Que Passa!!!!

Yeah, the Donkonkgey were named after Donkey Kong, just as a joke... I actually read about the sneezing thing once in a book that had a poem in it:

Sneeze on Monday,
Sneeze for Danger
Sneeze on Tuesday
Kiss a stranger...

Etc. Etc. It also had that sneezing rule that I used but it didn't tell where it came from.
Spaz saves the world, all by himself, with nothing but speed, wits, and a large slice of cheesecake part 5
There's more then one way to kill off a civilization... Or 'The evil plan is explained'

Dateline: 4:00 PM
Location: Rapidly tracking through the shortest path from sector 62081 to the main armory room

"I mean, YOU WERE TRULY BEYOND SMOOTH BACK THERE!" Said 2U, who was following closer to Spaz then any of the others, as they made their way through the ship, stopping only to give a few major security devices a suitable 'reprograming' with Spaz's trusty blaster. "You're siblings must be honored to have such an awesome super hero like YOU in the immediate family. Tell me, do they ever get jealous?" Spaz was briefly considering telling the truth about the pecking order of his sibs, but the thought of possibly losing his new fan made him change his mind- after all, 2R was complaining that it was done with mirrors, and 2M, impressed with Spaz's resourcefulness, was studying a paddle ball and considering its possibilities for time travel. "Eh, sometimes they do. In fact, one time Lori came up asking me to teach her a few moves." Spaz said, deciding to tell something a little more truthful. After all, Lori HAD learned her variation of the side kick from him. And Jazz occasionally admitted that he was jealous about how Spaz could do his infamous double jump, but whenever he tried it with Spaz's directions ("It's easy; Just spin in midair, throw yourself to the ground, and miss."), he ended up chewing sod. "By the way, You never told me how these Donkongeys plan on destroying the Bozonians." Spaz said, hoping to change the subject. "Are they just gonna land and walk around saying 'that's impossible' everywhere they go?" "No, too many problems with THAT plan, Mr. Spam;" said 2M. "1) They'll only be able to take out a small area of those in earshot, 2) They don't account for deaf Bozonians, and 3) They might get killed in the following cataclysm. No, they have devised the most diabolical of weapons. Something so sinister, that it will cause the destruction of the whole planet in a matter of seconds." "What?" "The Logic Intensifier Armageddon Ray, or L.I.A.R. for short. One shot from that gun, and the IQ of every carbon-based life form on Bozok will be magnified 100 times. As a result, the Bozonians will be WAAY too smart to keep their miracles working, and Oh BABY will they die out, just like that!" "Maybe you heard of it," Said 2R. "Whenever you say that you can do something that someone else says you can't, what does the other guy say?" Spaz thought for a moment, "Uh... Liar?" "Ah, So you HAVE heard of it." "> GROAN< So, any ideas on how we're gonna destroy this ray?" "Well... We never even got THIS far... So..." "Um, don't tell me: I gotta come up with another plan?" "Yes!" Said all three droids in unison. "Man!" thought Spaz, "My heads starting to hurt from all this planing." "Well, there IS some GOOD news!" Stated 2U. "In accordance with The Super villain Fair play Act of 1950, the gun has to be charged up to mass blast the whole planet. Under these circumstances, the Dokongey would be forbidden to charge up the thing before their arrival to Bozok, so we have plenty of time to stop them before they fire!"
All of a sudden a loud voice from out of nowhere sounded. "Your attention please; This is your second-in-command, Numero Dose, speaking with an important announcement. As some of you may know, our captain has in response to a, now possibly deceased, unidentified super heroes attempt to stop us, decided to risk breaking the Super villain Fair play act of 1950, and we have been charging the L.I.A.R. a good half hour ago. Our top mathematicians now predict that there will be no delay time between our arrival, which will be 10 minutes duration, and the wiping out of Bozok, provided that we keep the power flow steady. To this point it should also be noted that our prisoners, the stupid droids that resemble sports equipment, are loose and about. Hello, wherever you are, I just want you to know that you haven't got a snowballs chance in heck to accomplish your goal. As of this moment, all the ships security is being put to work to find your location, and when we do, everyone on board is commanded to rush to your area with orders to dismantle you on site. That is all..."
There was an unnerving silence while both Spaz and the droids stared in shock. 2R broke it; "WHAT ARE WE DOING JUST STANDING HERE! THIS IS A MAYDAY CODE-RED SITUATION! LET'S MOVE MOVE MOOOOVE!... And by the way, 2U, you've made a fool of yourself once again, congratulations!" All three jumped directly into Spaz's arms in panic, and Spaz ran as fast as he could down the hall towards the main armory room.
Meanwhile:
"We've located the bots Sir, and... Uh oh..."
"What's up?"
"There seems to be an unidentified entity with them, I'll put it on screen."
>Blip< "Hmmm... He looks rather familiar... Wait a sec, isn't that the red rabbity thing with it's tongue hanging out that approached the ship earlier?"
"It can't be, Sir, we liquefied that guy almost an hour ago. And even if we missed him a little, he would have asphyxiated before he reached us."
"YOU FOOL! HE'S ONE OF THOSE SUPER HEROES- WHO'S TO SAY HE COULDN'T MAKE IT IF YOU MISSED HIM!"
"Well, it defies all logic, Captain..."
"Enough! Run an identity check!"
"Yes Sir,">Rrrng< >Rrrng< >Ding- You got mail< >Print Print Print "Hmm... Jackrabbit, Spaz. Younger brother and sidekick to Jazz Jackrabbit, four time champion of Cosmic magazine's 'Coolest furry space hero of the year award'. Idol and hero of a Carrotusian Bat named... Hmm... Sorry Captain, the name is badly smudged."
"Jazz Jackrabbit?!?"
"You know of him, Captain?"
"Lets just say our paths crossed once... Continue!"
"Yes sir... Fell down a flight of stairs, and got sucked up in a twister shortly after birth, and as a result has become omnivorous, constantly hungry, and a little on the loopy side with a fast metabolism (Kind of like a Tasmanian devil with long ears.). Lost his tail as a baby when he tried to eat the family piranha. Lifelong dream is to one day become as big a super hero as Jazz. Is rumored to be the only creature alive to have fought face-to-face with a dopefish and lived. Currently lives on planet Carrotus with his brother, younger sister Lori, and sister-in-law Eva. Seems that even though he's always in the shadow of his brother and sister, he's still managed a large undercover fan club, who's members are rumored to on occasion, die their fur red and eat small feathered animals. As of yet, however, these rumors have not been proven."
"Numero dose, After we take care of Bozok, You are to plot a course to Planet Carrotus. I believe a new theme park is in order for celebration..."
"Yes sir, Captain."
"Now... I think I might want to pay our little friend Spaz here a short visit at the main armory room."

Huh? The captain KNOWS JAZZ? Who is he, and will Spaz live through his encounter? Will Bozok and Carrotus be destroyed and colonized? Log on for the thrilling- and compared to the last chapters, rather long next chapter:
Spaz saves the world all by himself with nothing but speed, wits, and a large slice of cheesecake part 6:
he big cheese meets the big cheesecake.
Coming soon to a website near you.

About taking liberties with Spaz's history, well, none of my questions about Spaz- How he became so loopy, why he eats a lot and never gains weight, and (Most importantly of all) why he doesn't have a tail, have been answered, and so I decided to make my own history. In my opinion, Spaz has what I call Norvill Rogers syndrome- named after Scooby Doo costar Norvill "Shaggy" Rogers, and as a result, could not gain weight even if he tried.
Any thoughts as to who the villain is ; one thing is sure- it's not Devan!
(Those who read the story already, please refrain from telling...)