...today, he was being interviewed for promotion in Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. If all went well, he would get to think up new products to sell, such as Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. brand Happy Puppy Pickle Ink, which was green, and a horrible pun.
He went over his answers in his head again. No, he didn't smoke, unless shot with a huge gun. Yes, his language was clean, or if it wasn't, his (Derby: Content edit) cleaning lady was in trouble. No, the artic wasn't their main sales area. Yes, they sold pickles.
Suddenly, two figures jumped out of a bush in front of him, and hastily laid a trip-wire down in the path, which Ancoysnd managed to properly trip over. Before he could finish scolding himself for his own stupidity, he was firmly tied up with gum.
Gum?
That was it! Happy Puppy Pickle flavored gum. No artificial preservatives.. Ancoysnd pondered gum marketing as he was clumsily dragged off someplace.

The new arrival went flying back into a table, which was not bolted down, and thus tipped over. While the faceless one laid there, dazed, the 'Taverners could get a good look at the front of his head. As they had first surmised, he, she, or it had indeed no face.
"All right, buddy, what's your gender?" snapped Hesheit, who wanted a monopoly on that sort of thing.
"Male..." said a feeble, disembodied voice. Which made sense, as there was no mouth for it to come from. "I am 'Faceless' Jim Bobo, and I'm your new agent."
"Agent?!" was gasped collectively from the 'Taverners, other then Derald, who still had no idea what was going on.
"Yes.. the old one quit."
"Old one?!" was repeated loudly, and then Ducky asked "Since when did we have an agent, even a quit one?"
"You see.." said 'Faceless', "the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be decided that you lot were a prime source of commercialism. I, myself, use Cute GenEX brand mouthwash, free flower with each bottle. So an agent, the nature of which I can not reveal at this time, was appointed to maintain your best interests. You may recall the movie you people made. The idea for it was implanted in your heads by said agent, and thus wasn't as original as you first thought.
"Now, the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be thought that about the only thing you weren't doing in the merchandise field was book deals. You may recall you've been having more adventures lately then usual."
"Yes..." growled Tyf, annoyed. "What gives you people the right to make us do things like this?"
"Because you are merely mortal, and are the natural semi-slaves of the higher beings." said 'Faceless', calmly, as if it was nothing unusual.
"Anyway, the old agent quit after Kovu turned evil again, saying it wasn't true to the characters. There then ran some agentless plot, which as you may have noticed contained a hefty deal of copyright infringement and forum related stuff. GenEX was even removed after a un-agented viewer's poll! So I was appointed. Yes, I, 'Faceless' Jim Bobo!
"Now, you can imagine, I hope, my shock and surprise when the powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be told me that all War Tavern merchandise, books, movies, etc, were off. I naturally asked why, as this put me out of a job. It seems that for a long time now, the powers have been using non-magical methods to keep Deraldsny, there, away. Due to a genetic error, Derald contains an odd mutation that makes anything done by the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be rebound upon themselves. For example, if they tried to make Derald turn into a chicken, they would turn into one.
"Recently, their defense was breached when the Giant Sponge like thing was defeated by you 'Taverners, allowing Derald to get through to the 'Tavern, where he is now. Thus, the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be, have collectively said 'Let's call the whole thing off.'
"Obviously, I'm not happy about this, as there's few job oppurtunities for unscrupulous agents with no face. So I came here to ask you to help me storm the lands of the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be, to make them relinquish their relinquishment and make you all mindless slaves of commercialism again. What do you say, are you with me? With Derald, there, nothing they can do will effect you!"
The 'Taverners stared incredulously at either him or Derald, neither of whom seemed to notice their incredulous stares.