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Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back? - by various people

 
 
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Violet CLM Violet CLM's Avatar

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Jun 8, 2001, 01:35 PM
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UnPooF

Batty Buddy had Sakura's head, Ducky was covered in Blacksheep's fur, who was trying to walk in Cobra's shoes, Freelance and Slayer had become siamese twins and Beauman had turned into... Gizmo? Also, the AR button had turned into a box entitled "SAV TEH DUKKY FUND" (With backwards ks) and so couldn't be pressed anymore. Looked like the taverners were stuck with this reality for a while... (Oh, and unless I did my math wrong this is the sixth page. Hmmm, carry the 30...)
Sakura

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Jun 8, 2001, 04:57 PM
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Suicide would probably be the best path for me to take. Shall I simply.....?



And be done with it.




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Silverweed wanted perfection, even if it meant he had to die for it.

"The shining circle of the sun, the sun and the rabbit."
Willet

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Jun 8, 2001, 04:59 PM
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my signature was once "Seppuku: When you've tried everything." lol
BæÅüMàÑ

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Jun 8, 2001, 09:08 PM
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BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Hey! I'm Gizmo! that popular wabbit who makes tight stuff! all hail Gizmo

*then as simply as he made the button, Batty Buddy redrew the button*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: oi! Batty! Turn us back! Or else I’ll throw a plot hole on ya!

*Batty pushed the button again, causing everyone to change genders*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hey! I was VERY fond of me manhood, y'know! That’s it!

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ throws a PlotHoleâ„¢ over Batty Buddy's head, causing part of Batty's body to be on the other side of the hole*

Batty Buddy: No!!!!!! The Agony! The Pain! The...... TORTURE!

*On the other side of the plot hole could be seen an alternate universe that had (de) evolved into ranting purple dinosaurs with green spots on them*

Barney1: hey, look everybody! a new buddy to play with! let's sing a song!

" I love you, you love me, we're all a...

(For the sanity of our audience, i shall not end the rest of the song)

*Many muffled screams could be heard from batty buddy*

Freelance: Hmmmmmmm... I wonder wat could be in that plot hole that makes him scream like that?

*Then Batty stuck his head out, breathing heavily*

Batty Buddy: DON"T ever... do... that... again... *huff*

*Batty buddy then plopped his back on the AR button*

Batty Buddy: E hehe... erm... Oops?

*Suddenly the Alternate Realities sped by so fast, that, after almost erasing Carrotus, it broke*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hey... i'm back to normal...

*Checks his pants*... phew

Some Drunken Rabbit: Hey! The monster's gone!

*And so the rabbits rejoiced over Batty doing something right for once, going back to their bad drinking habits*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hmmmmm... now to restart the taps...

FREE DRINKS FOR EVERYBUNNY!!!!!!!

*a large cheer went across the tavern, causing the rabbits to stampede to the front of the bar*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok, one at a time! Oi! RB17! give me a hand here!

RB17: Right away, sir!

*Ducky then emerged from her hiding place, running up behind the bar*

Ducky: And i suppose this all goes on your tab? *Ducky glares at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, which men prefer to call this glare "The Look"*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: E he.... ummmmmm... well.... EXTRA DRINKS FOR GETTING A DUCK FEATHER!

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then runs away from chaos and ducks behind his shop counter while everyone walks towards Ducky like zombies*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ calls his robot, then powers up the shields around his shop, yet still kinda feeling guilty for such a cruel act he committed

============================================

sorry if i killed the "how to save us" plot, but i wrote this after i realized that there was a page 6
Sakura

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Jun 9, 2001, 10:57 AM
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Sakura grabbed her dagger and went outside. She knew what she had to do. Would someone stop her? Should she simply finish the job and leave forever?



Sorry about the desolate Tavern. I shall go to Inle` and die. Inle`, the blackest of dark places.
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"The shining circle of the sun, the sun and the rabbit."
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Jun 9, 2001, 03:15 PM
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A dismal voice halted the evil intentions of Sakura.

"Wanna do me in while you're at it, ma'am? Or just lend me the knife."

I spoke droopily. Sakura gave her an incredulous look. "Pardon?(whoa, such manners we have here)" I gestured to her dagger paw and struck a dramatic pose. "I wish that I have but one..never mind." I slumped to the ground with my penguin. "Fine. BE selfish. Its a cruel world. But I figure if two are going, who not three. Eheh, weird logic."

Sakura was blank, expressionless. "What."

I shrugged and lifted my eyes to the nice fluffy raindrops that were coming down."I have no reason to live. You just figure everyone hates you. Thats no reason to die. When just about everyone you loved is dead already, though, then you have a reason. Be with your friends and all. But never mind." I took Chatters and stepped towards a cliff. Forcing a laugh, "Heh, at least I'm not suffocating, eh? I always thought the worst ways to die were to suffocate and be drowned. I won't mention the rest.

..I woul've liked to die in battle though. Shame all your dreams can' come true." I rambled. Sakura's face had changed, was now wearing one of insanity on my part. "Um.."

I laughed insanely. "He's dead, or dying anyway. There's no way of saving anyone in this world, so I might as well go too. Godspeed, Sakura, see you wherever we end up." I pitched over the edge of the (convenient, eh) cliff having[seemed to have] tripped over a protruding tree root.

"wait, " Sakura said.

"Eh?" I caught myself in midair.

"I challenge you!"



Geez, this is the most depressing bar I have ever been in. No wonder I'm lobbing myself off a cliff

`Ducky



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Jun 9, 2001, 03:46 PM
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End of life. Game over. Now what?



Sad, ain't it? But maybe I deserve it. I deserve it. Yes I do.


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The Last Patriot

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Jun 9, 2001, 03:49 PM
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Errr.. now you cant post here anymore..you killed your online self remember?



Take care..
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Jun 9, 2001, 04:35 PM
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Ghost I can. DuH.
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Jun 9, 2001, 05:15 PM
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Whoa, 2 pages added already. . . that is since I was last here. . . excitement!



"I'm leaving. This is too wierd," CT said, grabbing someone else's hat and heading out the door. The hat owner tackled her, and wrestled the hat away from her. CT then stumbled out the door, as she had been pushed.

Meanwhile, Ducky and Sakura were looking at each other with "insanity" written all over their faces when CT bumped into them. With a mumbled "exuse me" she hurried away before anything else could happen. . . and promptly found herself back in the Tavern. . .
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Jun 9, 2001, 06:02 PM
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The first thing I saw was the Titans were still outside, roasting marshmallows over a small purple fire.



There was a light at the end of my tunnel, just the way Blackie had said in her poetrys.

Everything was so beautiful.

Sakura! Look! You can see the whole world from here!



I sobbed as if my heart was broken. It was, in truth. But I couldn't get back inside!

Hey..someone open the 'Tavern door..



I couldn't touch the past anymore..and I could hear the music seeping through the door.





What?

`Ducky
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Coppertop

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Jun 9, 2001, 06:05 PM
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Umm. . . Okay.
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Jun 9, 2001, 07:42 PM
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I walked back over to my chair and sat down.



"Can a guy get a beer around here?"
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Jun 9, 2001, 09:03 PM
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Her eyes flashed as she heard the mention of suicide.

Standing up, she called for the attention of everyone. Of course, no one hear her, but she started anyway.

"To live is indeed to die; but is it to die that we must live? Life is short and full of hardships I must confess; and even I have considered taking my own life to stop it.

"But is it worth it? Is that one act worth it?

"You all do know that we must die whether by our own hands, by our enemies, or by our Deity's; but why must we cut short our life and stifle the times that we know shall be better?

"Living is harder than dying; suicide is the cowards' way. To die you no longer feel the pain of a broken heart; no more will the loneliness of the night darken your life. You will pass into the unknown and leave all your troubles behind. But to live is to say I am not a coward. To live is to say I will not bend to the will of those against me." She struck her fist into her opened palm.

"To live is to have life that while short is sweet and all we shall ever have. To die in cowardice for life hasn't lived up to the expectation that you, a mortal has set up for it is the job and the fate of a fool." She raised her hand, now mottled with her own blood.

"This is my blood, and this is not the last blood you shall see. You say you are feared, you say you are a terror. But what feared warlord is it who cannot live with their very selves? How can others fear you if you fear yourself so much as you would kill yourself? Will you now die and silence your fate just because of rejection, or will you stand and proclaim that you are the master of your fate and that they are not? Will you compair yourself to your Deity? Are you the one who decides who lives and dies, or are you just a mortal who is sick of herself?"

She breathed out a troubled breath, then turned and strayed out into the dark.


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Jun 10, 2001, 07:30 AM
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I stared.

"I wasn't commiting suicide. I was contemplating suicide. But oh well." I wiped the mud off my feet and poured Lancie a reddish tinted tankard of beer. "There y'go, Lance.." Drifting away..

Hah! The jukebox was going. I shoved Cobra at Slay.



I decided to regain my bartendingness and sat on my stool behind the counter next to the silent NightFire, trying to count stars out the window but only succeeding in spilling a bottle of wine.

`Ducky
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FreeLance57

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Jun 10, 2001, 07:48 AM
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(chug chug)



mmmmmm...





refreshing, with a hint of raddish.
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Jun 10, 2001, 07:54 AM
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That's one of NightFire's special one's, I said, beaming.

Heehee.

`Ducky
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Jun 10, 2001, 08:22 AM
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(a drunk nightfire takes a bow)





(freelance stands up)



LADIES AND GENTLEFISTTTTTTSD...(i fell over into the floor, face down)



(jumped up)



'No no, I'm fine!' i said to the croud of people who were still just talking and having a good time.
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BæÅüMàÑ

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Jun 10, 2001, 10:17 AM
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BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ walked out of his shop, seeing that the turtles were still setup in the pens, and that the stadium was still up.

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ brushed off his tux and went up to the microphone*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: LADIES AND GENTLEBUNNIES! i present to u, once again, hopefully NOT interupted...

CANNIBAL FEUD!!!!!!!!!

*the crowd cheered and many drunk rabbits started to fill the stands*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: And Now, we present, our competitor who voluteered earlier for this round... Give a big round applause for....... FREELANCE!!!!!!!

*the crowd cheers again*

*Freelance looks over a tad bit confused and drunk like*

Freelance: waaat? but..

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: i said.... FREELANCE!!!!!!!

Freelance: but i'm still dru...

*just then some rabbits lifted him up and threw him in the ring*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: and ur oponent, Freelance, is...

*reads the card*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Tiny Tim!

Freelance: phew...

*all of a sudden a rather giant turtle stomped over to the other side of the ring*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: The Rule: no weapons, no magic, no electronics, no special powers, no nothing cept ur own body.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Now... Let the fight begin

*Ding*

...

=============================================

Freelance, u can go ahead and make up the fight, i'm a little lazy
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Jun 10, 2001, 10:29 AM
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I stood. My eyes afixed in a stare at my opponent. He was mongo.





He stood, laughing, with a hardy throaty chuckle.



"You tiny rabbit!" he charged. then stopped. Laughed. Ran a bit more. As if trying to scare me.





Now, I had a few drinks under my belt. Nothing scared me. And I wouldn't feel pain either. However, my barings were wrong and I was drunk.





I staggered around the ring.



The he ran toward me, and with a great shout he flew through the air, trying to pound me into the ground with his massive body.





"Not this time...turtle,"



I sidestepped (by accident actually, as i had lost my balance) just in time and he slammed into the ground.



I staggered again, not really understanding what was happening. As I fell over, my fist flew through the air and slammed into his head.



a great 'phllllshhht" was heard throughout the tavern.



My hand was green. Covered in turtle blood. Somehow my hand had gone through his head like it was a rotten pumpkin.


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Sakura

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Jun 10, 2001, 11:45 AM
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Hyzenthlay was right. Things were never as they seemed. But down in the black depths of Efrafra, it was gloomy.



Where am I? Where shall I go from here?



The shining circle of the sun, the sun and the rabbit. Silverweed was wrong about this; nothing seems right.



Where did my heart go? I'm usually a good person, nice and warm, but now I'm rude and exceptionally evil.



Farewell. And no one inside was right about me.
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Silverweed wanted perfection, even if it meant he had to die for it.

"The shining circle of the sun, the sun and the rabbit."
Coppertop

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Jun 10, 2001, 05:56 PM
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You're beginning to sound a bit like Bliz in his 'depression' topic, Sakura! Lighten up!
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Jun 11, 2001, 07:42 AM
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Que Passa!!!!



((Batty is holding the hitchhikers guide to reality... He throws it away.)Sorry to say this, but the whole A.R. button was supposed to take our minds off suicide. I hate the thought of suicide poping up in this story- especially since I myself threatened to kill myself for 3 school years in a row.)



Batty looked at Freelance's hand. "Eeeeeew!! Better get that washed soon." He then pulled out an weegee board(Not to be confused with the Parker Brothers game. This thing is a cheap lousy immitation.) "Now, we gotta get Sakura back. My cosmic shift may be able to help, but I need some of your cooperation. Who's with me?"
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Jun 11, 2001, 07:45 AM
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(freelance shuns the "weegee" board)



it's evil! (runs)
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The Last Patriot

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Jun 11, 2001, 08:55 AM
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I'M WITH YOU BATTY, LETS GET MARRIED *scratch, scratch* LETS get SAKURA
The Last Patriot

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Jun 11, 2001, 08:57 AM
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Lets go get her batty,

*pulls out his rubber ducky and bares his fangs, then hands his rubber ducky to Cobra*

SlayeR: "Hold this for me Cobra, untill i return by thee side".
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Jun 11, 2001, 10:02 AM
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Que Passa!!!!



"Ok, SlayeR!" said Batty. "Hold on to your handguns, it's going to be a bumpy ride."

Both of them put one of their hands/wings on the weegee board slider, and Batty use his free wing to pull out a portable hole out of his backpack. "Now... No matter what happens, don't let go of the slider. Or else you'll be trapped in purgatory- and that kind of thing can REALLY ruin a guy's day."

He then threw the hole to the floor and both of them dropped into it...

"Wooow!" said SlayeR. "So this is the underworld."

"Yeah," said Batty. "You have no idea how releved I am right now that we're just visiting."

Purgatory in fact looked like a large doctor's waiting room, compleate with back copies of national geographic. And over in the corner, reading the April issue, was Sakura.

"Let's get going!" said Batty. We got to get her to touch the slider to take her back alive..."
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Jun 11, 2001, 12:38 PM
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lol
FreeLance57

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Jun 11, 2001, 12:38 PM
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(you failed to mention it was the april, 1987 issue )





lol



lol



(cough)
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Coppertop

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Jun 11, 2001, 12:48 PM
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Eh. . .



Copper had drunk just enough carrot wine that she was feeling slightly dizzy and immensely cheerful. The Tavern spun, and she happily clung to her stool and ordered yet another glass. However, outside the Tavern someone began nailing the door to the frame, and it prepared to do something even more drastic. . .
FreeLance57

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Jun 11, 2001, 01:06 PM
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FreeLance finished nailing the door shut then realised he had nailed himself out.



So what did he do?



He climbed through the window.





'Wait a second...if one can climb in...can't one climb out?' he thought.





(ugh, switching to first person now)



so what did i do, you ask?



I sealed the window shut with a never melting ice!
Sakura

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Jun 11, 2001, 02:00 PM
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Hate to disappoint you, Slayer, but you can't get me (even though you say so). Unless you want to look for me in Inle`-rah. Would you really?



Nailing yourself out...oh wonderful wonderful



"Hmmmm," muttered someone. "I can hear Sak, but I can't see her. What the heck--"



"Call me Sak, and I'll call you something equally detestable. Now, give FreeLance another bag of nails and a few boards so that he can do the other door." Lock everyone in! That should be fun!
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The Last Patriot

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Jun 11, 2001, 02:20 PM
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You hear her batty!!

She's in Inle- 'Ra,

Whats Inle- 'Ra?



Just tell us and we'll warp right over.
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Jun 11, 2001, 03:06 PM
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Its like...where rabbits go after they die or something? From WaterShip D.



Mmmkay. (is it working?) Can come on the expedition to save Sakura?! Pleaseness, I could..um..I don't know. can I come anywayyy? Black's gone away and I have no one to talk to...



`Ducky




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The Last Patriot

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Jun 11, 2001, 03:10 PM
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noone to talk to?

that kinda hurts my feelings you know
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Jun 11, 2001, 04:03 PM
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lol slayo.







(grabs bag of nails and boards from mysterious hand) (runs and nails other door shut from outside)



(jumps through other window)



(seals it with the same ice things)
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Jun 11, 2001, 05:29 PM
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*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ heard of a conversation of getting Sakura*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: oi! ya, u! Here’s a tux, u host for now!

Drunk Rabbit: *Hic* ok. *Hic* *Hic* *Barf*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Inle`-rah... heh, I can prolly get u there... course if i opened a portal for ya, u gotta pay my tab here, cause I’m very close to getting the funding for a new star cruiser... that'd make it worth my while...

Slayer and Batty Buddy (in unison): OK! Deal!

*They all three shook on it*

Slayer (whispering to Batty Buddy): man... wat a steal... we're totally getting the better end of the bargain here



BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok.... let me warm up here...

*with a large popping sound, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's robes appear onto him*

*pops knuckles*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... let's see here... hey RB17! Get me that inter-dimensional warp director! That might be able to boost the process....

*RB17 brings a small box with a rather weird antenna on it*

*Types in a few things*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... now...

*He waves his hand in a ritualistic motion*

*A red portal appears*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... don't go in yet...

*He then summons a large ring mithril around the portal with many engravings, and then electrifies it with lightning*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: *huff* *huff* that... should do it...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sticks his hand through the portal, then out again*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok, go ahead and use it.

Batty Buddy: ok, get on the board, slayo!

*Slayer and batty get on the board*

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then gives them a push, and the whoosh through the portal*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: *huff* good luck... *catches his breath from the hard magic stuffness*. Hey ducky... erase my name from the tab, put Slayer's and Batty's name on it, they said they'd pay it!

Ducky: eh? Their gonna pay all of it? But it's Ç 27,638,491 (Ç = Carroton Currency).

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: they said they'd pay it, so take my name off of there.

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pulls up a comfy chair and waits for slayer and batty to return*
Ducky Ducky's Avatar

JCF Member

Joined: Jan 2001

Posts: 2,257

Ducky is doing well so far

Jun 11, 2001, 07:23 PM
Ducky is offline
I-didn't meaaan-*stutter* sorry Slayyyie!

I mean..and Lancie I can talk to me too.

Arrrgh. I mean, no one..never mind. I can be the lighthearted inane element.

Kay?! Pleez!

`Ducky
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remember? (:
Violet CLM Violet CLM's Avatar

JCF Éminence Grise

Joined: Mar 2001

Posts: 10,978

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Jun 11, 2001, 11:00 PM
Violet CLM is offline
*Find Ducky and pushes her through the portal before BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ closes it* My good deed for the day, wot?
Willet

JCF Member

Joined: May 2001

Posts: 261

Willet is doing well so far

Jun 12, 2001, 08:12 AM
Willet is offline
hey!



(forces beau to reopen portal)





(drags duck out by her...wing)



(throughs unknown into protal)
 

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