Ok, time to save the thread from dying. This isn't my best attempt, but we need something to work from.

Suddenly suddenly, Jack and Jay were surrounded by a blinding white light and felt themselves being hurtled through time and space, which was painful since they kept getting hit by random numbers and clocks that appeared out of nowhere. Then a big rock (Jay thought it was a rock, though Jack thought it was a large wad of dirt) with red hair (Jay thought it was red hair, Jack thought it was yarn) and antlers (Jay thought they were antlers, Jack thought they were sticks) smashed into them, and knocked them unconsious before screaming "FREEDOM FOR THE LITTLE PEOPLES!" and ran off to wherever it was he was going, leaving Jack and Jay floating around in P.O.S.T.N.O.B.I.L.L.S. knows where, which was somehow relocated to a glue factory during the long period of nothing happening.

When the two awoke, they found themselves in a large green meadow spreading as far as their eyes could see, which wasn't very much, since they had been blinded by the flashing light. They started walking in what they assumed was the direction they would find civilization, (Jay thought they would find civilization, Jack thought they would find shoes, though he wasn't thinking very clearly due to the concussion he suffered from the blow to the head inflicted by the thing in the Time and Space Zone) not realizing that virtually every single person who was part of the War Tavern was sprawled about the planet that they were stranded on.

They were stranded on the planet Bob, where the vicious, ruthless, diabolical, megalomaniacal, bloodthirsty, destructive, terrifying, powerful, and really mean tyrant Lord Mallix ruled, and who could find nothing more pleasureable that the destruction of everything that ever had or will exist in this or any dimension, creating a complete void of nonexistence where everything would suffer from not being able to exist in anywhere. And the Taverners didn't know it yet, but they were the only threat to his plans for absolute annihilation of everything.



There, somebody post something now.