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Violet CLM · Jun 5, 2001, 04:57 PM

Very good, but if I may make one suggestion?

You have two different parts of the story like this:

One part.

Another part.

The first part.

Etc...

Try it like this:

One part.

Another part.

The first part.

Etc...

Or something like that. Less confusing, you know?

Violet CLM JCF Éminence Grise Joined: Mar 2001 Posts: 11,090 Jun 5, 2001, 04:57 PM #27
Very good, but if I may make one suggestion? You have two different parts of the story like this: One part. Another part. The first part. Etc... Try it like this: One part. Another part. The first part. Etc... Or something like that. Less confusing, you know?