My new ninja comic first page avaible!

[NinJazz]

http://www.freewebs.com/fedoalninja/comic.htm
my newest comic!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fawriel]

^^;;;
"bye bye cars". So tragic.

[DoubleGJ]

Oh the blood! This is 15+!

[Radium]

Ninjajazz, you are the coolest person EVER. These comics are GREAT.

[NinJazz]

thank you folk

[NinJazz]

I just made Page3 now!!! check it http://www.freewebs.com/fedoalninja/comic.htm

[Monolith]

I didn't bother reading the text because it wasn't easy to read.

[NinJazz]

why? it is small because it takes then no much space, but it is still readable.

[NinJazz]

yeah, it is then +15 but I am 12!!!1 I may not see it 8D

[Violet CLM]

why? it is small because it takes then no much space, but it is still readable.
I think what Monolith means is the color. You've got black text on top of dark background, making it hard to see the words. This is why, in most comics, the artists place their ordinary text on white, like this:
http://www.tachyonlabs.com/sam/series1_3.gif
That's just an example, so I didn't spend much time on it, but the text is much easier to read this way. On a side note, you have really big panels right now, so you could probably make the text bigger without any problem. Choose a good font, a bigger size, remember to include text bubbles, and "it's not readable" should no longer be a problem.

[NinJazz]

thank you
I do that

[NinJazz]

ok, I fixed my comic, check it now

[Radium]

Nice. The wording got a bit better, too.

[Doubble Dutch]

Hahaha! Pure Ninjajazz!

[NinJazz]

? haha! Pure Doubble Dutch, argh this is unfair, ninjas may not insult girls :p

[Sun Fun Dude]

Wait Bush sent some red guys to kill a Blue Guy? I Don't understand!

[NinJazz]

you don't need to :p... that's why I should do more parts where the blue guy remembers the past so you all would get to trail understand what happens, this kind of stories in Finland most took much readers

[Doubble Dutch]

And now my webcomic is up. Doubble-san vs Ninjajazz! (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v499/Nevad/comic.gif) How will it end?

[NinJazz]

Batty Buddy's girlfriend????? I want you, not any crappy Batty Buddy's girlfriend (this is insulting in inverse theory ;))

[NinJazz]

make it again, I fight with Batty Buddy's gf and then in end I say I go out with you

[DoubleGJ]

...
Ninjajazz, you talk a bit too much. And I guess you don't know the mighty of the wonderful "edit" button.

[NinJazz]

I know it, but anyway

[Radium]

DD, it's really kind of uncalled for to constantly try to take over the poster's thread with your own stuff.

[Doubble Dutch]

Good point.

However, given the hack job that 'comic' is I don't expect it to take over anything.

Hey Ninjajazz, you want the Ninjajazz sprite sheet? Then you too can make cruddy sprite comics too.

[Violet CLM]

Doubble Dutch and Ninjajazz have had a long standing rivalry since one or the other of them joined the JCF, a rivalry which is dramatically mixed with the angst of unwanted affection, and which has recently come to a head (after DD's failed attempt to make herself superior by being elected President of the JCF) with a DUEL OF COMICS. Unfortunately, neither of the comics are all that incredible, so I'd say it's a safe bet that Pinglag wins. Let's take a look at the more recent of the comics, the one which is trying to take over Ninjajazz's thread and FAILING MISERABLY.

COMIC NAME:
"Doubble Dutch-Chan vs. Ninjajazz-San-Chun-Kun" or something like that.
COMICS DONE DURING REVIEW:
1 (hopefully a oneshot).
PLOT:
The plot seems to be that Ninjajazz is a Ninja, and that Doubble Dutch is a bad ninja. Dutch presents an unusual spin on the old godmoding story by making both characters godmoders, having her own character be the bad guy, and even losing. This does not make up for the fact that the plot is really rather threadbare. Two characters, with no more character development then "I'm an evil slave of Bush", "Ninja Master" and "I'm Ninja!" fighting is not all that interesting. The Deus Ex Machina appearance of Batty Buddy's Girlfriend adds little to the storyline, especially as the righteous mind of Ninjajazz seems to be forgetting about Dutch's evil master, the anonymous "Bush". All in all, a weak effort at a plot, introducing more elements than it ends up taking care of.
SPRITES:
The sprites for the comic are not actually all that bad, though I end up not being sure which gender Dutch is, and assuming both. My main quibbles are Ninjajazz seeming to have so many more poses than Dutch, and Dutch's bizarre light attacks - for some unknown reason, they come in two different colors, and I'm not really sure what they're created by. Dutch holds no sword or lightsaber, light trails (and later DBZ Powers) just appear out of his or her hand. A final blow against logic comes when Ninjajazz's final attack is also red, confusing it with Dutch's earlier red things. All in all, while the characters themselves don't look too bad, the special effects seem somewhat illogical, and it can be hard to figure out what's going on in a few panels.
BACKGROUND:
There is no background. The historic fight between the two angsty rivals is presented in an empty white space, without scenery of any kind. With no work being spent on the background, why should readers care about the story itself? One look at the white space is enough to depress anyone.
HUMOR:
Doubble Dutch has a strange sense of humor which sometimes works and sometimes gets people mad at her. One can only assume that the comic itself is some sort of joke, intended to put a ridiculous spin on the battle it so loosely portrays. Otherwise, jokes are a little thin - seeing the word "Ninja" in every other panel is only funny for so long, especially when it seems to actually mean "Perfect in every way". The appearance of Batty Buddy's Girlfriend, however, is amusing, though only if you are intimately familiar with the signature scene, which is currently ranked somewhat below the actual post scene.
TEXT:
One of the worst parts of this comic is the text. Both characters use plain black text on the white background, with no boxes, balloons, lines or any other means of indicating which character is speaking, or indeed whether the text is meant to be speaking at all. The text could for all I know be part of the background, which is not as purely white as I first thought, and is constantly changing. My dilemma is made worse by the faces of the characters, who rarely open their mouths when talking. Tut.
OVERALL:
This comic is mainly focused on humor, but even that humor relies on the idea that the comic is a joke, which can not be taken for granted. In summary, Doubble Dutch should not have attempted to take over Ninjajazz's comic thread before it could even get started, and should have simply pressured Radium to make Pinglag. Pinglag would beat both these Ninjas in a fight any day.

[NinJazz]

I don't want have her as rival

[Fawriel]

...erm, what?

Oh yeah. Uhm. Go Pinglag!

[NinJazz]

cool, who is Pinglag?

[Risp_old]

A character of Radium. In his comic that he started, made like three comics for, then forgot. Then was about to start again and forgot again. So on and so forth.

[NinJazz]

aha, so Pinglag rules!

[Radium]

aha, so Pinglag rules!
YES

[Doubble Dutch]

Indeed, never has such a shortlived character inspired so many to do so little.

Pinglag will live on unto the death knell of JCF.

[NinJazz]

ooh, my love DD 8D

[cooba]

ooh, my love DD 8D>||||

Go make an update. This looks promising.

[NinJazz]

muahahaha, what do you then think it should look?

[cooba]

Even more promising.

[NinJazz]

8D what's wrong if I LOVE her ? 8D

[Doubble Dutch]

Its probably just another symptom of your emerging insanity, but what the hell.

*returs love*

[NinJazz]

nope, it isn't my insanity, just love 8D (When I was new here somebody told me that there is no humour in the Comedy Cafe and that guy was right, the fun is HIER!!!!)

[Fawriel]

Awwww!
<s>Hands off! She's mine!</s>

[NinJazz]

lol... we will see that ;)

[cooba]

<s>Hands off! She's mine!</s>That's what I was going to say except without strike tags. ;p

*gives claimed page to DD*

[NinJazz]

lol, do ya everyone like DD 8D?

[DoubleGJ]

I love everybody. I love the world. The thing I don't love is the annoying form of stupidity.

[NinJazz]

can we be at the topic ???????????

[cooba]

Says the man who often goes offtopic. ;p

[NinJazz]

lolz, yes I do, he is copyin' me now 8D

[Doubble Dutch]

Slowly the Ninjajazz virus spreads, incubating in one host after another, infection slowly setting in...

[NinJazz]

yeah... and worst is there is no Anti-Virus program

[Nitro]

Simple, stupid, but I like them, this rocks heh.

Derby: Flame tag removal. The connotation of the content was interpreted differently, although it was the way you intended.

[cooba]

this rocks heh.
++reporting flametags

Derby: Previous quotation edit.

[Doubble Dutch]

flametags? But its so true, I've never known him to ever be in (such) a mood.

Derby: Context/Content removal/replacement. This was done to be consistent with the previous two posts.

[NinJazz]

if I am gay why should I like then DD 8D??????

And Michael you are sickest person I have ever seen.

[Doubble Dutch]

He's so sick he has to wipe his feet befor he goes outside, he made Ozzy Ozbourne throw up, he says gract to satan!

[Derby]

Get back on topic.

[NinJazz]

ok, we get back 8D