Mary Sue Goes to Carrotus
Chapter Two: Of Goths and Bounty Hunters
Written and illustrated by Lie A.

Handcuff had had more than enough of Emcis' stealing of every man. She was hideously obsessed with boys and took every opportunity to two-time and force the males to be two-timers themselves, stealing even those whom were already married. She was beautiful, though, so Handcuff really couldn't blame her. For one as gorgeous as Emcis, every man was fair game.

Handcuff continued to walk aimlessly until she realized ramming face-first into a tall figure. Handcuff recognized it as a male rabbit, a light grey, similar in hue but contrasting in shade to her own. His ears were bound together by dark blue bands, and both his shoulders and elbows on each arm had the same ribbons tied around them and knotted neatly. His chest also sported the same tied cloth, but of a slightly lighter shade, and his tail was oddly round and completely black.

He grumbled and turned over to look at Handcuff, about a head shorter than him. Handcuff had always known herself to be small, and it never ceased to make her uncomfortable. Yet, in the face of this rabbit so similar to herself, she didn't feel in the least bit nervous. His violet eyes scanned and pierced her frame, an androgynous voice speaking darkly, "Y'know, this is my territory. I suggest y'leave, unless ya want yer ears ripped off by an RF Missile." He pulled out a large gun the shade of his eyes to demonstrate and shot off three missiles at once into the air above him. His expression didn't change, still he same apathetic and monotonous tone in his voice. "Scram."

Handcuff was still in awe at her new acquaintance, stunned by his incredible ability to stay so cool, so calm, yet have that hard edge. "B-but first…can't I introduce myself?" A nod from the male, and she continued. "My name is Korry Blackrabbit…but you can call me Handcuff! W-what's your name, mister?"

The male rabbit looked extremely offended by that, stomping angrily on the ground and causing a few stray pebbles to jump. "Mister!? You come onta MY territory, little miss, and you run inta MY back, ya expect a pardon, and then ya call me MISTER!?!?"

Handcuff backed off, shaking her paws rapidly to try and soothe his fury. "Please! I didn't mean to insult you, honest! I was being polite!"

He was still roaring to himself and grabbed Handcuff by the collar of her halter, raising he to his eyes' level and glaring straight into her eyes. "If ya wanna be polite, then you will refer to me as miss. And my name is Lie, but you can call me ХS, mm-kay?"

Handcuff had no idea how the rabbit before her could possibly be female, considering her lack of breasts and her ferocity, but she decided that it'd be best not to argue on the issue of the "androgynous" rabbit's gender. She also had no clue how Lie'd gotten ХS from her own name, but heck, there were many much weirder names in the world of rabbits.

"Now, if ya will calmly leave quietly, I won't hafta blow yer head off with my RFs." Lie let go of Handcuff and stared her down until she turned tail and ran as fast as a rabbit could possibly go, skirting obstacles anywhere from the smallest pebble to the largest tree, finally dodging Lie's missiles and disappearing out of sight.

Lie cackled to herself, continuing to fire off the red missiles until it bored her and she sat beneath the grove of trees surrounding her territory, blowing the smoke off the tip of her gun and resting calmly. Had she actually killed Handcuff, she was sure she'd have made a pretty penny off that pretty rabbit's head. Any bounty was still a bounty, especially if that rabbit happened to be in the Blackrabbit line.

An overdressed rabbit fell out of the grove of trees behind Lie, laughing hysterically. Lie recognized her as Mystincia, the local Carrotus Temple Guard and a mercenary for hire. Her wingshaped ears were almost lifting her off the ground they were flapping so hard, her legs kicking inanely and her shotgun nearly falling out of her paws. The two strands of hair sticking off her part were bobbing, making her look to Lie like some bizarre type of insect.

Finally Mystincia calmed down and panted for breath, leaning heavily on Lie's shoulder and pushing her ridiculously long hair back into place. She spoke with an indescribable accent, showing off her fangs, where they were shown in place of the usual rabbit buckteeth, when she spoke, and at the same time she seemed uncomfortably familiar with the grey rabbit.

"Oh, Wie, you siwwy wittwe wabbit! Why wewe you chasing off yet anothew wabbit fwom youw tewwitowy? You never do that to me…"

"Yeah, and I'm gonna do it if ya don't getcher anorexic orange (-)(-)(-)(-) off my property!"

As she said that she launched several Seeker Missiles out of her gun, cackling madly as the second rabbit of that day ran for her life over the hills of Carrotus. Oh, how lovely it was to be Lie that day, wreaking revenge on all of those idiots who thought too highly of themselves, of men, of goths and bounty hunters…