
Firefox's entire body began to quiver with boundless blood rage, as he growled out, "You near killed my partner, and my best friend... jeez, he's practically my brother, after all we've been through. Now, I'm going to repay the favour."
"What the--?"
Firefox took two long strides towards the menacing turtle, placing them less than six inches apart. The turtle stared down at Firefox with fire in his eyes, but the stolid rabbit didn't back down in the least. The two's eyes remained aggressive as they attempted to stare each other down.
Suddenly, without warning, Firefox's fist came flying forward at the turtle's chest. It hit with such force that the turtle's shell, normally able to withstand even super-high pressures, broke apart, and long, jagged cracks radiated from the point where Firefox's fist struck. Not surprisingly, the turtle was killed on the spot, by one enraged punch to just the right place from the Captain's open hand.
Two of the other turtles turned when they heard the loud crack of their comrade's shell breaking, and their eyes fell upon the red rabbit, standing stock still and breathing heavily as the muscled and armed turtle keeled over, dead. They both raised their blasters at him, but Firefox was already right in front of them. He dispatched one of the two with a quick, open-handed uppercut to the chin, instantly breaking his neck; then, he spun around, whipping out his green blastgun, and spared no time in slaying the other with a single, two-barreled blast to the chest. They both fell to the ground, two limp heaps, as Firefox dodged out the door again, snatching the unconscious Jack out of his chair, and bolting away at full speed from the 'Tavern. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would be able to find help for Jack back in one of the nearby cities.
Firefox hoped, for Jack's sake, that he would be lucky this time.

[Coppertop]

:O Ooh. Sounds like it hurt.
I think they'll just ... miss me. You know, don't see me.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ suddenly woke up from a stand in a random corner of the tavern, having been tired of selling tournament trinkets. He looked around lackadaisically, trying to figure out what was happening. From what he could tell, he could see Turtles pushing out people and threatening them, evacuating them from the tavern....

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Hey... wait one danged second here...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ twitched, then his eyes filled with much rage*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: THOSE ARE MY FRIGGEN CUSTOMERS!!!! WHAT THE *BEEP* BEEPITY* BEEP* BEEP* AND YOUR MOM *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* BEEP*!...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then looked over at a Microwave sitting on one of the tavern tables, making the beeping noises, and yanked it outta the wall*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: where was I...

Turtle Henchman 1: Wot's it matter ta you, buddy? Dis place here has t'be cleared out for da new... watsa ya call em... Apartment Complex's!

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ:What?!?! And take MY business?

Turtle Henchman 2: Whatever. The point is your supposed to get out of here.

Turtle Henchman 3: Don't make us call for backup.

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's face then turned into an all-knowing grin, walking up to the menacing turtle*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ(low-scratchy voice): You ever play those RPG games with the storekeepers? you ever attack one?

Turtle Henchman 1: Er... ya...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ(lsv): And when you do, they boast about how they ripped you off, then bust out these mean spells, big weapons, and are nearly unkillable?

*long pause*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: That'd be ME !

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then reached from his back sheath, swinging his Kaiser Blade as he pulled it out, followed by a large *FZZT* as it melted through the low-class turtle security, while occupying his left hand with his Platinum Pistol, quickly searching for a target...

=[TH3]Turtle Henchman 3 (on radio to) DSC Security Room=
TH3: HQ, HQ, DO YOU READ?
HQ: Loud and clear, what's the problem?
TH3: We get MULTIPLE HOSTILES! One Fled out the door after taking out some of our men, the other is still resisting!
HQ: Alright, setting an intercept course for the fleeing hostile and sending backup. Still copy?
TH3: Yes, Send them fast befo- *SCCCCCCCFZZZTTT*
HQ: Hello? Hello? GRRRR... Dang it... they don't make expendable goons like they used to...
=======

The tavern was in a ruckus, as Turtles were pursuing hostiles.

Ducky could be seen waving around her admin shtick, smacking many turtles asunder, yelling something about making a Turtleshell table.

Spaztic pulled out a keg from behind the counter and started drowning them in B33R, claiming to Bapitize them in the name of Shibby.

Some other taverners was beating up turtles, but they were kind of saddened because they're hits lacked the cool sound effect notations because BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ doesn't know what they are (*cough* post action sequences *cough* *cough* ;)).

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked around, and finally spotted the tavern door, with an evil grin.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Hey Guys! I need some people to help nail up some boards on the entrance! I got a plan....

==============================================
Eh, short returning post, so sue me ;)

[acid]

Meanwhile...

"FOO! GET OFF OF THERE!!!"
"AIIIEEEE!" WHUMP. Foo was still going at it, and the building had somewhat transformed into something like a video game level.
A turtle tried to get rid of Foo, but a swinging beam pulverized it. Foo smashed into a bucket of concrete, showering the contents onto a group of workers on a lunch break. Acid shook his head, doubting they would be desirable as statues. He also knew that he would have to get Foo out of there himself, Foo was having too much trouble on his own. He wound up for a powerful leap onto the building, when a heavy object bowled him over.
"EH?!?" Acid quickly got up, finding the heavy object to be the corpse of a turtle, with a black scorch mark on its stomach. He heard sounds of zapping and Thwapping from the Tavern.
Foo, meanwhile, fell off the building. Landing with a WUMPH noise, he quickly popped up again. "Ashid, what wash taht noishe from teh War Tavern?"
"I don't know. Let's see what's going on."
The four rabbits Acid, Electrik, Phish and Foo walked over and poked their heads into the tavern to see what was going on...



Nice to have you back, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!

[4I Falcon]

Sweet. I think I'll have Firefox stand out for a reasonable amount of time before he returns to wreak some more havoc. :D

[Violet CLM]

The nearest city to the site of the War Tavern, as of the most recent complete rearrangement of all Carrotian landmarks, was a (rather blue) place named - unoriginally enough - "Bunnyburrow".
Bunnyburrow was known for being primarily a burrow - that is, instead of the more common normal city, a series of underground tunnels and caverns - only with more advanced technology then you find in most holes in the ground. There were rumors Bunnyburrow had originally been a secret turtle base, only the rabbits had taken it, but this was widely disregarded as demeaning rabbitarian intelligence.
As is often the way with old places with lots of technology, few really remembered how much of the various machines houses in Bunnyburrow worked, fewer cared to tell anyone else, and even less hung around long enough to listen. It was not really widely regarded at all, which was strange, as it had the potential to become quite a popular place, but the rabbits living inside it enjoyed quite an easy life, what with the automatic food processors, machines which always produced a strange liquid that was almost (but not quite) completely unlike tea, and a strange economic system which had totally abolished the use of money.
If you have not already guessed as much, it was Bunnyburrow Firefox brought Jack to, though it was unlikely he had it - or any paticular city - in mind beforehand. Bunnyburrow was often known to redirect nearby travellers towards it.
If you had guessed as much, this is still what happened.

[Violet CLM]

This post was sent to me via PM by GenEX, who is banned from the board and thus unable to post it himself:

"Oh geez, that was just stupid. A cardboard standup? What's it doing in there anyway?" GenEX asked the vaultkeeper.
"It was supposed to be used for an April Fools Day joke. But we forgot to get it out. So sorry about that, sir." Replied the vaultkeeper.
"Well, next time, try something funny and not scary. Or I may end up destroying everything in a 30 mile radius accidently." And with that, GenEX left the storage house. Even though there was no actual house. Which is why he ended up back in the War Tavern, due to the sheer unreality of the situation.
"This old place.. I haven't been here in a while. Although I was just here a few hours ago. Something tells me both statements are true. Freaky..." GenEX thought. Apparently a lot had happened.
Checking the Tavern's computer, he found out that it had been completely messed up with really pathetic programs and too many really lame Jazz Jackrabbit levels and tilesets. He wondered if one of his alter egos was responsible, and recalled all of them back to his body. In the next room, there was a poster on the wall that had a lot of ugly scribbles on it and fancy text. Somebody really needed art lessons. It said:
F-ZERO TYPE OF RACE WITH WEAPONS AND STUFF. BUILD A CAR, ENTER, AND WIN SOMETHING.
GenEX guessed that things were obviously getting rather boring around here without him and the omnipotent behemoths that constantly attempted to kill him. But, due to lack of pretty much anything else to do, GenEX went to work on an F-Zero car.
Meanwhile, BOB_ALLEN filled up the hard drive with more useless junk. How he got in there is unknown.

(Ultra-special time that is not mentioned)

GenEX was currently designing his vehicle for the race, unaware of what the other taverners were doing. He was trying to set some limits to how much stuff his futuristic car would have, otherwise it'd be very much unfair. GenEX finally decided on what it would be equipped with and began the paint job. A rusty vinegar cow suddenly appeared out of nowhere and landed outside the room where he was working. His car was quite a piece of work. It had a fairly efficient engine that could exceed the maximum velocity of the Blue Falcon, an ion cannon and energy flail as weaponry, could ram other vehicles with taking too much damage, and was a very sleek and shiny red color.
Then he heard some PC Speaker-like sounds coming from nearby. Hurrying in to see what was going on, GenEX found himself in the middle of a fight between the Taverners and a bunch of turtles. The taverners lacked a decent sound card and were making the noises.
"Arg, I despise that sound system! Begone!" And with the snap of his fingers, the sound restrictions disappeared from the tavern. Not too far away, the rusty vinegar cow started weird sounds .
"OH MY GOSHISH! ISSA BIG FIGHETY!" exclaimed Foo. But acid, electric, and phish didn't need him to tell them that. The last time they checked, their eyes were working normally. "Time to bust some turtle heads..." said Acid in a Terminatorish voice. Foo, being the foo that he is, got a hammer and started breaking the heads of the dead turtles, during which he began to collect the "SILLAY PUTTYEY" he found inside. The battle raged on, and other stuff happened not mentioned here.
{/GenEX}

[4I Falcon]

/me twitches.

...Is this GenEX's first attempt at writing something <s>sensible</s> in the WT?

Anyway, Tales needs a comeback. The story was progressing so nicely, and then it just died. I would write it right here and now, but I'm slightly... er... incapacitated.

[Tik]

Spaztic fell out of the machine with a sudden bang.

"What happened?" he gasped. But no one else was in the room. He rubbed his head, it had been bruised. He walked out of the room and into the main tavern. It was completely empty.

"Where is everyone?" he said. Nothing. He coughed and walked over and examined every room he knew of. Nothing again. Just to make sure he wasn't dreaming, Spaztic pinched himself...

..which woke him up.

He was laying on the ground staring upwards towards the center of a circle of faces. "He's awake, he's awake, it's alright," said one of them.

"What happened?" Spaztic gasped once again, this time with an answer.

"You totally passed out from teh b33r man," replied BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, helping him up. Spaztic suddenly staggered backwards and was caught by another. His head ached and he noticed his shirt was drenched with what appeared to be vomit. He suddenly burst into laughter.

"Rock on. I must have had the best time." Spaztic walked back to the counter to see what was going on. He liked this place already...

[4I Falcon]

Alright! Tales is finally back!

I would write something, but I'm going to go to work in about five minutes, so it would be rushed and crap-tacular at best.

[Coppertop]

Fun revival.

[acid]

And then the thread starts dying again... ¬_¬

[Risp_old]

Comeon! Someone write something!

[Ducky]

"Dude, I so got the 101st post. Free drinks all around!"

Dukki, wearing a bright pink lei, poured everyone glasses of mulled wine and ginger ale.

[acid]

And so, the Tavern began to return to normal, for the time being. Everyone was happily drinking to their victory over the turtles, and Foo made a fortune selling his "SILLAY PUTTYEY" to Spaztic. However, not everyone was happy...

"Dang it, that wasn't supposed to happen!" roared Devan, slamming his fist onto his desk.
"Well, you couldn't have expected the rabbits to just surrender the tavern-" began Devan's secretary, but he was interrupted by Devan's roaring.
"OF COURSE NOT, BUT THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO WIN!!! How did they destroy all of those tuf turtles?!" Devan slumped back into his chair. "Argh, I hope I can get some actually intelligent beings to help me, I'm tired of losing because of my slow-witted army!"
"So, you want some people who can actually put together a decent plan and follow it? I think we can fill that..."
Devan and his secretary turned towards the new speaker...

[4I Falcon]

Firefox stuck his head into the Tavern, and was immediately not noticed. He looked around for a few seconds, shrugged, and slid up to the bar, taking a seat on one of the few barstools still open for a seat.
Ducky nodded to Firefox. "Hey. How's Jack faring?"
"He's stable. Fortunately. The good doctors at Bunnyburrow are keeping him around for the time being, though; something really weird happened on the way there, and they want to keep a close eye on him."
Ducky raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What happened?"
"I have no idea. They didn't seem too displeased with it, though, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's not going to wake up dead one morning."
Ducky grinned, presented him with his mulled wine and ginger ale, and puttered off into the back for a few minutes. Firefox took a long drought of the stuff, and clunked the glass back onto the bar, smiling to himself. "Mmm, good stuff you make, Ducky," he said to no one in particular.
On a whim, he propelled himself sideways, and spun contentedly on the barstool for a few seconds. The room whirled around him, and he could hear some amused snickering from those beside and around him as he rotated. As his head began to loll from side to side from the dizziness, he slowed himself to a halt again, and amused the rabbits around him further with a slightly disoriented "Stop the room, please, I want to get off."
Taking a few moments to shake off the waves of dizzy nausea that fell through him, he shook his head to clear his vision. As soon as he had, however, he wished he hadn't...

(Author's note: I'm not proud of this at all.)

[Violet CLM]

Devan looked the intruder up and down slowly, as you might study a plum at the market before giving up and applying the "squeeze" test. It seemed to be an elderly woodpecker, standing about 4'2" with high heels. The bird - possibly a mutant - wore glasses atop his heavily powdered beak, the same color as his enormous satin dressing gown, which was decorated with green dragons swallowing the tails of orange dragons.
"And who might you be?" asked Devan, menacingly, reaching slowly for his gun.
"It all depends on when." said the woodpecker, "In the year 4045, for example, I was the second director for Jurassic Park Something or Other, hired only after my predecsesor was eaten by a dinosaur. Unfortunately, I lost that job after foolishly hiring an individual by the name of Vampyra Smurferama, sent to me via Cognomail from the War Tavern. After that, I returned to a few years ago, on the planet Tubelectric, where I was hailed king by the strange race of the Ostrich Peeps."
"The Ostrich Peeps?" asked Devan, surprised. "I thought the nuclear meltdown had seen the last of that interfering species."
"No, they retreated to the barren, uninhabited sector of Tubelectric, there awaiting their new leader to fall from the skies. And this I did. My first failure as their king came about two years ago, when a group of idiots who called themselves "Taverners" escaped from Ostrich Prison and devoured many of the Ostrich Police. The situation, as was presented to me recently, is that I must lead the Ostrich Peeps into some military victory before the month is out, or they shall dethrone me with a blowtorch. I have come to lend the Ostrich Peep Militia to your revenge against the Taverners."
"Well....." said Devan, slowly, "I don't know..."
"They can do song and dance numbers!"
"Deal."

[Risp_old]

... as he saw the ceiling of the tavern. No one saw it but him, as they were all still looking at him, and he was the only one shaking his head (except Foo, of course). The ceiling had cracks on it from some damage done there (all those people dropping through the roof?) and was about to collapsel. Then, after rubbing the dust falling from the cracks from his eyes, he looked back. The cracks were straining... and the roof, with a meldramatic crash, fell in.

(Sorry, four-eye. I felt this wasn't a time to introduce my own characters.)

EDIT- whoops, this was for directly after 41's post. Unknown beat me.

[Gecko]

(oh goodie a chain story.........)
Suddenly, Ducktape monsters came in and wrapped everyone (except Devan) up like mummies. soon after many turtles, working for Devan come in and capture all the wrapped bodies."Here you go for your good deed." Says Devan giving the Ducktape leader $100 (or around 110 euros).

[Risp_old]

...

[4I Falcon]

Ducky came out of the back room to find her tavern empty, devoid of all life, and with a large section of the roof resting on the ground. She simply stood in the doorway for a few moments, jaw hanging open in shock. "What in all good..."
She advanced slowly, silently, and cautiously, looking around. All that was left of the previous joviality were the mugs of drink, in every level of fill. She blinked a few times, looking around again, and vaulted over the bar to investigate further.
She yelped in surprise as she fell over almost immediately after landing, and she landed on her backside with a loud "Oof.!" Shaking off the sudden adrenaline boost and ruefully rubbing her bum, she stood up again, only to almost fall over again as she slipped on whatever the object had been that she had tripped on the first time. Hastily withdrawing her foot from it to avoid another arseplant, she looked down to see what it was.
Firefox's blaster.
She couldn't believe her eyes. Firefox had left his blaster behind in the Tavern, and on the floor, no less. No Captain, especially not Firefox, would just forget about his blaster, even in a Tavern, where inebriated solidarity was the rule.
It quickly fell into place. Whatever had happened to the inhabitants of her Tavern, it was not by their own will. They were taken away by force. But by who, and to where, and why, were all still mysteries to the good tavernkeeper.
She picked up the green blastgun, and looked it over once. This was definitely the trademark weapon of Captain Firefox, no doubt about that. Looking around again, a dark grimace on her face, she cocked the weapon, like she had seen the Captain do once before.
Carrying the gun nonchalantly in her taut fist, she strode to the door, making a mental note that her feet seemed to be adhering -- only slightly, but definitely enough to be noticeable -- to the floor. She opened the door, none too gently, and looked outside, hoping that she'd be able to get a glimpse of her Tavern's patrons' captors.
Then she saw it. A faint, dull glint, like sunlight off of duct tape, off in the distance. Then it was gone.
She nodded, satisfied, and flipped Firefox's gun from one hand to the other. She muttered something, half to the empty Tavern, and was gone, after whatever it was that had robbed her peaceful haven of its inhabitants.

[Gecko]

(its duck tape not duct tape, this one is special because it quacks!)
While Ducky was looking at the sunset, a voice said "Better duck, dude!" and a turtle suddenly grabs her and suddenly Devan arises out of the corner
"I always knew someone would come to find this out." He says "Take her away!" and so the turtles towed her away like the rest, but Devan didn't notice someone on the roof, a black rabbit with a blue vest and black pants. "Hmmmmmmmmmmm Devan and his goons are up to something I'd better follow him, Quitely that is." He says.

[Risp_old]

Down the road to the tavern, no five minutes after Ducky left, two figures approached. A blue fox and a black bird, walking... no... going down the sidewalk, not humming a cheerfull tune involving hi-ho or anything stupid like that. As they neared the Tavern they stopped, and turned in unison. A snatch of conversation could be heard from nearby bushes where nothing, sadly, lurked. "I heard the ads too. I know it has historical value. But that is no reason to go there, and loose time off a job. Rogue mages don't hunt themselves, ya'know." "But it won't take much time. I mean, this new job does have a generous time frame. It's not like anyone will capture him before then." "... alright. Lets go in." With that the duo went into the building, and looked around. The first thing that striked them- the damage. The second- the lack of people. The third- the apparent power-outage. "Wow, this place really is history."

Edit- ... Gecko, I still cannot get what you are saying.

[Gecko]

(My point is after they took everyone, Devan decided to stay along with a few of his goons to see if there was anyone coming or survivors were in the building and thus left us at my last post)
"This place is history" says the black bird.
"Definatly is" says the black rabbit suddenly opening the door.
"who are you?" says the blue rabbit and bird.

[Risp_old]

The fox (NOT RABBIT! NOT RABBIT!) fingered his laser rifle, and, as a second thought, got into the right position to get his sword out quickly. He glanced at the bird, who nodded.

[4I Falcon]

*has to go to his character archives to find a few that haven't been used yet*

Maxwell Vermilion, better known as Curvegrinder, was an expert skateboarder. He spent the majority of his time on his plank, practicing and busting unbelieveable maneuvers. His friends knew that, more than a good percentage of the time, they would be able to find him at his favourite hangout, the Mindless Montezuma skate park in the northern part of the Myriad Metropolis.
So it was, then, that a good friend of his turned up to find him.
"Max!" Cory Montgomery, alias Justice, shouted the young leveret's name as soon as he caught sight of him halfway up a quarter pipe. This caused him to fall backwards off of his skateboard, and the board flew upward, coming down with a loud clunk onto the lip of the ramp.
Curvegrinder rubbed the back of his head, wincing as his fingers traced over a fresh lump. "Oog... Don't call me that, man, it's Grinder, remember?"
"This is serious stuff, M-- Grinder. I spent the last five or ten minutes trying to find you." Justice almost tripped a few times as he made his way down the side of the quarter pipe, and extended his metal right arm to help the fallen leveret up.
"What is it?" Grinder asked, coming up easily. "What happened, man? You looked seriously freaked."
"Some turtles and weird friggin' tape monster things just kidnapped your uncle and my cousin. They were at the WT, and then boom, turtles all over the place. Everyone got took out in tape."
Grinder's expression went from smug to shocked in nothing flat. "You're not kidding. You're kidding... no, you're serious, right?"
"Would I lie to you? Don't answer that. Come on, man, do you have time to doubt me? Jay and Mike are being carted off by Devan's goonies!"
(Author's note: Jay and Mike are Jaycen Firefox and Michael Indigo, respectively. Justice just calls them that.)
Grinder's mouth fell open. "We've gotta get going then! I'm not going to let those turtles do anything to my uncle!"
He was up to the lip of the ramp in a flash to retrieve his skateboard, and he swung it a few times, as if it were a club. "I'm in the mood to kill something now... what say we make it some reptiles?"
Justice grinned darkly, and flexed his metal fingers. "That's a big ol' ten-four, buddy. I'm up for some shell-squashing."
"Then let's go! Operation Rescue People is underway!" Curvegrinder yelled out to the air around him, and was off at a dead run. Justice was not far behind.

[acid]

And I was hoping this would be a story thread without too much nonsense, but Gecko came and ruined it. Argh.



Shortly after being deposited into a prison cell, Acid woke up. Finding that he was unable to move, he decided to call for help. "!" it was then Acid realised he was covered, head to foot, except for a few small openings for his eyes and nose, with tape. A few seconds later, the tape started quacking, and waddled off somewhere. "Fools, they should know better than to use duck tape. Duct tape is what they want," Acid muttered, looking around his cell. Aside from the rest of the taverners and the duck tapes, the cell was completely empty.
Spaztic chose that moment to wake everyone else up by screaming, "THEY TOOK MY SILLAY PUTTYEY!!!"

[Violet CLM]

Batty blinked dramatically before rising to his feet. Duck tapes flew in every direction, quacking, bouncing off the walls, and generally behaving like toons until the effect of having touched BB wore off. In this time, Batty had observed their surroundings, found the most logical explanation, and made a comment.
"So... we're in a prison."
Spaztic threw himself at the bars energetically. "Yes! And we must get out! For Iceland and my precious!"
"Whoa, whoa, calm down." said Acid, swatting at a duck tape which was trying to adopt his leg. He turned to Gen. "Has anything like this ever happened before?"
Gen beamed. Finally, his wisdom was being appreciated! "Yes, the War Taverners have been thrown in jail before. The Ostrich Police threw us all in for borrowing a car, but we got revenge!"
"And how did you get out?"
"Oh, well, I was going to use my mind to get us out, but we were rescued at the last moment."
Acid looked interested. "By whom?"
"Him." said Gen simply, pointing at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who was slumbering in the corner. Unwoken by Spaztic's scream of loss, he was lost in some dream of money and beer. None of the Taverners had quite the heart to wake him.

[Risp_old]

Since it was clear that the mysterious black rabbit wasn't going to do anything but dramatically lurk in the shadows, the fox and bird walked out of the building. The fox said "Whatever, I should get back on the job." The bird responded with "So, where will we be going?" "Well, last time I heard the mage we are tracking was working with the Duck Tape cult, so.... we should just go to where the Duck tape cult is based." "... Duck Tape cult?" "Duck Tape cult. We should be able to get past their Duck Tape monsters. Comeon', we need to go. I'll lead, you follow behind, and be quiet." With that the fox started to run down the path and the bird, as he flew behind, vanished.

[acid]

"Finally, something is going my way! Well, sure, I just gave a complete stranger $100, but otherwise, my plans are coming together!"
"A random duck tape and sophisticated bird creatures are part of your plan?"
"Yes! Er, I mean no, but it all works out the same. The duck tape got rid of the taverners, and the birds are giving me the intelligence I need from an army! How is the demolition coming, by the way?"
"Not very well. We have removed all furniture and stuff from the building, but a group of tuf turtles couldn't find out how to use the bulldozers and wrecking balls and..."
"Both the machinery and my offices are rubble now, I presume."
"Well, yes, but at least they didn't destroy half of the offices."
"That's good, then. Go and get the bird leader, tell him to demolish the tavern. I can't trust my own goons anymore..."
"They seemed to be doing well with the construction of the offices..."
"That was mostly the lizards. And lizards are tricky. I can never tell whether any of them are really on my side. I thought I told you to GO!"
"Y-yes, sir!"

[Violet CLM]

The elderly woodpecker (let's call him "Artemis") stepped through the doorway into the Tavern. Despite the lack of inhabitants, the door had managed to get itself blown inward again, so there was little difficulty in doing this.
The building was impressive. So, this is where they all came from... thought Artemis, noticing what appeared to be a cherry table running the bar. Speedy and GenEX and the irish rabbit and all the rest... oh yes, and Tyf.
Tyf.
Why does that name make me feel strange? She had been somewhat beautiful, but one sees a lot of attractive women when they're a director of a sure-to-be-big-hit-movie, so...
so...
Tyf.
Artemis' reverie was interrupted when a drawling voice interrupted his reverie. "Sorry to interrupt your reverie..." it drawled, interrupting his reverie, "but I'm just a bit curious what you're doing here."
Artemis whirled, scanning the shadows for the source of the drawling voice which had interrupted his reverie. "Who's there?!"
A black rabbit stepped from one of the countless dark corners provided by the War Tavern free of charge. Unlike many of his species, he was clothed, and leisurely spun a small blue handgun. "One who is not yet important to the storyline. Now, I've got a handgun, and while your beak is rather effective on trees, I doubt it's going to be much use against a sentient being, so why don't you just answer my first question?"

Artemis nodded slowly; he had dealt with this kind before. This black rabbit was the hero of his own personal life drama, had infinite cool, and probably believed himself immortal. The best method of dealing with them was to play along. And he did have a gun.
"I'm... ah... surveying this building for anything of monetary or historical importance, before it gets demolished by the Ostrich Peeps of Tubelectric."

The black rabbit grinned slowly; he had dealt with this kind before. This woodpecker was a stereotypical wise old man, had sufficent power to deal with no-threat interlopers, and probably believed that the black rabbit was unaware of the woodpecker's connection with the Ostrich Peeps. The best way of dealing with them was to take utter control without them noticing. I do have a gun, of course.
"I'm sure you are. And have the Ostrich Peeps let you know why this curiously designed building is so empty and ready to be demolished?"

Artemis sighed. Was this black rabbit trying to get on his nerves? "Well, no, I hadn't been informed. Did they not simply get bored of these surroundings?"

The black rabbit sighed. Was this old woodpecker trying to be useless? "Ah, and that's where you're wrong, my friend. It seems the Duck Tape Army captured the entire population and took them to Devan's jail cells."

Artemis remained calm. So the Taverners were gone - could only make it easier to demolish the empty building. But... jail cells... entire population... "...was one called Tyf taken with them?"

The black rabbit outwardly remained calm, despite inwardly gloating. Evidently this hired thug had a weakness among the Taverners, making it child's play to halt the demolition plans. Tyf, eh?
"Oh, indeed. Took everyone, as I said. Was she the one crying out for her savior...?"

Artemis groaned and raced out of the building, slapping a few bills into the black rabbit's paw. Turning to the assembled Ostrich Peeps, he began to outline the plan. "Ok, listen up, everyone! Devan's been before us and captured the Taverners, robbing us of our military victory! I vote we get our revenge against him for this treachery. Who's with me?!"
There was a rousing chorus of ostrich noises, and the army began returning to base.

The black rabbit grinned and looked around the building again. One threat down, maybe two if the Ostrich Peeps were good fighters. Now, who were those strange creatures stealing his color scheme a while back...?

[Risp_old]

The fox stopped in front of a building. The building was dark, gloomy, and so obviously the stronghold of a cult it was depressing. He walked to a window (draped in black masking tape!) and looked inside. The halls were crawling with guards (quacking! how can tape quack?), but none of them saw the fox (who would use such stupid guards?). Then, signalling behind him, the fox faded away. A minuit later a nearby door opened and closed itself. In the next room, the dust, thick layers of dust accumulated in the years since the cleaning staff died, was parted by invisible footsteps. At the jail cell block holding the Taverners, a few minuits later, the door swung open. Noone stood in the doorway, and noting could be heard save a slight flapping noise, inaudible in the ominous creak of the door's hinges.

[4I Falcon]

*is eventually going to write more on Justice and Curvegrinder... sometime*

[Alister]

Toxic awoke. At least, he thought he was awake. He still had his eyes closed, which never seemed to happen much in his dreams. But he could hear quacking all around him. Had he fallen in the town pond again?
He opened his eyes. As he thought, he was not knee-deep in water. There was, however, something on his knee.
Quack!
The duck tape unwound itself and flew away to join its frolicking comrades. Toxic's camera fell to the floor.
"I take it we're in jail?" asked toxic, eyeing the ominous black bars in the cell door.
"Yes. But we will soon be free!" declared Acid, confidently. The room went quiet, in anticipation of Acid's escape plan. Even the duck tape settled down silently. All eyes were on Acid, who began to look uncomfortable.
Someone rolled an inflatable tumbleweed across the floor.
"Well... uh... I'm sure someone will come to our rescue."
"Who knows we're here, though?" asked Batty.
It was at that moment they heard the ominous creak.
"Er... hello?" said Toxic. Peering through black bars, the taverners could see the cell block door wide open. Light from the hall outside shone out along the central passage. But there was a distinct lack of either a heroic or a daunting silhouette. And none would come, for at that moment all the lights came on.
"At last!" exclaimed Toxic. A few of the taverners looked at him inquisatively. But he did not know something they didn't. At least, he knew very little they didn't.
"I can switch nightvision off! I can make a full colour broadcast!"
Spaztic groaned. The taverners turned back to the cell door, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever would appear in the doorway. Toxic put the camera to his eye and waved it around.
"No more green monochrome! look at the grey of the walls! The black of the bars! The brown of the benches! The beige of the ostrich head!"
The taverners looked around. Sure enough, an ostrich's head was poking through the window, topped with a very small tin helmet.
"Here!" yelled the ostrich.

[Risp_old]

Another door, the one opposite to the door just opened, also opened itself. Some footprints appeared on the floor, leading out the door, but then doubled back. There was a slight thud, a whispered "come on! We have a job to do!" and the footprints lead out. The door closed.

[acid]

"FOO WANTSH TO BE INVYSHAYBULL!!!" Foo screamed, rushing into the door that the invisible rescuer had just went through. WHAM. Unfazed, Foo tried opening the door before charging outside rapeating what he had said a few seconds earlier.
Acid dashed out of the door after Foo, screaming equally loud that Foo should keep quiet.
After the shock wore off, the rest of the Taverners started ambling out the door, not so much to escape as to see what happened next.

[Risp_old]

As the taverners peered past the door, they saw past it a large room. Lit by a ring of candles, the room had runes etched into the walls and a big pentagram on the floor. In the center of the room a creature stood, wearing a heavy, face-conceiling robe. It was tall, and guant. It turned, and said, to thin air "Your illusion does not fool me." You are in this room. A fox appeared, dropping from invisiblity. It was light blue and... wait, didn't I already describe him? He drew his sword, which was made of wood. He ran forwards and started to run circles around the figure. Unseen to the figure, but seen to the taverners, a line of footprints appeared, leading to the figure. The figure casted a spell, and a fireball shot toward the fox. It passed through him. A foot from the mage, the fox really became visible, and the illusionary fox disapeared. The fox put his sword to the mage's neck and said "not good enough. You lose."

[Risp_old]

Err... four problems-
1. it was a circle of candles on the ground, not a chandelier (sp?)
2. when did that black rabbit get here?
3. what happened to the mage? I mean, my fox character (who I still haven't had a chance to say his name) is a bounty hunter. He wouldn't just kill it.

EDIT- thank you. Continuity has now returned. Now for me to play some FFT.

[Gecko]

errr Scratch that then.......

[4I Falcon]

Curvegrinder peered in through a window, wobbling about slightly on Justice's shoulders. The gold-furred rabbit beneath him grunted as he strained to hold him up. "What's going on? What's in there?"
"Ssh!" Curvegrinder almost toppled backward off of Justice's shoulders as he turned around to silence him. "Shut up for a sec, I can't hear a thing!"
Grudgingly silencing himself, Justice leaned himself against the wall via his head, and Grinder flattened his head and ear to the window, trying to hear what was going on inside. All he could hear was a bit of muttering, but what he saw was definitely strange at very least.
Suddenly, Justice stumbled, and Grinder tasted blood in his mouth as he banged his head on the sill of the window. He crashed down onto Justice's head, and immediately fell over sideways, rolling once before stopping his fall.
"Oi!" Grinder snarled at Justice. "What the heck--"
His irritated inquiry was cut short as he felt a split second of pain ringing across the back of his head, and then everything went black.

[Violet CLM]

"I know I've got company." said the blue fox, not bothering to turn around. "If you'll excuse me, I'm on a mission right now, so I don't feel all that sociable."
"Not a problem." said the intruder, melting into the shadows to wait.
The fox nodded slowly, and returned full concentration to the task at hand. "As you'll doubtless understand, Mr. Mage, I don't want to kill you."
The mage offered no response.
"But this blessed iron is powerful enough to negate all your magic, and there is a possibility if you try to get away using more conventional methods that this blade might just slip a little."
Still nothing.
"Still silence? Very well." Smiling, the fox brought his other paw up in a fist at a calculated speed. The mage crumpled to the ground, and was quickly bound. Satisfied, the blue fox turned around to the shadows by the doorway.
"You must be the mysterious stranger."
The black rabbit stepped into the light once more. "And you must be the heroic bounty hunter."
The blue fox bowed graciously. "At your service."
"Have you let the Taverners out yet?"
"Of course."
"Good. Now, suppose you answer a few questions?"
The blue fox gained an expression of mock outrage. "Surely, sir, you realize doing so would be breaking several of my employer's rules. However, if you'll just stand still for a few moments, my colleague and I will be happy to take care of you."
The rabbit smiled ever so slightly before punching the air next to him. The black bird suddenly reappeared at the spot struck, before falling to the ground in a heap of feathers.
"Now that we have both eliminated our opponents," began the rabbit, "let us continue." Gaining no response from the slightly impressed fox, he went on. "The Taverners were kidnapped by Devan Shell and the Duck Tapes. The Ostrich Peeps have arrived from Tubelectric, you and your avian friend are here doing who knows what, there are a couple of peeping toms outside with a severe headache, and I have a feeling this all has something to do with that mage you have over there. Explain."

[Risp_old]

Maby I should just tell people where my character's profiles are... page 5, everyones characters.

Name: Martin Teiamet
Nickname: none
Age: 23
Gender: male
Species: fox
Fur: dark blue
Clothes: a sky blue shirt and pants
Eyes: very light blue eyes, even lighter than his sky blue clothes
Appearance: very cheerful looking, Martin's light blue motif distracts enemies and makes him the center of attention. If he needs to be less conspicuous, Martin asks Delta for cover.
Skills: skilled with his sword, since his rifle is little use against a mage.
Special abilities: is utterly invincible to all forms of magic and mental powers. Dispels enchanted/magic objects with a touch
Weapons: A laser rifle and an all-wood broadsword (made of very strong wood. Martin finds that he can channel his abilities into wood or organic objects he is touching)
Personality: cheerful when off duty, and very serious when on. Martin has quick reactions and an unnerving confidence. He is not scared by the greatest of mages or the strongest of telepaths for good reason, and thus he has grown to be calm in the face of great skill and power.
Occupation: Assassin and bounty hunter, specializes in mages
Likes: swordfighting,
Dislikes: not finishing a job, being impervious to healing magic
Friends: his adopted brother Delta, people who make an effort to be his friend
Enemies: rogue mages, telemarketers
Quote: "It’s a splinter day again."

Name: not known
Nickname: Delta
Age: unknown, most likely around 10 in human years
Gender: male
Species: bird
Feathers: black, in some places mottled with red
Clothes: a light black cloak (light enough to fly in)
Eyes: strikingly red
Appearance: a bird of the fishing type, ternlike. He has wings which are more long and flexible than that of an ordinary bird, but his talons are even more flexible. He could probably knit with them, if he was a person for needle working. He can and does do wiring with them, though.
Skills: very skilled in manipulating holograms. Delta is a master at confusing the enemy with such illusions
Special abilities: none
Weapons: Delta goes unarmed, but does carry a holographic projector everywhere, which he uses to avoid combat.
Personality: Delta is always focused one thing, quite unlike a less intelligent bird. However, he is bored with some things easily. What said things are is very erratic, and he can even be bored by one thing once then not bored by the same thing a day later. Delta also is very intelligent in his field of work, but not so socially.
Occupation: electrical engineer
Likes: computer games, holograms
Dislikes: water in amounts larger than a glass full, telepaths
Friends: his 'brother' Martin, people who are nice to him
Enemies: unfriendly people
Quote: "Another ocean? This planet needs a paint job, for sure."

[Violet CLM]

The black rabbit began to look annoyed. "Well?"

[Risp_old]

I just felt slightly annoyed with that 'blessed iron' thing. I mean, why have an anti-magic artifact if you are one? He could just channel his own anti-magic into the mage.

And now, my new portion of the story-

Delta woozily got up, flickering between a bird, a mess of blinking colors, and random textures. "Ugh... I think the holographic projector got scragged." Martin started to speak. "I was simply going for a target. This mage held a high bounty, as he was terrorizing this area, transmogrifing citizens and policemen alike into duck tape creatures. He was recently confermed to have teamed up with the duck tape cult, and was apparently suppling them with freshly transformed duck tape monsters. I and my adopted brother here went onto the job, and I obviously just captured this mage. We will learn more once I return him to my clients, as they will interrogate him and I will be there to hear what he says." Martin bent down and picked up the mage.

[Gecko]

Oh and the black rabbit's name is Gecko (But he's different from the one in E:JF, but he has the same weapons though, except the ship)

"So, how do we get out?" Said Gecko "Theres no kind of doorway out, just prison Doors, but I forgot how I got in......." He pauses walks over a wall and feels the surface "I knew it! these walls are fake! I can walk through it without a Scratch!" Gecko then moves right through the illusionary wall and finds a tunnel with Tuf Turtle guards with blasters. And so, Gecko comes back through the wall "Ummmmm, guys we've got a problem, a few Guards are around.......CARRYING BLASTERS! I've never seen that kind of blaster, so how much damage it'll do is unknown. Oh and FireFox catch!" And Gecko tosses FireFox's blaster.

[Violet CLM]

Gecko, have you read any of the last 21 posts?

[Gecko]

uhuh I did, almost twice

[Violet CLM]

1. The Taverners escaped from the prison some time ago, and are somewhere inside the building.
2. The black rabbit is with Delta and Martin in the mage's room.
3. Ducky has Firefox's blaster, and Ducky does not seem to have arrived yet.

[Risp_old]

Actually, the taverners are (or were) in the prision room out of their cells, watching the mage's room through the door.

[4I Falcon]

And to think I was going to reply to Gecko's post. Fie on myself.

[Risp_old]

Man Gecko, you killed this thread.

[Strato]

Well, I'm here!

oh

This thread is already well underway. I"ll write myself in anyway....after I've read the posts.

Strato held his head with his hands.
“Why must they always be such complicated matters. If the siphon breaks out and spreads to the Castle territory, our race may as well be completely extinct. However if there were any ways to contain the disease then there would be no problem. However the only known way is too kill the infected individuals. But not even our top agents can survive for long against the infected. Perhaps if would could just find her, maybe she knows a cure.�
A blue light flashed through his broken window and danced across his floor. It changed to red. Then Strato knew that the police had finally found him. He breathed in and reached under the couch feeling for a briefcase. His hand played across a cold steel box, and found the handle. He yanked it out and fumbled with the latches. Outside he heard the sound of a door slamming and footsteps.
“They’re about to get a nasty surprise� Strato muttered under his breath and gave a laugh.
Silence followed as Strato opened the case. Inside was a mini arsenal of Uzi’s and even a military class assault rifle.
*Tuhtuhtuhtuhtuhtuhtuhtuthtuh*
Strato heard a thud outside.
“Hmm, that motion activated machine gun certainly pays for itself.� Strato said. He slammed together the stock and the barrel of the gun. As he pulled down on the lock he heard more sirens in the distance. He heard a small voice in his ear.
“I’m wondering. How do you live as a fugitive Strato?� He said.
“I’ve always been alone. I pick up these skills as I go.� Strato gave with another small laugh.
“You really have changed since the beginning of the siphon’s initial outbreak.�
“People change. Sometimes not always for the best. I’m wondering, how has the reconstruction of the teleportation core coming along?� Strato asked nonchalantly.
“You’ve got one teleport for about 20 feet.�
“Not good enough. Good to keep in touch though. Gooday James.� Strato tapped his ear twice and then readied reached back into the box and retrieved the last thing. He brandished a saber, and then slid it into its holster on his belt. He ran the door and down the unilluminated street into the night.

[Ducky]

Well, I have absolutely no idea what's happening, but that Vermillion guy is difinitely crushworthy.

Duckay chased a few butterflies on her journey, but when she finally found some vestiges of the duct tape attack, she ended up falling asleep before she could follow the trail. Night fell as she dozed among the buttercups, and in the meantime, sinister plots were befalling her friends. If only she had a companion on her trek!

[4I Falcon]

Pleased to hear that I can invent characters that satisfy your tastes, Duckary. ^^

Sometime during the night, a lone figure dropped out of the tree, and landed on the ground next to Ducky without a sound. As he straightened up, he looked over her peacefully sleeping body, and couldn't help but smile. She looked so innocent, sleeping in the midst of a patch of flowers, and Stryker knelt down slowly to quietly adore her pristine beauty. She was breathing quietly, stretched out lazily on the grass, and a grin rested on her lips as she dreamt of something nice.
Stryker weighed his options: stay with Ducky and make sure she came to no harm, or continue his quest alone. He eventually came to a decision in favour of the former option, and he smiled in satisfaction to himself.
Without thinking, his hand trailed out from his side, and stroked Ducky's back gently. As he became aware of what he was doing, he pulled his hand away, and stood up, shaking his head as if to clear his mind. Taking one last look at Ducky, he disappeared into the dark night around them, but not so far away that he could not keep a watchful eye over the sleeping Ducky.

[Strato]

Strato ran down the dark street. He turned a corner at an intersection and ran to the east. As he ran through the night he saw the familiar face of the Hunter Seekers, chasing after him again. A police car turned out from an alley to directly face him. He pointed his assault rifle at the windshield and pulled the trigger. As the glasses shattered, a shard flew at his face and made a gash across his cheek. He then ran to the car, threw the now dead police officers body to the ground climbed in and made a 360 degree turn. The tires screeched in argument, but Strato turned a deaf ear and slammed on the pedal. He had driven many vehicles with their windshields shot out before so the wind was no longer a problem. Strato sped down the dark streets away from the Hunters, but nobody can run forever. He continued to drive for about 20 seconds until he heard a thud from behind him. He turned his head back and saw one of the Hunter Seekers has jumped onto his trunk and was about to smash the back window to his the car. Strato pulled out a hand gun from under the seat and fired at him. The glasses shattered, and he saw a dark figure roll off his car onto the street. Unfortunately when he turned back to look he noticed that he had driven out on the docks. The car flew off the dock into the ocean water.

To an outsider, Strato would have looked completly dead. He was floating entirly submersed, with no movement at all. A torrent of bubbles had propelled him out through the broken windshield, but he was still unconsious from the “crash�. Suddenly he opened his mouth and seemed to scream. All of the air in his lungs and mouth escaped in a large bubble. Strato clamped his jaws tightly shut and swam in the direction he thought was up. His orientation was completly shot. He didn’t know if he was swimming to safety or just going deeper. When he felt the last few bits of his strength leaving him, Strato thought he had finally came to the end until.

*FWOOSH*

“Looks like you’re not dead yet Strato.� James said in a mocking tone.
Strato snickered, and then tilted his head back, breathing in slowly and closing his eyes while treading water. Suddenly he was flashed with a giant search light from on the dock.
“Come on. There’s nowhere to run. If you give yourself in now you’ll at least get a slightly easier punishment.�
“Strato, there’s nowhere to run.� sighed James. “Looks like it’s over.�
“How far can I teleport?� Strato replied softly.
“Are you listening?� one of his assaliants yelled through a megaphone.
“About 25 feet.� James said through gritted teeth.
“Look, can’t we hack into any other low frequency teleport matrixs?� Strato asked hastily.
“Well, there is a small rift about a mile and a half away from here. It’s a long shot, but hey, don’t have any other choices. Establishing warp gate.� James uttered happily.
“IF YOU’RE PLANNING ANYTHING I SWEAR I WILL HAVE MY MEN SHOOT YOU!� One of the Hunters cocked a shotgun and aimed it at the floating Strato. Strato just gave a half wave, and his skin turned a semi-transparent blue. A flash followed, and Strato had left without a trace.




Time to write Strato's character thing...yeah.

[Coppertop]

4I: ROMANCE! AUGH!

[4I Falcon]

I aspire to be a hopeless romantic when I grow up. Congratulations myself!

[Coppertop]

YaY for you! <s>Most of the people here are hopeless, but not romantic.</S>
EDIT: 4I, check your PMs, darnit!

[4I Falcon]

PMs have been checked.

Now go check yours.

[Coppertop]

Did =D

Check it again, 41 >|

[4I Falcon]

Done.

Your turn.

[Violet CLM]

Gah, stop it. You both have enormous signatures and that little storyless conversation takes up lots of space.

Anyway, romance in stories, if handled well, is good. One of the things often missing from the last War Stories thread was character based plots, as it would usually involve just going off on an adventure or being attacked by the latest superhuman force. Any time people tried to do something different, it would end up with Cobra or Sakura rambling on about life and death or GenEX flying around the Tavern at high speeds. Carry on!

[Radium]

Anyway, romance in stories, if handled well, is good. One of the things often missing from the last War Stories thread was character based plots, as it would usually involve just going off on an adventure or being attacked by the latest superhuman force. Any time people tried to do something different, it would end up with Cobra or Sakura rambling on about life and death or GenEX flying around the Tavern at high speeds. Carry on!
You're my new favorite person.

[Strato]

w00t?

[4I Falcon]

Something needs to happen.

NOW.

Deja vu?

[Coppertop]

Yes. But I'm busy with my own story right now.

[4I Falcon]

And everyone else is being gainfully lazy right about now?

[Risp_old]

I can't do anything till someone else in the duck tape cult does something.

[4I Falcon]

Well, I'm not doing anything because I'm a lazy buttwick.

(*idly hopes that makes it into CT's sig*)

I'll maybe write something when I get out of this depressing writer's block. You'll all be happy to know that I did my last exam today, so there's a chance, although slim to nil, that I'll write another chapter for something.

[Coppertop]

Ha, you're lucky. I just did my first. Two hours writing on Brave New World and Romeo and Juliet. :r 4-page essays suck.

BTW, what quote do you want that one to replace? =P

[4I Falcon]

One of Radifoo's sounds like a nice option.

[Ducky]

Mmm. I would post something, but I accidentally set my J20 skin as something very strange and unfriendly, so I can't think and I'm sick too.

Will check back. :)

[Radium]

One of Radifoo's sounds like a nice option.Oy, I heard that!

[4I Falcon]

Congratulations, you're not deaf, blind, or illiterate.

*hugs Duckary* Get betterer.

REALLY LATE EDIT: Page claim in the name of the get-well card I wish I could give Duckeh. *presents the page to CT, and an imaginary get-well card to Dukki*

[Coppertop]

ANOTHER page?! *adds it to her collection and hugs Duckary*

[4I Falcon]

Well, I obsess. *bows flamboyantly*

[acid]

Oh, no, not the flamboyance again...

[4I Falcon]

PH34R the flamboyance.

[Coppertop]

<s>How much will you pay me?</s>

FLAMBOYANCE! *hugs 4I and Acid and Duckary*

Back on topic now, since I have nothing to really add to this thread.

[Strato]

I would reply but somebody else needs to do something k thnx.

[4I Falcon]

THE DEADNESS CAN GO ON NO LONGER! SOMETHING MUST HAPPEN!

...or I will kill someone. Nyuu.

I'd write something, but I need to go to bed. Har har har har.

[Risp_old]

Well, I believe Strato posted the last story segment. The last story segment in the Duck Tape cult building, where all my characters are, was posted by Gecko, but it is so inaccurate that I am pretty sure not to count it. The only way I could think to do anything would be to introduce another character, but then this character would need a quest (and a profile). However, there is a character I have had in mind for a while that I might use. He was at first for the Post 3.1 game, but since Lem_Gambino seems to have killed that, I suppose I should take this character elsewhere...

[Strato]

It seems that everyone who wants to write something won't.

[4I Falcon]

Won't, or can't. I'm in the throes of a massive writer's block. Have been since about mid-January. *sigh*

[Coppertop]

Writer's block sux0rz. Hugs.

[4I Falcon]

^^; *hugs back*

[Lem_Gambino]

Time to end this madness and restart the insanity. OMG I'M GOING TO WRITE IN THE WAR TAVERN LOL =D

L_G looked over at the remains of the construction site. It was in complete ruins, and the famous War Tavern was flattened beyond recognition. Dozens of dead turtle guards laid about, and the dark thunder clouds that L_G had summoned to zap everyone broke up into normal clouds. "I really didn't want to that..." says L_G, catching his breath. He shouldn't have lost his temper like that... "All I wanted to do was go for a drink and listen to some war stories, but that'll have to wait. Something's up and I'm going to find out what."
Drinking an X-Potion to regain his strength, L_G set out, following the footprints left by another rabbit...
...named Ducky. Of course, L_G didn't know who she was, since he is not omnipotent like the real-life L_G typing this right now.:D L_G shook his head and said, "She must be crazy, sleeping out here like this. Better set up camp." L_G reached into his pocket and took out a small capsule. He pressed the button and tossed the capsule on the ground. With a puff of smoke and a loud BOM! sound, the capsule tranformed into a small house with the words "Pandamonium Manor" on the side. L_G picked up the sleeping rabbit ('She must be a heavy sleeper,' thought L_G), and placed her on a bed that was far more comfortable than the cold, hard ground outside. The mysterious rabbit that was there earlier didn't like how this was turning out. He snarled, and moved closer to the little house.

[Risp_old]

<i>You should post a profile in everyone's characters.</i>

[Lem_Gambino]

I just might do that. Now, who else shall continue this story? It's kind of boring to have only one person write this, ya know...=/

[Risp_old]

<i>How does a random interlude posted due to not being able to do anything with my other characters at the moment sound?</i>

In his chair, bathed in the flickering lights from the video screens filling the wall of his command room, yet somehow still in a deep bubble of shadows and gloom, Rspss Fr broods. Suddenly, he perks up. He turns, spinning the rolling chair he is sitting in, and speaks. "Come." A figure detaches from the shadow where he was hiding, so skillfully one would say he was not there before...

[Lem_Gambino]

That's good. ;) I think I'll undo my last post, since Ducky hasn't been on this board in like, forever.

L_G overlooked the remains of the War Tavern. Surrounding on all sides were various construction equipment, all of which were deserted. L_G shook his head and said, "Devan's gone too far this time." He follows the footprints of turtle soldiers, until he encounters a stray Schwartzenguard. Having the order of killing any and all rabbits on sight, he raises his gun and fires...
Missing completely. L_G dodged the blast long before the guard could pull the trigger. He gets behind him and puts a hole right through the back of the guard's head. "Anyone who works for Devan should be punished. But since your life was miserable anyway, I decided to to relieve you of your pain. Rest peacefully," says L_G in a grim tone. He continues to foolow the footprints and sees a building in the distance.

[Doubble Dutch]

Dewar watched him leave, an expression of concern on the rabbits face. He stepped over the fallen guard. Another faliure, true the war tavern was gone, but no matter what he did they always seemed to prevail. Pitiful fools, thats what they were, all of them. He rubbed the scar on his neck thoughtfully. It wouldn't matter, soon enough he'd steal enough equipment to... There was no time for daydreaming; Devan's lackey's took a dim view to rabbits and when he reported his faliure he'd be in enough hot water to keep him on his toes for awhile.

[4I Falcon]

"What?!" Jack practically exploded. "What do you mean, the War Tavern's gone?"
"I only just heard about ten minutes ago," Firefox replied, trying to remain as calm as possible. "Something totalled the whole building."
"Like what?"
"If I knew, I'd tell you," Firefox said. "All I heard was that the 'Tavern was reduced to rubble, the construction site was completely deserted, and there wasn't any life for at least a mile around. I can only hope Ducky and Night Fire are okay."
Jack sat up quickly, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "I'm not going to just sit here and wonder what happened. No way. I'm coming with you."
"Are you nutty? You got stung by a giant scorpion. Who knows if that venom is still inside you?"
Jack felt around the side of his neck, where the sting had landed. "See? I'm fine. Absolutely fine. Now let's go."
Before Firefox could stop him, Jack was already up and out the door. Firefox could only give chase as Jack tore out of the hospital, dead-set on the War Tavern...

[Risp_old]

The figure walks forwards, and turns it's head up. From under a heavy hood, crazed red eyes glow like torches. A single chain link, glowing red so softly it is nearly invisible even in the gloom of the shadow, spins around him. He starts to speak, in a tone like the wind whispering through a tree. "Lieutenant General... one of my scryers has a report ready. It is... interesting." The figure melts back into the shadow, so artfully that said watcher would think he simply vanished.

Rspss Fr sighs at his left-hand man's need for dramatic entrances, and heads to the magic quarters.

[shaney]

@@[smiley: Club Me 8: [10/10_9_132]]

[Risp_old]

...?

[Lem_Gambino]

My thoughts exactly.

[4I Falcon]

If I had any thought to begin with, that is certainly what it would be.

[4I Falcon]

SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING >(((

One can tell that 4I is aggravated when he starts writing all in caps with no sign of punctuation. This means 4I is aggravated.

[Coppertop]

I'm getting the feeling that 4I is aggravated. I wonder why?

Anyway, I'd write but I've lost track of what's going on.

[Violet CLM]

The main problem is that people are just writing about themselves, whether or not they actually have anything to do with the story. I'll try to figure out what's going on later, and maybe then post something.

[4I Falcon]

*agrees with Unknown*

[Risp_old]

I disagree. The main problem is that almost everyone was in the duck tape cult building, and thus the entire plot there froze when Gecko stopped posting. I was about to have my namesake character actually join the rest of the story as best as I could, if it wasn't that I was the last one that did something.

[acid]

"What the flippin' heck happened here?" asked Jack, observing the wreckage of the 'tavern. A large crowd of animals had gathered at the pile of rubble, but none could supply an answer to his question. He tried again. "Does anyone know what happened to the rabbits inside?"
"Sure, I know!" supplied an energetic young squirrel. "They got hauled off by duck tapes!"
A duck tape conveniently walked by at that moment, quacking.
"Do you know where they were taken?"
"I think they were taken to Devan, but we have no idea what Devan did to them."
"Argh, argh argh!"
"Jack, considering what you've been through, you shouldn't put this much stress on yourself," warned Firefox.
"Not put so much stress on myself, eh? Oh sure, and I suppose lying in bed worrying about what happened would have been better?!"
"Point taken."
Jack looked around, to see if there could possibly be any more clues. He noticed a pair of rabbit tracks, leading to a dead schwartzenguard...

[4I Falcon]

Yay for Acid!

[Violet CLM]

"I'm coming with you," said the black rabbit, glancing at the mage. "I have my reasons."
"Sorry," replied Martin, beginning to exit the room, "but this guy is classified information now. Just feel lucky we weren't ordered to destroy the building."
The rabbit silently fumed as Delta and Martin left, carrying the mage with them. Obviously, they were not going to willingly give him the information he required. He would have to follow them.
So thinking, the black rabbit melted into the shadows, slinking along the walls at a quite impressive speed. He was still following when Delta and Martin exited the building, and reached their high-tech transporation. He was inside when it took off.

"Quick!" secreted Acid, jumping away from the doorway. "They're coming this way! Everyone hide!"
There was instant pandemonium. Batty Buddy took the easiest route and flew up to the ceiling. Spaztic, Toxic and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran into a dark passage, while everyone else poured off to the left in a pushing, shoving mass of bodies and fur.
(Can't stop running,) thought Spaztic, (or the clowns will eat me. Can't stop running, or the clowns will eat me. Can't stop running, or... whoops!)
(This sort of thing NEVER happened when I acted like I was in charge!) thought BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, narrowly missing a statue of the Drabian God of Wisdom. (Why, in the old days, I'd have had a super weapon and a merchandising scheme ready last tuesday, before this mess even started! Now all I can think of is beer. Mmm... ack!)
(It's too dark.) thought Toxic. (Oops.)
With varying degrees of surprise and anger, the three fleeing Tavern peeps fell down a flight of stairs into an equally dark basement.
"Whoa... where are we?" asked Spaztic, unaware of the one thing that could always be found in basements.
"...FREE BEER!" shouted BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, grabbing a crowbar and attacking the nearest barrel.

Ducky gradually woke up, memory of where she was and what had happened slowly reasserting itself. The cherry table... Devan... Foo... Elias... Firefox's blaster...
Ducky quickly sat up, looking around. There it was. Not stolen or anything. Good. Now, where was she going...?
After a few minutes of thought, Ducky decided she didn't really have any set direction in mind. The War Tavern was the usual landmark, but it didn't seem safe right now. Maybe if she walked on for long enough, she'd run into Clockwork!

Stryker jumped from tree to tree, making sure not to fall far enough behind that Ducky would be out of his line of vision. She was obviously not a very warlike person, and considering the number of political upheavals lately, it was unwise to wander around Carrotus without a protector. Stryker knew he made an excellent protector, what with his elite ninja skills and all. Although with that blaster she was carrying, trouble was bound to happen no matter how close an eye he kept on her.
...in fact, there was some now.
"Halt in the name of Tubelectric!" cried an old man's voice, and Ducky obediantly skidded to a halt. Stryker stopped as well, choosing a good place to observe the happenings, but easy to exit from if such was required.
An army of ostriches marched into view, being lead by what was apparently an elderly woodpecker. As a body, they stopped, and aimed a strange assortment of weapons at Ducky, who glanced briefly at Firefox's blaster before deciding against it.
"You will... I say, aren't you from the War Tavern?" asked the woodpecker, staring intently at Ducky.
"Umm.. yes?"
"Then I'm afraid it's our duty to take you prisoner. Ostrich army... military victory time... NOW!"
"I don't think so." said Stryker, jumping down before he quite knew what he was doing. Ignoring Ducky's startled glance, he put on a show of false bravado. "You SHALL not pass!"

"...so that's when I decided to come back here." finished Dewar, looking down at the floor, as was expected when talking to Devan. That way, he did not notice the turtle's otherwise obvious aggravation.
Devan held his head in his hands. What was going wrong? He had had a plan - granted, it was more a string of hastily thrown together sub plots then a normal plan, but it had been a plan... and now everything was going to pot. The duck tapes had apparently been useless, his construction team were all but destroyed, and those song and dance ostriches were nowhere to be found.
"Any sign of the War Taverners?" asked Devan, trying to make the best of a bad situation.
"None, sir. I would assume they are still captured."
"Well, that's one point for us in this mess. At this rate, I'll have to postpone my attack another year, at least."
"A year, sir? But I did get the super weapons you wanted..."

"All right, you mage peoples, what have you got for me?" asked RSPSS, striding into the Magic Quarters.
"You aren't going to like it." replied one of the scryers, his eyes never leaving the crystal ball in front of him.
"Give it to me anyway."
"If you insist. One of our mages - the one assigned to the Duck Tape Cult Headquarters, if you recall..."
"I do recall. Get on with it."
"Certainly. One of our mages has been captured, by the Delta and Martin team, and is going to be interrogated within the hour."
"Argh. Well, what are you waiting for? Execute him before he can tell them anything."
"Understood." said the scryer, his hands beginning a series of strange mystic passes.

Meanwhile, Strato and James and Justice and Curvegrinder probably did something or other. I don't really know who any of them are and I don't feel like writing about them right now.

[Risp_old]

Martin looks back. Well, he has the mage, now knocked out and on the back of a truck Martin just rented so he wouldn't have to lug a mage around all day. He soon will have his pay. Everything seems to be going smoothly...

One thing you must learn in stories is to never, ever, think that.

The mage, after a moment of tense energy buildup that Martin would have noticed had magic any effect on him, suddenly changed. His body becoming more insubstantial, and shrinking slightly, the mage quickly evaporates. After cursing out loud, Martin springs to action. "I see no residue, it looks like an evaporation spell. But those are slow to cast, I think it might have been a spell kept in stasis on something he was wearing, like how spies keep cyanide pills on them in case of capture... but why would a mage who is working for a cult have something like this? They don't really expect to be suddenly captured and interrogated, or at least not enough to have a spell like this hidden on them..." Martin pauses for a moment in thought, and then goes on. "Delta, tell our employers about this."

[4I Falcon]

Despite the angered glares from the ostrich army, Stryker held his ground, putting his body between them and Ducky. He gave the birds an equally harsh stare, and shifted one foot back, putting himself into a fighting stance.
The woodpecker was mildly nonplussed, and he narrowed his eyes at the imposing rabbit. "Who do you think you are, blasted rabbit? ...Bah, it doesn't matter. Ostrich army, level arms. Prepare to fire on the rabbits on my mark."
Ducky wasn't one to be completely helpless, however, and she readied Firefox's blastgun behind Stryker's back. If there was going to be action, and there were enemies to be toasted, she'd have a part in it. Especially after what they did to her War Tavern.
"Ready..." the woodpecker called out. There was a series of clicks as the ostriches cocked their guns. "Aim..."
Faster than the woodpecker could compensate for, Stryker bolted forward, and dropped to his back, feet forward. The woodpecker commander only had time for a surprised, gasping squeak as Stryker's foot connected with the underside of his beak, and there was a sickening snap as the bird's neck cracked, rendering him immediately unconscious.
Then Stryker dove headfirst into the massed army.
It wasn't long at all before chaos spread through the ranks, as the slow-witted birds, in an attempt to stop, or at least slow down, the fighting rabbit, shot each other. Stryker was a cyclone of pain, dealing fists and feet in every direction; as soon as there was a target even remotely close to him, it was knocked for a loop, staggering backwards in agony as it clutched a broken something.
Stryker only flinched for a moment as numerous, regular booms rang out from where he had dashed from, as Ducky pounded at the outside of the clustered ostriches with Firefox's blaster. Feathers flew up into the air as the confused birds were quickly eviscerated by the high-powered shells set loose by the blaster. Stryker leaped upward, using a nearby ostrich's face for leverage, and was able to grab hold of a tree branch to use in swinging to Ducky.
Stryker landed neatly on the ground a few feet to Ducky's left, and came up beside her. "There are too many of them. We have to get out of here."
Ducky, despite her adrenaline rush, nodded rapidly. "I concur."
The ostriches were still befuddledly shooting at each other as Stryker and Ducky made a hasty exit.

A generous distance away from the battlefield, Ducky slowed to a stop, and listened to the sounds of the revived woodpecker's enraged squawking. She turned around as Stryker approached. "Thanks for saving my behind, but who are you?"
"Name's Stryker. I'm a friend of a good number of the regulars at your Tavern. I heard about what happened, and I decided to help you out in finding them."
Ducky thought about this for a moment. "So... you're just following me to make sure I don't get myself into trouble, I take it?"
"Yeah, that's about the size of it."
"Oh. Okay." Ducky glanced at a tree, and thought some more. "Well, um, do you know where we're going?"
"By the looks of it, we were heading towards Velo City."
"Okay then. Let's resume heading towards Velo City."
"Sounds like a plan to me."
They continued their journey, Stryker keeping an open ear and a quick eye out for trouble, and Ducky holding Firefox's blaster loosely in one hand.
"By the way, what was with that 'You shall not pass!' bit?"
"I haven't the slightest, to tell you the truth. I don't even like Lord of the Rings."

"Urgh, my head..." Curvegrinder muttered. "I feel like I got hit by a truck. Justice? Are you arou-- why do I smell beer?"
"Wozzat?" came a voice from a short distance away. "Who's there?"
Curvegrinder could only managed a confused "Huh?" as he felt someone nudging his leg.
"Who are you?"
"Um... depends, who are you?"
"Toxic Bunny, at your service, or something."
"Oh. Um, call me Curvegrinder. Or Grinder. Or whatever."
"Okay, whatever." He saw the shadowy outline of a hand extended to help him up, and he took it, grunting as he came to his feet.
"Oog, my aching head. Is Justice around?"
"Here," Justice replied, a short distance away. "You've been conked out for almost two days now, man."
"Seriously?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Well, get your lazy butt up, man! There's free beer around!"
Curvegrinder groaned. "No thanks. I already have a hangover to end all alcohol."
"Suit yourself," Justice replied, as he strode off to get some more beer.

To be continued.

[Risp_old]

Delta turns to Martin, though this is a pointless gesture for someone usually invisible. "I contacted our employers. They are... unhappy about the loss, but they at least know that there is one rouge mage that won't be troubling the community again."
Martin looks at their stuff, and grimaces. "We really need to resupply, and I bet you need to get your projector repaired. You keep on flickering."
"I sure do need to get it repaired." A spark jumps up from the projector onto him, and he turns visible again. "Badly."
"Well, then let's head out for some repairs. Where is the nearest city that has both an electrical workshop and a market?"
"This place is rather backwater, which makes it unsuprising this duct tape mage was able to get so many victims. I'd say the best place for our needs, and the nearest, is... Velo City."
Martin starts up the truck, and sets off.
Delta coughs. "Wrong direction. Velo City is that way."
Martin looks at his map, and nods. He turns, and sets off in the right direction this time.

So, Martin and Delta head off to Velo City also. How much of a suprise was that?

[4I Falcon]

SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING >(((

One can tell that 4I is aggravated when he starts writing all in caps with no sign of punctuation. This means 4I is aggravated.

Repetition is all the rage these days.

[Risp_old]

Posting two peices of story in a row without anything happening inbetween is not, however.

EDIT- here's something funny I noticed.
When Martin and Delta came to the duck tape building, they did so on foot (or wing, or whatever). When Vio made that part of the story after Acid, Martin had some 'high tech transportation.' When I posted after that, Martin had a truck he just rented. I just love it when people don't pay attention to each other (me included, I didn't notice that 'high tech transportation' thing till now.)

[4I Falcon]

True. Thus, we need to RECRUIT TEH WTERS TO AIDIFY TEH STORY MAKEISM *flort*

[Risp_old]

Methinks it is time to bug someone like L_G or Vio to do it.

[acid]

I'll read it through and then maybe post something. Eventually.

[4I Falcon]

Meanwhile, I shall claim the page.

*snatch*