Description:
It's quite often that you get spam messages offering for some blatant
"make-your-own-money" service, trying to convice you to join by using
run-of-the-mill professional lingo and a not-so professional website
accompanied with it.

However, it's not so often you get messages like this:

'SCREW ASS 1: Dudes Wanna make $150 a month or more by being on your fuckin
computer? Im not bullshitting you and im not a bot... IM me for questions.'

Now, isn't that bursting with professionalism? Don't you want to sign up for
this service, if it even exists at all, right away? I hope not. Add the
incredibly odd username that you probably wouldn't find in most business
directories, and you've got yourself a true prankee. Read on.

ElectroPiZZa: OMGOMGMOGMG!!!!!!!! $150 a month?? gee that would be super peachy dandy dudley!!!!11
SCREW ASS 1: its bad ass try it
SCREW ASS 1: i get more $$ if u sign up and u get more $$ if u get peeps to sign up under ur name
ElectroPiZZa: omg thats soooooooooooooooooooooooo boss.  give me more info plz thx??
SCREW ASS 1: go to (link deleted)
ElectroPiZZa: i need $$ u see cause like i wasted money on this game cald TRUCK ADVENTURES 3 and i want to save money for extrem paintbrawl.
SCREW ASS 1: then click my link
SCREW ASS 1: Dudes Wanna make $150 a month or more by being on your fuckin computer? Im not bullshitting you and im not a bot... IM me for questions.  (link deleted)
ElectroPiZZa: I KNOW THAT ALREDY THX
ElectroPiZZa: what do i hav 2 do to get $$?
SCREW ASS 1: just be on the computer
SCREW ASS 1: im me if u need help
ElectroPiZZa: do i hav to sign up or something?
ElectroPiZZa: i AM IMING you, what do you think this conversation is being, YA?!!?!??!!@?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
SCREW ASS 1: yeah to get checks
ElectroPiZZa: to get chicks?
SCREW ASS 1: no, checks
ElectroPiZZa: oh, HUH??!?!?!
ElectroPiZZa: whats a check
SCREW ASS 1: like $$ on paper
SCREW ASS 1: like you go to a bank and cash it to get $$
ElectroPiZZa: dude how is that possible.
SCREW ASS 1: it just is
ElectroPiZZa: but i get $$ and you get $$ too, whats the catch?
SCREW ASS 1: $50 every 4 days
SCREW ASS 1: no catch
ElectroPiZZa: do i need to give you my credit card number?
SCREW ASS 1: yes of course
ElectroPiZZa: ok... I think it's, wait, ACDFSGACMESHIBBYPRACTICERFANECIKLIPIZMVOMISNVEBOBMFALLENFJ.
SCREW ASS 1: thats not a nnumber
ElectroPiZZa: i do not care what you want to call it, bud, that's my credit card number.
SCREW ASS 1: but thats not a credit card number
ElectroPiZZa: look. i got a master's college degree in 1798, and do you think i do not know my numbers from letters?! do i look like some sort of
FOOL?? and they say i failed my english test. I AM OF THE IMAGINING THAT THE ANTIBELIEVABLE SITUATION HEREBY IS OF QUITE MOSTLY UNPOSSIBLE!
SCREW ASS 1: your lying, your probably 5 or something
ElectroPiZZa: 5 what? age? IQ? number of fingers on each toe? number of times i ate a rhinoceros today?
SCREW ASS 1: age, god
ElectroPiZZa: age according to what? the number of months my cheddar cheese has aged?
SCREW ASS 1: YOUR AGE STUPID
ElectroPiZZa: HEY, I RESENT THAT! I age my cheese perfectly fine. and your shouldve be the learning of the grammar.
ElectroPiZZa: THX
SCREW ASS 1: you stil cant tell numbers from letters and that makes you stupid
ElectroPiZZa: look, i'm going to go get my attorney. he'll settle all of this with you!
SCREW ASS 1: bring him on, bizach
ElectroPiZZa: AHURM, I AM OF THE BEING OF SIR ELECTRONIC PIE WITH SAUCE AND CHEESE'S ATTORNEY. HOW MAY OF I BEING OF THE ASSISTING OF YOU?
SCREW ASS 1: what do you want
ElectroPiZZa: I AM WANTING NONE OF THE ANYTHING! DID YOU NOT OR DID YOU DID WANT REQUEST OR INQUIRY OF QUESTION TO ATTORNEY AT ANY CIRCLE STANCES?!?!
SCREW ASS 1: go back to grammer school
ElectroPiZZa: GRAMMAR IT SPELLED YA! I IS FLUIDLY FLUENT IN ALL OF THE SPECTS AS OF GRAMMAR!! ME GRAMMAR BETTER THAN ALL OTHER POSSESSING OF THEIR INDIVIDUAL GRAMMAR THEY ARE HAVING!! I AM HAVING MUCH WORK TO BE FINISHING BY DOING ALL THE WORK IN A GIVEN AMOUNT OF TIME SO I CAN FINISH THE WORK, SO I AM REQUESTING THAT YOU ARE FINISHING YOUR STUPID QUESTYOWNES SO I CAN GET
OUT OF THE ELECTRONIC INTERWEB E-MALE OR WHATEVER YOU ARE OF CALLING IT COMPUTING MACHINE, YA?
SCREW ASS 1: go away
ElectroPiZZa: FINE! I SHALL BE PUTTING YOU OF UNDER THE ARRESTING SITUATION IF YOU IS NOT TO BE STOPPING THIS FOOLISH NESSNESS!!
ElectroPiZZa: sorry, you have to excuse my attorney. anyway, do you work for the government?
SCREW ASS 1: yeah im 15 and i work for the gov.
ElectroPiZZa: wow!! you must be a super uber-government business fellow! I AM HONORED!! I WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH IMEDIATLY OR I CAL POLICE THX
ElectroPiZZa: say, do you accept donuts as cash?
ElectroPiZZa: DONUTS ARE OUR IDOL AND WE MUST LOOK UP TO THEM IN PROFIT!! THEY ARE OF WHICH WE STAND ON SOIL!!!! WE BREATHE AIR THANKS TO THE UBER-DONUT!!
ElectroPiZZa: THE UBER-DONUT IS WATCHING US ALL!!!
SCREW ASS 1: no donuts are not accepted
ElectroPiZZa: WHAT?!?! THE UBER-DONUT WILL ERADICATE YOU INTO OBLIVION FOR YOUR UNFAITHFUL ATTITUDE!!!
SCREW ASS 1: are you on drugs or somethin
ElectroPiZZa: NO!! I AM ON DONUT MAN!!!!! DONUT!!!!! TOTALLY MAN FOO!!!!1!1!!!!!!)#%*!#)%
SCREW ASS 1: go to a mental hospital and go away
ElectroPiZZa: OH! IT'S A MAN OF TWO DECLARATIONS!!!!! WOW!!! I MUST NOT ONLY GO TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL, BUT GO AWAY AT THE SAME TIME!!!!! OH NO!!!! WHAT A PREDICAMENT!!!!!!! IN THE NAME OF THE UBER-DONUT!!!
SCREW ASS 1: uber donut can kiss my ass
ElectroPiZZa: your donkey doesn't like the uber-donut though.
ElectroPiZZa: HE ARE EXTREMELY TRUCK
SCREW ASS 1: what
ElectroPiZZa: I EXTREMELY WANT MICROPHONE
SCREW ASS 1: go get one yourself
ElectroPiZZa: NO!! I EXTREMELY WANT MICROPHONE!!!
SCREW ASS 1: i dont care dude
ElectroPiZZa: OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER!! FOR ALL THE YEARS I'VE HELD YOU IN MY PERSONAL LOCKET, IT SHALL DISSOLVE INTO A HIDEOUS MESS OF COCKROACH JUICE!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!11 FOR THE EMPIRE OF ZUFUSS!!!!
ElectroPiZZa: DO U WANT TO SPEAK TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?!?!?!?!?!
ElectroPiZZa: HE LIKES DONUTS!!!!!!!!!!
ElectroPiZZa: OMG OMG GOM ROLFOLRFO FLOLOLOLO!!!!!!111111!!11111111111
ElectroPiZZa: C'MON!!!! WORSHIP THE UBER-DONUT!!!!!1111111!!!!!1111 NOW!!!
ElectroPiZZa: ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO A WORD I AM SPEAKING THROUGH MY VOCAL CORDS AND THEN TO THE UPPER THROAT WHICH THEN SENDS SOUND WAVES AROUND THE AREA AND TO OTHER PEOPLE'S EARS, YOUR EARS EXCLUDED?!?!?!
ElectroPiZZa: ?!?!?!! G HOMIE DAWG, YOU BE FEELIN'?
SCREW ASS 1: ............
ElectroPiZZa: AND IF YOU DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT ANY MORE IN MY PRESENCE, I SHALL BE FORCED TO REMOVE THE THRESHOLD OF THE AMBLONGADA, THE SUPREME BOTTLECAP DISPENSER OF ZULU!!!
SCREW ASS 1: ....................
ElectroPiZZa: THAT'S RIGHT, YOU ENJOY MY GARBAGE TRUCK!!! ISN'T IT SO FINE AND SUPERFICIALLY KIWI-FLAVORED??
ElectroPiZZa: I BET YOU WANT TO OBSERVE THE GARAGE.
ElectroPiZZa: HELOO?!?! HAVE I GOTTEN MY FREE CHICK YET??
ElectroPiZZa: FRIEND?
ElectroPiZZa: HOMIE G?
ElectroPiZZa: MR. SCREWY?
ElectroPiZZa: MR. SPOCK?
ElectroPiZZa: ANYONE?!