"Eep." said Batty Buddy, faintly, and hid behind a large 3D rock.
"You can't desert us now!" cried BBoy, looking over his shoulder, at the same time thinking it was probably a very bad idea to turn his back in any way to the lizards. "You've got all the experiance with fighting big, yellow lizards!"
"Yes.. but these ones don't seem disposed to juggling, even if they did have big rocks on their heads. Go ahead without me, this activates my Giantevil3Dlizardophobia or something."

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ considered mentioning there was no such thing as Giantevil3Dlizardophobia, but the lizards had begun advancing, arms swinging around dangerously, and he decided it was not the best time for scientific corrections. "This always worked in Jazz 2" he said, confidently, and dropped a little TNT before running away. Sadly, the lizards avoided the TNT, which blew up nothing but an alchoholic doormouse, who nobody ever missed.
"Hahaha! And you thought the Future of Jazz would be all rosy, because it was 3D, didn't you?" cried the jeering voice of Dr. Epic, from astride a 3D hillock. "Well, 3D has its cons as well as pros!"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ gulped, but then Slayer stepped forth, having decided there was really little to worry about.
"Come on, you guys!" Slay cried, walking foward purposely. "We live in 3D, after all! This is no different from Cannibal Feud, other then that we get to use weapons!"
The rest of the 'Taverners looked at eachother, in wonder, then agreed he was right, and launched forth at the 3D lizards. Although a few of them, who had never really liked Cannibal Feud, stayed behind and joined Batty behind the rock, which was bigger then it had looked at first. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had climbed astride a different rock, and was now commentating with all the ease of a commentator.
"And the match has begun! There's Slayer, gnawing at a lizard's toe, and BBoy's helping him near the head.. Ooh, daring attack there from Hesheit, but.. ouch, that must hurt. Oh! For those of you who want a True show, divert your attention over there to the corner, where Dr. Epic has been accosted by Cobra, and is being severely throttled for the delay in our journey.. I never knew an arm could bend that way... and it's Kovu, Kovu with the ball, and he's thrown it right up that lizard's nose! And the lizard is stumbling about in pain, which is alot easier in 3D, but look! A superb use of Admin powers there by Derby, or 'Hatman' to those of you call him that, the lizard's down and edited! That leaves three, three giant bezerk 3D lizards.. ow, nasty hit on Bartman there.. and he's out of the game! Nice work from Admael with the stretcher.. and it's Dethman, with his rilly cool sword, and there's another lizard down! The ball's been retrieved by DDay, and he's throwing it at the third lizard.. no, he missed! And it's Tyf, Tyf with the ball in her face, yes, she's holding up a white flag with 'SSF' written on it! It looks like Tyf's disqualified.. And over there, the fourth lizard is hard pressed to remain upright, Speedy and Rocky have teamed up on it with the chicken gun, how did they get it out of my backpack without my noticing, and the fourth lizard's down! One left, and the 'Taverners are converging on it.. he's been tackled and he's on the ground, and there's a writhing mass of 'Taverners on top.. but no, he's getting up! This one's not giving up easily.. oho, what's Dr. Epic up to? He seems to have regained his senses, and he's edging over to that machine.. and the third lizard's down! Excellent double play there with the humongous mallet by Fire Sword and Fquist.... and the 'Taverners win! Dr. Epic appeared to be going to retaliate, but Ducky spotted him, and he's gotten a good throttling with her Moderator TwiG! The game is over!"

The 'Taverners congregated, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ getting down from the rock, and the lurkers unlurking. The opposing side was most severely trounced, and there were only a few injuries on their side. Tyf had a nasty bruise on her face, Hesheit's left arm was broken, Bartman had a severe lump on his head, and Cobra had a bloody nose, but other then that and a few scrapes and cuts here and there, they had emerged unscathed.
"So, does that bode well or ill for the Future of Jazz?" asked Ducky, musingly, folding up the Chicken gun and returning it to BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's backpack.
"I'm sure it depends on how you look at it." said Unknown, dryly. "On the one hand, it could mean we'll have some great battles. On the other hand, it could mean JJ3 will be beaten within an inch of its life, and will never see the light of day."
"Or it could be a completely unrelated incident." said Dethman, wincing as Admael applied a small poultice to a cut on his arm. "We should probably put Dr. Epic somewhere safe, or we'll have to go through this again on the way back."
"And that could endanger the pie." put in Hesheit, feebly. "You know, maybe I should go back. I'm little use as a fighter at the moment, and if someone comes to the War Tavern while we're gone, there should be someone to bartend."
"It is your decision." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "I personally agree with your statement, but let that not alter your decision."
"Oh, everyone stop being so somber!" cried Defalcon. "We just won a great battle, even if the Jedi could have done better!"
So they all set out once more cheerfully, with the exception of Hesheit, who chose to return to the War Tavern. Steel offered to help him/her/it back, saying he would then catch up afterwards, but Hesheit declined, waving his/her/its free hand in protest. Dr. Epic was sent through a random plothole, courtesy of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so they probably wouldn't have to worry about him again.

Soon afterwards, the intrepid PIE seekers found themselves in the the land of Technical Help. It was a long stretch of barren land, with various computer parts strewn about as a subsitute for scenery.
"Seems easy enough." said Kovu, confidently, so they continued walking. After a time, they saw the sign "Welcome to Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" in the distance.
"That was no trouble at all!" said Ducky, in wonder. But they were suddenly blocked as a wall appeared from nowhere, "Error connecting to List Servers." written on it in big white letters.