Look, being incapable of spelling is bad enough. But you don't even know how to use punctuation marks properly. And have you ever heard of quotation marks? They're used when people speak. Try throwing them into your story; it might clear things up a bit.

And honestly, that story is extremely amateur.

First off, name the kids. Don't just go through the whole outline saying "that kid who this" and "the kid who that." It's boring.

Jazz and Eva have a fight, right? And then the kids wander off. Look, there's no way they could just stumble upon Devan's old base. Jazz would have to live within five miles of it, and that wouldn't happen.

And when did Devan even have a base on Carrotus?! He didn't, unless you're referring to the labs featured in JJ2. But seriously, do you think for a second that Jazz would have just left it there?

So, Jazz and Eva realise the kids wandered off. This is something kids do; Jazz would not overreact and call up Spaz and Lori to help look until he's been searching for a great deal of time.

Look, to cut a long rant short, this is not good. It's not even close. There are so many poor plot points that it's pathetic. I know I sound rude, but this needs serious improvement in every aspect.