Jazz Jackrabbit 2 Online

This story has nothing to do with Jazz. Then again, neither does half the stuff here. For the convinience of not having to post the story on 3 million websites, I've given it its own: http://t-universe.zapto.org.

Also, a game is being made from it, and I'm planning to have cameos in the form of enemies in some parts of the game. So if you have a semi-interesting character, feel free to submit. Interesting in appearance, that is. They won't do much apart from jumping, shooting and dying, so their personality is not an issue.
Also, don't submit if you've been using time machines to predict whether you will get a larger role in the story. Because people don't randomly come back from the dead. (Spoiler: It was perfectly viable in Chapter 15.)