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*is offended by UF's sig banner*
My companions and I traveled West through the cavern. At some point I bumped into something soft and fuzzy, which said, "Ow, that hurt, but I felt breasts touching me so I'll let it go this time." No doubt it was Uberbob. An exasperated sigh from nearby alerted me to Fawriel being present as well.
"There's another ladder here," Uberbob explained. "It goes up. The other one went down. Feng Shui is lost." I considered explaining how a ladder can go up or down, depending on which end you find yourself on, but I didn't want to imply that I was tolerating his idiocy. Instead I shoved him to the side, felt around until I found the ladder, then climbed up. I could hear the others following suit behind me.
I reached the top of the climb and pulled myself out of yet another hole in the ground. As I surveryed my surroundings, I seemed to be standing in a large kitchen, filled with ovens, sinks, and various other cooking crap. After poking around a spice rack for a few seconds I turned to see that my companions had all climbed out of the passage as well, including Fooruman and his canoe.
"How did you climb up the ladder?" I asked the old man, genuinely amazed.
"Ah, my good man," the senile fool began, "I have studied under the greatest ladder climbers of the ages, some of which were already dead before I was even born. Through rigorous training and developement of my mad foo-wizard skillz, I-"
"Nevermind," I interrupted. Ignoring whatever anyone else had to say on the matter, I opened the door in the kitchen leading North. No sooner had I turned the knob when an icy chill nipped at my skin. The door lead back outside, into the bitter cold of the polar terrain. My current lightweight outfit, though excellent for swordfighting, offered very little protection against the harsh elements awaiting me outside. Most of my companions were equally lacking in terms of clothing, yet somehow no one ever seemed to lose a toe or anything while trecking through the snow. I guess we were lucky or something.
I took a deep breath, then went outside and began the journey Northward, for no reason whatsoever. The others followed, for lack of anything better to do. After a few hours of mindless wandering we came to a large, candy-striped pole with a very friendly-looking man standing beside it. A little too friendly if you ask me, and somehow very familiar.
"Hi!" he exclaimed. "I'm DEN-"
"Cut the crap," I declared. "Send us to Blackraptor's Lair."
"Erm... okay!" the man replied. "But first you have to give me a reason to smi-"
"Now!" I shouted. "Or else!"
The strange man glanced at me, then at my katana. After a brief period of silence, he reached into his pocket and threw out a sparkling rainbow that stretched across the sky. "Good luck!" he called out, waving. "And remember, any place can be a wonderful place, as long as you have-" Before he could finish I leapt into the rainbow, and began my very stupid and gay-looking warping sequence to the entrance of the Dreadlord's domain...
And now wait for Radium to return. *dances*
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