The big chance did not come for quite a while, until 2705, when the rabbit princess Eva Earlong attended a dinner and ball on the nearby planet of Slugion. I broke in sometime during the festivities, accompanied by my most trusted Schwarzenguard, Tuf, and quickly captured the rabbit in front of everyone, even taking a few moments to pose for the TV cameras. It was a truly glorious moment, and I shot at a few guests before the three of us made our departure. When we reached home base on planet Medivo, I gave the signal, and my agents around the galaxy began launching attacks on whatever authority there was to be found, until within no time at all, about three quarters of the known galaxy was in my grasp. "What do you want from me?" demanded the princess, when I swept in to inform her of my conquests.
"You are merely a worthless pawn in my plan," I responded, smiling happily. "With their beloved princess in my clutches, the rabbits will surrender to me, and I will become king!" King. Even saying the word felt glorious - ruling above the rabbits, even ruling Carrotus, finally no longer forced to bow down before their stupid furry faces every day of every year of my life. "What do you have against rabbits?" she asked, allowing me to vent my frustration for the first time I could remember. I hardly knew where to begin with their condemnations.
"Their disgusting, vile attitudes!" I growled, and then, realizing that would mean nothing to her, brought in the main reason for my enlightenment. "Like the one in "The Tortoise and the Hare". What evil, maniacal creatures you all are!"
To emphasize the point, I included some maniacal laughter of my own, but the rabbit princess was no longer listening, instead choosing to make some snide remark about the "White Album" indicating she had understood nothing of what I had just said. Typical, really.
It was in this state of happiness and self-fulfillment that the news which I had alternatively hoped for and dreaded arrived. The Galactic Rabbits had decided not to play ball by surrendering Carrotus and their claim to the galaxy - instead, they were sending one rabbit against me, a small, green, naked affair named Jazz Jackrabbit. I had heard of Jazz once or twice before, usually in connection with some deed of "heroism" or other, though he never seemed to get involved with my acts of "terrorism". We met a few days later on the planet Diamondus, where my turtle goons were harvesting gems from the soil, and which Jazz was determined to reclaim for the Galactic Rabbits. A sensible exchange of words was attempted, but the green fool went off into some random sentiment about his mother, and clouds, and blackberries, until I lost interest and shot his handhold to dust. He survived the fall, of course, and so began our battle for the galaxy.
This battle lasted for what seemed an eternity, and it was in 2706 when I found that the rabbit had infiltrated the Turtle-Gunner Destroyers I had been building to destroy Carrotus. One of my masterpieces had already been destroyed by this one animal. Obviously there was a reason, after all, why rabbits had become the dominant species of the galaxy - they were simply so skilled in the military ways. I do not know what would have happened if Carrotus was a democracy when they gained space travel, but their militant behavior certainly paid off in the galaxy I know of.
None of my turtle troops - not even the enormously powerful Schwarzenguards, or the armored Armor-Doofi - seemed to work against the small, gun carrying furball. The only solution, as it seemed to me, was to build a better rabbit... bigger, stronger, faster, tougher, and working for me. I could build it. I had the technology. When Jazz returned from the second Turtle-Gunner Destroyer, looking for the Earlong girl, I had my enormous Rabbit Robot ready and waiting for him. And yet, with blaster in hand and courage in his eyes, he defeated even that - the memory of my goliath lying broken upon the ground still pains me to this day. The Rabbit Robot and the Battleships had all fallen, my mightiest weapons, and with them, my very dream itself. What was the use? Turtles could never be superior to rabbits when the rabbits were all like Jazz. Tired, dejected, I escaped before he could find me, and returned home to the small apartment wherein I had originally found The Book.
The apartment, however, was not as empty as I had left it a few years before. Reclined on the bed, waiting for me, was my younger sister, Dolores... though she always insisted upon being called Dell. Logically enough, Dell had heard of my actions, and typically, had come to aid me whether I wanted it or not. I was ready and willing to retire, to give up my dreams of conquest and galactic union, but Dell's energy had only just begun. We talked of rabbits, and turtles, and guns, and many other things, and by the time Dell was ready to go home, my anger and purpose had been rekindled. I kidnapped Eva once more, this time right from under Jazz's nose, in disguise as a Galactic Taxi driver, and went with her and Tuf to Decksta, a space station I had previously constructed and forgotten about.
And yet, after re-conquering several other planets, Jazz came to Decksta, and destroyed it. Enraged, I deported Eva to Holidaius, and retreated to the planet Lagunicus for my final showdown with Jazz. It was short and to the point - I was once more utterly defeated. And a few months later, when I crashed Jazz's wedding to Eva, and attempted to rewrite history so he had never been born, I failed again, this time at the hands of both Jazz and his younger brother.
Now here I am, in the deepest, darkest corner of hell itself, buried alive with my time machine under an enormous pile of rocks. I think of how I have led my life. It is true that I have failed, but I failed while fighting for a righteous and logical idea - the idea that all creatures are created Equal, and are thus endowed with certain unalienable rights, among those being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Turtles can never have these rights, can never be Equal, while rabbits continue to rule the galaxy as they have for as long as I can remember.
A sound from overhead breaks my concentration. It is a thin, piercing sound, accompanied by a blast of light and debris. A large opening has been created in the rocks above me. I climb out to meet my rescuer, my sister, once again returned without warning when I needed her most.
The war for freedom is not yet over. But before I can defeat the rabbits, I must first defeat Jazz, and Spaz, and any other random accomplices he can dredge up. And next time, be it through violence, or politics, or subversion, or any other form of warfare, I shall not be operating alone.

~Devan Shell