@Odin and Blackraptor: You can try.

@Faw: Uberbob lives by the voices. A voice said L33tz4n was his girlfriend, thus, in his mind, it was so.

@WR: We'll say it's a single-barrel. I'm not THAT mean.

I peered East down the corridor. I couldn't see much of anything, as the lighting was very poor throughout the entire labyrinth, possibly as a contribution to the zombie movie feeling they had strived so hard to capture. I signaled to my companions that the coast was clear, even though I had no idea if it was actually true. I had the sudden urge to strafe Northward.
According to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, strafing is defined as to "rake (as ground troops) with fire at close range, and especially with machine-gun fire from low-flying aircraft." For this reason, strafing seemed a bit difficult, so I started playing with Araches' floppy pink bunny hood instead. She was not amused.

Maybe it's some slang form I've never heard, but I think by "strafe" you mean "sidle." Forgive me for my ignorance, but I assume you don't want to shoot the Northern wall. XD