In the span of two years, this story has moved approx. 2 hours. Note to self: Write more.

The next Minute of n00b’s currently unfortunate life was a black abyss filled with nothing but pain, suffering, a twinge of bird noises, and then some more pain for good measure. n00b awoke from this torturous state by the distinct feeling that he was being poked at by a rather pointy object multiple times.

“Ok, that’s enough poistering; I’m not dead or anything.” n00b said to his unknown assailant, face still planted firmly on the ground. n00b was poked once more and decided to at the very least see who was poking him. As n00b got himself off the ground, he heard an object drop and hit the pavement. When he did finally get completely upright again (which took a while due to some rather nasty scratches) n00b took a quick survey of the area in front of his face. There was a two-story house in front of the currently unshowered lagomorph which seemed to be made of bricks. n00b couldn’t really tell for sure, however, since there was a hugeass garden covering the entire front lawn and the majority of the house. “Wow, that’s a hugeass garden” thought n00b in a literary faux-paux. He also noticed out of the corner of his eye a rather pointy stick that reminded our usually in pain protagonist of some discomfort he had endured a mere moments ago. This spurred a quick look around, which quite unfortunately did not reveal the poker. “Curses,” thought n00b in a rather dramatic, yet simplistic, fashion, “now I’ll never learn who poked me.”

n00b began to make his way towards the door of the garden infested house. During this time he shifted his thought train to rather generic and awfully clichéd happy thoughts such as kittens. He attributed this to the serene garden that was otherwise slowly taking over a rather good house. As n00b rang the doorbell he was contemplating rainbows, clouds, and the symbiotic relationship of the two. A few seconds later, the door opened revealing the angriest resident n00b had ever met. The attire of this rabbit vaguely reminded n00b of someone particularly famous, but he couldn’t quite put his finger as to who it was. n00b attributed this to the fact that he was awfully distracted by the rabbit’s vibrant red fur.

“Would you happen to be Ro-“ started n00b.
“No. I’m Stormie, Whaddyah want?” said the homeowner now identified as Stormie as he cut off n00b.
“Ah,” n00b began as he took notice of the oddly colored wristbands on Stormie and then continued, “well in the that case would you happen to know of a Robin Theissand? Perhaps you alternatively call him Xayo, or even more alternatively Dark Xayo.”
“Yeah, I know ‘im, and nobody calls hin Xayo or Darth whatever.” replied Stormie in a slightly annoyed tone, he then added “Why do you need to know?”

This question caught n00b off guard, and he quickly thought on his feet for an answer. During this mental scramble, n00b took notice of Stormie’s yellow bandanna before uttering “Debt Collector.” Completed unconvinced, Stormie retorted “With a weed whacker?”
“Erm… eh. Side job.” countered n00b rather proud of his answer.
“For a ten year old?” inquired Stormie still seeing through n00b’s pitiful attempt at improvising.
“Um- well… cripes.” muttered n00b who was at a loss for words. Luckily Stormie noticed n00b’s paper bag and decided he no longer wished to hear n00b’s answer.

“’Ey now, hold on a second. I know what you’re looking for from Rob. I swear to th’ big man upstairs, if I catch you with any so-called ‘purchased goods’, I’ll- "
“Rambo.”
“What? Whaddyah mean Rambo?”
“I couldn’t quite place my finger on it, but then I saw the knife and now its all laser to me. Yeah man, you look like Rambo. Anybody ever tells you that?” n00b rambled out as he unknowingly saved himself from hearing what could have been a gruesome account.
“Uh… no. Not really, in fact I mostly get Jazz Ja-Fugghedaboudit. Look, just stay away from Robin y’hear me?” Stormie angrily stated as he shut the door.

“How can you look like a music genre?” n00b wondered aloud in a bit of confusion and awe. That was when he noticed some awfully loud rustling coming from the nearby bushes.