Sequel to Magical Viklas I, Magical Viklas II, and Magical Viklas III. Written by iCeD, Mike and Spaztic as per usual. Reposted from before, because Greymatter is a piece of ass-lard.
Our story begins with Martha Stewart. She was in her prison cell, using smuggled in monies to plan to her large-scale attack on the United Nations headquarters. Her plan was to utilize the monies to invest in the booming fire hydrant fetish porn industry which was directly tied to UN funding. Kofi Anon got word of this, and decided it would be best to contact ZOMBIE SUPERMAN. He quickly went to work and began building a bulbous aardvark of certain or highly probable death named Gandalf II: This time it's not just Magic.
After construction of this hellbeast was complete, Kofi and ZOMBIE SUPERMAN realized that the best utilization of it would be to make it catch on fire and explode, because that would be really, really cool to watch. Unfortunately, the hellbeast was already on fire, and wasn't affected by the TNT. Instead, it just became enraged. Gandalf II went on a frightening tirade one afternoon and turned the entire country of Costa Rica into, as the natives call it, an "infierno del diablo". Actually I just made that name up because it sounds cool. Anyway, after that, Gandalf II began melting, because ZOMBIE SUPERMAN and Kofi Anon were fucking idiots and built him out of snow.
Speaking of fucking idiots, Magical Viklas decided to actually join the plot. He jumped right into the scene with his trusty explosive squadron of suicide bombers. He contacted Martha Stewart and explained that he thinks she is Satan, and therefore thinks she would be a powerful ally in the ongoing war on Danish dog porn, enemy of Swedish puppy porn and fire hydrant porn. Martha Stewart's only reaction was to begin the first phase of her attack on the UN HQ. The first phase of her plan was to basically distract everyone by lighting them on fire, then to kick ass and take names. The only problem with that plan was that she was still in prison.
She devised a plan to escape: She told Viklas to bring her a ceramic bowl, duct tape, lube, the corpse of Christopher Reeve, and to use the corpse to distract the guards into feeling sympathy, then lube them up and have sex with them. After that, she just walked out of the jail because it was minimum security and allows inmates to leave whenever they want to. Viklas exploded. The exploder? None other than a gigantic undead version of Rick James, who, while completely irrelevant to the plot, decided it would be best to not go there. That joke is way overdone. Back in the ruins of Costa Rica, things were not going well for ZOMBIE SUPERMAN and his cohorts. It seemed the aardark hellbeast had somehow spawned millions of overlords.
ZOMBIE SUPERMAN soon fell victim to a Zerg Rush, however Gandalf II, who somehow made his way back into the story, decided to go live with Santa because he was made out of snow. Suddenly, a lurker killed Kofi Anon. The lurker was none other than Swedish puppy porn enthusiast Bob Barker, a good friend of Viklas. Bob Barker proceeded to break down and cry because he realized killing was wrong. Unless he got money for it. He phoned up Martha Dtewart and asked her if she would give him money for helping destroy the United Nations. Her response was "You forgot Poland."
Holy shit this made him pissed off. He proceeded to brutally murder every single fucking person in existance, until he got to Martha Stewart. At that point, she went super saiyan and began to charge up her energy beam attack. At that moment, Bob Barker mistook her for a Jew and stabbed her in the eye with his super dragon X charged fury 5 finger. The resulting blood and guts traveled all the way to the INTERNETS!
The End.
(Don't worry if you're confused by the whole page getting erased aside from this entry, we are too)
>> iCeD
[3 slit wrists]
