I think it's because the comments aren't constructive; most comments are, as said, along the lines of 'w00t great chapter!' What I'm after is criticism, what I did right, what I did wrong, how I can improve things and such. I'd do comments like that but I don't feel qualified to critique other's writing.


*Chapter 17: Contrasts*

The gun lay in two pieces, neatly cut in half, one still being held by the rather surprised rabbit that had hefted it. Erst had moved fast, and silently, there was a brief pause as the group considered their next move. Erst didn't give them long enough, a deceptively slow kick caused the first rabbit to double over, the second was taken out by a sold punch to the jaw, and the third, unexpectedly, was downed just before firing by Trixi smashing a large old, and rather heavy bottle over his head. She then bent down and rifled through their pockets.

Schrock stared at the scene while everything settled into place. He wasn't quite used to this level of excitement and therefore his mind took that much longer to accept what had just happened. He ate another cigarette. "Erst, I think you can keep that sword for the time being and umm, Tr- uh, what do they call you anyway?" Trixi looked up from the wallet she was leafing through with the look of someone who's been caught stealing from the cookie jar. "Wha-? Um, mostly 'Hey you' or 'Rabbit' I don't think I get addressed personally much." Schrock sighed. "Right, well, whatever. Err, what are you doing to him now?" Trixi didn't look up from where she was crouched over the prone figure. "If he doesn't have enough cash or credit cards to make this worthwhile then at least I can take something the dentists will pay good money for, and if you're giving me some sort of look stop it now; I've got to pay my bills like anyone else."

Schrock turned away and went back inside, deep down he knew that sooner or later something like this would happen again, you just couldn't trust this place, as soon as you found something enjoyable it'd dump so much crud on you, you could sell yourself as fertilizer. He went back to the accounts, accounts were easy, they just sat back and got worked out, no arguments or difficulties whatsoever. Outside Trixi continued her pilfering. "Okay, what do we have here Mr... Quist... Dear lord! Does nobody carry cash these days? Okay then, open wide, this is really gonna hurt..."

* * *

Marco sat back and sipped his coffee; it was stone cold, figured. Maybe there was a donut left- no, apparently there wasn't. He sat back again and twiddled his fingers. (-), there was never anything to do in the afternoons. He looked out the window at his partner who was lying half asleep under a tree. Technically it wasn't any way to catch criminals, but then again, there were none to catch this far from civilization. To compensate they'd been given a large patch of countryside to patrol, but that still didn't change anything. He stepped out of the car and headed toward his prone partner, he could amuse himself by placing various items of vegetation upon her sleeping person and taking a picture; he averaged about two a month, and they always got a giggle on the precinct, Sidera mustn't mind, otherwise why would she let him do it so often? The roads out here were terrible, potholes everywhere he mused, picking himself up from a sprawled position. They really sh- (*!)

Marco picked himself up from the muddy ditch he'd flung himself into and watched the hoverboards zoom into the distance. Sidera was up and looking around wildly, Marco yelled at her to get into the car; there was no way they'd been doing the legal limit, they didn't look like they had licenses and they'd tried to run him down, which was a big mistake. The years of active duty were burned away under the adrenalin and he executed a perfect flying leap into the car, suffering only a nicked ear. Sidera was already in and buckled up, and seconds later they were speeding after the group, sirens blaring.

Wit looked disdainfully at the fresh green countryside and spat, where it landed the grass died. "Geez, all this waiting and planning and stuff and all we get to do is ride a few hundred miles? It's never as spectacular as you imagine, I mean, there's all the fun afterwards; but I wish the actual duty was more impressive!" There was a blaring behind them as a police car started to gain on them; Red gave the others an almost pleading look. "Please can I handle this one? Please?" Wit grunted "Why? You've had your fun, let me handle this!" There was a pause, then the pursuing car started to cruise to a halt, its siren spluttering to a slow halt; various pieces fell off of it, the windscreen cracked and its two occupants sprawled onto the road, unconscious. Red scowled "You guys have all the fun!"

Ok ... criticism. I'd suggest line breaks each time someone new speaks, or something new happens; it helps break up the paragraph blocks and makes it easier to keep track of what's going on. I'd also suggest adding more detail into your writing. For example:

Originally Posted by DD

Marco picked himself up from the muddy ditch he'd flung himself into and watched the hoverboards zoom into the distance.

Your sentence is very clear and straightforward, but lacks a lot of detail. Try this.

Marco picked himself up painfully from the muddy, overgrown ditch he'd flung himself into, and brushed dirt and water from his fur. He looked up, watching the hoverboards flash into the distance, kicking up clouds of dust and disappearing rapidly.

You can also make your chapters look a lot longer that way.
I would also watch your paragraph transitions. (I'm picking on this chapter in particular because it's the only one on my page.) It's not clear on how Marco ended up in the ditch, nor how he ended up on his face earlier. It doesn't have to be anything extended, something as brief as "a flash of reflected sunlight caught Marco's eye and he reflexively threw himself to the side. The whine of high-performance hover-craft momentarily deafened him." Otherwise, your audience ends up confused. You've explained how Marco ended up in the ditch, but what happened? Where did the hoverboards come from? And etc.

Ok, I'm done for now. And BTW, feel free to criticize other people's work, in the nicest way possible of course.

In contrast to CT, I like the way you use less words the faster things happen. Like you go into detail about the lazy afternoon the cops were having, then *snap* something happens and he subconsciously throws himself to the ground. It is good imagery. I use that tactic myself, breaking the rules poetically.

Personal preference I like detail. Not everyone's cup of tea I know.

I like detail as well, but I belive that the amount of detail you should recive should be proportional to the speed of the action. I like how, in this last chapter, DD takes her time and explains what is on the cops mind, and would have continued to keep doing that if out of nowhere something came zipping by that the cop instinctivly jumped out of the way from without thinking. The amount of detail regulates the speed of the story.

Mmmn, that's good comments! [Conflicting, but good anyway[ I shall see what I can do!



*Chapter 18: A gathering storm*

Jazz looked up from cleaning his gun and sniffed. "Huh, doesn't smell like rain, looks like it's gonna be pretty wet pretty soon though." Scratch the plans for spending the afternoon in the country with Eva then; pity too; he'd been planning it for all of three days, given his limited attention span it was practically a record. He wandered around until he found Eva, sunning herself in one of the more private courtyards. [In order to avoid getting a tan line she always sunbathed nude; three staff had been fired for accidentally coming across her, and it was pointless anyway; all that fur prevented both tanning and skin cancer, though she worried about both, ignorance is a great motivator.] "Hey Eva; sad to say the afternoon stroll is off, you'd better get inside too, looks like it's going to get pretty wet around here sooner or later. [The palace, being as it was several thousand years old, had developed eroded channels which often led to water appearing in interesting places not just during, but up to several weeks after heavy rain. There were miniature stalactites in the north tower, a permanent pond in the west wing and a temporary stream would cross the great hall, complete with fish. Granted, being made of old stone also meant that during rain the ceiling leaked almost everywhere and thus servants often got rooms with a view, and mildew.]

* * *

Trixi stared at the pile of... stuff in the corner. What it had been originally was hard to tell; years of being buried under yet more stuff, combined with a leaky water pipe had rusted and rotted them together into a strange musty mass. She poked it cautiously with a finger and regretted it instantly. "Dear Lord! Why did you have to dig up this stuff? I was happier not knowing what we had back here!" It was true; some interesting things had been dug up as Schrock chipped away at years of accumulated junk. A surprising amount had turned out to be valuable; this had been piled into a small but glittery pile in one corner, hidden rather well by the somewhat larger pile of stuff that could be pawned for something. A much, much larger pile of absolute trash had been repeatedly taken out back and burnt. [Setting fire to the neighboring building at one point, but it was easily put out, and the rabbits didn't seem to care much about smoking things around this district.]

The back room now had a surprising amount of empty space, unfortunately it exposed a floor, and in places walls, that hadn't been cleaned for quite possibly generations. Schrock knew there'd be weeks worth of work ahead, none of which he had technically been hired to do. Still it was good to have something to preoccupy oneself. Trixi had had to be shifted from her makeshift bed, but this was quite easy, she was light and hadn't woken up. [She'd been put on the junk pile and almost burnt though; fortunately she'd got up to go to the bathroom in time.]

Schrock looked up, and up, and up, at the small patch of sky visible between the two buildings he was between; anything was better than looking at the dreary graffiti stained walls around him, and noticed that it had rather quickly got cloudy. Turtles were supposed to like water, but, like most species, they disliked rain, it was cold and would slow them down, and it was very hard to dry oneself out when one has a shell on. [Contrary to popular belief, Shellian's shells were not removable; they were living tissue, though nerveless, and fused to their spines. This meant that the first yoga center to open on Shellian was out of business in six weeks.] Schrock sighed, well; at least it would be a bonus to be inside for once.

* * *

Spaz pulled himself up from the assemblage of undergrowth he had accreted about his person during his brief tumble downhill and looked up apprehensively at the small building perched very far above him, clinging to the cliff face above. That was were he was supposed to be standing guard; perhaps he could get back up before anybody noticed he was missing? There was a flutter as Kira cut a neck breaking dive into a sudden swoop, to land almost soundlessly on a nearby bush. She looked around almost apprehensively, then stared straight ahead with a glare powerful enough to melt lead. Spaz followed her gaze; he looked at the sky for a long, long time. Finally he spoke "Oooh! Pretty!"

The view from the mountain was quite impressive; on one side was clear blue sky; but a storm was moving across the land, far, far faster than wind could possibly move it. The clouds were a deep bruised blue color and were piling up into a gigantic front, miles into the atmosphere in their eagerness to fill the sky.

The riders were coming, and they bought the storm.

.

Ah, the worst chapter I have ever written methinks, please forgive me.


*Chapter 19: A little on theology*

A cold wind was blowing off the hills toward the sea. From the top of the hill the entire city sat out below, a multicolor smear across the green landscape. And in the center lay the palace, its gigantic and slightly unkempt stone towers, surrounded by the broad expanse of its even more unkempt gardens. The palace was old; small trees sprouted on old rooftops and whole ecosystems had developed over the centuries; the lower dungeons were said to be permanently flood and the source of many a royal fish dinner, whilst the upper turrets had three species of birds named after them. The group of demons looked upon the scene dismissively.

"Pretty isn't it?" said Sheldon looking at the vista. Wit smiled "You know; I helped found that city, a real work of art; especially the west quarter." Red snorted "Whatever, lets do this. Angel boy, the book, and do it properly!" Everyone turned to Vernon who wilted under their combined gaze. He couldn't believe that he of all people was doing this. He should feel proud; this was his big day after all; there were thousands of demons who'd only dreamt of doing this, and here he was, with the big four no less, well, the big three and the new guy, about to perform the greatest role a third level like him could ever hope to aspire to. Yet he really liked this place; it had good food, good drink and people you could ignore; just as he was settling in they had to pull this on him. The gaze was much harsher now; it wasn't only the hilltop group watching him now; he looked up at the sky at the ranks of waiting demons, wingtip to wingtip, and behind them... the others. Feeling like he was made of lead putty he stepped forward and removed the book from its bag.

Red scowled and looked around the landscape; looking deeper than mere matter, searching for... It. It would attempt to interfere, It had made plans, she could tell, and it wouldn't just accept defeat. It was good at warping the world around itself. But It was probably too late; all that was needed was the incantation and the final ride, then it would all be over. Red smiled; her teeth were notably more pointed now as she eased herself into a more comfortable, more ready position.

Contrary to popular belief, there are no differences between angels and demons, or at least only those like the differences between terrorists and freedom fighters. All of them were created unique, individual spirit beings, winged or wingless one, two, three or seven legged any shape or form under the sun, or any sun. Of course they could change form, but usually only for fun or to scare mortals, or more easily manipulate them. The demon Archenteron for example was rather more a small fluffy pink canid than the maggot encrusted seven foot beast he preferred to appear as. But Vernon was one of the classic breed, and as he stepped forward his clothes dissolved into a black satin robe [As a demon only black would do] and two large, very unaerodynamic wings seemed to sprout from his back. [What they had actually done was slip sideways into the normal dimensions of reality, needing neither mass nor energy demons could do as they wished.]

The glare was almost unbearable now; everyone was waiting for him, waiting for his part to be done in line with the ways of things. The book was solid iron, it gleamed a dull grey in the fresh summer day. He opened it at random, it was the right page nonetheless, it couldn't be anything otherwise. The words under his gaze writhed on the page and fought his mind with their annoyance at being read; there was probably enough power in the book to destroy a small star. This thought didn't comfort him one bit. He turned to the waiting group. "I don't have to do the name thing do I?" The look they returned told him that yes, he would. He took a deep breath and began.

Every demon or angel had some real name; for the lucky ones it was something rather random, a unique sound to befit their unique form, something like Aztaln Others were named after either virtues or vices. The big four, Famine, War, Pestilence and Death had been the originals though two of them had been removed; Famine just previously but Pestilence had quit with the advent of hospitals. But there were others; Impartiality, Deviancy and, he looked at Sheldon Prejudice, but there were very many demons out there. You could take another name, but your real name stuck with you for eternity. Vernon cleared his throat and began. "I... *sigh* I, Sexual Acts involving Pineapples speak with the authority of He who rules the world unto..."

Around him the clouds massed and the temperature fell. It was the beginning of the end.

I cen see you're puttign a lot of effort in this, I will read all of it later when I have time *evil*

*Chapter 20: Inversion, reversion, subversion*

Captain-Luteniant Will DeSchmitt stared in annoyance at his monitor as his game of 3D minesweeper was interrupted by a notification from the defense array, there was an electromagnetic disturbance on Carrotus- and it was close to the palace. From the form and intensity it was a severe storm. That was a surprise; the (-) array had actually found something useful for once. Odd that the weather systems hadn’t picked anything up though. He sent out an alert to civil defense; they could handle any possible casualties; there was nothing anyone could do about a storm except try and repair any damage afterwards. Besides, he brought down a menu, the Queen was miles away at a summer retreat discussing military matters.

* * *

Trixi looked out of the window, this was more difficult than it sounded as the only window was a small shuttered affair near the roof, just big enough to poke a head through. (This could be done as it had no glass.) At the current moment Trixi was coming to terms with the fact that it is easier to poke a head through a small aperture than pull it back. Finally she succeeded in extricating herself, falling backwards over the pile of miscellaneous junk she'd climbed for the view. She landed in a heap at the feet of a sarcastic turtle.

"Well, I see someone's having fun. The sky look any different up there or have the laws of perspective remained unaltered?" Trixi snorted. "Yeah? You really got to check this out; I think there's a fire or something!" She rushed outside, gradually followed by the two turtles. A number of rabbits were wandering the streets looking at the sky; it was no longer a normal storm.

The sky was almost as dark as dusk with brooding grey clouds, broken by the occasional flash of lightning. A cold wind whipped at the world, blowing from all directions and seeming to blow straight through people, chilling them to the bone, there was even the occasional snowflake. In the distance, toward the castle a section of the sky flamed orange and red, like a spilt sunset, a pillar of color. Betwixt the clouds there strange flashes of purple energy sparked, in some odd way they seemed to make the world darker when they flashed. The sky burned.

Schrock looked up open mouthed at the scene while the townsfolk rushed about him. "Dear Lord, that's not normal." Trixi s grabbed his arm and tugged him out of his daze. "Quick! They say the palace is on fire! We've got to help!" Groups of rabbits were already grabbing buckets and various other containers in desperation and trying to form into bucket chains. The houses of Carrotus were, despite the rabbits high technology, mainly wood and thatch, fire spread quickly and was everyone's problem. Turtles on the other hand rarely saw and rather feared flames. But Erst was already grabbing a bucket and joining the exodus toward the palace. Schrock reluctantly joined him. Trixi dashed past, stopping at a water butt to fill a pail she'd pilfered from outside a florists shop. When she saw what it was filled with, and what had been splashed liberally over her in her rush, she screamed and dropped the pail in shock, splattering her with even more blood.

Schrock stared at the red puddle, then at the well, he ignored the ducking and dashing rabbits and made his way to a tap, the liquid it produced came in a trickle, viscous and red, Shrock stared at it with growing unease.

"Oh Shelt" he said.

... and all hell breaks loose. literary.

Not yet, not yet; Derby and Fquist haven't arrived yet...


*Chapter 21: heating up*

Spaz stared at the column of color with a frown on his face. Maybe this was a natural phenim- phenonom- thing for this time of year, and maybe it wasn't, but Kira was worried and nervous, squawking discontentedly and preening her wings. If he hadn't got such an important job to do sheer curiosity would've almost drawn him to the spot. As it was he felt a strange compulsion to be there, like he'd forgotten his birthday party again. On the other hand it could take hours to get back up to the lodge and-

Suddenly Spaz noticed that the ground was no longer beneath his feet where it usually was. Nor was it at the end of his nose, or above his head. It was, in fact, rapidly falling beneath him as the landscape unfolded around him. A quiet flapping noise alerted him to the fact that he was now beneath Kira and that she was, with difficulty dragging him higher and higher into the air. In this situation most people would either panic or admire the view. Spaz had seen enough view already, and as he was normally half panicked anyway, he spent most of his time trying to pick a feather out of his teeth. "What a great idea Kira! We'll be back in no time! They won't even know we're- hey, wait! we're passing it! No! Down! Down! Wait! Go back! Help! Rabbitnap!"

* * *

Below the rapidly rising rabbit the Queen was coughing and spluttering while Admiral Ducat stared at the spilt carrot juice, prodding it with his finger. "I...I... what?" The Queen spat angrily, splattering the wall with red. "Somebody is going to hang for this! When I find out who-!" She strode across the room and kicked the door, it bent slightly, then flew off of its hinges. Spaz had disappeared. "SPAZZ JACKRABBIT! If you don't have a (-) good reason for-" A yell from above caught her attention. Curses! "ADMIRAL! We are going to sort this out NOW She strode toward the ship they'd arrived in. The admiral followed hurriedly. "Emalia! Wait! Get dressed first!"

* * *

Jazz sneezed. This was because a drop of water propelled by the wind had lodged itself right up his nose. He was not to know it, but this was the first sneeze caused by a drop of water for exactly 78 years on Carrotus. Such are the strange ways of fate. He stared at the darkening sky through the barred window. The palace was terrible with draughts when it got windy. What made it worse was that his fear of clothing [He'd got tangled in a sweater at age three and never fully recovered.] meant that he hated wrapping up warm. There was only one place to be at a time like this and that was near a nice hot fire with a cup of hot coca. [But not too close, there was nothing worse than singed fur.] Eva bustled past. "Man, the weather took a turn for the worst fast huh? They even say there are some lightning fires downtown. Good thing someone alerted the civil defense forces."

Jazz noticed Lori, hand still bandaged from the morning's events heading outside on a hoverboard, her good hand already had a pail of water. "Aww geez Lori, we can let the civvies deal with this; after all []iI[/i] don't go rushing around every time there's a burglary or an assault. These people know what they're doing and-" but it was too late, in a canary yellow flash she was out the door. Jazz sighed. "Always, always rushing off! Just because she's the only one not to have defeated an evil mastermind and thud save the galaxy, she thinks she has something to prove!"

* * *

Vernon a.k.a Sexual act involving pineapples was standing several feet above the ground. This was not to say he was in any manner floating or flying; but he was, quite literally standing there. The fact that he was standing on nothing but thin air seemed to have escaped the notice of the laws of physics for the time being. Vernon had no time to notice this as he had is full concentration on the Book, but his whole being radiated with dread. There are many theories about what spell or incantation would bring about the apocalypse, but what was really needed was an invitation. Currently a small part of Carrotus had been made a living hell; soon the rest of it would arrive.


.

No, I actually meant literaly, seeing as there are massive amounts of demons and storms and fires and... well...

I was not implying that you were bypassing the filter.

Uh... Critisim...

The Queen and The Admiral are still a bit confusing... a bit more than I think you were aiming for. Are they doppleganger angels? Both of them? One of them? Does the king know about the "meetings"? Their meetings are implied to be something more, but are they something more or "something MORE" or AM I JUST THINKING TOO HARD???

They're something more; I don't knowa bout the king at all, he's neglectful and that's why she's doing this I'd say.

There aren't *too* many demons and such, yet. [I didn't say I was bypassing the filter, just that the admins are evil, excepting her grace, Coppertop]



*Chapter 22: Ring of fire*

The entity drifted through the world, wrapping itself around trees, gushing through streams, feeling its form undulate and disperse among the many, many novel toys there were here. The exceptionally perceptive may have seen It as a faint silver mist, or a golden sparkle as It shifted through reality, but little else. This was not just due to the fact that It was moving at a speed of almost 500 meters per second, but also because the entire planet had become surrounded by several miles of stormclouds. From space it looked like a dirty snowball. The entity was enjoying Itself; it wasn't very often It had the energy to become physically manifest, but It could feel the energy of the thread moving through It, not needing any interference but twisting reality around itself now. It wasn't a strong thread, it had not run very often, but it was gaining power rapidly now; when this loop was over it would be etched into perpetuity forever, it could repeat as often as it wished, and the energy it gave would never truly die.

Officers Sidera and Marco stomped grumpily toward the pillar of orange flame that seemed to be coming from somewhere near the city. Despite the panic that was increasingly evident around them they walked, what had happened to their cars, combined with the long dusty walk and finally the light drizzle that had stuck their uniforms to them till the chafed, covered them with mud and chilled them to the bone, had filled them in equal measure with a desire to see someone else suffer for a change, and the attitude to make sure they did. They hadn't been walking an hour before they reached the roadblock.

Technically the road into the city was totally unobstructed, if you didn't count a number of molten, blazing wrecks scattered around the countryside. It was just that a ten foot wall of flickering purple flames cut right across it. They were thin and insubstantial, the road could be seen to continue right through them, yet they seemed to radiate a solidness that went beyond the usual mutual electron cloud repulsions that defined ordinary matter. Several patrol vehicles were parked at the roadside and their drivers were absentmindedly drinking coffee and arguing with themselves. Marco approached the closest one and demanded to be told what was going on.

The cadet he confronted looked as if he was seriously considering quitting right then and there and starting up carrot farming. [The government heavily subsidized the industry and made sure 'unfortunate circumstances' occurred to those planets foolish enough to try and compete with their monopoly on the trade.] He stuttered when he spoke and was trying to drink two cups of coffee and a cigarette. "Well sir, as far as I can tell sir, this wall of flames sir, it appeared all at once sir, and, and anything that tries to cross it sir, gets burned to a crisp and frozen sir." Sidera frowned. "Burned to a crisp and frozen, I see, so I can make a good baked Alaska then?" Another rabbit, this one wearing a lab coat interjected. "Yes, haha, sorry, equipment failure you see, the temperature is about 720 degrees, but we were getting readings of 230 below, we’ll sort it out any moment now." [In fact, the $40'000 temperature analysis probe was doing a good job of measuring the real temperature of the flames, which was +720 and -230 degrees at the same time.] It doesn't go around the city, or even the main road sir, it just encircles a few square miles of empty land. We think this may be the turtle's doing."

This was a perfect opportunity to vent. "So- I suppose nobody's tried to fly over this then? They're only ten frelling feet high!" Another officer answered this. "He tried sir, got burned to a cinder like the rest of them, nothing up to space can go over the spot without becoming a deep fried icicle." He stared mournfully at one of the smoking wrecks. "Poor No'; he wouldn't have taken al those risks if he'd been named proper, he was a good guy." Sidera led him away, patting him on the back while Marco stood stock still and open mouthed. "What the hell is going on here?

He shook his head, for a moment there he'd heard a faint silvery voice whisper 'It is!'

Whoa! Cameo!

Uh... as for the Admrial and the Queen, they just don't seem to have a role yet. Unless their entire role was to get spaz where he was so he could get rabbitnapped by kia and SAVE THE WORLD!!!

Oh, and you forgot something in this chapter.

.

Oh? Really? Do tell.

And yeah,the Queen is a side story mostly.

Adds depth to the story. Makes it feel like the characters have individual lives that may or may not affect the story. So there. :P

Is It what/who I think it is ...?

Yes, yes indeed It is!

Hmmn; I'm going to try to be the 666th viewer of my own thread


*Chapter 23: We all fall down*

Schrock stood staring at the burning purple wall. A few rabbits had chucked 'water' at it, some had foolishly tried to leap it, their charred remains and eerily dismembered bodies scattered the ground. Most of the rabbits had fled when the water had turned, others were running around aimlessly screaming about an invasion. Then there were the frogs.

Not the good kind of frog that Schrock had seen around, especially on Shellion, the ones that you could tell to buzz of when they annoyed you, usually by trying to sell you shoddy merchandise. These were small, croaky and annoying; they had crawled out of what was once water and were hopping all over the place. Schrock took a step back and squished one, they only added to the general chaos. He turned to his brother who was examining one curiously. "Right! That does it! That does it! Didn't I say I had a bad idea about this? You, me, Trixi, we're going to the spaceport and getting the nearest shuttle outta here!

Erst didn't move, a strange expression had crossed his face. "No."

"No? NO? Whaddya mean no?" shrieked Schrock. "This place is going to hell in a handbasket and you want to stay to look at the pretty lights? Whatever this is, we've got to get as far away as possi-" Trixi walked up and put a hand on his shoulder. "There is no way out, the spaceport is blocked and I just heard some sort of attack fleet is up there, they're being shot out of the sky as we speak. We're trapped."

Erst was still staring at the wall. "We've got to stop it, it's up to us." He pulled out the sword he'd been given earlier, Schrock hadn't noticed he'd been carrying it, but now there was no ignoring it; it glowed a sharp blue along its edge; a faint corona several inches away from where the blade actually ended. Schrock's eyes opened wide with horror. "Oh no.. OH no! No, no, no, NO! You can't be serious! Erst!" With a smooth movement Erst brought the sword around as smoothly as if he'd been practicing all his life. It cut a neat chunk out of the flames as if they were mere images painted on a canvas that had been snipped away. In a flash Erst stepped through the gap onto the other side.

Schrock swore. "Shelt! What next" He was answered with a pitiful wail from Trixi, who was rushing about spasmodically "Gaah! It itches! Help!" Schrock rushed over and tried to scratch whatever it was that had her so antagonized. He soon found out what. Lice, hundreds of them, smattered through her fur like grains of sand. "Dear Lord! See what happens when you don't shower? Fur is disgusting!" Still itching like made Trixi stumbled through the gap, and almost immediately collapsed with relief. The lice fell of of her like dust.

Schrock stared up at the sky and it almost seemed to stare back, black ad malevolent. "Very well, two down, but I'm not following them, you hear me? And nothing is going to change my mind!" There was a flash of lightning and a peal of thunder and an angry buzz; the cloud of flies practically shoved Schrock through the gap, just as it burned into nothingness. Schrock stood staring at the wall of flames, this time from the other side, spitting out the bugs that had flown into his open mouth. Trixi, fresh from dusting bugs out of her hair patted him on the back. "That'll teach you to have a big mouth huh?" She laughed, it sounded like a hyena coughing. "C'mon, lets get to the bottom of this!" She dashed off, following Erst who was striding purposefully toward some indecipherable destination.

Schrock stormed after them, cursing all the while. "Stupid, stupid Erst! (-) bloody rabbit! Stupid frelling me! (-)! If I ever survive this Erst, I'm going to strangle you with that bloody doe's ears!"

* * *

Spaz had given up on trying to break free; not because doing so would make him plummet a hundred feet to a very probable messy end, but rather because the more he struggled the tighter Kira dug her claws in, and his arms were already numb. [He had a fear of going numb ever since he'd fallen asleep on his tounge.] Down below him was some sort of purple ring, and Kira was heading straight towards it, loosing altitude as she went. There was a flash and a boom as some craft or other soared ahead of them, then mysteriously burst into flame and plunged to Carrotus. For a second there was a purple ringed hole in the air, which Kira darted through, making ground contact a few seconds later. This was simply a matter of lowering herself until Spaz could stand and folding her wings. She then adopted her standard perching position and preened herself.

Spaz was exceedingly annoyed at the entire situation and was about to draw his blaster and rather forcefully explain this when he found a penny on the grass. [Sometimes a short attention span can be very useful]

* * *

Lori had seen the purple flames a mile off, but she rushed forward anyway; if it wasn't a fire it was some sort of emergency; and people were dying, some mysterious field had already killed every single cow on the planet, and that spoke of some sort of mass invasion. Whatever it was she had no means of contacting Jazz, or anyone else for that matter; but the swarms of bugs would probably alert them, not to mention the sudden almost darkness and mass panic.

The tip of her nose tingled, she went to scratch it and yelped when she did; there was a blister on it, and on her hands too; someone had put a chemical weapon into the atmosphere! A mixture of fear, enthusiasm and pride filled her as she realized the true horror of what could be happening. There was no doubting it now; this was some sort of attack; time for a true Jackrabbit to prove herself! A small part of her mind brought to her attention the sheer scale of what was happening; this was occurring over hundreds of miles, possibly over the entire planet; there was no way in hell that she'd be able to do anything at all without major reinforcements; she brushed it aside lightly, Jackrabbits were never ones to pay heed to common sense at the best of times, besides, did Jazz spend his time worrying about a galactic armada? He'd've laughed at a mere planetwide attack! Without even stopping Lori removed her blaster and urged her hoverboard onward, the things were piteously slow in her opinion and-

There was a brief purple flash, the smell of tin and a sharp crackling sound; Lori was tossed off of her board with a jerk. Out of the corner of her eye she saw it immediately burst into flames and became a melted fused lump. There was a faint sparkle of blue and purple a stabbing wave of pain, then a feeling of hitting a brick wall at high speed. Lori fell carrotusward, and blacked out.

Oh HECK yes!!!

I love the biblical plauges in this one, the imagrery there is great! This isn't science, this is spiritual!

And we have four "Heros" inside the flame, five if you count Kia. Great stuff. Can't wait to see how it wraps up!

Yeah; I love those hard hitters; balistic missiles from God I call 'em. [There are seven in this story, how many can YOU find?


*Chapter 24: Emergency! Well, not really*

Captain-Luteniant Will DeSchmitt dashed between monitors ignoring the constant hail of verbal abuse from his captain, besides, most of it wasn't directed at him. Reports were coming in from the planet's surface of all sorts of improbable mayhem; rivers of blood, darkness at midday; bugs, strange deaths... The captain said it was probably mass panic; that there was some sort of attack occurring. Will had to agree; the entire planet was shrouded in thick grey clouds, worse even than Medivo; Carrotus never looked like that.

As it was this called for a high level rapid response; but everything was going wrong; none of the ground systems were responding; the cloud cover or an electrical disturbance seemed to be blocking transmission, and any attempts to deploy ships into the atmosphere resulted in loss of contact, despite being the early warning system and communications hub, they were utterly helpless.

Helplessness is not a feeling military personnel are used to, and when it occurs it tends to cause very, very rash decisions.

* * *

Wit smiled beatifically, though currently it looked more like a yawning cesspit; his body had melted and bloated as he'd wrapped himself around the world, chocking the atmosphere with poisons and polluting the land and its inhabitants. It had taken a lot of energy and Pollution was tired. But it had been worth it; Pestilence had never done such a beautiful job, that's why he'd been defeated, in the end. Pestilence was, after all, just a small part of pollution, surely?

He stared at the Book, with its Reader, hovering in the sky. The invitation was almost complete, his part was over, for now; t least until they rode out, then the real would begin! Death had been doing Its work, and would continue to do so. It was worrying in fact, Death took care of everyone, even immortals could be... diminished. "Hey 'Red!' Your turn huh? C'mon, get a move on! We haven't got all day! Red turned and stared at him. "It is not my time yet." Wit snarled, his true nature was showing more and more through what had been his disguise for so long. "Not your time!? What the hell are you on about? Take over! Do your thing! You've been waiting for this for ages!"

Red's face was expressionless; unusual for her, but the situation was serious, and something was nagging at her mind, it was going far too well. But it had gone well before... She turned to Sheldon who had started, in some strange way, to flicker. "I can't do anything yet, I'm not in control; for that I need a little... disturbance. Why do you think I keep him around?"

Sheldon shut his eyes, but still saw, and spread himself around the world like Pollution just had...

* * *

Will stared at his screen in horror. "Sir? SIR?" Captain Barnes was yelling at an underling about organizing a rescue fleet, it was hard to be heard over the din. "SIR!" The captain turned. "What? This had better be bloody important!" Will pointed to the monitor, which showed messages being sent to all ship under sector 7G; all ships were being armed, and not just light weaponry; all possible warheads were being activated, armed and aimed.

Imagine a world like a living being, easy to do perhaps. Now imagine civilization in the same way; imagine everything else as black, but the lines of communication, structures cities, power stations, the lot, all lit up and pulsing with energy as people go about their business. At night it dims, but never stops, fed from the generators, a coruscating web entangling the world.

Now see a new presence, a different color, see it spread through the network like water soaking into a sponge. As it spreads see it suck power from one place, and put it into another, see the web subtly alter as the entity switches, alters, fiddles with the entire network.

All over Carrotus panic broke out as alarms rang, missiles armed and silos opened. Rabbits typed ineffectively at dead keyboards, banged helplessly at doors that had locked themselves, tried to remove ruses that had blown themselves, tried in vain to do anything to stop the vast military leviathan awakening.

But awake it did, there was nothing they could do. And it knew what it was created for, it longed to be told what to do. It was after all, just a very big, very advanced sword, and in the fabric of reality something reached out for it and took control.

.

And all hell breaks loose... again...

Nonsense!



*Chapter 25: Threads*

Lori groaned and sat up. Her head felt like it had been split in two, and that was a real possibility, she could taste blood in her mouth and a tentative touch revealed that her face was splattered with it. There was the smell of burnt fur and a dull ache in her left leg; it had been rather badly burnt, but the damage was mainly cosmetic. Indeed a brief checkover showed just how lucky she had been; apart from feeling like hell, nothing was broken, torn or missing and she'd narrowly missed hitting a rather nasty pile of rock by mere inches. She groaned from exhaustion and relief. "Somebody up there must like me." she said bitterly.

It was about then she noticed the dull flickering quality of the light and the quiet crackling noise that had been in the background all the while. For the first time since awakening she took a proper look at her surroundings. She relaxed and drew her blaster, slightly singed but still working. She was in hell, ho-hum; no doubt Devan was here somewhere.

* * *

Schrock didn't bother to stare; he didn't bother to gape, or to ask himself how, or why; he'd had far too many shocks already, his system had overloaded and all he could do was dully analyze what was happening. Whereas he had, just a few minutes earlier been standing on the green grass and relatively familiar buildings of Carrotus, now the ground beneath his feet was charred and rock hard, cracked and blistered by the ever present heat, the air was bone dry, oven hot and tasted of sulfur and tin. Overhead the sky was sheer darkness. Not the tame cold darkness of the night sky; but a hot, old darkness, not lit by any star, giving a sense of age, and infinity and endless heat. Yet there was light; a strange, flickering, worn out light. It came from nowhere and everywhere, as if trapped in this horrid place. And yet, in some unexplainable way, this was Carrotus; out of the corner of his eye, at the edge of his vision Schrock saw flashes of green and blue.

And he felt great. His mind was currently curled up in a corner sobbing to itself, but his body was, quite literally, doing cartwheels. The heat had done wonders the air was strangely invigorating, and it was beautify quiet, no noise at all except the sounds of three beings trudging ever onward in the desolate landscape, following Erst's determined stride, heading who knew where.

After a while he became aware that he was being watched; with surprising stealth a rather short red rabbit had managed to appear beside him. Looking slightly unkempt and more than a bit unusual, especially as he had a bird almost his size perched upon his shoulder, the rabbit had fixed him with a piercing glare of good natured curiosity. After a few minutes of walking in tandem their gazes matched [And despite Schrock stubbing his toes multiple times upon various unseen rocs.] Schrock decided to break the impasse "So; would you mind if I asked who, where why and how?" The strange rabbit stared at him for a few minutes as the question was digested, before speaking. "I'm Spaz, and I'm here because I was rabbitnapped by this stupid dingbat!" He glared at the bird, which preened itself and pretended not to have heard.

Schrock nodded, recognizing a kindred spirit. "I got dragged here by two nitwits whom I only followed because one was my brother, frankly I'd rather have colon surgery than be here right now, but what can I do? Nobody ever listens!" They walked on further. "Yeah, brother's suck; Jazz always took all the cake!" An irrelevant tangent perhaps, but it summed both of their feelings nicely.

* * *

Lori trudged slightly dazedly through the strange landscape panting with the heat, not knowing where she was going, or why. Any sensible person would have sat down, cooled off and thought about where thy were going. And Lori had always been sensible; one brother a lunatic, the other a mercenary [Whose claim to fame was inventing the nonlethal suicide bomb.] while she'd gone to law school and got a degree. And what had happened? Jazz had become a galactic hero and married a princess. Spaz, admittedly was still a lunatic, but he got free room and board, and was head of the guard for chrissake!

None of this had anything to do with the situation in hand of course, but for some strange reason Lori couldn't get her thoughts in order; every time she tried to settle her mind and think things through another memory arose from the depths and bedeviled any attempt at reasoning. It was amazing how every log table had one incorrect entry randomly placed in it, so that copyright fraud could be more easily detected. Or what about her third birthday party, where she'd got stuck in the air conditioning vents for a week? Or...

Her random wandering had led her to a small craggy rise, over which she could see a small group of people walking determinedly onwards. Closer inspection revealed one of them to be Spaz, chatting idly to a turtle. Lori also recognized the dammed bird that had given her the bandaged hand and thought of saving Spaz the effort of roasting it. [He'd be bound to take a bite out of it eventually, it'd taken enough out of him.] In the end she decided to join them; they were probably very stupidly heading into a trap from which they'd need rescuing, and she was just the brave, capable girl needed to do so. After all, Spaz had had his chance.

A brief ramble, followed by a prolonged tumble down a scree slope and a bit of fast limping bought her level with Spaz and his companion who seemed rather depressed in her opinion. He directed her to the front of the group; apparently his brother was leading the expedition, yet they had no idea where they were going. For a brief moment Lori's sensibilities ganged up on her to point out that she and several others had by coincidence managed to band together and were all heading into what was most likely certain death or at least severe inconvenience, but Kira took care of the situation by letting out a gleeful shriek and lunging for her throat. Spaz watched the situation with glee. "Awww! She remembers you!"

After disentangling herself from he psychotic bird Lori approached the two leading figures, a somewhat frazzled rabbit and a surprisingly large tur- Lori paused, then looked twice; she'd spent her life around makeup, ever since she'd broken into her father's mascara. [The family didn't like to talk about it.] and had developed quite a sharp eye when it came to disguises, appearances, cosmetics and enhancement, indeed since she'd managed to stockpile a rather large hoard of treasure during her adventures she'd had chance to try a number of procedures herself. [Of course she'd never admit this, no matter what the papers said.]

What was standing in front of her was a rabbit that had somehow accrued such an air of turtlity that you'd hardly notice; the fur was cut short and his ears folded tightly over his head as to be barely distinguishable, he wore a large [and very realistic] fiberglass shell and held a long, sharp looking sword that flared an disturbing shade of fluorescent blue. Lori smiled and held out a hand. "Sol that's your brother back there is it?" The rabbit turned and fixed here with a simple, determined gaze, the kind she'd seen on Spaz when he wanted the last biscuit. "Oh yes, he's all mad for some reason." Lori sniffed; the air here was getting on her nerves. "Well, err I can really see the family resemblance. Say, where are we going anyway?" The rabbit turned away and continued striding forward, he took exceptionally large steps, so you had to jog slightly to keep up. "Oh I'm adopted, we're going to save the world I think. My name's Erst!"

Lori smiled wickedly and pulled out her blaster. [It wouldn't be wise to enquire where in her skimpy outfit she'd been storing it.] i]This[/i] was more like it! This was what she'd been born to do; battered, bloody, but determined Lori strode forth with the same confidence as the leader. Because she was heading into battle of course, she was highly stung enough that a sudden pat on the back would have made her wet herself.

* * *

It would be stupid to say it had broken loose, or was going to, or was; hell didn't work like that. It wasn't a reservoir of evil any more than heaven was a font of goodness, true evil and destruction lay in the world, waiting to be used. Hell was simply leaking into a small part of the multiverse, and that took time. But it was almost complete, almost. It rode the thread watching the characters move together, so perfectly calculated, in meticulous detail. It giggled to Itself gleefully, this was what it had worked for, it had made an ending, now to watch Its plans unfold!

And of course the thread demanded certain things, they had to be done correctly, clichés were, after all, simply events that had burned themselves so deeply into the fabric of existence that they drew other events to mimic them, to repeat them, over and over. They were small threads in the tapestry of life. And thus, so it was that at the very instant the group rounded the last hill, was the same instant Vernon finished his chant, a moment of perfect balance that demanded the inevitable event,

all hell broke loose.

.

And all hell breaks loose, officially.

Hallo, it's me again, posting for 'DD' I hope to post a chapter a day if I can get online so as not to spam. Anyway...


*Chapter 26: Confrontation*

Officer Marco dragged himself to his feet and dusted himself off; next to him Sidera yelled something incomprehensible. The sheer deafening tone of the white noise around him made talking impossible; the world was a landscape of screeching noise and flickering flame. Out of the corner of his vision he saw a wall of wind, a pressure wave of sound blasting across the landscape. The barrier still stood, flaming higher and more fiercely than ever, but somehow, something had escaped, the sky overhead had turned a sickening blood red, punctuated with clouds the color of infected bruises. As he watched more and more of the horizon was consumed by the strange aspiration. Around him rabbits were fleeing in every direction, screaming silently against the noise, scattering like ants from a hemorrhaged anthill, the flimsy wrecks that had scattered the barrier were being flung into the air like children's playthings and the landscape buckled and twisted like a writhing snake. Yet somehow, something was missing; something about the situation told him he should have been burned to a cinder or similarly eliminated, yet here he was.

He looked over again at Sidera who was steadying herself against a stripped tree. She'd been nearly stripped herself; the day’s events and the recent blast had rendered her once neat uniform [The pride and joy of the little neat freak] little more than soaked tatters. Marco dimly realized that he had to resemble something similar. For a brief moment the two rabbits locked gazes; they weren't going to live through this, both of them knew, they were young, they were rabbits and they were doomed. Simultaneously both officers dove into a nearby ditch out of the wind and did something that cannot be printed here.

* * *

Will DeSchmitt looked on in horror; he'd stopped trying to pull the fuses from his computer minutes earlier and now simply stood in that numb daze that people adopt when their brain is convinced that whatever is happening can't possibly be real. His logic centers had shut down entirely and he merely stood, gently swaying as his comrades ran blindly around him, hammering on sparking keyboards, smashing on closed doors till their hands bled or simply kneeled down and prayed. Then something else caught his attention; the planet below him which had been shrouded in cloud, now sported a bright spot that pulsed and grew as he watched it; a burning red blister growing across the entire world. He sat down heavily, missing his chair but not noticing; it was official then, the apocalypse was here.

* * *

The group leant into the screeching wind that had arisen from nowhere to blast them from all directions. The landscape had changed as soon as they'd climbed the hill; in some strange way the sky had opened, and staring down upon them without seeing were row upon row upon row of... things.

No two were alike; in some strange way they packed the sky, like one of those crazy pictures by Escher, where if you looked hard enough, ever little gap was just another creature. Some had wings, some didn't, some had three eyes, or five, or none, there were claws and talons and limbs and tails, but in some strange way, all the creatures seemed to be waiting. Like an army headed out to march. thought Lori. And there, directly below them, just a few feet from where the group now stood were the generals.

Like the things above, they were hard to describe; one was a rabbit shaped pile of slime, glistening in an unnatural way, breathing noxious fumes into the air. Another was a tall blood soaked figure, teeth of bullets and draped with weaponry. A third flickered in and out of focus, first a rabbit, then a bird, a hint of turtle, then something else entirely. There was a winged and robed creature also, with only the fifth, a grey rabbit in a black cowl, looking anything near normal.

The red creature, vaguely rabbit-like in appearance, strode forth and looked at the intruders disdainfully. When it spoke it was in a voice like a machine gun, words spattered out in short sharp bursts, making war on the ears. "So; these are the vermin It sends against us?" It looked at Erst, who was standing, sword raised and glowing, with a strange look in his eyes. "Ah, and this must be your leader, no? We're a little too late aren't we?" It turned back to its comrades, held its arms up expansively and boomed. "Brethren! Now is the time to ride out! Let us finish this rabble, and take this world!"

The sky itself spoke back, a million voices raised in approval, squawking, screeching, howling and shouting back. Lori wet herself, Kira shrieked and Schrock cupped his hands over his ears. [Or what passed for them on a turtle.] "Great! Can you do that again? I can still hear a little out of this ear!"

.

O_O;

This...is...good...

Man, I really like this...Heheh...

It ... mwahahaha

Huh? What...?

Joshua:....I think the above poster is crazy...

superjwren329: I'd run if I was you. See that thing in the distance? That's Coppertop weilding some sharp object...

Joshua: Waaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! RUN AWAY!!!

Okay...On another note, Yes. This story is quite good, but, I should expect that. I just don't see how come...it's so poplular...Oh, well...

Because there's always the possibility that its central characters will die, everyone likes to see that.


*Chapter 27: One on one*

War strode forward, brandishing her sword with unstoppable force. She met Lori halfway, who kicked her legs from underneath her and aimed a volley of blaster fire at her head. War dodged, rolled and got up smiling. "At last! Someone to play with!" A second later her sword split the ground where Lori had stood leaving a deep gouge in the earth. Lori spun around and whacked the demon in the face with her ponytail; always a favorite move of hers.

Spaz charged wildly at the flickering demon in front of him, who immediately focused into the form of Devan Shell, complete with raygun. The two beings ducked and dodged wildly, with Kira flapping and screeching at the edge of the fray. But no matter how fast Spaz shot, or dodged or kicked, the demon stayed two steps ahead of him. He'd tire eventually, something the demon didn't have to worry about.

Schrock grabbed Trixi's arm and tried to drag her behind a rock, he may as well have tried to drag the rock in front of her, she shook him off and dashed towards the cowed figure. Wit blocked her path before she was even halfway there, about the same time she realized she had absolutely nothing to fight with. Wit sneered, an action that split his face from ear to ear, coughed, and spat. A thin stream of sticky brown sludge hissed toward Trixi.

Trixi dodged to the left but some of the stream of liquid still managed to hit her, splattering against her chest, just under her arm. She screamed, hit the ground and rolled to a halt. For a second she lay still before making a sudden attempt to get up. She staggered a few steps as if her leg was numb then went down on both knees. Still she struggled forward in jerky, hesitant steps as the toxin took hold. It worked surprisingly fast and in mere seconds half her body was seemingly paralyzed.

Schrock ran over to where Trixi lay, still jerkily dragging herself forward on her stomach. She stared briefly up at him before shuddering to a standstill. "Ig foom to ubuggin." she said slurring her words, already one of her legs was beginning to twitch. Schrock tried to pull her upright, and almost succeeded; the rabbit was surprisingly light, little more than skin and bone under the fur. Her head lolled listlessly on her shoulders as she struggled to focus. "I knew this would happen, you stupid, stupid lop-eared twatt!" Trixi giggled quietly in reply and was still. Schrock could feel her body still moving, but they were the sharp, uncontrolled spasms that were the only real sign that a living being has crossed the mysterious threshold that turned them into just so much lukewarm worm food.

Schrock's mind did a quick calculation about odds of survival, ways to die and the sum of the situation then sprang into action. Schrock hurled himself toward Sheldon with surprising speed for a turtle, screaming as loud as possible out of sheer terror and rage and the knowledge that when you're going to die, you should at least go out impressively. Sheldon, while a demon, and a powerful one at that, was not a good fighter and was taken utterly off guard, He went down flailing beneath a hail of blows. The advantage didn't last long however, and Schrock was rapidly picked up and tossed against Spaz like a rag doll, stunning them both. Then Sheldon simply picked Spaz up, and smacked him against a rock. He shuddered and was still.

Schrock grabbed Spaz's now useless blaster and flung himself down the slope as a piercing cry was let out by Kira. The wowhawk pounced on Sheldon and carried him, still flailing, high into the air, where eventually he stunned the bird and broke free. And fell, down, down, down; he'd been very high up, and made quite a mess upon impact, like a rather more colorful broken egg. Oblivious to this Schrock had turned to face Wit, holding the blaster the wrong way around and upside down, while his mind screamed at him to flee. But there wasn't anywhere to flee to.

It soared over the scene, watching it unfold perfectly, watching Its champion advance, sword raised to defend against the demons below. The thread had reached its peak and events flowed with it like water through a millrace. All it would take would be a few more minutes and everything would unfold, like a flower going from bud to bloom.

Then Erst stared at his opponent, lowered his sword and asked "Why?"

Whew! Only *counts* three more posts to go!


*Chapter 28: Revelation*

Thee figure in front of Erst did not move. It also had a sword, one as thin and insubstantial as mist, yet somehow composed of the very essence of sharpness, a blade honed to such and edge that now it was nothing but edge. The figure held it at arm's length, ready to strike, but didn't make a move. When it spoke it was with a voice devoid of all life, empty and flat and toneless, like a sound that had been baked in a desert, flung into the cold depths of space, and spoken through a lead wall. "I cannot say." Erst stared at the figure, who was indistinct, at first glance it was simply a grey rabbit with nothing special to define them, but on closer examination the featurelessness was itself a feature, the entity in front of him was like a mask, or a painting, little more than a picture or costume to display to the world. He looked once more at the fighting going on around him, then back at his opponent. "You've lost one of your party, are you not going to help them?" Again, the dead voice. "No, it is not my fight; it is yours, and your companions. But you will raise your hand against me and we shall spar, everyone loves a good story." Erst turned away from the figure and headed towards Wit. "No. If you won't fight I've got to save my broth-"

It was like walking into a wall of burning ice. Erst froze where he stood as the air turned to treacle. And it hit his mind too, with the force of a sledgehammer. Erst found himself turning, not against his will, but his will itself shifting, making him raise his sword which now flashed with rainbow colors, then burst into flame, a cold fire that made it shine like a beacon. Struggling, Erst forced himself to face away again, pivoting around the sword that seemed nailed to the air. The figure, now behind him, grinned grimly. "Ah, yes, fighting it are we? Such is life, so short and all struggle. You can't possibly win, yet you try anyway, how strange."

Erst staggered forward against the massive force, each step seeming to take hours, his limbs seemingly made of lead. But if there was one thing Erst was, it was stubborn; he had spent his life stubbornly persevering no matter what, and simple sheer force wasn't about to change that. He struggled onward to where his brother was desperately trying to learn how to shoot a blaster.

Then the distance between them grew and the world went gold.

Erst stood in a beam of light, like those shown in paintings of haven, immersed in its golden glows, weightless and spinning gently. For a second everything was still. He could still see the outside world, just inches away, and yet somehow further than light could travel in a billion years. There was no sound and everything had a strange, muffled feel to it. Then came the voice.

It was wordless, purr thought; arriving directly in the brain. It flowed like a melody, burning through the brain, sparking with energy. It have a mental smile and wave, something not seen, but felt like someone pulling a face behind your back, but pleasant. Erst felt as if he was being watched, and he was a good judge of this in a world where people often stared at him for no particular reason. He felt a presence all around him, through him, intangible but somehow even more real than the vents outside this strange golden parcel of reality. The voice trilled inside his head, made of a billion fragments, devoid of any detail, like a waterfall, twisting and turning and whipping away to mist as it spoke, its words inscribing themselves on his mind.

You must turn and fight, it is the only way.

Erst didn't need to reply; whatever it was, somehow he knew it could simply pluck the thoughts from his mind. He wasn't going to fight the strange rabbit, his brother was in danger and needed his help, there were demons after him and they'd ruined a perfectly nice planet, just when he was getting settled too.

But this is their leader, your opponent! Defeat it and all will be well! You will be a hero, your companions will be saved, you'll get the girl, fame, recognition! Your life will be perfect!

Erst thought this over, it didn't take long. Who the heck was he talking to? His life was fine the way it was, at least, until a few hours ago when things started to go insane. People were dying and here was someone chatting about it as nonchalantly as if it were their favorite chapter in a book! He pivoted in nothing and demanded to know who or what he was talking to.

There was a laugh again, a tinkling like a thousand silver bells. Me? I...am. There was a pause as It thought this over. I am the one behind the words, I have no shape, no form, no name, no designation; when the universe became, I shunned the classes of mind. I am neither conscious or not, not demon, nor angel, nor mortal nor spirit. I shape the world. There was another pause, then a burst of the silvery laughter. Haha! Man, what a load of garbage huh? It's all true mind you, but doesn't it sound stupid? Remember, there is no spoon! Erst frowned. He had no idea what the being was talking about, but he was getting a general impression he didn't like, the voice talked down to him as if it were explaining things to an unusually stubborn child.

The air sparkled more brightly and each individual spark began to whirl together, melting, fusing and growing, like a golden galaxy gone nova. I suppose you want something better than gibberish hmmn? Very well. The sparks formed a bright pillar that dazzled the eyes, slowly cooling to a warm coppery glow. I love this form, I've used it often, mostly in visions of course, or when I've needed to nudge things along. As the glow faded Erst could make out someone standing next to him, a rabbit, about his height, but shining all over, like metal, but glowing from within. It was female, and exceedingly attractive, at least by rabbit standards, with a cheerful face, shoulder length hair and wearing a long flowing dress that seemed to float in the air and sparkle like diamond. The rabbit turned to him and spoke without opening her mouth. Like it? A bit flashy perhaps, but fun! At this the rabbit twirled, like a disco ball, sending thousands or shards of light whirling in all directions. If you want to address me in this form, you may call me Miss- no, no, just plain Coppertop will do. Now I expect you'll be wanting to save your friends now?

Erst gathered his wits, the rabbit was certainly impressive indeed. "But I'm still stuck, I can't get to Schrock." The rabbit shook her head. Silly! You can't reach your brother, the, it- well, you have no choice, don't you understand, this is the way it has to be, you fight the leader, you win, everyone lives happily ever after! And then Erst knew. Knowledge just appeared in his mind, as if it had always been there. He saw the thread, a knot of space-time that drew events into itself, made the universe repeat the same sequence over and over. It wasn't just a story, it made stories. And it had been guided here, prodded and pushed gently, slowly gaining energy, slowly bending the world to its will, sharing its energy with all who participated. Erst could see it flowing through the landscape, protecting, manipulating, driving its characters. And he was the hero, the full force of the thread pulsed through him, centered on the sword in his grasp. And there was no escape, if he fought it, the thread would break his arms, and he'd still have to fight. The rabbit gave him an appraising stare. Now you understand? Good. I have spent years setting this up, feeding it as it feeds me, now go fulfill your destiny, go and fight!

Erst turned and brought the sword across in a wide arc. Stories want ends, they don’t care what kind.


.

Haha... Very nice. "It."

Haha.

I personally think that's a bit grammatically incorrect, but there you go.


*Chapter 28: Severance*

For a moment the rabbit stared at Erst in shock, split in two like a cartoon character cut in half, then split into a thousand fragments that were sucked into the sword with a shrill wail. At the same time the cowled figure, who had been watching wordlessly, bought his sword down across Erst's blade, which flared, then dulled, nothing more than an ordinary sword. There was a brief *crack* and the circle of light vanished, an invisible wall of pressure and sound knocked everyone but Erst and the mysterious figure over. For a few seconds there was utter silence.

The figure spoke. "Well done, far better than I expected." Erst looked around, the sky was blue, the strange things above had gone, the noise had gone, the heat had gone. "All things come to an end, congratulations, you've won." The figure walked over to the body of Red, lying face down in the dust, swung his blade right through it, causing her form to shiver and vanish. Erst looked on in open mouthed shock as this process was repeated on the other two demons, who had also succumbed. "Do not look so surprised, they were nothing but spirits, but I am Death, all come to me eventually, even them." Death turned and strode past Spaz and Kira to the sprawled figure of Trixi. As he passed he pointed at the bird. "I shouldn't worry, it's only a broken wing and concussion. Now, as for this one I-"

Schrock seemed to materialize in front of the figure, looking exceedingly annoyed, even for him. "Now hold on one minute there! I Whoever you think you are, you just back off before I do something I regret okay?" Death smiled coldly. "I am Azrael, the shadow of creation, the alpha and omega, then end of worlds. You defy me mortal?" Shcrock stood his ground. "(-) straight I do! You and you 'Look at me I'm so big' gibberish! So you think you can just pop by and take who you want huh? Well I quite frankly am sick of all this, this... idiocy! So you're not getting this one, no matter what you say Mr Azrael, so why don't you just toddle off to whatever realm dimension or enchanted cesspit it is you come from, huh?"

Death smiled, then wavered, two gigantic wings sprouted from its back, windows into sheer darkness, black as midnight on a cloudy day at new moon. The robe became as insubstantial as mist and the visage beneath it became very unpleasant. "I suspect you are not impressed by these theatrics. Many have defied me turtle, but it is not necessary, I do not have a claim on this one anymore."

Schrock smiled triumphantly, and a little nervously. "Glad you saw reason. I've seen enough death today, thankyou!"

Death grinned and turned away. "Indeed. You mortals are strange, always giving your lives for some cause or such, even to another. Besides, you were going to live an unusually long time anyway, as it works out now, you and the rabbit will die around the time your brother does, good day... and see you later."

Scrock's grin disappeared as fast as Death did. "Hey... wait! Whaddya mean were? Wait, no! I never said anything about going 50/50! Where did- wait- come back!"

* * *

And across the planet disaster abated, the skies cleared, storms dissipated and things returned rapidly to normal, leaving little more than a few smoking wrecks and befuddled rabbits in their wake. And above the world too, rabbits found their systems suddenly responsive, locked doors sprang open, blown fuses popped out of their sockets as the military computers of Carrotus topped planning Armageddon and went back to calmly monitoring Carrotus' space for possible threats. All over the planet, and above it rabbits erupted into relieved cheers, then went off to consume large amounts of alcohol, especially those who hadn't done so in a long time.


.

Shweet. Is that the last chapter or is there an epilogue or something?

I swear that's the most creative way I've ever been used in a story.

1.) Yeah, there's one last chapter to go, I shall post it forwith.

2.) Really? I'll tell DD that. She says you've always struck her as an omnipotent pandimensional entity, and I must admit, you certainly have the aura of someone who rules with a copper fist, but with dignity.


*Chapter 30: The final curtain*

Trixi opened her eyes and groaned. Dimly she heard a voice next to her. "Oh shutup and quit complaining, you haven’t just lost half a lifetime so you could at least do some work around here!" Slowly Trixi became aware of the ground moving beneath her, not far beneath her either, as Schrock dragged her across the landscape. "Hey, what happened? Where is everyone?" Schrock growled. "They've all gone off to see if everyone's alright! Nevermind me, having to drag a stupid rabbit all the way back, *noooo!* All I'll say is you'd better start doing your share of the walking or I'm leaving your lousy, long eared butt out here to find its own way back!" Trixi groaned. “Buddy, the way I feel right now, I don’t wanna take anything from anyone.” She smiled. “Besides, I feel all weak at the knees, just get a good grip and- Hey! Not there! No hey! Aaah! Stop! Let go! Put me down this instant! Okay! Okay! I take it back! Help!”

* * *

Erst handed the rabbit across the counter a very, very large drink. It smelt funny, and he wasn't sure what was in it, apparently it was his employer’s special moonshine known popularly as 'suicider' wherever its consumers toppled backwards onto the floor. This was her third; she'd requested it as soon as they'd arrived back at the tavern. On Lori's shoulder sat Kira, muzzily trying to attack her drink and her, with about equal success. In the corner Spaz was winning large sums of money by doing unsanitary things with his tongue. All in all everyone was at least mildly happy and so long as the drink kept flowing, would stay that way.

* * *

Jazz tried to stand upright and ignore the ringing in his ears. He'd quite lost track of the conversation about the time his hearing had vanished. It seemed to be revolving around the recent storm, trouble with the military and civil defence, but mostly about his personal deficiencies as a rabbit. The Queen was being quite exuberant, knocking several holes in the wall, and throwing many priceless antiques in his general direction. Finally, after what seemed like hours she wound up, and with plaster and small rocks still falling from the ceiling and bouncing off the floor, stormed out. Before she left she managed to get an iron grip on the admiral, who had been dragged along for the ride. "You are very lucky the dungeons are flooded! If it weren't for my daughter I'd have you personally flogged! Now me and the admiral are going to have a long and thorough discussion about this terrible breach in our defences, and after the day I've had, I had better not be disturbed!"

Jazz watched the poor admiral being dragged down the hallway, to disappear behind a door that closed with a bang loud enough to break one of its hinges. He turned to Eva who had hastily been trying to remove the more valuable or delicate items from the reach of her mother. "Wow, did you see the expression on his face?" Eva nodded. "Poor guy, from what I've heard, we almost blew ourselves up, he's going to get utterly drilled about this, and there's no telling what she'll do to him if she thinks he's in any way responsible." Jazz sighed and absentmindedly picked a piece of crockery out of his hair. "Well, I know I haven't heard the last of this, not by a long shot, but I'm glad I'm not in his boots, that's for sure!"

* * *

Larrock looked blankly up at the sky. Everything hurt, even his fur, which he didn't think was anatomically possible. It had stopped it then. He was going to live. Of course, he'd obviously been demoted; he'd spent some time 'testing' all his systems, and from what he could tell, he'd been demoted to mortality.

He perked up. Well, that was that then, all he had was his financial and publishing empire, his looks, his charm and only fifty, maybe sixty years left to enjoy it. He got up and brushed himself off. To hell with the job, first thing to do was to dump the restaurants and buy a mansion or something. And get a new outfit! Something in white! It’d be great to wear another color for once! He paused, then searched for his cellphone, maybe Cindy was free tonight...

* * *

And so, for as long as it was possible in the ever changing universe, for as many people as we're concerned with, as well as anyone could possibly hope to, everyone lived happily ever after.

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DD has sent a quarter of another story she's been working on, so I'll have to type up and post that sometime. (She's written a lot, apparently they have a lot of spare time.)