This post was sent to me via PM by GenEX, who is banned from the board and thus unable to post it himself:

"Oh geez, that was just stupid. A cardboard standup? What's it doing in there anyway?" GenEX asked the vaultkeeper.
"It was supposed to be used for an April Fools Day joke. But we forgot to get it out. So sorry about that, sir." Replied the vaultkeeper.
"Well, next time, try something funny and not scary. Or I may end up destroying everything in a 30 mile radius accidently." And with that, GenEX left the storage house. Even though there was no actual house. Which is why he ended up back in the War Tavern, due to the sheer unreality of the situation.
"This old place.. I haven't been here in a while. Although I was just here a few hours ago. Something tells me both statements are true. Freaky..." GenEX thought. Apparently a lot had happened.
Checking the Tavern's computer, he found out that it had been completely messed up with really pathetic programs and too many really lame Jazz Jackrabbit levels and tilesets. He wondered if one of his alter egos was responsible, and recalled all of them back to his body. In the next room, there was a poster on the wall that had a lot of ugly scribbles on it and fancy text. Somebody really needed art lessons. It said:
F-ZERO TYPE OF RACE WITH WEAPONS AND STUFF. BUILD A CAR, ENTER, AND WIN SOMETHING.
GenEX guessed that things were obviously getting rather boring around here without him and the omnipotent behemoths that constantly attempted to kill him. But, due to lack of pretty much anything else to do, GenEX went to work on an F-Zero car.
Meanwhile, BOB_ALLEN filled up the hard drive with more useless junk. How he got in there is unknown.

(Ultra-special time that is not mentioned)

GenEX was currently designing his vehicle for the race, unaware of what the other taverners were doing. He was trying to set some limits to how much stuff his futuristic car would have, otherwise it'd be very much unfair. GenEX finally decided on what it would be equipped with and began the paint job. A rusty vinegar cow suddenly appeared out of nowhere and landed outside the room where he was working. His car was quite a piece of work. It had a fairly efficient engine that could exceed the maximum velocity of the Blue Falcon, an ion cannon and energy flail as weaponry, could ram other vehicles with taking too much damage, and was a very sleek and shiny red color.
Then he heard some PC Speaker-like sounds coming from nearby. Hurrying in to see what was going on, GenEX found himself in the middle of a fight between the Taverners and a bunch of turtles. The taverners lacked a decent sound card and were making the noises.
"Arg, I despise that sound system! Begone!" And with the snap of his fingers, the sound restrictions disappeared from the tavern. Not too far away, the rusty vinegar cow started weird sounds .
"OH MY GOSHISH! ISSA BIG FIGHETY!" exclaimed Foo. But acid, electric, and phish didn't need him to tell them that. The last time they checked, their eyes were working normally. "Time to bust some turtle heads..." said Acid in a Terminatorish voice. Foo, being the foo that he is, got a hammer and started breaking the heads of the dead turtles, during which he began to collect the "SILLAY PUTTYEY" he found inside. The battle raged on, and other stuff happened not mentioned here.
{/GenEX}