This is the story of a rabbit. A “moderately insane”, gray rabbit who tragically lost an ear, arm, and leg somewhere along the line. This is the story of his adventures through the four islands surrounding Placespot, his journey to defeat a mysterious dreadlord known only as “Blackraptor”, and his ongoing quest to get into a particular sorceress’s ever-decreasing amount of clothing. This is the story of the challenges he faced, the puzzles he solved, the battles he won, and all the random stuff he found on the way (and usually chose to take with him).
I am not this rabbit. In fact, the rabbit isn’t even in the story at this point, because at the time I was on my way to rescue him.
My name is Shuriken. Where this story starts, we were just on our way to defeat an evil demon named Unfooruman in order to save our imprisoned allies and get off this particularly godforsaken island.
Unfooruman’s sworn enemy was an elderly archmage named Fooruman. Fooruman was a pale, thin man with a long gray beard and purple dress (allegedly made from “the finest stale bread”). Years ago, Unfooruman had overthrown Fooruman and taken control of this island. We had never asked the source of the hostilities, though one can assume it has something to do with Unfooruman having the same name, only with an “un” prefix. The archmage Fooruman had been traveling with us to fight Unfooruman, though we had recently gotten separated. The old man’s whereabouts were unknown.
After being separated from Fooruman, my only ally in Unfooruman’s lair was Leetzan (the proper spelling is something like L-three-three-T-Z-four-N, I hear). She was a peculiar creature, teal-skinned with a serpent-like lower half. Her eyes were blank white and slightly luminous, though she wore yellow-tinted contact lenses. Apart from the fact she was essentially blind without the contacts, she seemed to wear them so her gaze did not look as ominous.
Leetzan was skilled. More than she’d take credit for, really. In addition to being a computer hacker, Leetzan was both a summoner and a hypnotist. Additionally, she had some knowledge of a rare skill known as “glitching”. More on that later in the story.
I stepped through the door into yet another dank hallway, katana drawn slightly. Leetzan slithered in past me, a whip curled around her arm. She wasn’t particularly good at using it, but she seemed to like it more than other weapons. Maybe there was a bit of intimidation factor in a half-snake girl with a whip. Personally, I thought she’d be more intimidating if she just used clear contacts. Leetzan had a brilliant mind, albeit a bit illogical at times. Determining there was no danger, we both silently walked (or slithered) the rest of the way through the door. Neither of us was particularly conversational, you could say.
The man with the CD player walked in behind us. He worked here. His job was simple: he was Unfooruman’s sound system. Follow adventurers around, play music to add to the mood. I had a feeling there was a lot of people behind-the scenes here (you know, hang fake cobwebs, feed the rats, et cetera). Truth be told, the whole dungeon theme of this evil lair was extremely overdone. It’s not that the place wasn’t dangerous; the needless commercialization just added insult to injury.
As usual, there was a tall, overly dramatized wooden door at the end of this hallway. This time, two more doors were against the left wall, each with a sign hanging on it. I walked up to one to see what sort of cryptic advice or warning it had for me.

The female equivalent hung on the other door. I stared at the sign darkly. It stared back. I wasn’t sure I believed all this stuff about “save points”, but their presence in general tended to be a sign of bad things to come. Leetzan cast me a grave look, implying the same thought was going through her mind. I glanced towards the man with the CD player for a visual cue as to what was coming, but his face was buried in a thick book (which I recognized from the cover as author N. Z. Sterling’s popular psychological and spiritual analysis Scotch Tape: Friend or Foe?).
Leetzan broke the awkward silence. “So,” she said, turning from the two save point doors to the large doorway “think this is it?”
“We thought that many times already,” I responded. A shot a glance back at the man with the CD player looking for an answer, but he was still reading intently. Leetzan, silently hoping I had a better idea of what was coming than her, quietly awaited my next move.

… aaaand the question this thread is renown for: What should Shuriken do now?