Uhhh, let's see...... you were murdered by a former Taverner who abandoned everything he had ever done, that got a job as a super hero. You then were turned cute, had tea with the second assistant costume designer's coffee holder of the Brady Bunch, vowed to destroy him, summoned an amazingly evil force in disguise as an amazingly cute genie.

How is that similar?


Unknown Rabbit stared at the screen numbly, except for the parts which had feeling. He was sure he had watched the entire series at least ten times by now, and the episode "One Of Our Dogs Is Missing" was getting Really old. As the ending neared, he found himself wishing the dog didn't save Judy from the giant. Then another jolt of the intellect depriving gasses hit him, and his intellegence ebbed away again, and he was sobbing as it looked like Judy would die.

GenEX glared around at the milling crowd, most of whom weren't looking at him. "All the rest of you liked my song, right? Just like My Story, it's the most fabulous thing ever, right?"
This started one of the more intelligent rabbits off on an essay which went something like "Well, actually, it's really impossible for any one thing to be the most fabulous thing ever, as beauty and fabulousisem are only in the eyes and ears of the beholder, which means that whatever one person make think is the most fabulous thing ever, another person shall disagree with, so-" until the big bad tornado huffed and puffed and soared him away to Never-Never Land where he fell in with Peter Pan and never really regretted having being soared away from the War Tavern.
"Now look here," said the mysterious red eyed figure, still roaming the floor. "I didn't come here as a mysterious figure that doubles as a plot device just to be ignored in favor of some rabbit who likes singing and conjuring tornados!"
"Oh, right." said someone, and the attention returned to the mysterious figure.
"What do you want here?" asked Slayer, in a "if you're here to cause trouble, get out" tone of voice.
"And who are you?" asked Ducky, in a "can't get any rest" voice.
"Whee! Stars!" cried BBoy, in a "I'm about to pass out on the floor" voice.
"And what is the difference between a Raven and a Writing Desk?" asked GenEX, in a "you're diverting attention from my absolute wonderfulness" voice.
"I shall answer your questions in reverse order, in order to make me look weird. The difference is that Ravens are best destroyed with Jazz's Uppercutt, while Writing Desks are best destroyed with Spaz's Sidekick. I can do nothing about your alchoholic problem. I am Vampyra Smurferama. AND I VANT TO SUCK YOU BLOOD!"
At this point, the mysterious figure shed its concealing garmints. A small, blue, blonde, fanged creature stood there in elevator shoes. It seemed to be selecting.
There was a brief silence.
A drunk snorted.
Blacksheep burst out laughing, and started mutilating the table with her fist, until Ducky told her to be quiet, and keep her tray table up.
"And now, it's time for, CANNIBAL FEUD!" cried Beauman, in a "it might work, so I'll try it" voice.
"With us today, from unknown regions of Pennsylvania-" cried Beauman, in a "game show" voice.
"That's TRANsylvania!" interjected Vampyra Smurferama, in a "what's with all the definition of our voices?" voice.
"-of Transylvania, is Vampyra Smurferama. And competing against her today will be....." Beauman got out this crane thing, and started reaching around through the crowd... until it dropped, and grabbed "Fquist! This looks to be an interesting match of Cannibal Feud, folks!
"I don't want to play!" cried Fquist, squirming in the grasp of the crane thing. "Put me down this minute, or I'll call my agent and sue the lot of you!"
"You want to be put down? Oh, ok." said Beauman, and deposited Fquist in the Cannibal Feud arena. A small "Enter Only" door opened, preventing Fquist from running out it, and Vampyra Smurferama entered with a "I'm going to be famous!" attitude.
"Ready....... GO!" cried Beauman, and Fquist ran in rectangles around the ring, with the Vampire Smurf in hot persuit. GenEX tried singing another song, but the attention was diverted, so he gave up.

Mindlessly watching the four space hippies try to destroy the Robinsons, Unknown Rabbit numbly felt his last bit of brain slip away from him. All was just a fleeting scene of various colors to him now, with no longer any meaning. A stream of what had formally been identified as grey swooped past, and he heard a noise. Not that he knew what hearing was. He sat there still, unmoving, eyes locked on the television that he no longer knew what it was. The endless reruns flew by, unknown to his barely existential consciousness. And then he felt another jolt of the intelligence depriving gas..... and his mind wrapped around somehow. He had become one of those super geniuses you always read about in insane stories. And naturally he was able to get loose. Using his newly developed psychic powers, he was able to slip out between the bonds ensnaring him. His injuries were oddly healed.. how long had he lain in that chair? Days? Monthes? Years? He stiffly made his way out of the room, though not fast enough to avoid another jolt of the gas, depriving him of the newly found psychic powers. But his genius was still considerable.

"Well, Fquist has put up a good sprint, making you wonder why he didn't enter in the olympics, but it looks like he's getting tired. We should see the main fight any time now, folks.."
There were a few ragged cheers, and Ducky brushed a few of the cobwebs out of her hair. GenEX had long since run out of fascinating songs, but as nobody had listened to them, he could use them again later with no fear of repitition.
Fquist leaned against the side, puffing. Vampyra, her fangs glistening in Spring's early light (just remember that she arrived on January First), headed slowly towards him. Fquist tried to get away, but his muscles were highly overtaxed, and he fell to the floor, gasping.
"Or maybe not! Well, it looks like Vampyra is going to take the first bite soon.."
As promised, the Smurf bent down, fangs ready, and sunk them into Fquist's neck a little. There was an unusual effect. Contrary to expectations, Fquist had not become another vampire.

Instead, he had become..

the almost equally dreaded....

FrankenQuist's monster. Slow and teetery, the former landlord bumped along to the opposite side, where he crashed through the wall. Vampyra Smurferama followed, cackling a little, then returned to her earlier task of what seemed to be selecting.