"Stupid, stupid, stupid, more stupid, dumb...", Spaztic muttered to himself as he routinely clicked through the TV channels. Mud wrestling, Martha Stewart, horrible rap videos, it was all the same. He looked down at his filthy shirt and sighed. Taking one last swig from his Sobe, he thrust the footrest down into the recliner and hopped up.

It must have been at least 1 am. He somehow managed to maneuver his way towards the window that looked out onto the street, dodging piles of clothes and molding food. Drawing the curtains away and opening the window, he took a deep breathe and looked up at the barely visible moon. "I need to get out of this stupid apartment," he sighed, when suddenly a noise from below on the street caught his attention.

"Sup cracka," he heard, "we needs yo cash man." Suddenly Spaztic's became fearsomely alert. A mugging? And by whom? It didn't matter, because that would be too inconvenient towards the thin plot. All Spaztic knew is that he felt the urge to investigate. He quickly threw on some shoes and a clean shirt and raced downstairs and out onto the street.

When he came out he saw a young black man lying on the ground breathing sporatically and a police officer yammering on his radio. "What happened?" he asked curiously, not really expecting an answer.

"This man was assaulted, and the perpatrator is running away", the officer answered quickly.

"Do you know who he is?"

"Well he left his wallet right here," the officer said. What a dumb pig, telling things like that to a total stranger. A sudden madness possessed Spaztic who suddenly ran towards the officer, jumped, and kicked him across the face. The officer slammed onto the ground, his face a bloody pulp. Spaztic looked around, grabbed the wallet, and ran to a safe place. When he arrived he opened up the contents, finding various credit cards, $40 in cash, a couple condoms, and a drivers license. He took out the license and studied the picture. "Slayo," he said. "Interesting name. No doubt you'll be returning for your wallet. I'll keep a close watch for you."

But just at that moment something snuck up behind him rather conveniently, and smacked him over the head, rendering him unconcious. Oh no. ;(