I noticed in the story that it changes from past to present tense a lot. And I don't really understand, how can Xion's sensors pick up the gems if he just randomly decides to start this quest one day? If he can just say "find me the gem", what stops him from saying "find me the holy grail" or "find me a job".
Besides that it's good. 154 pieces... please don't make it one per chapter....
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GENERATION 22: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
<i>"This picture shows me that the gray bird man is just a bully and picks on smaller birds. Just because he has no friends and takes it out on others smaller than him to look good. I can see in the parrats eyes that it does however have a understanding of the gray bird man and is upset about getting cut."</i> - Speeza on cartoon birds.
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