The very next day, all of Carrotus was alive with excitement as the hour of their beloved princess' marriage grew ever closer. Even the usually disreputable War Tavern was decorated in pastel colors, and the sign over the door had received a new coat of paint for the first time anyone could remember. Inside, a slightly underage rabbit was having an argument with the bartender. The rabbit's position was that he had every right to celebrate the upcoming marriage in any fashion he should choose, while the bartender had no wish to be convicted. Eventually, the bartender won, and the rabbit found himself out upon the streets of Hopteego Village, Carrotus.
The rabbit in question happened to be named Spaz Jackrabbit, the brother of the great hero Jazz Jackrabbit. Spaz had come to Carrotus shortly after first learning of his brother's royal success, and had reluctantly been welcomed at the castle into the role of "Future Prince-in-law". Unfortunately, Spaz had no idea whatsoever what that meant.
This was, primarily, because Spaz had an apparently incurable case of habitual insanity. In obvious contrast to the cool, well-trained attitude of his green brother, Spaz could not sit still for more than a second, and was prone to violent bursts of movement in no apparent main direction. Spaz had enormous eyes, which served well to distract you from the fact he was often drooling, and his few vestiges of clothing consisted of two blue boots and a pair of armbands. His wild, ignorant nature ruined him for a life of work at an early age, and he had thus earned the nickname of "Slackrabbit". One of Spaz's few redeeming traits was the enormous, natural love he felt for all of his family and friends - a trait which alone allowed Eva to prevent her mother from banishing the red rabbit outright.
Now, while casually lying on his back outside of the War Tavern door, Spaz caught sight of a small dog. He instantly bounded over towards the animal, eagerly requesting as he went the time of day. The dog panted once, twice, thrice, four times.
"Six'o'clock? Oh no! I'm going to be late!" Spaz chortled, falling flat upon his face, picking himself up, and dashing off to Carrotus Castle at breakneck speeds. The guards barely had time to open the front door before Spaz shot inside, up two flights of stairs, through a door, down a hole in the floor, around a random pillar six times, up another flight of stairs, across a long hallway, and straight into his brother.
"Spaz?" asked Jazz shakily, picking himself up for the floor. "Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for the wedding?"
"Aren't you married?" asked Spaz dreamily to a point three feet to the right of Jazz's head.
"No... that's not for an hour. Look at you! You're not even wearing any pants!"
Spaz shrugged helplessly, and burped.
"And look what you did to my new coat! Dust all over it! Oh, Spaz..."
At about this point, the words 'getting ready for the wedding' penetrated into Spaz's brain. "Ok, bro! Tell me what I gotta do and I'll try not to forget it!"
"Uhh. Well, you're the best man, so I suppose you ought to have the ring ready..."
Spaz's eyes widened. Ring. He had seen the ring. It was enormous. And he knew exactly where it was.

Reggie snuck quietly into the bedroom of Prince Jazz. It was right there in front of him - the Diamondus Gem, resplendent in its enormous glory. Easily bigger than Reggie's head - and yet, surprisingly light, as the yellow lizard found out upon lifting it. This was going to be an incredibly easy robbery. And then the rabbit walked in.
"Hey, that's Jazz's ring." said the rabbit, blinking at the darkness of the room around him. "Give it to us."
Reggie gulped. Us? He had not bargained for any resistance at all, let alone a whole party of Galactic Rabbits. The lizard had left behind his only weapon, a box of bombs, before entering the castle, and was woefully unarmed. There was no sense in sacrificing himself if it could be avoided.
"Sure. Here you go." Reggie handed the ring to the rabbit, who took it and ran off wildly. 'Devan Shell will kill me,' thought Reggie, 'unless I think of another way to get that gem.'

***

Jazz started in wonderment at this vision of beauty before him. Sure, Eva was pretty enough in her ordinary pink dress, but this was incredible. The rabbit princess was clothed in a delicate, lacy white outfit, opening in a V at the back and doing a good job of outlining her hourglass body. In addition to her customary gold rings, Eva wore two lacy armbands near the shoulder, and her customary golden tiara had been replaced with a glittering white veil. Every vestige of her light blue fur had been brushed flat, as if she had been drawn by a lazy artist. It was a truly beautiful image.
The priest's voice rang out once more, startling Jazz out of his trance. "Be assured that if any persons are joined together otherwise than as God's word allows, their marriage is not lawful."
Jazz and Eva looked at each other. As had been the case when the priest called out to all those watching, neither had any objections. The ceremony continued, addressing the bridge before the groom, as was the custom on Carrotus.
"Do you, Eva Earlong, take Jazz Jackrabbit to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do." said Eva, smiling at Jazz. Jazz almost went back into his trance, but pulled himself out of it quickly before the priest could even speak again. "And you betcha I'll take her, Padre! I do! I do! I do!"
The priest smiled softly, as Spaz cried at high intensity in the background. There was no doubt in either of their minds that this union would work out well.
"Ahem..." began the priest, and everyone looked at him. "Well then! I guess all there's left for me is to say that you may now... kiss the bride?!"
The room went completely silent as the two rabbits kissed. And kissed. They would probably have gone on for much longer, had not Jazz been distracted by hearing Spaz's anxious declaration of "Oh, no! I lost the ring! Where is it?!"

Reggie stood worriedly outside Carrotus Castle, his mind replaying his earlier discussion with Devan.
"Help make history with you? Sure thing boss!" he had said, milking the "stupid lizard" look for all it was worth. In case he ever needed to betray Devan, it was best that the turtle assumed him to be an utter moron.
Devan had then outlined why he wanted the Diamondus Gem that was inside of Carrotus Castle, why it was utterly important that he had the gem TONIGHT (apparently the installation of power gems only worked about once a year, due to some solar synchronization thing Reggie had not learned in lizard school), how it didn't matter if he killed anyone, and how important it was not to be followed.
Well, it was too late to worry about that last one. The sun was already fading behind the trees, so it was now or never. The rabbits would simply have to know Reggie was there.




"Slackrabbit" was Spaz's original name before he was made into Jazz's brother. "Reggie" is an edit of "Reggae", in keeping with Jazz and Hip-Hop. You all know where the War Tavern comes from. Hopteego Village is from JJ3.