I can't even pretend that the majority of those commands actually made sense. I'm going to carry out the ones that seemed like they might have been conceived in an actual human brain.

I resisted the urge to start doing stupid dances... for a while, at least. Looking around I didn't see anything that seemed takable, or for that matter even worth taking. The fake plants were useless, and frozen to their pots, and the doorknocker was securely attached to the door. There was no doormat, likely because there was no mud outside to endanger the floor of whoever lived here. Perhaps they didn't want company anyway.
I turned to L33tz4n and told her to summon a Water Elemental. She did so. The somewhat mightly liquid being appeared out of thin air, then froze solid, then vanished again.
Having accomplished absolutely nothing for all of my careful planning, I knocked on the door. We waited a while for someone to answer, and after a minute or two someone did. A young bird-man with green feathers and an expensive-looking suit answered the door. He looked twenty-something, and handsome, though not particularly friendly. He glanced over our party, raised an eyebrow, and asked, "May I help you, ladies and gents?"
"Give us food," said Uberbob.
"Uh.. huh," the bird-man replied. "Would you mind telling me precisely who you are first? I should like to think you do have a name of some sort, am I right?"
"Food," said Uberbob. "Give. Us. Food."
"Ignore him," said Araches, pushing Uberbob backwards and stepping up to the gentleman. "My name is Araches, and my companions and I are very tired and hungry. We haven't eaten in weeks, and we hardly ever sleep. No one ever knows what time it is, you see, so we just assume that it's never any time at all."
The birdman looked everyone over once more, gave little nod, then beckoned us to enter. Uberbob and Araches rushed inside the mansion, followed by Fooruman and Shuriken. L33tz4n and I exchanged glances.
"You think we sh0uld go in?" she asked. "We don't know this person. It could be a trap."

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