dictionary.com
1. One who is proficient at using or programming a computer; a computer buff.
2. One who uses programming skills to gain illegal access to a computer network or file.

7. A programmer for whom computing is its own reward; may enjoy the challenge of breaking into other computers but does no harm; "true hackers subscribe to a code of ethics and look down upon crackers"

9. A person who enjoys exploring the details of
programmable systems and how to stretch their capabilities, as
opposed to most users, who prefer to learn only the minimum
necessary.

10. One who programs enthusiastically (even obsessively) or who
enjoys programming rather than just theorizing about
programming.

12. A person who is good at programming quickly.
13. An expert at a particular program, or one who frequently
does work using it or on it; as in "a Unix hacker".

16. A malicious meddler who tries to discover
sensitive information by poking around. Hence "password
hacker", "network hacker". The correct term is cracker.

The term "hacker" also tends to connote membership in the
global community defined by the net (see The Network and
Internet address). It also implies that the person
described is seen to subscribe to some version of the hacker
ethic.

It is better to be described as a hacker by others than to
describe oneself that way. Hackers consider themselves
something of an elite (a meritocracy based on ability), though
one to which new members are gladly welcome. Thus while it is
gratifying to be called a hacker, false claimants to the title
are quickly labelled as "bogus" or a "wannabee".
/dictionary.com

There. Hacker is the wrong term if you are trying to be malicious. The correct term is Cracker.

Cracker <> Hacker
Cracker = one who creates viruses, and cracks others computers to mess them up.
Hacker = one who likes to program and poke the intricate workings of other peoples programs.

There, now continue the discussion using the correct terminology.