Que Passa!!!!

Spaz saves the world, all by himself, with nothing but speed, wits, and a large slice of cheesecake part 3:
Taking care of (monkey) business

Dateline: 3:30 p.m.
Location: On a butt kicking spaceship somewhere out in space far from the comforts and familiarities of Carrotus.

"He's dressed kinda like a super hero... HEY- Do you thing he could be replying to our distress message?"
"He ain't no super hero- ya gotta have visible muscles to be a super hero..."
"MAY I HAVE SOME QUIET, PLEASE!!!" yelled the football robot. Turning his attention back to Spaz, he said "Please excuse my sibling units, they tend to disagree a lot. Anyway, I restate my question: Who are you?"
"Well, you see... I, uh, sorta got a distress call, and..." "HAH! TOLD YA! In your video display screen, 2R!" interrupted the boomerang robot. "Not so fast, 2U..." said the basketball robot, identified as 2R. "YOU said he was a SUPER HERO! He has yet to confirm that!"
"Well, actually, I AM kinda a super hero." said Spaz. Ignoring the little victory dance 2U started in response to the information, he added "Maybe you've heard of me- Spaz Jackrabbit... Or at least my siblings; Jazz and Lori Jackrabbit?" "Sorry, haven't heard of any of you guys." Said 2R, trying to remain calm while 2U was dancing the cha-cha right in front of her. "Are they super heroes too?"
Spaz was shocked. He thought that Jazz was universally known as the coolest super hero in the galaxy... And Lori was well known and liked as well. And so, faced with three robots who had no clue as to the Jackrabbit family name, Spaz did what any other red-blooded Carrotusian boy rabbit would have done:
He told a little fib.
"Yah, they're super heroes too, but I've always been regarded as the coolest. In fact, they often rely on my opinions and strategies to handle bad guys. I hate to brag, but, I'd say if it wasn't for ME, my sibs would never have gotten ANYWHERE!"
-OK, so it was a bold-faced lie. Don't act like YOU would have taken the virtuous boy-scout choice of telling the truth if YOU were him.
The top part of the football robot popped open, and a large hand on a telescoping hose snaked out and started shaking Spaz's paw. "Please to meet you, Mr. Spasm. My name is S.O.C.K.E.T. 2M, and this is my brother unit; S.O.C.K.E.T. 2U, and my sister unit; S.O.C.K.E.T. 2R- You remember, the one that accidentally blew you up in the last chapter..." "Geeze- I said I was SORRY!" "Oh, don't worry about it." said Spaz, "I go through THAT a LOT... Oh, and the name's Spaz: S-P-A-Z. And no Mr."
"Oh, my mistake. Anyway, since you're here, Mr. Pass, I think you should know why we sent out that distress signal:"
The top part of 2M once again opened up, producing a miniature film projector and movie screen, as well as a medium cola, and a bag of lightly buttered popcorn, that Spaz promptly helped himself to. "Coolness." he thought. "Just like in 'Star Wars'... Or 'Mission Impossible'... Or 'Get Smart'... Or 'Inspector Gadget'... Or that one episode of 'The Flintstones' I saw last week..."
(Please note that the next bit is what appears on the screen. For the sake of a better mental picture; Bozonians look like green, humanoid pigeons, and Dokongeys look like giant, dark-blue monkeys with spikes on their heads, and eagle-like talons on their feet.)
nnouncer: Dawn breaks on the planet Bozok, and the Bozonians greet each other, and start on their everyday activities.
Random Bozonian: Hi Joe.
Another Random Bozonian: Hi Mike.
Announcer: Seems like any other planet, huh? Well, that's where your SOOOOO wrong, mister! The Bozonians are without a doubt the single stupidest life form in known space. They make a Dopefish that's been dropped on it's head look like a brain surgeon, and as a result, no Bozonian would last more then 5 minutes on any given planet other then Bozok.
(Mike sits down on a park bench and starts eating rocks. One time he accidentally bites off part of his hand/wing. Instead of showing signs of pain, however, he just continues eating it.)
However- On Bozok, not only are they SAFE, they can do amazing things: They grow roses in their teeth, turn saltwater into gold, build skyscrapers that defy the laws of physics, and perform 100's of other miracles every day.
(Mike has eaten his upper appendage up to the elbow before he finally notices. He calmly pulls off a tree branch and sticks it in the stump where his arm was. The branch starts moving and twitching like it was the original arm. Mike uses this replacement arm to scoop up and eat more rocks.)
How do they do it? It's a concept so simple, your gonna laugh when I tell it to you (unless you've already fallen asleep.); They are too dumb to know they can't. For this reason, all other races have been banned from Bozok. All it would take it one person saying 'That's impossible' and an entire race would be destroyed.
Unfortunately, that vary well may happen. The Dokongeys, who have for some resign figured that THEY have the right to play God with who lives and who dies, have gone out into space with the intent to wipe out the entire race, and turn the dead planet into a university business school for their increasing number of high school graduates. The leader of the military force was unavailable for comment, and in fact, spit in our cameraman's ear when we requested an interview. We promptly crossed him off our list of best friends.
(The film ends.)
"We were sent from the nearby ing planet of Quiwel. However, someone leaked out information of our coming, and we got captured almost instantly..." said 2M solemnly. "We sent out distress calls for almost a week, but so far, YOU'RE the only one who reached the ship." Added 2R. "In short; your kinda our last hope... Sorry about the pressure." added 2U. "Thanks alot. I think I could handle it- I AM a super hero, after all, and I've faced a lot worse." said Spaz, trying to strike as heroic a pose as he could muster. Inside however, he was a little scared; what if he failed and his display caused the Dokongeys to determine that Carrotus was not fit to be populated by rabbits, and came to turn HIS home world into a community college. Their would be no one to warn them... Shaking his head a little to clear out the negative thoughts, Spaz got to the point. "OK, first things first: We gotta escape from here to get to that leader..." "That's not a problem- We already escaped 10 times. We were on number 11 when YOU showed up." said 2U. "The main problem is once we get out, the place is more impenetrable then a 3 mile block of reinforced concrete. Guards everywhere. To tell you the truth, this place is the safest on the ship for stowaways." added 2R. "We were just digging through the air vent using 2U as a shovel." said 2M, "We should be out in a minute."
"Great!" said Spaz. "Lets get going."
Meanwhile
"Have those guys finish their break yet?"
"Yes, sir captain. They are currently waiting your orders."
"THEN SEND THEM TO SECTOR 62081 NOW BEFORE I LOSE WHAT PATIENCE I HAVE LEFT!"
"Yes sir."

Will Spaz survive the BIG FIGHT with a bunch of plug ugly monkeys armed to the fangs in the next chapter?
To be continued... in part 4:
Spaz struts his stuff.