The ballad of Doubble Dutch.

You could hear her keyboard pound as she posted spam around,
And the clicking of her mouse as she gave each thread a look around.
And she entered the JCF with a Jazz T-shirt apon her chest,
Her name was Doubble Dutch, she was the fastest spammer in the west.

Now Doubble loved a forum, The War Tavern by name,
She loved to read the stories and wanted to post the same.
They she it was too good for her, it was too well read and chic,
But she managed to spam about three times every week.

They called her Doubble Dutch, she was fastest spammer in the west.

She said one day she'd post a story written from the heart,
But all her chapters sucked and her plotlines fell apart.
Still she enjoyed the forums and kept up her spamming speed,
Of useless junk that other members never had a need.

They called her Doubble Dutch, she was fastest spammer in the west.

Now Doubble had a rival, an evil looking man,
Called !Tman of JCF and spamming was his plan.
He spammed the board with wisecracks, and brought things to a head,
Cause brilliant and witty posts were all he ever said.

They swooned at his comparisons, his timing was just right,
He posted wit in the early morning and sarcasam late at night.
He knew with a single post that he could have his wicked way,
And all Doubble had to offer was a measley post a day.

They called her Doubble Dutch, she was fastest spammer in the west.

One day !Tman saw her at the Taverns door,
It drove him mad to find she was still there at half past four.
And as he lept into the thread, hot blood through his veins did course,
And he went and spammed her email, without a single bit of remorse.

They called her Doubble Dutch, she was fastest spammer in the west.

Now Doubble rushed to face him, an optical mouse in hand,
And he said 'Why don't you stop lurking and fight me like a man?'
'And I don't care if your a girl.' he sneeringly replied.
'A post to the death for this forum! A battle shall decide!'

Now Doubble dragged him from his thread, they stood there face to face,
And !Tman reached for his mouse to post her in her place.
But Doubble was too quick, things didn't go they way he'd planned,
And a stream of nonsensical gibberish knocked it from his hand.

Now Batty Buddy ran between them and tried to keep them apart,
Doubble pushed him aside and was spammed right in the heart.
And she looked up in pained surprise and another posting gust,
of venomus spite hit her right and Doubble bit the dust.

They called her Doubble Dutch, she was fastest spammer in the west.

Doubble was only 14, she didn't want to die,
But now shes spamming angels in that forum in the sky.
Where Jazz 3 is reality and administrators are banned,
A spammers life is full of fun in that wond'rus posting land.

But a forums needs are many fold, and so on posted !Tman,
But he always had an error whenever spamming posts began,
Was that a sever error, so his posts they didn't save?
Or Doubbles ghostly messages, a posting from the grave?

They called her Doubble Dutch, she was fastest spammer in the west.