Yeah, I double posted. Oh well. CHAPTER 5.
It's kind of short, but it accomplishes what I wanted. Once again, I'd like to warn that this isn't exactly a lighthearted story, and may even offend some people. That said, enjoy chapter 5.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5: The Shot Heard 'Round The Internet

Fooruman was happy with Cave Foo. He was quite confident that the exploding stairways would prevent any intruders from entering, and the seeker missile cannons were also a nice plus. It was impenetrable. However, as happy as he was with the castle, something bothered him. “Elliot,” he said into his 2-way intercom, “please meet me in the conference room.”

A reply was immediately heard out of the speaker. “Of course, Master,” said Elliot, “I’ll be there ASAP.”

Fooruman allowed himself a quick smile and then teleported to the conference room. It was a very simple room – it was at the very back of the cave, behind a wall of rock. The wall of rock would appear solid to anyone who touched it, and the only way to get through it was to speak a password at a certain point in the wall. Yet another security measure Fooruman had taken in building his new fortress.

Fooruman sat down on a huge chair at the end of a long table. Shortly after he sat down, he saw the rock wall open up, revealing Elliot. Fooruman looked on impatiently as Elliot walked into the room and sat down.

“Master, is there some kind of problem?”

“Yes, Elliot. As a matter of fact, there is. We’ve been preparing for years to fire the first shot in this war, and we just got owned by an unknown force. I take issue with the fact that we don’t even KNOW who carried out this first act of war. Now, Black Ninja was an acceptable loss, but Castle Foo wasn’t. This brings me to my point. Elliot, I want you to become my instrument of destruction against the resistance. Find them and eradicate them – show no mercy. If it’s a man, kill it. If it’s a woman or child, kill it. Poison their water supply, burn their crops – do it however you like. Just make sure it’s a slow, painful death.”

Elliot had never seen Fooruman this upset, and he knew there’d be no questioning his new orders. “Of course I’ll do it, master,” Elliot said confidently. He wasn’t really that confident in his success; he knew there would be almost no way he’d be able to defeat the likes of – no, he quickly dismissed the thought. “I’ll set out first thing tomorrow, master.”

“Excellent,” Fooruman said, “You’re dismissed.”

Elliot turned around and began to walk out the door. As he headed through the opening, he realized he hadn’t saluted – a terrible mistake. He couldn’t allow himself to make another slip-up like that. He looked behind him to make sure the wall of rock was sealed once more, and, satisfied, headed towards his quarters. It was time for him to do his daily maintenance on the Foo Products website, and he really wanted to just get it over with.

Once he got to his quarters, he sat down and focused on nothing but the job ahead of him. He typed in the URL like he always did – www.fooproducts.com. The page loaded instantly; the new fortress was equipped with an OC-1 line for blazing fast internet access. Elliot stared at the monitor and his jaw dropped. He let out a small gasp. Instead of the normal index.shtml that served as the Foo Products homepage, he saw 3 words in bold print: “Hacked By Chinese.” Elliot just stared at the screen and thought for quite a long time. Finally, he blinked once or twice and allowed himself to speak. “Oh, crap,” he said.