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Originally Posted by Radium
Something it really needs is more "initializing shots", describing where the character is and how he's doing, so to speak. In movies, these are the shots that pan out over a room before showing what's going on inside.
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*Snaps fingers* Yeah, I get what you're saying. Tell me, how's this for the beginning of chapter 3:
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Keiy awoke back inside the inn, in another of the rooms. He lay on a small bed, mattress gray with age. The innkeeper was sitting next to the left of his bed, and two surviving guards were sitting on the right. The room was smelling smoky, walls charred and burned.
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Now, I know something is missing. But I don't really know what I can add without sounding like I'm rambling...
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