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Chapter 9
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the JJ2 Galaxy has this to say about itself:
Following the advent of mass-publishing (see page 4543, sub-title 44A, chapter 6, paragraph , line 56 for more information about this) the main executives of J2LC, headed by the company’s CEO, Frank Quist, thought that it would be advantageous for the company if they started to make something that would end the dominance of Arjan’s Book shops and their monopoly over the market. They needed something that was better than the Encyclopaedia Erotica. A ‘Do not disturb’ sign was subsequently hanged on an inconspicuous door that would lead to the main brainstorm room.
All sorts of ideas were born, inspected and thrown away in the single biggest J2LC operation in history. It turns out that most of those ideas involved taking the concepts of Encyclopaedia Erotica and just making them ten times more explicit, with pictures added. While everyone agreed that this would undoubtedly help to sell the finished product, Frank made a very good point about the brainstorm project (aka Project Brainstorm) and its purposes:
‘We are locked semi-permanently in this room not to encourage and/or stimulate the growth of the rabbit population but to simply provide light-hearted adult entertainment.’ And so, they all went on wrinkling their heads.
Five thousand J2LC Elephan-tus-refresher drinks and 5000 hours of light-hearted adult entertainment later, ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the JJ2 Galaxy’ saw the light of day. It rivalled the Encyclopaedia Erotica in every way, except one, which was that it couldn’t provide any form of entertainment at all. The number of pages fitted neatly into a 20-figure standard form number and a sophisticated sensory panel/keyboard enabled users to type in anything they wanted in a flash. The Guide’s purpose? It enables hitchhiker’s to get lost in ways they previously thought wasn’t possible and, perhaps, find a little bit of information about the place they are stranded at.
Being still in its infancy, ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ is still undergoing the centralization of its headquarters, stationed on planet Middleius-of-Galaxius, and the wiring of irrationally placed J2LC Tach-y-y-on-speed Signal Transmitters throughout the galaxy in order to ensure that every Guide has reasonable unreliable accessibility to information updates that may or may not be more inaccurate than the information replaced.
So far, J2LC has not lost a single lawsuit caused by angry users of the Guide who, one way or another, have suffered as a result of its inconsistencies.
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