I still didn't catch everything so this might not fit.

Bluez passed out drinks and watched television behind the bar. If the pay wasn't so good he'd replace himself with a paper cutout and make a self-service.

Steel Talon passed out from the drinks and landed himself in his entree. When he came to all that was left was what was stuck to his head. A real shame, a real shame. Look, it's haze. Steel Talon moved to face him and found that he was eating ribs.
Had anyone put Steel Talon's missing rib dinner on a milk carton these would have matched up perfectly. Haze tried to shift away but inebriated Steel Talon's foot found his way to Haze's belly.

:Shoot, that is uncomfortable dude, ow ow ow!!: growled best he could Haze. Steel Talon's foggy mind heard shoot and he shot a good number of holes around the restaurant area.
Haze had swallowed the rib whole and he felt awful sans the pleasant feeling given to him by the steak sauce. Steel Talon felt full of anger and spite.

Then he fell asleep in his own arms. Haze left the area to his best interest.

A mild incident that no one really saw. A larger problem at hand was Dethman who had his fair share to drink and had brought his katana sword with him
(In the old stories he had one, remember?)
He practiced techniques with it to the dismay of tablesitters and lazy boys in his area. The poor tables all cut clean in half, splinters all over the floor (If you remember it was fourty inches long, bad times).

No one could really try and calm him down, and what was the problem anyways? The 'ladies' as would be called around the tavern were all so chaste Bluez had to change ladies' night to 'black wolves' night where all those lazy bums from Black wolves would come in and have reduced drink prices. Merlin founded the Tavern after all, and most especially. But he had now realized he had to reconsider this too.
Cheeze suggested 'Cheeze night' where he would get a bottomless glass but Bluez turned him down to keep 'olive garden' lawyers from arriving at the doorstep. One of the drunks suggested 'drunk night' to him, anyone who came in drunk got free drinks, but wasn't that self defeating? It sure was.
Bluez decided for now that while he could get away with full prices all the time he may as well. (***This means one of you folks should think of a drink special night for Bluez) He really made top dollar considering no one ever chronicled much of these guys leaving the War Tavern.
Television around here was awful and most of them were turned off. That one guy (GenEX)'s cats were enjoying it but who else likes those nature channels?
Bart was nearby with a new action figure series, 'poseable thumbs'.
:They bend into all sorts of shapes!: he let be known. They were like putty of his hands. They could stick together and he made a thumb-hand. That kept him busy for a good time.
There was a janitor called to the scene as there was a plot - hole in front of the door.
:I can't tell them apart they're both devoid of all continuity, logic, and more.: He really was that confused. Miss Admael didn't like that one bit and she pushed him right one bit in. It wasn't productive at all. She took out a level, a ruler, and some boards and read out a door alchemy. She added four new doors, and without even using the wood, they turned out to be the automatic glass ones and one revolving door. The drunks and children began playing with them immediately. If they were manmade they would have shortcircuited rather soon.

(Rocky)
Stuff is good. ^_^'