For those of you who haven't heard of Zork (any number), it's one of the games made by Infocom, which were these text adventures where you'd type in something and something would happen, instead of just using text for chat like we do nowadays..
Anyway, having not actually PLAYED said games, the only thing I have to work off of here is Other parodies of it, so please don't complain if something is rather unlike the real thing.
This is meant to be updated daily (though it may bog down after a while), and is likely to have no real plot, other then Spaz going around doing various things.
Note: Fans of Spaz may be moderately offended at occasional refrences to Spaz's brain and related parts. Blame the non capslock text (the parser).



SPAZQUEST
Recognizable place.
You are in a bed. Literally. You have somehow gotten yourself into the matress.

>EAT MATRESS
You're not hungry yet.

>LEAVE MATRESS
You see no opening.

>LOOK FOR OPENING
Your eyes are closed.

>OPEN EYE
Which eye, the left or the right one?

>BOTH
Your eyes are opened. There are openings all around you. In the fact, the matress is torn to shreds.

>TEAR MATRESS
The matress is already torn.

>LEAVE MATRESS
Which tear do you want to leave through?

>WHO CARES?
Not me.
You are standing in the middle of a large bedroom. A doorway goes through one of the walls, a torn matress lays on the floor next to you, and there is another bed nearby. Regular breathing emits from the bed.

>GO DOORWAY
The doorway didn't do anything worth praise.

>GO THROUGH DOORWAY
You crash into the door that I neglected to mention.

>GO THROUGH DOOR
You crash into the door, and this time you have no excuse.

>OPEN DOOR
You grab the convinient doorknob and spin it around furiously until the door opens.

>GO THROUGH DOORWAY
You are standing in front of an open door in the middle of a long hallway with lots more such doors in the walls.

>WHY?
Because you left the bedroom.

>GO HALLWAY
Rah, rah, rah.

>MOVE THROUGH HALLWAY
Which direction, left or right?

>LEFT
Right.

>NO, LEFT
Left, right.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>TURN LEFT, MOVE THROUGH HALLWAY
You are still in the hallway. Somewhere in the distance you see another hallway, parallel to this one.

>GO TO HALLWAY
Which hallway, the one you're in or the other one?

>THE OTHER HALLWAY
You walk along the hallway. In the distance you see the other hallway, though not so far off.

>GO TO OTHER HALLWAY
You continue walking for some time but eventually collapse from exhaustion right before reaching the other hallway.

>COLLAPSE
You already did.

>LOOK
Look at what?

>EVERYTHING
You attempt to view the entire universe in all its glory through your eyes, but faint from the effort.
Everything goes black.

>WHY?
You are no longer conscious.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>LIE STILL
You lie perfectly still. Having been unconscious such a great part of your life, you are an expert at controlling yourself while unconscious. You relax your muscles, your heart stops beating, you are no longer breathing..
Suddenly, you jolt upright, taking deep breaths. Don't try that again.

>LIE STILL
No.

>LIE STILL
That's really not a good idea.

>WHY?
Do you want to die? I don't think so.

>LOOK AROUND
You are laying face-first in the middle of a hallway. Many rabbits are gathered around you, talking.

>RABBITS?
Yes.

>SAVE
Game saved.

>EAT RABBITS
You jump up from the floor and leap at the nearest rabbit, looking as fierce as you possibly can. A rabbit from behind you raises a gun and fires, causing you to drop.
You are not dead, but your life is ebbing. You should do something fast.

>LIE STILL
Are you serious?

>YES
You are dead.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
Game restored.

>GET UP FROM FLOOR
You stand up wearily. The rabbits slowly start to walk away, no longer interested, until only three of them are left.

>LOOK AT RABBITS
Which rabbits, the ones who are left or the ones who left?

>THE ONES WHO ARE LEFT
One is blue, one is green, and the third is yellow. The green one is carrying a gun and cradling it protectively.

>SEARCH MEMORY
Their names are Eva, Jazz, and Lori. Your sister in law, brother, and sister, respectively.

>JAZZ, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
"Not sure. We found you lying here, unconscious."

>JAZZ, WHY WAS I UNCONSCIOUS?
"Well, we consulted the security cameras which are focused around here and it appears you left your room, walked over here, and fell down unconscious."

>JAZZ, WHO AM I?
"Spaz, of course. Come on, we're late for breakfast."

>EAT BREAKFAST
You should go to the breakfast first.

>GO BREAKFAST
I agree. Breakfast rules.

>GO TO THE BREAKFAST
You take off in a mad run, surprising your immediate family members. After crashing into 7 walls, 2 doorways and 1.6 ceilings, you find yourself in the breakfast room.
Lots of rabbits are here.

>THE DINING ROOM?
No, the breakfast room.

>EAT BREAKFAST
Which breakfast do you mean, the one in front of your chair, or the breakfast the other rabbits are eating?

>MINE
You might want to sit down first.

>SIT DOWN
You sit down on the floor and start sucking your thumb.

>GET UP, SIT ON MY CHAIR
You do as you instructed.

>SAVE
Game sucessfully saved.

>EAT BREAKFAST IN FRONT OF ME
Emitting a scream of hunger, you open your mouth wide, pick up the plate, and pour all the contents between your teeth.

>BEAT CHEST
You beat your chest, until you hit yourself in just the wrong place and fall over, once more unconscious.

>WHO AM I?
You are Spaz. Your favorite color is imaginary. Your quest is to do whatever seems right at the time.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
(Nothing)
You also have an electric blue toothbrush attached to your head by means I won't even go into.

>LOOK AT TOOTHBRUSH
You seem to forget you are unconscious.

>DREAM OF TOOTHBRUSH
Suddenly, you are in a magical fairy land. An electric blue toothbrush dressed like a princess attaches itself to your paw and hyperventilates sweet poetry.

>WAKE UP FAST
You come to. You are sprawled across a chair in the breakfast room. You are the sole occupant of the room, in fact.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>PICK UP CHAIR
You might want to get out of it first.

>GET OUT OF CHAIR, PICK UP CHAIR
You are now holding a large chair.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
A large chair

>WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TOOTHBRUSH?
It turned into a princess, remember?

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>PICK UP ANOTHER CHAIR
Due to your great strength and flexibility, you pick up another chair and balance it on your nose.

>HIT CHAIR WITH CHAIR
Which chair do you mean, the nose chair or the other chair?

>WHO CARES?
Not me.
You bang the chairs together happily, until they splinter to bits and go to the big lumber mill in the sky.

>LEAVE
Leave where/what?

>LEAVE BREAKFAST ROOM
You exit through a random door and find yourself standing on a diving board overlooking a large pool. The pool must be at least twenty tiles deep.
Various swimmers are here.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>IGNORE SWIMMERS
You ignore the swimmers.

>SAVE
Game unsucessfully saved.
Just kidding.

>JUMP IN POOL
You hurl yourself headlong off the diving board, preform three cartwheels in mid air, then hit the pool with a satisfying splash.

>BEAT CHEST
You beat your chest, and begin to sink into the pool. You neglected to take a deep breath first, as well.

>SWIM
There you go! You begin swimming, and have a marvelous time.

>GET OUT
I thought you liked me!

>GET OUT OF POOL
You climb out of the pool, dripping water all over the place.

>EXIT
Exit the game, or the pool room?

>POOL ROOM
You leave the pool room through a door, and find yourself in a great hall. At least, that's what the large neon sign above you claims.

>TAKE LARGE NEON SIGN
It's too high up.

>DOUBLE JUMP, TAKE LARGE NEON SIGN
You grab the sign, but despite your pulling, you merely hang from it instead of pulling it from the wall.

>HANG
As in hang from the sign?

>SAVE
Game saved.
As in hang from the sign?

>YES
Ok.
You continue hanging from the sign, until your mediocre weight finally causes it to come loose from the wall. You both fall rapidly towards the ground, you landing first.
You are dead.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
As in hang from the sign?

>NEVER MIND, JUMP OFF OF SIGN
You land expertly on the floor.

>SAVE GAME, EXIT
Tasks preformed. Bye!




(Edit: Me dumb. Zork, not Zorg)