Ah, the worst chapter I have ever written methinks, please forgive me.


*Chapter 19: A little on theology*

A cold wind was blowing off the hills toward the sea. From the top of the hill the entire city sat out below, a multicolor smear across the green landscape. And in the center lay the palace, its gigantic and slightly unkempt stone towers, surrounded by the broad expanse of its even more unkempt gardens. The palace was old; small trees sprouted on old rooftops and whole ecosystems had developed over the centuries; the lower dungeons were said to be permanently flood and the source of many a royal fish dinner, whilst the upper turrets had three species of birds named after them. The group of demons looked upon the scene dismissively.

"Pretty isn't it?" said Sheldon looking at the vista. Wit smiled "You know; I helped found that city, a real work of art; especially the west quarter." Red snorted "Whatever, lets do this. Angel boy, the book, and do it properly!" Everyone turned to Vernon who wilted under their combined gaze. He couldn't believe that he of all people was doing this. He should feel proud; this was his big day after all; there were thousands of demons who'd only dreamt of doing this, and here he was, with the big four no less, well, the big three and the new guy, about to perform the greatest role a third level like him could ever hope to aspire to. Yet he really liked this place; it had good food, good drink and people you could ignore; just as he was settling in they had to pull this on him. The gaze was much harsher now; it wasn't only the hilltop group watching him now; he looked up at the sky at the ranks of waiting demons, wingtip to wingtip, and behind them... the others. Feeling like he was made of lead putty he stepped forward and removed the book from its bag.

Red scowled and looked around the landscape; looking deeper than mere matter, searching for... It. It would attempt to interfere, It had made plans, she could tell, and it wouldn't just accept defeat. It was good at warping the world around itself. But It was probably too late; all that was needed was the incantation and the final ride, then it would all be over. Red smiled; her teeth were notably more pointed now as she eased herself into a more comfortable, more ready position.

Contrary to popular belief, there are no differences between angels and demons, or at least only those like the differences between terrorists and freedom fighters. All of them were created unique, individual spirit beings, winged or wingless one, two, three or seven legged any shape or form under the sun, or any sun. Of course they could change form, but usually only for fun or to scare mortals, or more easily manipulate them. The demon Archenteron for example was rather more a small fluffy pink canid than the maggot encrusted seven foot beast he preferred to appear as. But Vernon was one of the classic breed, and as he stepped forward his clothes dissolved into a black satin robe [As a demon only black would do] and two large, very unaerodynamic wings seemed to sprout from his back. [What they had actually done was slip sideways into the normal dimensions of reality, needing neither mass nor energy demons could do as they wished.]

The glare was almost unbearable now; everyone was waiting for him, waiting for his part to be done in line with the ways of things. The book was solid iron, it gleamed a dull grey in the fresh summer day. He opened it at random, it was the right page nonetheless, it couldn't be anything otherwise. The words under his gaze writhed on the page and fought his mind with their annoyance at being read; there was probably enough power in the book to destroy a small star. This thought didn't comfort him one bit. He turned to the waiting group. "I don't have to do the name thing do I?" The look they returned told him that yes, he would. He took a deep breath and began.

Every demon or angel had some real name; for the lucky ones it was something rather random, a unique sound to befit their unique form, something like Aztaln Others were named after either virtues or vices. The big four, Famine, War, Pestilence and Death had been the originals though two of them had been removed; Famine just previously but Pestilence had quit with the advent of hospitals. But there were others; Impartiality, Deviancy and, he looked at Sheldon Prejudice, but there were very many demons out there. You could take another name, but your real name stuck with you for eternity. Vernon cleared his throat and began. "I... *sigh* I, Sexual Acts involving Pineapples speak with the authority of He who rules the world unto..."

Around him the clouds massed and the temperature fell. It was the beginning of the end.