Yes, I've written something. And I realized this is actually the first time I have ever written about actual game characters; all my other stories have been about forum members or fictional furries. So I think that's kind of cool.
It's just a short, impromptu story, not very accurate or detailed or exciting, I just did it for fun. I hope you get some enjoyment from it.

Okay, now, disclaimers.
First: My apologies to Slay, as I know I should be working on THAT story, but I started this a long long time ago and I'm only just now deciding to finish up the ending and post it.

Second: I am a huge, huge Razz fan, and I just wanted to write a little fanfic about him. I have taken several very broad artistic liscenses which I shall forthwith apologize for:

Yes, I have shamelessly made myself his unnamed girlfriend. Come on, we can all dream.

I know that Razz is Eva's cousin. But initially, when writing this story, I wrote Razz as a Jackrabbit brother, because it fit a lot easier with the storyline, and he's always felt like one of the brothers to me, and because I didn't want all kinds of inevitable star-crossed lover angst that would occur between him and Lori if he wasn't her brother. I think the version with Razz as a brother is better than this one, but I did decide to change it back to him being a cousin at the last minute even though it feels painfully like a Rogue/Wolverine kind of affair. Thus, I may have left some references in the story to him being a brother and its just because my proofreading was shoddy, if not nonexistant.

Third: This is crossposted in Lori Central, because I don't think anything ever happens there, and this is actually about her.

So, without further ado, I have carefully selected the lamest name I could come up with for this story:

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Razz MaTazz and the Lizard Princess of Medivo
(being the Long and Factually Inaccurate Depiction of the Origin of the Long-Lost Jackrabbit Sister)


The year is 2788. Jazz is King and is gallantly leading his people to a slow but steady victory in the galactic war.
Havoc is wreaked throughout the galaxy.
Dethman is still reigning mercenary, at the height of his power beside his friends.
Battle rages.
It was a dark and stormy night.


Thick rain poured down on Razz's back, drenching his long blue fur and plastering his ears flat. His feet were sore and muddy, damp through the scuffed and ragged combat boots, and his blaster was empty. Dashing across a flat muddy stretch, Razz hunkered down behind an empty chemical tank and squinted through the sheets of rain, trying to make some sense of the foggy grey shapes. The bandana tied around his forehead did nothing to keep the water out of his eyes and he swiped at them, knowing he wouldn't be able to see any better through the deluge than if he hadn't lost his glasses.
Razz didn't know why his girlfriend chose to live on Medivo; he'd visited the planet before, with her, and wasn't suprised by the weather now, but this wasn't inspiring any desire in him to live in the sodden world.
His communicator had long since ceased to work, fizzled out by wetness. Razz knew he was on his own, tramping through milennia's worth of ancient ruins against a constantly cloudy sky, authority sure to believe him dead by now, but he was unfazed. There was only one thought in his mind: the unrecognizable face of a golden-furred rabbit, waiting out in that damp expanse somewhere for him to find her.


Razz MaTazz was eighteen years old and his oldest, and favourite, cousin, Eva Yrlahng had just taken the Carrotian throne when he graduated from the Military Academy on Carrotus. He was highest ranking in his class and immediately drafted, but his bad vision kept him out of combat and within a few years of typing documents at headquarters, the war was over, thanks to the heroics of one Jazz Jackrabbit and his younger brother. Spaz wasn't much in the brains department but was a deadly aim with a weapon, and managed to score a few kills while Jazz saved the royal family. It wasn't long after that Razz recieved a wedding invitation from Eva. Smitten by his heroics, the young Queen fell in love with Jazz and the two were married. Razz had always been a welcome addition to castle life and with the prescence of the Jackrabbits, he became close friends with the brothers, who were four and eight years younger than himself, and came to know them well. Like Razz himself, the Jackrabbit brothers' had been orphaned about five years before,their parents, Jazz senior and Jessamine Jackrabbit, dying in a guerilla L'zrd attack in a suburb of Carrotus City, their home burned and the bodies charred. L'zrds were known for their strong religious beliefs and the violence resulting from them. The band of amateur renegade L'zrds had been caught and executed accordingly by Carrotian military, which all the Jackrabbit brothers later became a part of, attending the same academy as Razz.
Razz faded into the background not long after the wedding, content with the occasional family holiday(they grew more and more sparse as the years passed) and his groundbreaking work in biological engineering. He accepted a job with the Galactic intelligence agency, working in outlying combat zones with biological and organic weaponry. Although Razz was strictly engineering and it was by far his strongest facet, as he was often required to accompany field missions his supervisors on the GIA board of directors soon realized his capacities as a warrior despite his visual handicaps and his exceptional skills as a pilot, which he had trained extensively for in military academy. "It's nothing a good pair of contacts can't resolve!" they bickered among themselves. Against Carrotian ordnance, and Razz's preferences, the GIA wrote Razz a new identity so they could use his abilities in warfare. It was there, the base of his studies located in the autumnal Diamondus Warzone, that he met his girlfriend, a little grey-furred, native Medivan lop, bartender of the 'Tavern in Diamondus. He was 28.
Two years later, the two were engaged; the wedding was planned for the following October, the warmest month on windy Diamondus.
It was in August that Razz was deployed off Diamondus for the first time in many years, but it wasn't from the GIA that he first learned about the hitherto unknown L'zrd princess, Larh'ii, he was eventually sent to obtain. It wasn't even from Jazz, who, with the aid of his position as adored monarch, had eyes and ears places most intelligences had never even heard of. It was in the Tavern, Razz recalled, on a night much like the one he found himself in now- rain-soaked, windy, and dangerous.
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"The usual, darling?" her green eyes danced delightedly at Razz, who smiled in response and leaned out of his corner to kiss his fiancee on the cheek.
"That would be great." The opaque yellowgreen, anise-scented beverage shimmered as she louched the absente into a tall thin glass.
Razz had brought with him a sheaf of papers thick with crumpling and stained from spilled coffee, planning on getting some work done at the Tavern while he waited for his girlfriend to close the bar. They were slightly damp from the driving rain outside, which even now Razz could hear howling and pounding the rattling windows with branches and the perpetually falling leaves.
The Tavern was particularly crowded tonight, maybe the dismal weather brought everyone out for some company. It was also the only building left in the district- if you could call it that, as the Tavern was located off the road deep in the forest- which still served most species. The majority of public houses on the planet had a sign posted dictating the denominations discriminated against- a practice Razz opposed, but understood and was willing to tolerate. Petty feuds between patrons could cause more than a small amount of damage and could often escalate into all out brawls. Razz's girlfriend was not the owner of this Tavern, but she ran it, and she still allowed customers to come and go as they please. Things she didn't want to tolerate were dealt with by her posse of waitstaff, all burly, intimidating warriors of varying species, and they ensured fights seldom occured again. At the bar tonight, Razz could see the familiar figures of Merlin and Wakeman, and perhaps that well-shrouded rabbit with his back to Razz was even Buster, joking casually with the slight bartender but still keeping a casual eye out for evildoers.