BAH HA HA HA!



You earthling FOOLS!



It is I, EMIZEMAR THE TELKEON SLUG! BAH HA HA HA! I have come to invade your PUNY planet.



Who am I, you ask?



Well, I am a slug. A green, alien slug known to the common classification of telkeonia; a physical class that can squish and deform easily into different shapes, and is always green. You may remember me from the J2S polls. You may not. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that your planet will be blown up in the next few years!



Also, most importantly, and the utmost reason I am replying to this utterly strange topic; is that I was sent by Monolith. That's right! Monolith OWNS a galactic federation. If you don't believe me, tough, because our alien level of intelligence matches up to being smart enough not to lie. Oh, but you're so suspicious, are you not? HA HAH HAH! Why am I speaking in English, you ask? Simple. The Battle Server. While Monolith was busy hosting the Battle Server, he was watching ALL THE TIME on the figures and characteristics of human, English speech. While putting them together with an ultra-SUPERIOR mind, our master taught all of us English. And we know it even better than the person who INVENTED ENGLISH! HAAAHAAHAHAHAAHAAHA!



So, as a quick warning, your planet is scheduled for desctruction on the date of May 4, 2004. Check back later for details. Oh, and BWA HA HA HA HA!



You can't hide. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE. You are all DOOMED. ETERNALLY DOOMED! AAAAAAAAHAAHH! Oh, and did I mention... BWA HA HA HA HA?



- Sir Emizemar the Telkeon Slug IV of the Monolith Galactic Empire