Que Passa!!!!

(HA... Thought I would rhyme Seven with Heaven, didn't you...)

Chapter 7:
Hasslevania


"Ok... So how does this badly-named piece of equipment work, anyway?"
"Simple: I just point it at the castle and push this button."
The Holomap-Buddy shook for a few seconds before producing:

A holographic image of Jazz's skeleton and digestive track.

"Um... Oops- had the silly thing facing the wrong way."
Jazz sheepishly turned the machine over and pushed the button again. This time, the desired castle hologram came into focus.
"Hmmm... Mammalian-repelling force feild?... Looks like SOMEBODY'S been getting ideas from reruns of 'Bucky O'Hare'..." "WHAT kind of force field?" "Well, in laymans terms, anything with fur that touches that door gets pushed back with a repelling force equal to that of getting hit with a wrecking ball the size of Texas. Fortuantly, it only seems to be effecting the door..." "Oh... Is THAT all?" Spaz muttered happily. Before anyone could stop him he ran up to the door.

"Knock knock..." said Spaz at the top of his lungs.
"What's he doing?" the queen whispered to Eva. "Shhh... It may be hard to believe before you really get to know him, but Spaz knows what he's doing... I think..."
"Uh... yah- whatta youse want?"
"Intergallactic Delivery Services. We have a box of chocolate-covered tadpoles for a Mr... Devan Shell."
"Just put it next to the door."
"Oh, I'm sorry sir but you have to sign for it."
>"Don't do it ya maroon... Boss said not to open the door for ANY REASON..."<
>"Um... Yeah, but... Boss sure does like his snack foods..."<
The door opened and a Doofyguard stuck his head out... "Ok... Where do I-"

WHUMP!!!!

"Lets see..." After an extensive search, Devan had finally located the "Code of Carrotus", the official book of rules, laws, and rights for the entire planet. Unfortunately, he had also gotten his hands on a bottle of white-out and a crayon. "How many G's in the words 'Public Flogging'- two or three?"
"Um... Boss?..."
"Man... THIS is the GOOD life."
"Boooosss..."
"I mean- just think about it: How are those dim-witted rabbits going to stop me now, when they can't even get through the front door. HAHAHAHAHA..."
"-Boss... I hate to tell you but, they DID get in the front door."
"...HAHAHAHAhahaha...............!!!!!............. .........." Devan ran to the window just in time to see Spaz ushering in the rest of the rabbits past the unconcious guards.
"... Well.......That's STILL no reason to panic... Besides even if they can get through that gauntlet of boobie traps I set, I have a fool-proof plan for stopping them in their tracks!"
"Um... isn't that the same thing you said LAST time, boss?"
"Hmm... good point... Well, I guess it's just like mother always said..."
"You mean; 'If you mutate the dog one more time, you're grounded'?"
"No! 'It never hurts to have more then one fiendish plan'. Pass me my cell phone."
The lizard practically fell over himself in an attempt to comply. Taking the phone from his loyal assistant, Devan tapped out a number and put the phone to his ear... er...ear hole... um... you know- whatever it is turtles use to listen...
"Start talking..."
"Hi ya, old buddy."
"Oh great... YOU again... Let me guess; bad hare day?"
"Well... yeah, but..."
"NO!"
"Come on, I'm so close to actually ruling this pathetic planet! I just have a... few loose ends."
"Yeah- a big green loose end with the initials J.J."
"Um... Yeah- him and... others..."
"WHAT?!? No dice, wormbreath- that rabbit is bad news by HIMSELF! You can forget about him and 'others'. I had an UNTARNISHED record before my fight with him, and now it's had a big ugly scar on it for nearly 10 years... 10 YEARS- you have ANY clue how something like that can tear at a guy's mind? As we say in the business: 'go find yourself another gullible cretin.'!"
"But I have a fool-proof plan this time..."
"Good for you- now BUG OFF BUCKO!"
"Look, you get rid of that rabbit once and for all, and you can name you OWN price. Heck- if you fail, I'll STILL pay you your usual rates. And THAT'S my FINAL offer."
"...Hmmm... It's against my better judgment but... You got yourself a deal... Boss."

What is Devan's new "Fool-proof" plan, and how will it fail miserably this time? How long will I keep up the lame "Public Flogging" joke in my stories? More importantly: who is this mysterious character Devan has doing his dirty work? Oh please, you should know me well enough to know who my favorite Jazz Jackrabbit villain was...

To be continued in chapter 8:
House Creeping