Uhm yeah.. hi, I guess?

Whoa, you guys really scare me xD I'm not a legend or anything! Don't make me feel so special! ;_;
Blazey showed this thread to me and.. yeah. I thought it'd probably be better if I answered.

So, where do I start?

First of all, I guess I have to apologize.
Seriously, I wonder why you guys still seem to like me so much, for I haven't really been the most reliable and nice person around... art-wise.
Or maybe I'm wrong and you're after me and want to throw rotten things at me? I dunno. I'll wait and see, I guess. >.>

Honestly, I'm so sorry I never got to finish all your art requests. It was a stupid idea of me to even start that thread and I feel so bad about it.
I've always had problems drawing stuff for people and I don't even know why. I just can't seem to put enough.. passion, thought - whatever you may call it - into pictures as long as they don't contain my own characters, because I just can't really.. feel with them. Or something. It sounds weird, I know, but maybe the artists among us know what I mean.
So that kinda de-motivated me, among other things.
Plus, I'm forgetful as heck. Seriously, I'd forget my own head if it wasn't for my parents or my friends telling me what I still need to do several times a day. My parents say it comes from stress - and dude, I had a lot of stress back then. School, people around me being stupid towards me because I was in that I'm-SO-goth phase (I guess some of you MIGHT recall that... -.-) and my first relationship ever. Yes, it was nice, but also a pain in the.. butt sometimes. The stress went so far I even uhm.. well, let's say, my stomach was ready for the scrap heap. If you know what I mean.
Last but not least - and that's something I still have today and the reason why i'm STILL slow at everything - I just can't seem to find the inner rest to just sit down and do something, no matter how much time I have. It's pathetic, I know. There's ALWAYS something that keeps me from doing things. Mostly a whole bunch of people who want something or won't stop talking to me. Ugh. And I can't just tell them to stop talking to me because then I'm the big evil guy again. -.-
I'm currently trying to get rid of that can't-get-no-rest stuff by making actual PLANS for the day and sadly having to neglect other stuff for it. Especially because it's my last year of school now and I really need to work. *shudders*

BUT I guess you're already growing tired of my whining so ENOUGH OF THAT <-- haha omg that smiley!

So, why did I leave, besides having a really bad conscience and not daring to come back because I thought people here hated me?

Well, since I'm on a router - and that's a few years already - I can't play JJ2 any more. No matter which ports I unlock and yadda yadda. It just keeps throwing me out after a few seconds. IT'S FRUSTRATING.
I still love that game so much and creating levels and tilesets was the BEST THING EVER. I swear. I just can't play it any more and kinda lost the skill and patience for making tilesets. ;_;
Besides that, I had.. other stuff to do, which seemed more important to me. My boyfriend, for example. I guess many of you know how that works. >.>

Well, I probably won't be able to play JJ2 in the near future, but I can try and stop by here more often if you like.
And as some of you already posted here, there are a few places I can be found. My website, for example - it should be regularly updated. Then there is my deviantART archive, and of course my DeadJournal and LiveJournal. Some of the posts are friends-only, so if you have an account there, feel free to add me to your friends.
If you're lucky, I'm even on AIM sometimes. My screen name is "thecibex" there.

Yeah, well, kudos to everyone who read all that.

Again, I'm sorry for how I've treated you and you shall know that I still love you guys. All of you. Now I'm in an all nostalgic mood, remembering the good ol' JJ2 days ;_; Eeee.
I hope you can forgive me.

Love,
Sarina, Cibex or Skulg... any of those works.