Hahaha! Finally did it. This "one chapter every few months" deal sounds perfect, don't you guys think?


n00b had never ridden in a cop car before. It was an experience he hoped never to have happen again in the near future. When arrested, he was tossed into the car, and then promptly was beaten with nightsticks into unconsciousness.

n00b awoke sometime later with a massive headache and no idea where he was. As he got himself off the damp floor, n00b looked in front of
him. There wasn't much there aside from a large wall. He stared at the wall. A quick thought process went through his head.

"You know, prisons tend to not have such nice crimsons red walls. Maybe I wasn't arrested after all!" As he thought about the wondrous prospect of being let off the hook, a voice from behind him shattered his thought train.

"Are you going to stare at the wall all day, or do you wish to get started?"

n00b quickly turned to see a very large podium, before his eyes managed to reach it's top, he thought "Drat, so much for going to Taco Bell." At the top of the podium were tall cloaked figures. There was a certain figure in the center that was a bit taller than the rest and had glowing red eyes. n00b assumed this was the speaker.

The rest of the room was very different from the crimson wall, it was a dank light blue, with it's only light source being a dinky light bulb dangling from the ceiling. The rest of the walls had designs of beavers carved into them for reasons now unknown.

n00b was right, the middle figure was the speaker.
"n00b, do you know what this place is?" inquired the Speaker.

n00b actually didn't know what the place was, so he took a guess. "This wouldn't be where the 'Burning People Cult' meets is it?" It was a terrible guess.

"What kind of bloody idiot are you?" replied the Speaker, "This is the high court of Suburbia."

"Suburbia? That's an actual country?"

"Yes."

n00b was dumbfounded, his whole life had been apparently a lie. n00b, like every other suburbian, assumed that he lived in the same country as the city dwellers and country bumpkins.

The Speaker continued speaking, "It's a long story with gaping plot holes, I'd rather not get into it. Listen n00b, you're the first criminal we've had in a long time, and since what you did was merely an accident, you're not being arrested."

n00b's eyes brightened and he asked, "You mean I'm off the hook?"

The Speaker laughed and then said "No, but that was the best joke I've heard in years. You're going to become our personal "gopher". n00b, Suburbia isn't the clean place you've grown to love, oh no, it's been horrendously tainted by the current generation of teenagers. Our fair country currently has
the largest drug operation in the world, and we have so many policies on teenagers and drugs, we really can't do a thing about it."

"... So why am I going to be a gopher?" asked n00b.

The Speaker answered with, "Because when we get a report of a drug lord, you will "gopher" them, and bring them back to us. You regain your freedom when the country is back to it's original peaceful state." The Speaker then tossed a manila folder down to n00b. "Inside you'll find the vital statistics on an up-an-comer. He should be fairly easy to take down."

n00b opened up the folder, inside was a small sheet of loose-leaf paper that read simply:

Name: Robin Thiessen

Nick: Xayo, DarkXayo

Age:10

Gender: Male

"Erm, are you sure this is all I have to work with?" asked n00b, "no personality quirks, pictures, or housing information?"

"We're as stumped as you are. That's all the information we could find on him. A little birdie did tell us he lives in the 'Green Willow Oaks' district." the Speaker replied in a cautious manner.

"District?"

"... Neighborhood. Never got used to that term."

With that a trap door opened below n00b, who fell in and was promptly beaten with nightsticks.