actually, i think it's that rage inside me that always wants to get out yet i rarely ever let it out, and so i think of better ways to kill people i've learned to live with blades and guns at an early age (at 4 yrs. old, my dad taught me about weapons ), so weapons do not really bother me that much, they just kinda lay around my computer, in case i hear some wierd noise outside that sounds like some person trying to break in. then i grab the gun and mechette my dad said he'd teach me metalworking and forging possibly over the summer, so i can forge my own blades. *thinks of all the cash he can make from custom blades*