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Violet CLM

JCF Éminence Grise

Joined: Mar 2001

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Mar 16, 2007, 09:21 PM
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Here is an outline of the JJ1 plot I wrote three years ago: it assumes that episodes A, B, and C (everything after Eva is rekidnapped by the taxi) take place chronologically after episode 6, which is debatable, so you're welcome to adjust that in your mind as you see fit.

Quote:
The story of Jazz Jackrabbit 1 begins on an unnamed, barren rock planet, home to the "Rats". Jazz has just saved their villiage (we don't know what from), and they present him with a rock as a token gift. Jazz gets into his spaceship, the Jazz-01, and blasts off, deciding to bring along a cat should he visit this planet again. I guess he didn't like the Rats much.

Jazz throws the rock the Rats gave him into the back of his ship, where lies an enormous pile of rocks. Suddenly, the broadcast of "Married... with Chinchallas" is interrupted for a special bulletin. "Shellian Terrorist Devan Shell had kidnapped the rabbit princess Eva earlong. The princess was quoted as saying This sucks!" Jazz, appreciative of the money he could get from the merchanising alone, decides to rescue the princess. (And we all know how well the merchandising turned out)

Meanwhile, Devan is revealing to Eva (I think they're in a Medivo castle) his purpose in kidnapping her. Devan thinks that the rabbits will surrender, making Devan the King of Carrotus, now that he has their beloved princess in captivity. He also reveals the reason he hates rabbits so much - he once read "The Tortoise and the Hare" and has found all rabbits to be evil and maniacal ever since. Eva is not impressed by this information.

Cutting back to Jazz, we learn that he has flown the Jazz-01 to the Intergalactic Repneck Bar, a "seedy watering hole" flying around in space, in order to find out more about Devan Shell. He gets into a fight with a green lizard from Deserto, and is given a "drink on the house" from a rat waitress. Suddenly, an orange creature appears on stage and asks the audience to give a warm welcome to "the comic stylings of 'The Mean Green Hare!'" Jazz is pulled up onto the stage by his shoulder, and attempts to do a stand up comedy routine. It fails. The Rebel Turtle reaches out a long cane and pulls Jazz off the stage..

The Rebel Turtle tells Jazz that he and Devan used to study martial arts together (before copyright laws stopped Devan in his plans of becoming a ninja turtle). The turtle tells Jazz that Devan is a "really clever guy with a lot of wacko ideas! He's got a huge ego, so he tends to surround himself with morons." The turtle also suggests that Jazz should steal as many weapons as he can from Devan to use against his army. Meanwhile, the Deserto lizard has found Jazz's "drink on the house" and has drunken it. His brain becomes completely addled and he falls down unconscious.

Jazz flies off to the planet Diamondus, which Devan's turtles are pillaging for the precious gems it contains. He lets Chuck the Hip Hop out of a cage, but Chuck flies away as soon as Jazz is injured, as do all Hip Hops in all of the games. Jazz also meets Devan briefly on Diamondus, and Devan expresses his disbelief that Jazz will be able to win. They part, and Jazz finishes securing Diamondus for the Galactic Rabbits.

From Diamondus, Jazz flies to the planet Tubelectric - presumably to stock up on goodies, as there seems to be no evidence of turtle invasion. Or maybe the galactic rabbits just wanted to have control of Tubelectric, and they sent Jazz to do it. Anyway, Jazz blasts his way through two areas of the abandoned munitions factory and secures the planet for the galactic rabbits.

Now it's off to Medivo, where Eva and Devan await, which has been taken over by turtles in Marvin the Martian helmets. Jazz quickly disposes of them and reaches a large arena where Devan awaits inside a strange war machine. At first Devan attempts to shoot Jazz with toaster-like bullets, but after Jazz proves too quick for these attacks, he switches to destroying the arena around him. Eventually Jazz destroys the machine, and Devan somehow gets away with Eva, but not before Jazz learns of a change in Devan's plans. He no longer plans to rule Carrotus, he wants to destroy it, and is building powerful battleships to do the job. Why he still wants Eva, I'm not sure...

Jazz wastes no time in flying the Jazz-01 to the area of the galaxy where Devan is building the battleships. In quick sucession, he destroys Devan's enormous supercomputer, recaptures the planet Technoir, and does something unknown involving a place called Orbitus. While on Orbitus, he battles Devan again (who is riding on top of a giant ostrich). It's a safe bet to say these three locations are no longer usable for Devan's plans. Only problem is, Jazz now has no idea where to go next, as Devan got away again.

Fortunately, Eva brought her Porta-Fax with her, and sends a message to Jazz telling him that Devan has regrouped to "1320,23 in Sector X". Jazz flies off to the planet Fanolint, which we can only assume is the location named, and secures it for the galactic rabbits. He then does the same for the planet Scraparap, where Devan's turtles are stealing metal and parts for their battleships. After that, Jazz finds an airbase built by Devan. Nothing of notice takes place in the airbase, except that Jazz fights Devan again, only this time Devan is in a large tank.

Jazz blows up the air base, but Devan escapes again with Eva. Jazz gets into the Jazz-01, but the explosion of the air base sends the Jazz-01 crashing into the planet Turtemple - the Secret Temple of the Turtle. In this area of the galaxy, Devan is cloning his army with the SUPERCOPY 2000 Mean Gene Machine (didn't they already use that joke with "mean green hare"?). Jazz recaptures/loots the planet of Turtemple and steals a spaceship, which he uses to fly to first Nippius and then Jungrock. Devan is now getting worried, and Jazz begins searching for the battleships Devan has been building.

Jazz heads for three of Devan's most crucial planets; Marbelara, playground of Devan's elite Schwarzenguards - Slugion, vast treasure houses which aren't very guarded - Dreempipes, the fuel refinery for Devan's destroyers. Jazz secures them all for the galactic rabbits, even fighting an enormous owl creature in Dreempipes (Haven't seen Devan since the air base...).

Jazz is now so close that he can actually see Devan's "Turtle-Gunner Destroyers" looming in the distance. On the way, he goes through two planets, one unimportant and one fairly important. Pezrox (also spelled Pezrock) is just another planet which Devan has captured, whereas Crysili (also spelled Crysilis) is the location where Devan has stashed all the stolen treasures from all the other worlds. Jazz spends a bit of time raiding it, then heads off to meet his destiny in the Twin Mega Battleships (as they are also called).

Jazz exits the Jazz-01 (...wait, wasn't it left behind on Turtemple? This is the main continuity error of JJ1.) on an airboard and approaches the first battleship. He breaks inside of it, and fights his way to the CPU, which shoots fireballs at him. Jazz destroys the CPU and flies out of the battleship before it is destroyed. He then repeats the process for the second battleship. After that, he flies to Devan's personal spaceship, where Jazz battles a giant gray clone Devan has made of Jazz, who doesn't have a gun, just some green magic powers. Devan escapes, but Jazz finds a map in the ship's main computer with the location of Eva Earlong. Rather than persue Devan, he goes to rescue Eva.

Jazz lands on a barren planet (possibly the same one that the Rats live on... wouldn't that be circular?) and walks through a cave. Once on the outside of the cave, he sees Eva inside a cage, held up by a long rope going across an enormous chasm. Jazz steels his stomach, grabs the rope, and begins to climb across. When he is about two thirds there, the rope breaks, and Jazz and Eva (in the cage) both go flying towards a ledge. Eva lands safely, and the cage breaks, freeing her. Jazz barely manages to grasp onto the edge of the ledge, and just as he is about to fall off, Eva rescues him. They kiss. A Galactic Taxi pulls up and drives them away. It is driven by Devan Shell - making his escape somewhat unusual, but the fact is that he manages to kidnap Eva again. This happens completely off screen, so I'm not sure how.

Once more in persuit of Eva, Jazz follows Devan across the planets of Exoticus, Industrius, Muckamo, Raneforus and Stonar before finding Devan and Eva inside the spacecraft (I assume) "Decksta". He destroys some crucial machine, causing Devan, Eva and the Schwarzenguard who kidnapped her when the game began to flee to Devan's Secret Hideout. Jazz follows a floating sign directing him to Devan's Hideout on an airboard - apparently the Jazz-01 has vanished again.

Jazz then explores the planets of Ceramicus, Deserto and Lagunicus without finding Eva, though he does defeat Devan quite handily while on Lagunicus. By this point Devan is so lacking in forces that there's practically no challenge at all in beating him, and Devan is not seen again until Jazz Jackrabbit 2. Jazz finds Devan's hideout, and after defeating the guards, somehow learns that Eva has been stashed on the planet Holidaius. The story continues in Jazz Jackrabbit: Holiday Hare 94.
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