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Act 1, Scene 1:
Shrink is onstage, Enter Unknown
Unknown: Hey dude.
Shrink: That is your mother's fault.
Unknown: It is?
Shrink: Rings bell Whoops! Times up. Pay up!
Unknown: Grrmph. Flings some coins onto the table
Shrink: Now, tell me more about those problems you've been having since childhood.
Unknown: There aren't any.
Shrink: Then what are you doing here?
Unknown: I'm staging a play of Alice in Wonderland, and I'm trying to figure out how to do the part with Eat Me and Drink Me.
Shrink: Oh, you want Voo-Doo priests!
Unknown: No, I wanted potions that change size.
Shrink: You want Voo-Doo priests.
Unknown: I do?
Shrink: You do.
Unknown: Gosh, and I always thought I wanted money.
Shrink: Out of my office!
Unknown: Geeze, some rabbits have no sense of humor. Leaves room
Act one, scene two:
Enter Super being of unimaginable evil aka BoX
Super being of unimaginable evil aka BoX: My name is too long!
SBOUEABX: I want evil henchmen! And a penthouse!
Enter evil henchmen and a penthouse
Evil henchmen and a penthouse: The penthouse can't talk.
SBOUEABX: I never wanted it to talk.
Evil henchmen: Well, you got what you wanted. (How are we all talking in unison?)
SBOUEABX: Then I want a million carrotian credits.
Enter a million carrotian credits
A million carrotian credits: A million carrotian credits can't talk either.
SBOUEABX: This is insane! Wakeman! Write me out of this.
Exit a million carrotian credits, Evil henchmen and a penthouse
SBOUEABX: Thank you, Wakeman.
Author: Actuallly, I did that.
SBOUEABX: Are you Biased?
Author: No.
SBOUEABX: Kills author
Author: Hey, you can't do that! Just for that, I'm going to write you out of the story!
SBOUEABX: Is written out of the story
Act one, scene three.
Enter Kovu
Kovu: What about Alec? I'm Alec too!
Alec: I'm also Kovu.
Kovu aka Alec aka Complainer: HEY!
Kovu aka Alec: That's better. Story time.
Kovu aka Alec: And thus it happened that SBOUEABX was written out of the story, which is why he wasn't.
Wakeman: (Who wasn't there) Hey! You're swiping from Jazz Trek!
Super friendly cow that would never whack anyone whacks Kovu aka Alec
Exit Wakeman (Who wasn't there in the first place)
Kovu aka Alec: Ahem. As I was saying, it thus was written out of SBOUEABX, which came to pass as the story.
Enter SBOUEABX
SBOUEABX: You mean I'm the story now?
Enter Unknown
Unknown: Have you seen a Voo-Doo priest?
Enter Spaz Jackrabbit
Spaz: I am not FoD.
Enter FoD
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
Kovu aka Alec: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Exits to next scene
SBOUEABX: I'm a Waffling Loincloth.
Unknown: Did you say Waffling Voo-Doo? Chases after SBOUEABX. Exit both.
Spaz: I am not FoD.
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
Spaz: I am not FoD.
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
Spaz: I am not FoD.
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
Spaz: I am not FoD.
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
Exit all
Enter Someone Else
Someone Else: Is it safe to come out yet?
Act one, scene four:
Enter Kovu aka Alec and Beauman
Beauman: The author forgot my awesome ASCII letters.
Kovu aka Alec aka Beauman: You think that's bad? He thinks that I'm you!
Enter Shrink
Shrink: That's your mother's fault.
Beauman: Shoots Shrink
Beauman Clone #999999 died
SBOUEABX: YaY.
Kovu aka Alec: Where did you come from? More importantly.... why does my name keep changing?
SBOUEABX: I'm not here. That's why I am.
Beauman: Was there originally a plot to this story?
SBOUEABX: No.
Alec aka Kovu: Yes.
Beauman: Maybe.
Shrink: *Gargle*
Exit all
Act two, scene one:
Enter Author
Author: I've been asked to give a recap of what happened in Act one, as I couldn't understand it.
Author: A bunch of things yelled at each other and a Waffling Loincloth Waffled.
Enter Me
Me: I've been asked to give a precap of what will happen in Act two, as you don't know it.
Me: A plot might emerge, several new characters will possibly be introduced and Beauman might finally figure out why he has so many clones.
Enter SBOUEABX
SBOUEABX: I'm the main character, so I get to say that none of what they're saying is true.
Me: NO IT ISN'T! YES IT IS! NO IT ISN'T! Cries
Author: What a bad BoX, you made Me cry.
Me: NO HE DIDN"T!!!!! Cries
SBOUEABX: I'm evil.
Enter Spaz Jackrabbit and FoD
Spaz: I am not FoD.
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
Spaz: I am not FoD.
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
Spaz: I am not FoD.
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
Spaz: I am not FoD.
FoD: Liar! You are FoD! You are!
SBOUEABX: FoD, you are FoD.
FoD: Liar! He is FoD! I'm not!
SBOUEABX: Beams FoD and Spaz Jackrabbit to planet Barney
SBOUEABX: BUAHAhaHAhaHAhaHA.
Enter Evil Comb and Kovu
Evil Comb and Kovu: We're the new villains around here! SBOUEABX, you can retire!
Author: Actually, you're the current villains for the War Tavern story. Get out of here.
Kovu aka Alec: But I'm a prominent character!!!!
Author: You should have thought of that before becoming evil in another story.
Evil Comb: I'll get you for this!
Wakeman: (He never needs to enter) Oh yeah sure.
Kovu aka Alec: I'm out of here. Come on, Comb.
Wakeman: I know you are but what am I?
Me: You're Wakeman.
FoD: I know! You're Spaz Jackrabbit!
SBOUEABX: Kills everyone in this scene except himself. And Wakeman. And Me. And the Author. Not to mention FoD. And Spaz. Kovu aka Alec and the Evil Comb don't count either.
Exit all from boredom
Act two, scene two:
Enter pile of trash
Pile of trash: I can't talk either.
Enter ventriloquist
Ventriloquest (As pile of trash): TO BE CONTINUED.
Enter SBOUEABX
SBOUEABX: No! I'm so evil, I decree there will be NO MORE CONTINUATIONS IN THIS WEIRD STORY!
Wakeman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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