"You didn't stop them!" Pop was screaming, tearing his hair and throwing it at them. "What Mom will say, after she gets back from shopping for ultra indestructible shielding materials that double as explosive deactivators, I don't know!"
"Ultra indestructible shielding materials... that double as explosive deactivators?" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, slowly. "I have some of those in my backpack.." he was beginning, when he realized that they were exactly what they could have used. So did Pop, apparently, as he started beating on BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ with both fists, all joviality forgotten in the face of disaster.
"Hey, guys, look." said Tyf, pointing at the store. "I think it's about to blow." she added, as the store blew up. Pop burst into tears and fell sobbing to the ground, while the 'Taverners surveyed the wreckage with distaste. Sadly, the eViL aRmY had apparently gotten out of the store through the back exit, as they seemed relatively intact in their numbers, and were heading towards the group.
"This isn't good." observed Speedy.
"True." said the muddy rabbit, shaking his head. "Shall we run?"
"By all means."
"After you."
And so they all ran away from the eViL aRmY, who were still in the process of heading towards the group.
After a little while, the 'Taverners (and Pop) came to a large rocky cliff face, which extended far in every direction, with a tunnel etched out in it.
"Let's go in the tunnel." said Propulsion, wisely, so they did. Unfortunately, after not too long, the tunnel ended abruptly, and the eViL aRmY had caught them.
"This tunnel is narrow enough, I think we can make a stand." said Speedy, in a tone that oozed courage. So they got into their positions, with their weapons that hadn't quite worked before, except Pop, who was huddled mournfully in a corner.
"Fire one!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and the weapons all fired with a resounding "Boop". An exploding chicken got a lead soldier in the face, and he fell over from the impact. The soldiers behind him tripped over his prostrate body, which was then repeated with the soldiers behind, until the entire army was tipped over like dominos.
The magnetic pulse gun began firing reverse pulses, and all the metal equipment of the eViL aRmY started straining to get off with enough force that some of the soldiers were lifted up into the air, which sadly allowed the soldiers that had previously been underneath them to get up.
The automatic weaponry had much less effect, as Kovu had equipped his troops with something that made it have much less effect, for some reason.
"Fire two!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. More chickens and magnetic pulses fired, and the army got a bit immobilized.
"This is ridiculous!" cried one of the commanding officers, deciding it was ridiculous. "This small band can not possibly defeat us! On with the gas masks!"
And so, the army suddenly had gas masks upon their faces, due to some scientific method undoubtedly, and the tunnel was filled with gas. The next thing the 'Taverners (not to mention Pop) knew was being lined up against a wall, with the entire army pointing various weapons at them.
"Ready, aim..." the commanding officer who had ordered the gas masking was beginning, when a message from Kovu came into the ears of all the soldiers. "No, you fools! Don't kill them! Can you not imagine what consequences that would have to the plot? Stun them, and put them in jail somewhere, and try not to leave all the tools they need to escape laying next to them!"
"Yes sir." said the commanding officer, and there was a loud click as all the weapons switched to "Stun."
"Ready...." began the commanding officer.
"Well, I guess we're pretty much done for now.." said Tyf, sadly, looking at the large array of personel waiting to shoot at them.
"Yeah..." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after thinking about it. "There is one thing that could save us, but we have no way of getting it to happen.. even if it weren't so incredibly unlikely."
"Aim....."
"There's a way of getting out of this situation?" asked Speedy, perking up. "Tell it! We're extremely resourceful, you know."
"Well, ok." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "It's almost impossible, though. It would require, due to a flaw in the laws of physics, a quantum wormhole appearing out of nowhere, and all the eViL aRmY being sucked into it to somewhere where they can't do any harm, before they can shoot us.
"Yeah.." said the irish rabbit, losing hope again, "I see your point. That is pretty impossible."
"FIRE!" cried the commanding officer, just as due to a flaw in the laws of physics, a quantum wormhole appeared out of nowhere, sucked the entire eViL aRmY into it to somewhere where they couldn't do any harm, before the 'Taverners (and Pop) could be shot. Everyone looked at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ accusingly, who decided against commenting on the situation.

"This can not be!" cried Kovu, in a pit of passion, throwing a Vase at the viewscreen which had shown him the utter defeat of the entire eViL aRmY (tm and patent defending to the death). "All my plans for taking over the world are, as previous stated, null of void! All I have left is an array of weird weapons, a eViL PiKe (tm and patent blah blah blah. You're not really reading this, are you?), a few highish ranking officers and a former bartender!"
"It could be worse." said Slayer, from a easychair, where he was sitting. He had never been entirely convinced he was doing the right thing, so he wasn't sure if he was glad or unhappy that the eViL aRmY (you know the drill) had been defeated. "At least you still have all those weird weapons, and.."
"Shut up." said Kovu, moodily. "I must ponder our tactical situation and determine how best to destroy this attempt to recreate the War Tavern!"
"But I was only.."
"Shut up."
"Because, you see.."
"Shut up."
"I was thinking.."
"Shut up!"
"that maybe you could.."
"Be quiet!!"
"usethatfakecheappricedhardwarestorebdecoyboobytrap Icreatedespeciallyforthispurpose?" Slayer finished, all in a rush, so as not to be interrupted again. But evidently the message had gotten through, as Kovu had stopped pacing, and was standing there with an evil look in his eye. "Yes! That's it! General Genuflector?"
"Sir."
"Utilize the fake cheap priced hardware store decoy booby trap!"

Even though he had been saved from being shot and sent to jail by a flaw in the laws of physics, Pop still remained cold and ungracious to the 'Taverners, and even went so far as to not thank BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ for having salvaged a single bent nail from his hardware store. So it was, that when the party stopped for the night, Pop made BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and Ducky (as it was fixed in his mind it was all their fault) go out and scout around before they went to bed. Being condescending sorts, they did.
"Hey, look Ducky, what's that off in the distance?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after they had scouted around a bit.
"Hmmm... hard to say." she said, after looking in the direction indicated, which was fortunately the direction BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had seen the something off in the distance. "Want to investigate?"
"Sure, why not.." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so they set off in the previously indicated direction, to find that the thingy off in the distance was a large hardware store.
"Look!" said Ducky, surprised. "It's even bigger then Pop's!"
"And cheaper prices!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, not quite knowing how he knew this. "They might even have bent nails for a third of the price!"
Ducky sighed. "Well, let's just see if we can get a War Tavern for 3,000 or less." she said, so they went up to the door, which had a sign attached to it.
"Closed - owner went to join Kovu's eViL aRmY" read BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, then made sure he had gotten it right. "Come on, Ducky, after all the trouble they gave us, surely we can just take a few materials.."
"It's still dishonest." said Ducky, resolutely. "We're buying those materials, whether you like it or not."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed, and looked around. "What's that ad on the window?" he asked, so they went and read that sign, as well.
"This month's bargain: Enough materials and of the right type to built a Tavern of War, only 3,000 Carrotian Currency!"
The two looked at eachother, and decided not to belabor the point. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ found the money, and left it on the counter, while Ducky gathered the materials.
Needless to say, all the others were reasonably overjoyed upon discovery, except Pop, though he grew quiet when he heard about the bigger and better hardware store.

"So........" said Kovu, looking from the viewscreen to Slayer, who was at a different one. "When does the booby trap start?"
"Never, from the looks of things.." he muttered. "That wasn't my booby trap hardware store they found."
Kovu stared, fear that the booby trap wouldn't work turning to anger, anger at Slayer turning to Hate, Hate leading to the dark side.. and then his eyes turned redder then usual, and he was wearing a dark cloak, and there was a red lifesaver in his hand. After discarding the fruity candy, Kovu grabbed up his eViL PiKe, which had somehow turned into a red lightsaber, instead, and jumped out a window, to somehow land nearby the 'Taverners. But not Pop, as he had ran away a little while ago, taking the single bent nail with him.
"Kovu! Wait! What are you doing?" cried Slayer's voice. Apparently, Slayer had also jumped out the window, to land by Kovu.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" snapped Kovu, glaring at Slayer. "I'm going to Wipe them out. All of them."
"You can't do that!" gasped Slayer, drawing back. "I'm sure it's heavily copyrighted by someone else!"
"Well, that's just too bad!" cried Kovu, and ignited the lightsaber. With a "Mwahahahaha!", he began running with short hops towards the encampment of the 'Taverners. Slayer, after consulting his book of "what to do in a crisis", ran after him, afraid someone might get hurt from all this, and that it wouldn't be the pile of construction materials that miraculously had only cost 3,000 Carrotian Currency.